


Hamilton College AU - Sophomore

by jemmymadison316



Series: Hamilton AU [2]
Category: Alexander Hamilton - Ron Chernow, Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate History, Alternate Universe - College/University, Everyone Is Gay, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Genderqueer Character, M/M, Modern Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-08-05 08:22:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 61
Words: 98,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16364294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jemmymadison316/pseuds/jemmymadison316
Summary: The Salt Squad is back for another year of college and all on the same debate team. Can Hamilton and Burr trust each other again? Can Jefferson and Hamilton get along? Can Madison survive his anxiety and manage college?New revelations abound for Hamilton and his life changes in surprising ways.Will Burr ever be ready to tell his friends what happened? Every day is a struggle to force through alone.And what is the world is Laurens getting himself into?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Character personalities are a mix of Lin Manuel Miranda's creation and historically accurate. Jefferson won't be described as wearing magenta every other page. Hamilton and Madison are their historical descriptions while Jefferson and Burr look like their Broadway counterparts.

Alexander Hamilton drove his “new” truck to college to begin his sophomore year. Butterflies whirled in his stomach as he fretted over how things would go. Last spring his new friend and almost boyfriend Aaron Burr had left without a goodbye, without a reason, without contacting him at all. Already having a strong inclination toward abandonment as an orphan in foster care, the loss had driven his anxiety up full speed and sent him crashing for months. Time and medication had helped. But even though he’d played the scenario in his head many times and many different ways, he didn’t know what to expect when he ran into Burr again, which wouldn’t take long, he figured, as they had classes together and were in the same dormitory.

Following behind Hamilton in their Cadillac, were his foster parents George and Martha Washington. They’d been foster parents for almost twenty years and took Hamilton in two years ago during his senior year of high school. The boy had been one of their hardest cases and turned into the most rewarding, especially for Washington who could no longer imagine his life without his dear boy.

Once at the college, Washington helped Hamilton carry his boxes to his dorm. It was the same room he’d had the previous year when he’d roomed with Burr. He hesitated to open the door and hear the heart-breaking echo of abandonment. To see emptiness and draw up the pain that continued to smolder deep inside.

But the door opened to his best friend John Laurens and some of the butterflies fluttered away.

“Alex!” Laurens hugged him. “I’ve been waiting for you.” He greeted the Washington’s who considered him one of “their boys” and had helped get him away from his abusive father that summer.

Hamilton held onto him a little longer, his lifeline from the pain of Burr’s leaving. Even though Laurens hadn’t made himself endearing prior, Hamilton forgave him. They’d both been hurting and unable to express it to each other in a healthy manner. He just hoped the jealousy Laurens had acted on towards Burr wouldn’t resurface. A moot point, though, because Burr might not even want to renew their friendship. It was probably why he’d left in the first place. He had come on too—

Hamilton pushed the destructive thought away. It was a new school year, a fresh start; he didn’t need old anxieties destroying him already.

Mrs. Washington made the bed and hung up Hamilton’s clothes while Washington helped put everything else away. Laurens left to give them some space as the room was small.

“Alright, Alexander,” Washington said and ran a hand through his son’s messy red hair. “You’re all set.”

Hamilton thanked them both, hugged them, and saw them out. Washington slipped him some cash before they walked away.

It was a quiet drive home. Washington held his wife’s hand as she cried. “Lafayette will still stop by,” he soothed. Lafayette, there other recent foster son had moved in with friends a few months ago. “Alex promised to come home this weekend. We’ll still see our boys.” He let go of the steering wheel to wipe at his own eyes.

“I know, dear,” Mrs. Washington said. “You know how much I hate when the boys grow up.”

“I know.” He kissed her hand.

“What do you think of requesting another foster?” Mrs. Washington asked as she dabbed her eyes with a tissue. “Maybe a girl?”

Washington thought for a moment. “I’m not sure. I like having an empty house as little as you do, but are we ready?”

“I know Alexander has become your baby.” Mrs. Washington sniffled. “But there are still kids out there...”

“You’re right. We still have the middle bedroom.” Washington took a deep breath. “I don’t know, dear. A girl would be a completely new experience. What would our boys think? I don’t want to create issues.”

“The boys are adults,” Mrs. Washington reminded him. “I just think a change would be good if we bring in another foster. A girl couldn’t be any less dramatic than Alexander.”

Washington had to smile. “You’re right. I guess call our social worker on Monday and see what happens.” He pulled into their driveway. “It will be nice to keep a child in our house.”

***

Hamilton left his dorm and read the names on the other doors. At the far end on the right, he found _Aaron_ taped up in bubble letters.

Taking a deep breath, he knocked.

Before he had a chance to wonder if Burr had arrived yet or if he was even in his room, he heard the lock click and the door opened.

“Alexander,” Burr mumbled. He wore a baggy t-shirt and shorts. His dark curly hair was cropped close; a worn, tired look filled his dark hazel eyes.

“Hey, Aaron,” Hamilton said. “How are you?” His heart pounded and he knew the tips of his ears were red. He didn’t know if he wanted to punch Burr or kiss him. But he knew Burr would appreciate neither.

“Pretty good.” Burr kept the door only partially opened and looked at the floor. “I’m sorry I left.”

“Can you tell me what happened?” Hamilton wished he could push the door open further. Take away the wall between them and pull Burr into his arms. How many different ways had he imagined this scenario? So far, Burr was following none of his scripts.

“No.”

Hamilton nodded. “But you’re doing okay?”

“Yeah.” Burr glanced up. “How was your summer?”

“It was decent.” Hamilton rested his hand against the door. “Look, Aaron, you hurt me when you left like that and I didn’t hear from you at all. I thought we were friends.” _I thought I might have been more to you. I was going to ask you out._

Burr returned his gaze to the floor. “I’m sorry. I had to be alone.”

“But you can’t tell me why?”

“I’m sorry.”

Hamilton inhaled a sigh. “I’ll respect that. What classes do you have tomorrow?”

Burr told him and Hamilton grinned.

“Good, we have two together. I’ll see you then.”

Burr nodded and closed the door.

Hamilton found Laurens in the common area talking to his former roommate Charles Lee. He frowned when he saw Hamilton and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Can you come back to our room?” Hamilton chewed on his thumbnail.

Laurens said goodbye to Lee and followed Hamilton down the hallway. In their room, he pulled his friend close. “Do you miss your folks already?”

Hamilton closed his eyes and rested his head on Laurens’ shoulder. “A little.” It wasn’t a lie. He’s grown close to the Washington’s in the past two years and no longer balked at calling them Mom and Dad. As far as he was concerned anymore, they _were_ his parents. He would see Washington almost every day, though, as he was a law professor at the college. But the real reason he wasn’t sure if he was ready to express to Laurens yet. He couldn’t deal with an outburst of his friend’s jealousy. “I need a distraction.”

Laurens moved a hand down Hamilton’s body, stopping it against the front of his jeans. “That kind of distraction?”

“Yeah.” Hamilton lifted his head. “It’s been too long.”

Laurens kissed him and pulled back with Hamilton’s lip still in his. He let go. “Lay on the bed.”

Hamilton kicked off his shoes and obeyed.

Laurens pulled off his shirt and climbed on top. He pinned Hamilton’s arms above his head. “What do you want to do?”

“Whatever you want.” Hamilton stared into Laurens’ freckled face and perfect blue eyes.

Laurens let go of his arms and tugged at his jeans. “May I have these?”

Hamilton nodded, licking his lips. He let Laurens undress him.

A few minutes later and the already warm room with no air-conditioning got a lot hotter.

“How—” Hamilton panted as Laurens’ tongue moved in so many different directions “—gay was your summer?” He remembered Laurens mentioning another gay counselor at the Bible camp his father had forced him to for three weeks before he broke free from Mr. Laurens control.

Laurens wiped his chin and leaned over his friend. “Oh, it was fun.” He brushed his nose against the side of Hamilton’s face. “Can we go further?”

“Do you have condoms?” Hamilton asked.

“Eh, it feels better without,” Laurens replied. He moved his mouth down Hamilton’s chest.

“Not happening,” Hamilton said. “Especially by the sounds of your summer. I have some. We’re the same size.”

Laurens snorted. “No.”

Hamilton pushed him off. “Do you want to have sex or not, John?”

“Alright, alright.” Laurens brushed his lips against Hamilton’s. “Get your damn condoms.”

Hamilton slipped off the bed and got the box out of his dresser. He handed it and lube to Laurens. “How do you want me?” he asked.

“Ass up, face down,” Laurens said. He struggled to open the condom wrapper. He almost gave up but Hamilton glanced his way.

“Don’t be a douche, John. Give it here.”

Groaning, Laurens tossed him the condom and Hamilton opened it. “You’re killing the mood,” Laurens grumbled. He lubed up and got on the bed. He pulled Hamilton’s hips toward him and slipped his fingers in.

Hamilton flinched.

“What the fuck, Ham?” Laurens said. “Was I seriously the only action you got all summer?”

“Yeah. I was working.”

“You poor ass.” He caressed his hands against Hamilton’s body and rubbed his organ against him.

Hamilton grunted as he entered and the pressure worsened for a moment until he adjusted his position. “Easy.”

“In or out?” Laurens asked.

“Not so deep,” Hamilton replied.

“You have some explaining to do, Hammy.” Laurens raked his nails against Hamilton’s thighs. “How am I, who lost my virginity to you last year, better at this than you, who lost his virginity at fourteen?”

“Shut up,” Hamilton grumbled. “You’re killing the mood now.”

Laurens fell silent and elicited a long moan from his partner. A few minutes later and they were both drenched in sweat. Laurens rolled off the bed and tossed the condom in the trashcan. He stretched and stood in front of the fan.

Hamilton watched him. With his long, smooth legs, toned, flat chest, and muscled arms, he was perfect for the modeling jobs he was pursuing to pay for college. Too perfect, perhaps, he fretted and tried to push aside the unease he had had the first time Laurens had mentioned modeling.

***

Monday morning, Hamilton woke early to get ready for his first class. As he entered, the bathroom, Burr was heading out.

“Morning,” Hamilton said.

Burr looked at the ground. “Morning.” He hurried away to his room.

Hamilton showered and tried to reason with himself. Burr was probably unsure and embarrassed about how he left things last semester. He would warm up again, right? He replayed the scenarios in his head, especially the ones that ended with him and Burr making out. But his mind pushed the scenes out in favor of bad memories: panic attacks, crying constantly, abandonment.

He turned off the water and dried off. He wrapped the towel around his waist and grabbed his soap and shampoo.

Burr stood at the sinks watching his tired face in the mirror. “I know I hurt you,” he mumbled.

The anger and pain fresh again, in his mind, Hamilton snapped, “You think?” He dropped his shampoo bottle and soap on the counter and his almost violet eyes looked black as he glared at Burr. “You have no fucking idea. I’m on anxiety meds now because of what you did. I was going to ask you out. You abandoned me. If I’m not worth you telling me why then stay the fuck away.” He turned sharply to stare at the door.

Burr grabbed his bare shoulder. “Alex, I didn’t leave because of you.”

Hamilton shrugged his hand away. “Why?” He refused to look at Burr and risk crying.

“I’m not as brave as you are to talk about what hurts me.” 

Hamilton stepped away from him. This wasn’t how the reunion was supposed to go. Burr was supposed to tell him what happened, hug him and make everything better.

“Don’t hate me, Alex.” He reached towards Hamilton but Hamilton jumped away and Burr’s hand brushed at his towel instead and broke the loose tuck.

The towel pooled at his feet. 

This was more how he imagined it would go. Hamilton stood still, heart pounding, wondering if Burr would act to the correct script of the fantasy he’d played out many times in his head. 

“What do you want to do, Alexander?” Burr said. 

Hamilton remained turned away, unable to see Burr’s face. “I want to be friends.” He licked his dry lips as goosebumps flooded his bare legs.

Burr grabbed the towel and wrapped it around Hamilton’s waist, his fingers cold as he tucked it back in place.

Not quite the script he had written but better than he hoped. Hamilton struggled to swallow and he stepped away. “Do you want to walk to class together?”

“I’d like that,” Burr said. He handed Hamilton his shampoo and soap.

Hamilton nodded and hurried back to his room.

Laurens looked up from his desk as the door opened. “We should turn the beds into bunkbeds,” he said.

Hamilton put his stuff away and grabbed clean clothes without answering.

“You saw Aaron, didn’t you?” Laurens stood and approached him. “Babe, look at me.”

Hamilton turned his tortured face toward him as his eyes filled with tears.

Laurens hugged him. “It’s okay.” He stroked Hamilton’s back. “I’m done being jealous. I’ll support and protect you. You do what you need to do, okay?”

Hamilton clung to him, tears spilling down his face.

Laurens eased him away and brushed his cheeks. “Get dressed and we’ll go to the cafeteria for breakfast.” He kissed Hamilton’s long nose.

Hamilton sucked in a shaky breath. He did as told and they soon headed to the cafeteria.

After eating, Laurens remained behind to chat with Lee, while Hamilton returned to the dorm to wait for Burr.

“Um, how is John?” Burr asked as they headed outside.

“Getting his shit together.” Hamilton adjusted his backpack.

Burr nodded.

“We’re not together,” Hamilton said. “But he was there when I needed someone.”

“I feel bad enough, Alex.” Burr ground his teeth. “Please, stop trying to guilt me.”

“You have no clue of the pain you caused me,” Hamilton spat.

“Nor do you know the grief I was in.” Burr stopped and grabbed Hamilton’s arm. “I’m barely getting by right now, Alexander. I don’t need your shit.”

Hamilton jerked his arm free. “Let’s just get to class.”


	2. Chapter 2

Thomas Jefferson waited in front of the main entrance of the college for Mrs. Madison to drop off her son. It was James Madison’s first semester of college and while Jefferson had already taken Madison through orientation over the weekend and helped him find his classrooms, he knew that wouldn’t be enough and he couldn’t imagine leaving his boyfriend to fend for himself the first week of school.

They had only been dating since Madison turned eighteen last March, but they’d known each other for most of their lives. While Madison had always been secure in his countless quirks, it had taken Jefferson a lot longer to come to terms with his own asexuality. They made it work, though, with a work-in-progress balance of what each other needed.

The Corvette pulled up alongside the curb. Madison got out of the front seat face red and puffy. His long, tawny hair fell uncombed in his face.

Jefferson reached in to grab his backpack and was reminded of high school and everything he had done to try and makes things tolerable. But he was two years older than Madison and always stuck with the guilt of having to leave his best friend behind. “It’ll be easier than high school, Jemmy,” he soothed.

“You’ll do great, baby,” Mrs. Madison assured. “Thank you, Thomas.”

“No problem.” Jefferson took Madison’s hand. “You’re first class is with Alexander so that won’t be too bad.” Madison and Hamilton had had a few advanced classes in high school together and got along well, sometimes too well, in Jefferson’s opinion. “I’ll meet you after your classes and take you to your next one. You won’t have to worry about getting lost.”

Madison pressed closer to Jefferson as they entered one of the larger buildings on campus. Students filled the halls and made him feel small. At least at high school, some freshman weren’t fully grown yet and he wasn’t the smallest in the hallway. Here everyone was an adult, tall and mature. Tears dampened his eyes again.

Jefferson found the right classroom and peeked inside. The teacher was there but no one else had gone in. “Come on, Jemmy.” He pulled Madison in after him.

“Good morning,” Jefferson called to the teacher. “Is it okay if I get my friend settled? He’s pretty anxious.”

Madison remained hidden, clinging to Jefferson’s shirt. At barely 5’4, he could easily hide behind his 6’2 boyfriend.

“Of course.” She smiled at him. “You must be Thomas Jefferson then. I know George Washington and he warned me that I have some of his boys in my class.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Jefferson draped Madison’s backpack over the back of a chair in the front row, far right side. “This is James.”

Madison pulled himself away from Jefferson and twisted a lock of hair.

“Well, good morning, James.” She gave another smile. “I’m Margaret Smith. You’ll be in good hands.”

“See? You’ll be fine,” Jefferson murmured to him. “I’m sure Alexander will sit near you.” He unzipped Madison’s backpack and found the books he needed and his purple unicorn pencil bag. “I have to get to class.”

Madison sat down but grabbed Jefferson’s shirt. “Stay,” he whispered.

“I can’t, Jemmy.” Jefferson kissed his head. Shit, he was going to start crying himself now. “I’ll find Alexander, okay?”

Madison turned away as he chewed on his lip.

Jefferson hurried out before he lost it and made the situation worse. He spotted Hamilton and Burr heading his way and did the one thing he hated to do. While he didn’t detest the scrawny redhead as much as he had the previous year and they had made some amends, he still couldn’t wholly trust his precious Jemmy to anyone else. “Alexander, can you keep an eye on James? He’s having a hard time.”

“Sure,” Hamilton said with a quick smile. “Happy to.”

“Thanks.” Jefferson hurried down the hall and upstairs to his first class.

Hamilton opened the door, Burr behind him.

Professor Smith greeted them with a good morning. “Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr, yes?” she asked.

“Yup,” Hamilton said. He took the seat behind Madison while Burr sat across from him.

Hamilton patted Madison’s back. “It’s alright, James. We’re here for you, okay?”

Madison nodded.

Laurens was in the same class as well and filed in with the rest of the students. He spotted Hamilton and poked his shoulder. “Why are you sitting up front? We always sit in the back.”

“I wanted to sit near James,” Hamilton said. “Sit behind me.”

Laurens grumbled and took the seat, which put him in the middle row.

Fifty long minutes later, Jefferson escaped from class and hurried downstairs. Madison knew to wait until everyone else cleared out to avoid being jostled in the crowd and Jefferson timed it just right for when he made it out behind Hamilton and Burr.

“All good?” asked Jefferson as he took his hand.

Madison nodded and clutched Jefferson’s fingers tight.

They headed to Madison’s next class in the same building, although Jefferson would have to run across campus to make his own class, which meant he had no time to get Madison settled. No one he knew was in the class either.

“You’ll do great,” Jefferson assured as he set down Madison’s bag. The teacher wasn’t in the room yet but he had had the instructor himself and knew she wasn’t intense. “See you soon.”

Madison remained silent and got out his books.

Another fifty-minute class later, Jefferson panted as he met Madison in the hallway. “Survive?”

Madison nodded.

“Only one more to get through today.” Jefferson sucked in a deep breath. At least his next class was nearby and he could get Madison properly settled. Then he could concentrate on his afternoon classes alone. As his advisor, Washington had helped Madison and his parents devise a light class load that would give him the essential classes and credits he needed and only keep him on campus for half-days. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday he was done by eleven. Tuesday and Thursday, Madison didn’t start until ten and was done at two. He had an online class to take as well.

Madison’s last class was in a different building across campus and Madison, tired and overwhelmed, didn’t move very fast. When they arrived, most of the students were seated and no front row spot available.

“I can’t,” Madison panicked and shoved his face into Jefferson’s back.

“It’s no different than high school,” Jefferson tried to soothe. But it was. In high school, Madison’s teachers had learned to adapt to his needs and made sure he had an assigned seat. The teachers knew he was too fragile to fight the crowded hallways and might be late to class. It was a private school and Washington—who had taught there before returning to the law department—had made sure Madison was taken care of. Washington didn’t have the same pull here.

“If you’re in my class, get inside,” snapped the professor as he walked past them.

Madison’s teary eyes pleaded with Jefferson.

Jefferson grabbed a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped Madison’s face. “Stop. You have to be brave.”

“Thomas.” Madison tried to hide again.

Jefferson pushed him back despite how much it hurt. “Go on.” He handed Madison his backpack.

“Where do I sit?” Madison whispered as he wiped his eyes.

Jefferson looked in the classroom and met the irritated stare of the teacher. “Left side, near the back.”

Madison dragged himself in and found the seat.

Instantly, the teacher snapped at him, “What’s your name?”

In the hallway, Jefferson’s hands balled into fists and his legs tightened. It took all his willpower not to dart in there and protect his boyfriend. He hurried away, unable to witness Madison squeak out his name.

Since he had a break, Jefferson waited in the nearby library and checked the time on his watch constantly. His course load was harsh for his junior year and he needed those fifty minutes to read. But he couldn’t focus or sit still. He wandered aimlessly through the two-story library for a half hour before he returned to wait outside Madison’s classroom.

He stood aside as the other students filed out and slipped in to help Madison with his backpack.

“Are you his nanny or what?” the teacher barked at him.

“Boyfriend,” Jefferson shot out and his body bristled with dislike for this man. He picked up Madison’s backpack. At least his answer shut the professor up for now.

Madison hurried out of the classroom first. “I want to quit,” he said at once and buried his face in Jefferson’s chest.

Jefferson sighed and scooped him up with one arm. “It’ll get better. You’re only here a few hours a day. Was that teacher mean to you?”

“Yes.” Madison sniffled. “He kept calling on me.”

“Did you answer?”

“No.” Madison tucked his head into Jefferson’s neck. “I couldn’t. Everyone was staring at me.”

“I’m sorry, babe.” He spotted the Corvette and headed towards the road. “But you need that class. It’s a prerequisite for your law classes next year. You’ll get behind if you skip it this year.”

“I can quit.”

“Jemmy, it’s your first day.” Jefferson set him down as he stopped by the car.

Mrs. Madison got out of the driver’s seat. “How did it go?”

“I’m dropping out,” Madison declared.

Jefferson shook his head and put Madison’s backpack in the backseat. “It was rough,” he told Mrs. Madison. “Lots of tears.”

“Oh, James.” Mrs. Madison hugged her son. “What’re we going to do with you?”

“I can stay home.” Madison clung to her.

Mrs. Madison looked at Jefferson over his head.

Jefferson shrugged. He knew Madison had originally wanted to go to college but he wasn’t entirely sure why his parents agreed. It wasn’t as if Madison was ever going to have a career even though he aspired to study law. Jefferson already had plans to go onto law school and knew he could support Madison on his salary after a few tight years. But that wasn’t his call. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Jemmy.”

Madison pulled away from his mother to let Jefferson kiss his head.

Jefferson dashed off as he realized he was late for his next class. This year was going to be a real treat.


	3. Chapter 3

Mrs. Washington called their social worker that morning and found out a sixteen-year-old girl needed a temporary placement. Even though it wasn’t their usual gender, their social worker had no problem with them taking any child knowing they were well versed in difficult situations.

Washington soon agreed and texted Hamilton and Lafayette to meet him for lunch.

“What’d we do?” Lafayette asked as they met up in Washington’s office.

“Nothing,” Washington said. “Mom and I are going to foster a girl and we wanted you boys to know.”

Lafayette frowned. “I thought you were done fostering?”

“I always wanted a little sister!” Hamilton’s eyes lit up. “When is she arriving?”

“Tomorrow.” Washington turned to Lafayette. “The house is too quiet for us. It’s a temporary placement, maybe a month at the most.”

“How old?”

“Sixteen.”

Lafayette shook his head. “Good luck.”

Washington sighed at his sarcasm. “I want both of you to come over for dinner on Saturday.”

“Works for me,” Hamilton said with a grin. “This’ll be fun, Laf.”

“Yeah, sure,” Lafayette said. “What’re we getting for lunch?”

“I ordered sandwiches,” Washington said. “Should be here any minute. How’s the first day back going?”

Lafayette’s face lit up while Hamilton’s fell.

Washington patted Hamilton’s back. “Aaron?”

Hamilton nodded.

Their sandwiches arrived and Lafayette talked about his classes while they ate. Hamilton remained quiet, picking at his food.

Lafayette left to meet up with his best friend and roommate, Hercules Mulligan, as soon as he finished eating.

“What’s going through your mind?” Washington asked. He wiped his mouth and balled up his sandwich wrapper.

“How do I get Aaron to tell me what happened?” Hamilton stared at his half-eaten lunch.

“You don’t, Alexander.” Washington took his cold fingers. “Only Aaron gets to decide that. I know it would help _you_ to know why he left but it doesn’t seem like it’s going to help Aaron to relive his pain to tell you, at least not yet. You have two choices, son: walk away or respect Aaron’s silence.”

Hamilton nodded. “How do I decide?”

“I think your emotions are telling you that you’re not ready to walk away.” Washington stood and kissed Hamilton’s head. “You can give yourself a few days or weeks. Do you want me to save your lunch for later?”

Hamilton nodded.

“Go on to class. Will you stop by before I head for home?”

“Yeah.” Hamilton hugged him and grabbed his backpack. In the hallway, he spotted Laurens talking to a tall stranger, a woman. He frowned. Had he ever seen Laurens talk to a female?

Laurens saw him and shook his head at the woman who walked away.

“Who was that?” Hamilton asked. “Is she a teacher?”

Laurens nodded and rubbed at his arms flooded with goosebumps.

Hamilton touched his shoulder. “Are you alright, babe?”

“Yup.” Laurens flashed a smile and widened his eyes. “See you tonight.”

Hamilton tried to grab him and make him talk more but Laurens slipped away, almost running.

“Where’s the fire?” Burr asked as Laurens raced passed him.

Hamilton shrugged. “He was talking to a woman. I think he has to wash off the germs.”

“Makes sense.” Burr fiddled with the hem of his t-shirt. “Look, Alex—”

“I’m not ready to talk.” Hamilton plucked his bottom lip. “I can’t go through the pain again.”

Burr nodded and walked away.

***

The next day, Jefferson waited for Madison as before and helped him to his first class. But it was with Washington and Jefferson let his mentor take over as he ran across campus.

“How was your first day?” Washington asked.

“I’m dropping out,” Madison insisted as he found his books.

“I was hoping you would try out for debate.” Washington picked up a scrap of paper that fell out of his textbook. He smiled when he read the short message from Jefferson. He bet Jefferson had stuck a bunch of love notes throughout Madison’s textbooks.

“I couldn’t,” Madison said. A faint smile tugged his lips when he read the note. He folded it and slipped it in his pencil case.

“You could. You’re smart, James. You would make an excellent researcher. You wouldn’t have to speak. You could be on a team with Thomas.”

Madison shook his head.

“Think about it. It would be good for you.”

Washington’s class was ninety minutes coinciding with Jefferson’s longer class as well.

Since Washington was with Madison, Jefferson didn’t run to make it back. Plus they had plenty of time before their next classes at one.

Yet, Madison frowned at Jefferson. “I thought you forgot.”

“I was across campus,” Jefferson defended. “It’s not like we have another class right away. Are you hungry?”

Madison shrugged but the pouty look on his face vanished.

Jefferson led the way to the college café above the cafeteria since he knew the latter would be loud and crowded and the food sucked anyway.

“Do you have cash?” he asked.

“No,” Madison said.

“Ask your mom on Thursday.” They got in line. “I can’t afford to buy you lunch twice a week.” He couldn’t really afford to buy himself lunch twice a week either and would have rather eaten the crap food downstairs that was covered in the meal plan he was already paying for. Madison would have to deal with going downstairs with him eventually. But today, he coughed up the money for two sandwiches and a drink to share.

They ate outside at one of the picnic tables scattered near the café.

Madison only ate half his sandwich and rested his head in his arms.

Jefferson stroked his hair and finished it for him. “Did you start your online class?”

Madison bobbed his head. “I like it,” he murmured.

“Didn’t Washington say you could take most of your class online next semester?”

Madison turned his head to the side. “Yeah.”

“That’ll be good.” Jefferson unscrewed the cap of the orange juice bottle.

“He thinks I should try out for debate.”

Jefferson swallowed. “Was he stoned?”

Madison grumbled. “I could be a researcher.”

“Maybe.” Jefferson shrugged and wondered if reverse psychology would actually work. He and Washington had already talked about it and were certain the experience would be good for Madison, as long as he was on the same team as Jefferson. It would give him a little more of a college experience and if their team excelled, some traveling without his parents for the first time.

“I might try out,” Madison persisted.

“Okay.” Jefferson gave another doubtful shrug.

At a quarter to one, they headed towards the law building. Madison had another class with Professor Smith, which was some relief to Jefferson. If only one instructor was stressful, Madison might be able to manage.

“I’m glad you’re early,” Professor Smith said when Madison and Jefferson came in. “Is this the seat you want?” She indicated to the far right seat that he’d claimed in her other class.

Madison nodded.

Professor Smith picked up a fishbowl filled with marbles. “I’ll put this on your desk until you arrive,” she said. “Then if you’re running late no one else will sit there.”

Jefferson squeezed Madison’s shoulders. “Thanks.” He bent down near Madison’s ear. “See? It won’t be all bad. You’ll be taken care of.”

Madison shrugged.

Jefferson left him to settle in in hopes of curbing the dependency before it became a habit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hamilton says some very important words to someone.

On Saturday, Hamilton picked up Lafayette from his apartment and headed toward the Estates about twenty minutes away. It was a wealthy community full of stately mansions with lush green yards and huge trees. Mount Vernon, though, was a more modest-sized establishment. A Victorian house with a large front porch and filled with Mrs. Washington’s collection of senior dogs that she rescued. 

The boys headed inside to the barking of dogs and greeted the pack. Hamilton picked up his favorite, a fat Chihuahua named Potato who befriended him a few months ago. Before then, she had only loved Mrs. Washington

Washington joined them in the front room. “Come on, boys, don’t be shy.” He ushered them into the kitchen.

A petite girl with short brown and blonde ombré hair and wearing glasses sat at the kitchen table with Mrs. Washington going through some homework.

“Boys, this is Bree.”

The girl looked up with a shy smile as Washington introduced her foster brothers.

“I always wanted a sister,” Hamilton said. His blue-violet eyes sparkled. “Do you like your room?”

“Yeah,” she murmured.

“Can you show me?”

Bree looked to Mrs. Washington who nodded.

Hamilton took Bree’s hand chatting about his college dorm and how he missed his old room at Mount Vernon.

She had the middle bedroom with a twin-sized bed on either side. The comforters had been changed from their plain blue to coordinating purple and green. A fluffy purple blanket was folded at the end of one bed.

“Did you pick those out?” Hamilton asked.

Bree nodded.

“Awesome! You have good taste.” 

“Mrs. Washington let me get some stuff since you’ve only had boys,” Bree said. “She wanted me to feel at home.”

“Yeah, Mom and Dad are amazing.” Hamilton examined the new decorations in the room and admired the posters of cats and bulldogs on the walls. 

“It was kind of overwhelming,” Bree admitted.

“I hear you.” Hamilton sat on one of the beds. “It was really hard for me to let them buy me stuff. I wasn’t used to being treated well.”

“Same.” Bree sat at the desk situated between the beds. “How long have you been their foster son?”

“Two years.”

“Lucky! I’m supposed to go to a different home as soon as a spot opens. It’ll be closer to my school and friends.”

“What’s your...situation? If I can ask.”

“Alcoholic father.” Bree picked at her nails.

“My father was trash, too,” Hamilton explained. “He abandoned my mom and me when I was seven. My mom died a few years later. I’ve been in foster care since I was almost thirteen.”

“I’ve only been in care for a few months.” Bree glanced at him. “How do you get used to it?”

“You don’t. Sorry.”

She nodded and rubbed her eyes.

“But you’re safe here.” Hamilton got off the bed and knelt by her chair. “Mom and Dad have the biggest hearts. They already love you. You’re already my sister.” He stood and kissed the top of her head. “Do you like baking? I bet Mom would help us make cookies. She makes the best chocolate chip.”

“I’d like that.”

Hamilton pulled her off the chair and they headed downstairs. The dogs ran over, tails wagging. Hamilton picked up Potato and she licked his nose. “Mom, can we make cookies?”

Mrs. Washington looked up from the pot she was stirring. “Of course. Laf, come make cookies.”

“I’m busy,” Lafayette called from the family room as the sound of explosions erupted from his video game.

“It _is_ kind of a crisis,” Washington replied.

Hamilton poked his head in the room and grinned to see his foster dad attempting to figure out his game controller and not kill his character. “Bree and I can manage,” he said.

Mrs. Washington got them her recipe and returned to the pot of chicken noodle soup.

Hamilton told stories as they measured ingredients and made a mess with eggs and flour. As they scooped up the dough on the tray, his phone rang: Burr.

“Sorry, I have to take this.” He took his cookie dough filled spoon and went into the front room. “Hello, Aaron, what’s up?”

“Are you busy tomorrow?” Burr asked.

“Um, well,” Hamilton sucked on the spoon, “I was going to stay the night at home and hang out with my family. We got a foster sister.”

Silence filled the line.

“Aaron?”

Burr cleared his throat. “Sorry. No, that’s good. I’ll see you Monday.”

“Do you want to come over?” Hamilton asked. “I can pick you up.”

“No, that’s okay.” He hung up.

Washington was in the kitchen sampling cookie dough when Hamilton returned. He watched in admiration as Hamilton’s face went from red and a quivering lip to almost calm as he pulled himself together. “Okay, Alexander?”

“Yeah,” Hamilton murmured. He turned towards Bree. “Good job getting the cookies in the oven.”

Bree smiled and tucked her hands up the sleeves of her oversized GAP hoodie.

The family soon sat down to chicken noodle soup and crackers and tried the cookies hot out of the oven.

“These are perfect,” praised Mrs. Washington. “Good job, kids.”

Hamilton and Bree smiled at each other.

The family spent the afternoon playing board games and, finally, coaxed Lafayette to vacate the couch and TV to join them. After dinner, though, he took Hamilton’s truck to go back to his apartment but promised to return for Sunday dinner.

Hamilton lingered downstairs after Bree went up to bed. “She’s sweet,” he told his foster parents. 

“You did really well with her,” Mrs. Washington complimented. “I know it helped her to talk to you. Today was the most she smiled.”

“Good.” Hamilton stared at Washington.

“You want to sit on my lap, don’t you?” Washington said and put aside his iPad.

“I’ve been trying really hard to hold it together,” Hamilton replied and moved off the couch to sit in the recliner.

Washington rubbed his back. “We appreciate it. You’re growing up. What’s wrong?”

“Aaron called.” Hamilton rested his head against Washington’s chest. “He wanted to hang out but I wanted to stay home tomorrow. He got really quiet when I mentioned a foster sister. I tried to invite him over, but he, basically, hung up. He doesn’t know how much he hurt me.”

“It sounds like he’s still hurting, too,” Washington said. “Give it time. It’s only been a week.”

“I want everything back the way it was.”

“You know that’s never possible.” He stroked Hamilton’s hair. “Aren’t you back with John?”

“Not really,” Hamilton mumbled. He’d never officially asked Laurens out, merely forming a quasi-friends-with-benefits deal that made a mess of things.

“Alexander...”

“I know.” Hamilton sat up. “And if I want Aaron I’m going to have a repeat of John’s neurotics. What was I supposed to do? John was there when I needed someone.”

“You can’t have them both,” Washington said. “I’m worried you might not even be able to maintain a friendship with either. Remember what I told you before?” 

“Walk away or respect Aaron’s silence,” Hamilton murmured. “How soon do I have to decide?”

“I think it’ll hurt you less if you choose soon and know where to put your energy.” Washington squeezed him. “You’re hurting yourself doing both at the same time.”

Hamilton fiddled with the buttons on Washington’s shirt. “I’m worried about John. He’s been acting weird.”

“He might still be in contact with his father,” Washington said. He rubbed the back of Hamilton’s neck. “I know neither of us wants him back in that situation but, Alexander, that’s something we can’t meddle in. We did what we could but we can’t ask John not to see his family if he wants to.”

That whole conflict had been a disaster from the start. Mr. Laurens had been sending his son religious propaganda and gay slurs and taught his younger children horrible things to call their brother. Laurens, in turn, took his frustrations out on Hamilton and used Hamilton’s need for comfort to his advantage. Laurens finally told Washington what was going on and Hamilton accepted his apology but the abuse got worse for Laurens and his father revoked paying for his education. Laurens had moved in with his maternal aunt for the rest of the summer but remained mute on the subject of his family.

***

After a restless night, Hamilton got up early and headed towards the master bedroom. He knocked and asked, “May I come in?”

“Yes, Alexander,” Washington replied.

Hamilton entered.

Washington remained in bed petting one of the dogs. Mrs. Washington sat at her vanity getting ready.

“You’re up early,” Mrs. Washington commented as she rubbed lotion on her face.

“Couldn’t sleep.” He got on the bed and lay next to Washington. Potato crawled towards him and lay on his chest.

“Still conflicted?” Washington asked.

“Yeah.”

“Maybe you should concentrate on school more, Alexander,” he suggested. “Being celibate for a few months would be good.”

“I had sex once all summer,” Hamilton replied. “I’ve tortured myself enough.”

Washington managed a chuckle. “The opposite would have been preferred. Still, son, you need to decide, you don’t want to lead John or Aaron on. You’re being rather unkind to them.”

Hamilton sighed. “I know.” He moved Potato off his chest and rolled on his side. “I wouldn’t have this problem if Aaron hadn’t left. Maybe I should walk away. I’m clearly am not worth opening up to.”

“Don’t be unfair,” Washington cautioned. “It’s understandable to feel hurt but don’t punish Aaron, at least not yet. He’ll talk to you. But it’s also okay if that’s what you need to do for yourself.”

Hamilton closed his eyes and nestled into Washington. “Growing up sucks.”

“You’ll figure it out, son. You’re doing a decent job so far.”

It wasn’t long before he realized Hamilton had fallen asleep. He let him be and got up to shower while Mrs. Washington took the pack downstairs to feed.

Hamilton woke twenty minutes later when he realized Washington had vacated his spot. “Dad?”

“Here, Alexander.” Washington finished buttoning his shirt and sat on the edge of the bed to put on his socks. “You’re anxious, aren’t you?”

“No…” He fiddled with the corner of a pillow.

“You don’t like me out of your sight when you’re anxious,” Washington said. “Are you taking your meds?”

“Yeah. Just a lot going on.”

“Understandable.” Washington patted his leg. “Do you want to go out for breakfast? You and me?”

He really wanted Washington to lay back down and hold him but that was the childish answer and he needed to grow up and help himself. “Yeah.”

“Go get dressed.” Washington stood and kissed his head. “You’re a good boy, Alex.”

Hamilton gripped his strong hand. “I love you.”

Washington’s face softened. “I love you, too. Go get ready.” Once Hamilton was out of sight, he sat on the bed and pressed a hand against his watery eyes. While he knew Hamilton trusted him and looked to him as a father, it was the first time Hamilton had told him so directly. How badly he wanted to give that boy the world!

Fifteen minutes later, Washington drove them to a nearby diner where they managed to beat the after-church rush. They talked about school, about the upcoming debate trials, and how they hoped Bree would settle in easily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and suggests are always welcome!


	5. Chapter 5

Debate tryouts were the second week. Washington oversaw the program and was head of one of the four teams. Despite that, his team the past two semesters had failed and came in last place both times. Hamilton and Jefferson had been on his team last semester but never learned to work together and let their multitude of personal problems overwhelm them.

Each team had four members: two debaters and two researchers. Topics were given half an hour before the debate started. Researchers fed the debaters facts throughout their speech, which made it crucial to work together and understand each other.

 Hamilton didn’t worry about his chances and knew he’d be on a team. He rocked his debate with his uncanny ability to sprout out full, precise paragraphs on the fly. What he lacked in physical presence, he made up for with his energy. Hands flying with grand gestures, pacing, pointing, he made everyone else look uninspired.

While not as verbose, Jefferson had a way with words and a large vocabulary that could make anything sound important and correct. His strong physique added to his authority and made everyone listen. He maintained a soft voice, though and used it to his advantage to raise it at just the right time to force attention to his words.

Thus, it confounded Washington how they hadn’t won last semester. He blamed two people and in pure irony, those two ended up on their team as researchers.

Washington studied his new team with a mix of pride and pity. “Well, my boys, this should be an interesting year.”

Hamilton chewed on his thumbnail as he glanced at his teammates. Madison sat with his face pressed against his drawn-up knees while Jefferson patted his back. Burr studied a worn spot on the seam of his jeans as if it consumed him.

“This is kind of awkward,” Hamilton mumbled.

“Don’t know whose fault that would be,” Jefferson said sarcastically.

“Not mine,” Hamilton insisted.

Jefferson rolled his eyes. He was still shocked that his and Washington’s plan had worked, especially since Madison had cried throughout his tryout. He feared he’d regret this decision as he realized how much energy his boyfriend already consumed from him.

“The past is in the past,” Washington said, keen to whip his boys into shape. “We have one month before the first campus debate. I know each of you has the skills to win but working together is going to be the trick. So—” He looked over the less-than-enthused guys “—let’s go out for dinner.”

“What?” Hamilton asked.

Jefferson narrowed his eyes.

Burr shook his head.

Madison cried.

“You heard me,” Washington said. “Come along.” He nudged Hamilton off his chair.

Burr followed suit, then Jefferson who picked up Madison.

They followed Washington to his Cadillac. Hamilton got in front while the other three squeezed in back. Washington drove a few miles to his favorite chain.

At their table, Washington sat at the head with Jefferson and Madison on one side, Hamilton and Burr on the other.

“Order whatever you want,” Washington said. “My treat.”

“You really want to win, don’t you?” Hamilton said.

“If you boys learn to tolerate each other, I’ll consider that a win.”

“That’s really gay.”

Washington shook his head at him. He turned to Madison. “Doing alright now?”

Madison nodded.

Jefferson leaned close to him. “What do you want?” he murmured. “I’ll order for you.”

Madison pointed to the chicken strips on the menu. “And chocolate milk,” he whispered.

Jefferson squeezed his hand.

“Aaron, how was your summer?” Washington asked. “We missed you and hope you’re doing better.”

“Yes, sir,” Burr mumbled. “It was okay. I worked for two months at the library.”

“Good for you.”

A waiter took their drink order and Washington resumed asking questions. “Alexander, tell us something about yourself that no one here knows.”

Hamilton glared at him. “Why?”

Washington chuckled. “Icebreakers. You boys are going to keep talking until our food arrives.”

“Umm.” Hamilton chewed his cuticles as he thought. “I almost got bit by a shark when I was eight. My half-brother scared it away with firecrackers.”

“Intriguing,” Washington said. “I’ve never heard you talk about your brother.” He wouldn’t have even known if not for Hamilton’s lengthy and cluttered foster paperwork.

Hamilton shrugged. “I don’t know where he is now. He went to, like, St. Croix or somewhere after the hurricane.” He picked at his fingernails but looked up when he sensed Burr’s eyes on him.

Burr sucked on his bottom lip as if he was about to spill something but looked away instead.

“Thomas, what do you have to share?” Washington asked.

“I used to have a pony and compete in English riding events,” Jefferson said.

A smile cracked across Madison’s face.

“James knew that,” Hamilton tattled. “Clearly it was amusing.”

Jefferson rolled his eyes. “There isn’t anything James doesn’t know. And, yes, I suppose it was amusing to watch a black kid ride English.”

“It was the outfit,” Madison said, head down, still grinning.

Jefferson nudged him. “Keep it to yourself, Jemmy.”

“Pictures?” Hamilton asked.

“Give me a minute,” Madison said as he pulled out his phone.

“Um, no.” Jefferson plucked the phone out of his hand.

“They’re on Facebook,” Madison said. “Befriend his mom.”

Jefferson ran a hand across his face. “Oh, God, you’re horrible. Someone else spill a secret.”

“I wasn’t potty trained until I was five,” Madison said.

Hamilton chuckled. “For some reason that doesn’t surprise me. Aaron?”

Burr shrugged. “I don’t have anything good.”

“Come on,” Hamilton egged. “It doesn’t have to be deep.”

“Um, I’m afraid of rats,” Burr mumbled.

“Same,” Madison piped up. “The bald tails are creepy.”

Burr opened his mouth as if to elaborate but nodded instead.

Washington smiled, pleased that the boys were talking. Their drinks arrived and dinner order placed. “Aaron, why don’t you ask a question?”

Burr poked at the ice in his Dr. Pepper. “I dunno… First kiss?”

“I don’t remember her name,” Hamilton answered at once. “But it was fourth grade before I came to the States. She was so cute.” An almost dreamy smile touched his face. “Aaron?”

Burr had a similar tale of grade school puppy love before his classmates noticed his extreme poverty and shunned him. “What about you, James?”

Madison sucked on the tip of his thumb.  He would have to lie and fast as he felt his boyfriend’s eyes on him. But he was saved by Washington who noticed his discomfort and asked, “How about favorite color?”

“Orange,” Hamilton half-shouted. “But I can’t wear it because I have red hair.”

“Indoor voice,” Washington reminded him. “Aaron?”

Burr scratched at his ear. “Blue.”

“Magenta,” Jefferson said.

Everyone looked at Madison but he played with his napkin as his mind stuck on the realization of what he had done back in high school.

“James?” Hamilton nudged him under the table.

Madison jumped. “What?”

Hamilton repeated the question.

“Um, purple.” He looked at Washington. “I need to use the bathroom.”

Washington pointed it out. Jefferson stood to follow him.

“What’s wrong, Jem?” Jefferson said as soon as they were in the restroom. “Have you kissed someone before me? As long as we weren’t officially dating, I’m not going to be mad at you.”

“We weren’t dating yet,” Madison mumbled.

“It’s fine, Jem.” Jefferson stepped towards one of the urinals and unzipped his cargo pants.

“It was Alexander.”

Jefferson’s hand slipped and he peed on himself. “What?”

Madison twirled his long hair. “Remember in high school when I told you I thought Alex was cute and asked you to kiss me?”

Jefferson rinsed his hand at the sink. “Vaguely.”

“I sort of asked Alex to come over that night…” He picked at his fingernails.

“And?” Jefferson wet a paper towel and dabbed at the droplets on his pants.

“We kissed.”

Jefferson balled the paper towel up and tossed it in the trash. “Why?”

“Because I was seventeen and you wouldn’t,” Madison half-shouted. “Thomas, you don’t know how desperate you made me. You don’t know how hard it was to wait. I only kissed him the one time. I knew it was a mistake.”

Jefferson sighed. “It’s fine. I get it.” He sighed again. “I knew you liked him. I tried to keep him away from you. I kissed him, too, sort of.”

“What?” Madison frowned. “You don’t even like kissing.”

Jefferson shot him an irritated look. “It can hardly be classified as a kiss. More like me shoving my face at him to scare him off.”

“When did you do that?” Madison asked.

“Before Christmas break last year. We weren’t dating.”

Madison shrugged. “But why would that be your go-to to scare him off? You won’t kiss me but you’ll shove your lips at someone you hate?”

Jefferson ground his teeth. “I thought we were getting better about this. Why are you hounding me? You invited him over to make out. Why are you mad at me?”

Madison looked away and smoothed his hair behind his shoulders to keep from fiddling with it. “I don’t know. I’m overwhelmed.”

“I can see that.” Jefferson lifted Madison in his arms.

Madison wrapped his hands against Jefferson’s neck and tucked his head in close.

“I was worried about losing you before I even had you,” Jefferson whispered. “Before I even knew who I was. Now I see my fears were warranted. I kissed him out of spite but I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“Don’t apologize.” Madison lifted his head. “I crossed the line much further than you. I’ve probably flirted with Alex more than I’ve realized, too.”

“Nah, I’m just insecure.” He squeezed Madison for a moment and set him down. “Ready to go back?”

“I actually do have to pee,” Madison said. “And I am really sorry.”

A smile softened Jefferson’s face. “I forgive you.”

After Jefferson and Madison left the table, Washington told Hamilton, “Please, try to be nicer to Thomas this year. He’s anxious enough looking after James and trying to do his own classes. Don’t aggravate him further.”

“I don’t do it on purpose,” Hamilton complained. “Everything I say seems to offend him.”

“Maybe not say anything at all?” Burr suggested with a coy smile.

Hamilton snorted. “Not possible.”

“Do try to be polite,” Washington suggested.

“He’s not always nice to me either,” Hamilton said.

“Name one time you weren’t the start of any indiscretions,” Burr said.

“Every time,” Hamilton insisted.

Burr rolled his eyes.

Madison and Jefferson returned to their seats.

Hamilton stared at Jefferson, his hands folded on the table.

“What?” Jefferson asked with a frown.

“I like your hair.”

Jefferson glanced at Washington. “What’s his deal?”

Washington gave a strained smile. “I asked him to work on becoming more polite.”

“You've created a monster, sir,” Jefferson said.

“No, for real, T,” Hamilton said. “It suits you.”

“Because I’m fucking black.”

“Language,” Washington chided.

“English,” Hamilton whispered.

Burr and Madison struggled not to laugh.

Washington sighed. “Thank goodness our food is here.”

After dinner, Washington dropped Jefferson, Hamilton, and Burr off on campus and took Madison home.

“Are you hanging in there, James?” he asked.

“Trying to, sir,” Madison said staring out the windshield.

“I know you won’t have any trouble with your schoolwork. I’m not concerned if you need to miss an occasional class, alright? Take care of yourself first.”

“Thank you, sir.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the Hamburr fans

Washington had the team meet as often as possible. The next afternoon, he told them to pick a sport to play.

“Football,” Jefferson said at once while the other three looked at each other in confusion.

“No,” Hamilton said. “You would crush us.”

“Basketball?” Jefferson suggested.

Hamilton indicated how short more than half the team was.

“Tennis,” Burr said.

“Okay,” Madison agreed.

Hamilton shrugged. “Sure.”

Jefferson rolled his eyes. “Way to pick a masculine sport, Burr.”

They told Washington and he led them to the campus court and set them up with balls and rackets. “Aaron and James against Thomas and Hamilton,” he said and tossed Burr a ball to serve first.

The ball whizzed past Burr’s head. He retrieved it and tossed it up to hit. While his racket made contact, the ball headed downwards and smacked into the net. His second attempt hit Madison in the ankle.

“Stand closer to the net to serve,” Washington suggested, a smirk fighting his face at the amusing scene. Only Jefferson had a clue what he was doing. Madison held his racket up in front of his face for protection while Hamilton gripped his like a baseball bat.

Burr did and managed to get it over.

Hamilton tapped it back towards Madison who missed.

The match went on pathetically for ten minutes. The ball only went back towards Jefferson once and he whipped it hard enough to make Burr cower as the ball short towards him.

Washington let them suffer another ten minutes before he declared no winner possible. Jefferson hadn’t even broken a sweat yet Hamilton and Burr were drenched and Madison wheezed.

“Alright, come sit in the grass,” Washington said. He handed them bottles of water.

Hamilton wiped his face on his t-shirt, lifting it up and showing the top of his hip bones and the line of peach fuzz down his stomach.

Burr stared, licking his lips while Madison’s exertion-flushed cheeks darkened and he hid a smile behind his hand.

Jefferson cleared his throat, the only one seated on the grass. “Jem?”

Madison coughed.

Hamilton dropped his shirt. “You alright?”

“Yes?”

Jefferson covered his face with his hand, shaking his head.

“Sit down, boys,” Washington commanded. “James and Thomas, face each other. Alexander, Aaron, same.”

The boys did as asked, watching Washington with bewildered interest.

“You’re going to look into each other’s eyes for a minute,” he said and took out his phone to use as a stopwatch.

“That sounds….” Hamilton began. “Really…gay.”

Washington glared at him. “You wasted enough time. Begin.”

Jefferson and Madison stared at each other, smiles consuming their faces.

Hamilton and Burr made tentative eye contact and heat rose up Burr’s cheeks as his thoughts turned to Hamilton’s track pants low on his hips. It was the longest minute of his life.

“Okay,” Washington said. “Hamilton, what did you notice?”

“That you’re insane,” Hamilton said. He lay back on the grass, knees up.

Washington groaned. “Aaron?”

“Alex’s eyes really are almost purple,” Burr said.

Hamilton grinned at him. “Right? Everyone thinks I’m lying.”

“Good,” Washington said. “James, Thomas, any comments?”

Madison and Jefferson still watched each other.

Washington pressed a finger into the middle of his forehead. “Change partners. Thomas and Aaron; Alex and James.”

Madison scooted over to Hamilton. Hamilton grabbed him by the sides and pulled him on top of himself. Madison giggled

Burr and Jefferson exchanged a quick, uncomfortable glance.

“Alexander, sit up,” Washington scolded. “Don’t let James roll around on the grass, he’s allergic to everything.

Hamilton sat up and propped Madison in front of himself. Grins claimed their faces as they stared at each other.

“Start,” Washington said.

Within ten seconds, Madison giggled and Hamilton’s smile widened.

A grimace stayed on Burr’s face as he struggled to maintain eye contact with Jefferson. He couldn’t remember ever having a conversation with the stoic junior and only remembered everyone claiming he had a stick up his ass. He hadn’t been around when Jefferson’s world collapsed after Madison broke up with him to see his broken, vulnerable side.

Jefferson’s face was a mask, his dark brown eyes seeing past Burr.

Hamilton and Madison couldn’t control themselves and fell into each other laughing twenty seconds later.

Washington sighed. “I’m done with you boys. At least some of you might work together. Same time tomorrow.” He walked towards the parking lot.

Jefferson and Burr stood.

“You have yellow speckles in your eyes,” Jefferson mumbled.

Burr nodded as he watched his feet.

“Jefferson, get him off me!” Hamilton shrieked with laughter as Madison pinned him down and tickled him.

Jefferson shoved his hands into the pockets of his cargo shorts. “Nope.”

Hamilton squirmed to get away, yet aware of how he moved Madison and careful not to roll him in the grass. He wiggled out from under Madison.

“Do you think Washington is trying to kill us?” Burr asked above the giggling ruckus.

“He just wants us to get along,” Jefferson said. “He’s out of foster boys and he’s decided we’re his best hope.” He removed his hands from his pockets. “That’s enough, James.” He picked Madison off Hamilton. “I’m taking you home.”

“See you tomorrow!” Madison called out over Jefferson’s shoulders as they walked away.

Hamilton waved.

Burr offered his hand to pull him up.

Hamilton grasped it and yanked Burr to the ground.

“What the fuck, man?” Burr sputtered as he braced his hands against the ground.

Hamilton patted his back. “I want to be friends again, Aaron.”

Burr managed to roll over and sat up with his legs laying over Hamilton’s. “We’re still friends.”

“Are we?” Hamilton watched him. “Why did you request a room change?” He picked a piece of grass off Burr’s jeans.

“Didn’t you want to room with Laurens?” Burr asked. He found it hard to look at Hamilton and watched his fingers twirling the blade of grass.

“Yeah, but I didn’t mind sharing with you.”

Burr shrugged. “I like having my own space. I’ve never had that before.”

“I see.” Hamilton lay back in the grass and stretched his arms over his head. His shirt rose up and his hip bones stuck out.

Burr’s eyes glanced over the trail of fair hair that led…

“What?” Hamilton asked.

“Huh? What?” Burr stammered.

“Your face is going red.”

Burr attempted to get up, didn’t get enough momentum and caught himself with his hand against Hamilton’s crotch.

Hamilton grunted in pain. “Get up.” He pushed Burr’s arm.

“Sorry!” Burr jumped to his feet. “I didn’t—”

Hamilton stood, eyes glued to Burr’s face. “You lost weight.”

Burr’s brow wrinkled. “Huh?”

Hamilton pressed his hand against Burr’s stomach. “You still had some baby fat last spring. It’s gone. Did you work out all summer?”

Burr brushed Hamilton’s hand away. “No. Just…” _Didn’t eat because I was depressed._ “Watched what I ate, I guess.”

“You look good, Aaron.” Hamilton reached towards his face and trailed the back of his hands against his cheek and jaw.

Burr stopped him. “What’re you doing?”

“You know staring into someone’s eyes for a minute can make you fall in love with them, right?”

“No.” Burr looked away.

Hamilton kept touching him. “I want to kiss you. I should have fought harder for you.”

“No.” Burr remained rooted to the spot, starving for the attention, dying for the touch. He struggled to keep his breathing even and his chest jerked with a sudden inhale.

Hamilton brushed his long nose against Burr’s cheek and moved towards his lips.

Burr closed his eyes and fisted his hands to keep from reaching for Hamilton. He would get hurt. He would hurt Hamilton more than he already had. He let his lips touch Hamilton’s and tingles raced along his bottom lip as Hamilton took it between his and sucked. When he let go, a pleasant numbness remained and he sought out the rest of Hamilton’s mouth. He didn’t remember unclenching his hands, only aware that one was under Hamilton’s shirt and against his back while the other touched his neck. Hamilton’s own arms kept him close.

Hamilton pulled his lips away and whispered, “What do you want to do?”

Burr kept his eyes closed. Hamilton’s breath warm against his cheek. “I can’t,” he murmured.

Hamilton kissed the corner of his mouth. “You only ever have to ask.” He pulled his arms slowly away and stepped back.

Burr opened his eyes. He shivered and wanted to throw himself back in Hamilton’s arms, knock him to the ground, yank off his pants. He needed someone to hold him, fuck him. Anything to escape the walls he’d built around his heart and make him feel alive. But he let Hamilton walk away. Let him fuck Laurens instead while he returned to his dorm and skipped dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, comment if you're enjoying the story :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Madison fails at life but Jefferson and Hamilton make headway in tolerating each other.

While Madison enjoyed debate and didn’t mind staying on campus longer to work with his teammates, the rest of the experience wore him out.

His two female teachers and Washington he could handle, but Professor Howe continued to torment him.

Madison sat in the back even though he couldn’t see the board and spent the class period with his fingers crossed that Professor Howe would ignore him.

“Jamie,” Professor Howe said, “come up to the front and give an opening statement on anything of your fancy.”

Heat flooded Madison’s body and he knew his face was bright red as everyone turned to stare at him. His heart thundered in his chest and he remained frozen in his seat. No one else had ever been called to the front of the room to speak. Tears burned his eyes and he shook his head.

“No?” Professor Howe headed down the aisle toward him. “Why not? If you want to be a lawyer, you need to learn to speak in public.” He smirked. “You won’t always have your boyfriend to defend you.”

Madison sank into his chair and rested his hands on top of his head, covering his face and closing his eyes.

“Hurry up, Jamie.”

The constant shuffles of feet and paper disappeared in favor of the pounding in Madison’s head. Pain seared across his forehead and a whimper escaped as his body tightened in agony. He didn’t dare open his eyes, as he knew the lights would worsen the sudden migraine.

Professor Howe’s voice sounded far away and foggy.

The pain ratcheted through his entire body and his muscle went lax as he slipped down in his seat. Madison reached for his phone to call Jefferson but his numb fingers couldn’t grip and he couldn’t see what he was doing anyway.

The next thing he knew, strong, familiar arms were around him and a cool blanket against his skin.

Jefferson rocked him and kissed his forehead. “There’s my Jemmy,” he whispered.

Madison nuzzled his face into his boyfriend’s chest, glad to hear ‘Jemmy’ and not ‘Jamie’. “What happened?”

“You passed out.”

He shifted and was hit with the sudden realization he was naked under the blanket. “Where are my clothes?” Madison squinted as a dull ache remained in his forehead and tried to figure out his surroundings.

“You wet yourself,” Jefferson explained. “Washington is washing them for you. You’re in my dorm.”

Madison groaned. “I want to die.”

“Shh.” Jefferson kissed him again.

“What all happened?” Madison shifted into an upright position and tucked the blanket around himself. He leaned against Jefferson’s shoulder.

“Well…” Jefferson dawdled.

“Thomas, please.”

“I guess Howe gave up on trying to get you to talk but didn’t seem to think you might need medical attention. You passed out and wet yourself. Then, you know, it was more noticeable that you were in distress. Howe called for the nurse and she contacted me and I brought you back here.”

“I peed myself in college,” Madison wailed and clutched Jefferson’s shirt.

“Don’t worry about it.” Jefferson brushed away the gathering tears. “You’ll make a fool of yourself a lot worse than that, I promise.”

“Thomas!” Madison pummeled his chest with his small fists.

Jefferson pushed the blanket off Madison’s shoulders and kissed his neck and collarbone. “I’ll love you no matter what.”

The headache vanished as he focused on Jefferson’s warm lips sucking on his skin. He tried to slip a hand up his boyfriend’s shirt but Jefferson stopped him but continued trailing kisses over him.

Madison kicked the blanket off his naked body, which was when Washington decided was a good time to enter without knocking.

“George!” Jefferson sputtered as he covered Madison.

“Sorry.” Washington set the clean clothes on a nearby chair. “I didn’t know if Jemmy was still asleep and didn’t want to wake him. I’m glad you’re okay, Jem.” He quickly closed the door, half-smirk on his face.

Jefferson shook his head and got off the bed. “That man has seen too much,” he grumbled but considering everything that Washington had done for him since his own father passed when he was fourteen and all the advice he’d given last year, he couldn’t bemoan him much. He handed Madison his clothes. “I’ll take you home.”

Madison set his clothes aside and slid off the bed. He stood in front of Jefferson who pointedly looked elsewhere. “Isn’t this part of the college experience? Fooling around in a dorm?”

“Moods gone,” Jefferson said. “Put your clothes on, please.” He continued to stare in the opposite direction.

“Thomas.” Madison grabbed his hand and grinned as his boyfriend flinched. “Why’re you being shy now? You’re still part of the ace club even if you get excited occasionally. I’m not going to think less of you.”

“It’s such a weird feeling,” Jefferson muttered. “Can you just get dressed?”

“Fine.” Madison pulled his clothes on and the pulsing ache returned to his temples.

***

Jefferson massaged at the ache under his eyebrows as he fought his own incoming headache a few days later. Books covered the table in the library as he played catch-up on all the homework he ignored in order to take care of his boyfriend and keep him afloat on assignments.

A chair squeaked nearby and his face twisted in pain.

“You alright?”

Jefferson pinched the bridge of his nose. “Not now, Alexander.”

Hamilton set a disposable coffee cup on the book open in front of Jefferson and sat don across from him. He set down his own coffee and pulled out his laptop from the messenger bag across his chest. “What’re you working on?”

Jefferson took a drink more than in need of caffeine. “I got stuff for speech class, a history paper, a law test to study for, and whatever this shit is for biology.” He handed Hamilton a crumpled assignment sheet.

Hamilton scanned it. “Oh, this isn’t hard. I helped John figure it out, like, last week. You’re kind of behind.”

“I know.” Jefferson sighed and took another long drink. “Can you…”

“Yeah, no problem.” Hamilton opened his laptop. “I still have John’s notes. Let me email them to you.”

“Or you could just…” Jefferson chewed on his lip. “Copy it.”

Hamilton chuckled. “Desperate?”

“It’s required to graduate. I don’t give a shit about biology.” Jefferson winced at the stabbing pain in his head. “This—” He held up another crumpled paper. “—is due tomorrow morning and is way more important.” He dug his knuckles into his forehead. “Fuck, this doesn’t make any sense.” He crumpled the paper back up and threw it. He ran his hands through his dense curls and closed his eyes.

Hamilton retrieved the paper and went to work fixing the stupid mistakes Jefferson’s exhausted brain had made and then changed enough things on Laurens’ biology homework not to look like a copy. By the time he finished with both, Jefferson had managed to scribble out a paragraph for his history paper.

Hamilton glanced at what he’d written. “You spelled ‘treaty’ wrong two different ways.”

“I’m gifted,” Jefferson grumbled. “I’m so fucking tired.”

“Hand it over.”

Jefferson shook his head “You have your own homework. If you start doing mine, you’ll get behind. That’s how I got in this situation, by trying to help Jemmy.”

“Well, the project I was going to work on isn’t due until next month, so…”

Jefferson handed over his paper without further argument. He opened his law book to cram facts into his muddled brain.

Hamilton soon filled the page with his tidy cursive and handed it back. “Dunno if you can use any of that.”

“I hate you right now,” Jefferson muttered. “I’m good at writing. I don’t know why I can’t think.”

“Because it’s one in the morning and you probably didn’t sleep last night?” Hamilton suggested.

Jefferson shrugged. “This is good, Alexander. Thanks.”

“No problem. I’ll print those other papers.” He hit a few keys on his laptop and headed to the printer across the room. When he returned, Jefferson was asleep on his law book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments! I feed off them!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jefferson meets the Washington's foster daughter Bree.

Since Bree had a day off school, Washington took her with him in the morning. She sat in on his classes and got an idea what the college environment would be like. At noon, Hamilton took her with him to the cafeteria.

Laurens got in line behind them. “Who’s this, Alex?”

Hamilton glanced back at him. “Hey, John. This is my new foster sister, Bree. Bree, this is my friend John Laurens.”

Laurens frowned. “Just a ‘friend’, Alexander?” He nudged his way in between Hamilton and Bree.

Hamilton ignored him and looked back at Bree. “Best friend, John Laurens,” he amended.

Bree grinned. “Nice to meet you, Jake.”

Laurens grumbled. “You guys are asses.” He cut in front of Hamilton and grabbed a slice of pizza.

Once they filled their plates, Hamilton led the way to his usual crowded table near the back of the room.

Jefferson, in his booth, looked up from talking to Madison and frowned at the girl sitting beside Hamilton. “Who do you think that is?”

Madison shrugged without looking up, absorbed in his soup as he tried to ignore the loudness of the cafeteria. He hated Thursdays when Jefferson refused to buy him lunch in the café.

Jefferson leaned over and poked Lee in the shoulder. “Who the fuck is with Hamilton?”

“Foster sister,” Lee said. “You haven’t met her yet?”

“The Washington’s are fostering a girl?”

Lee chuckled. “You really don’t pay attention, do you?”

Jefferson got up and approached the other side of the table.

Hamilton grinned at him. “Lost?”

“Foster sister?” Jefferson folded his arms.

“Yeah. Cute, isn’t she?” Hamilton patted Bree on the head.

“Why’d your parents get a girl?”

Bree stood on her chair to be closer to eye level with Jefferson. “You must be Thomas Jefferson.” She tucked her hair behind her ears.

“Did Alexander tell you that?” Jefferson asked.

“Nope, but Mr. Washington described all his boys to me. He said Thomas was aloof and hated change. I think you fit the bill.”

“Huh.” Jefferson looked at Hamilton. “Why are they fostering a girl?” he repeated. “Why didn’t I know sooner?”

“Why does it matter to you?” Hamilton asked. His eyes filled with glee as he watched his foster sister. “I’m pretty sure we told you. You’ve been lost in your own world.”

“Washington fosters boys,” Jefferson insisted. “That’s always been his thing. That’s the dynamic.”

“Get the stick out of your ass and move on.”

“It’ll be alright, darlin’.” Bree patted Jefferson’s head. “I know girls scare you.”

Jefferson brushed her hand away and stormed back to his table. He almost screamed when he turned around and found Bree behind him. “Get.”

Bree ignored him and took his seat at the booth. “You must be James Madison?”

Madison glanced up from his soup. His tired, brooding face lit up at once. “Oh, I love your hair!”

Bree grinned. “Thanks.”

“Could you help me dye mine?”

“Move,” Jefferson hissed at Bree. He rubbed at the incoming ache in his forehead. “Jemmy, hush, your hair is perfect.”

“I want to dye the ends purple again,” Madison said. He looked back at Bree. “Can we do that?”

“Totally.”

“Move!” Jefferson balled his hands into fists and pressed one against his head.

“Oy, T, chill,” Hamilton called out from his table. “Sit with me.”

“I’d rather die.” He glared at Bree.

“Ignore him,” Madison said. “Thomas can be a big baby. Let me see your earrings.”

Bree tucked her hair back to show off the pearl earrings she wore.

“Those are gorgeous.”

Bree smiled.

“Jemmy!” Jefferson tugged his shirt, almost pulling it off his shoulder. “Let’s go.”

Madison rolled his eyes but stood. “See you later, Bree. I’ll ask Mrs. Washington when I can come over.”

“Okay.” Bree returned to her original seat.

Hamilton hugged her. “You’re amazing.”

***

The next Sunday, Mr. Madison dropped his son off at Mount Vernon. “I’m glad you’re helping their foster daughter settle in,” he said as he parked in front of the house.

“Yup.” Madison got out of the car. “She’s going to help me dye my hair.” He grinned and shut the car door.

Mr. Madison shook his head and waved.

Madison skipped up the porch steps and rang the doorbell. The chorus of barking dogs answered.

Bree let him in. “Hi, James.”

“Hi.” Madison handed over a bag with the hair dye. “I’ve only done it once in high school before I got my hair trimmed.”

“I’ll make you look awesome,” Bree promised.

Afterward, they sent pictures to Jefferson who had to agree that she did a good job, the ends of Madison’s caramel-colored hair a nice, bright purple.

“Can you take us to the mall?” Madison asked him on the phone.

“No?” Jefferson grumbled. “I have homework.”

“No, you don’t. Please?”

“No, Jem.”

“Pick us up in, like, a half hour,” Madison wheedled.

“James—”

“Thanks, T!” Madison hung up.

Bemoaning his life, Jefferson arrived a half hour later. Madison got in the passenger side and Bree in the backseat.

“Alex texted back,” Bree told Madison. “He’ll meet us there.”

Jefferson frowned. “The fuck is going on, Jemmy?”

“Shopping.” Madison stroked his arm. “It’ll be fun.”

With an exaggerated grumble, Jefferson headed toward the mall.

They found Hamilton waiting at the entrance along with Laurens.

“Hey, Jake,” Bree greeted him.

Jefferson and Laurens exchanged a look of mutual distress.

“Where to first?” Hamilton asked. He stole a glance at Madison in his tight jeans and oversized hoodie.

“Claire’s,” Madison said.

“Nope, Jefferson vetoed. “You do that store on your own time.”

Madison rolled his eyes. “Bree, want to go with me? We can catch up with you guys somewhere else?”

Everyone agreed, although Jefferson stared after Madison and didn’t seem to know what to do with himself once he was out of sight.

“Coming, T?” Hamilton asked.

“Um…” Jefferson searched the crowd as if looking for his boyfriend. “I’ll catch up.” He moved away without a glance at Hamilton.

Hamilton rolled his eyes. He and Laurens headed off to browse the game store.

Madison and Bree giggled as they browsed through Claire’s. Bree searched for new earrings and anything Pusheen while Madison looked for lip-gloss and colored hair clips.

“I’ll have to pay you back,” Madison said to Bree as they got in line to pay. “I don’t have any cash.”

“No problem.” Bree opened her purse and took out her wallet. “Mr. Washington gave me some money.”

She paid and they found Jefferson waiting for them outside the store.

“A little dependent, aren’t you?” Bree told him.

Jefferson glowered. “I don’t want anything to happen to him.”

“It’s okay, Bree,” Madison said. He handed the small bag to Jefferson. “Build a Bear?”

“I think we should go home,” Jefferson insisted. “I don’t feel well.”

Madison sighed. “Okay.” He hugged Bree. “Sorry,” he whispered.

“It’s okay,” she assured. “Can you guys help me find Alex first?”

“Of course,” Madison said.

They found Hamilton and Laurens at Hot Topic and left Bree with them. Jefferson sped-walked back to the truck, making Madison jog and skip to keep up.

“What’s wrong, Thomas?” Madison asked as they got in and buckled up.

Jefferson shook his head.

“Don’t give me that crap.” Madison took his hand. “Speak.”

“I’m way behind on my schoolwork,” Jefferson said. “I don’t have time for this shit and I keep getting migraines.”

“Sorry.” Madison stroked his knuckles.

“I forgive you.” Jefferson kissed his head. “Your hair does look really nice.”

Madison beamed.

***

Hamilton stayed at Mount Vernon that night but sleep eluded him. He struggled to find a comfortable position and every time he started to drift asleep, Madison’s tight jeans would pop into his mind. He had enough problems dealing with Burr and Laurens. The last thing he wanted was another crush.

But his mind slipped easily into fantasies as it had before he saw Burr again. Thoughts of being the one to rescue Madison from his evil teacher and undressing him and…

…Madison clung to him, kissing him, pulling at his clothes.

Hamilton returned the gestures and lay his partner’s naked body in the grass and covered him with kisses. He ran his hands up Madison’s slender legs and…

Hamilton moaned himself awake and pressed a hand against his throbbing organ. He rolled over and ground himself into his bed. He should have stayed at the dorm. Laurens would have appreciated it.


	9. Chapter 9

“I’m missing three-fourths of my group,” Washington grumbled as only Hamilton arrived at their usual meeting place. “Where are your friends?”

“Yeah…” Hamilton traced a stain on the desktop. “I don’t think I’d use that word to describe them.”

“Alexander, where are they?” Washington demanded.

“Aaron said he had too much homework. The last time I saw James, he was crying so I imagine Thomas is with him somewhere.”

Washington sighed. “I need you, boys, to start working together.”

“We work fine together, sir,” Hamilton said.

Washington raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure? I can put together a mock debate and see where you stand.”

“Please, do.” Hamilton couldn’t make eye contact.

Washington stood and tapped the desk. “Tomorrow’s class will be fun.” He ruffled Hamilton’s hair. “Mom and Bree send their love. Come home for dinner Sunday.” He left the classroom.

“Shit,” Hamilton muttered. He pulled out his phone and started a group message. _W. is going to do a mock debate tmrw in class. I made it sound like we have our shit together. What do we do?_

Jefferson texted back first, _don’t go to class._

 _That’s the opposite of proving him wrong,_ Hamilton replied.

Burr joined in. _We’ll manage. You guys know how to debate._

 _T and I haven’t come close to winning a debate together,_ Hamilton typed. _We don’t know how to work together._

_Better practice tonight._

_I can’t,_ Jefferson wrote. _James is upset. I’m staying with him tonight._

 _We’ll figure it out,_ Hamilton typed.

The chat went quiet.

Burr skipped dinner again and studied in his room.

Hamilton sat on the edge of his bed chewing on his fingernails.

Jefferson held Madison in his arms and tried to soothe his anxiety.

None of them wanted to let Washington down.

***

Washington proved his point.

Bree joined him to help judge and had picked the easy topic: cheetahs or snow leopards? Hamilton and Jefferson were to argue on behalf of snow leopards while their competition, Laurens and Mulligan, fought for cheetahs. 

A half hour was given to the teams to find their facts and develop their agenda. The researchers could continue to research and communicate with the debaters throughout the competition. Washington provided each team with a few books and websites to use. In a formal debate, they would be entirely on their own on where to find facts. 

Madison was a speed-reader and had an easy time retaining facts. He relayed what he found to Jefferson who took shorthand notes in which to form his argument. 

Burr’s brain didn’t work quite as fast but Hamilton’s did and he only needed a few words to spin into a paragraph. But a half hour later when they had to make this work, the holes in the team were clear.

Hamilton gave the opening argument of why snow leopards were supreme. He started good but soon looked to Burr for more info as he had six minutes left to fill. 

The debaters and researchers were allowed to talk but at a minimum and it was best done in code or gestures and as subtle as possible as the audience was not supposed to know.

Bree, at Washington’s nod, tapped the buzzer as a warning as Hamilton and Burr conversed too long. Hamilton stammered for words, repeating himself and not doing any favors to the elusive cats. He looked to Madison instead, but Madison could only shake his head; he didn’t have any pertinent information for Hamilton’s statement.

Bree buzzed again as Hamilton dawdled to run out the clock.

The timer went off and Laurens stepped on stage. 

His team of Mulligan, Lafayette, and Lee had worked as a whole during the half-hour and came up with a solid starting point. Laurens looked to his team a few times. Once Lafayette held up a picture and that reminded Laurens of some fact, they had discussed. Another time a random word pushed him back on track. 

Washington issued no penalties.

Jefferson took the stage, plucking at his shirt, already frustrated. While Hamilton had spoken, he and Madison had scribbled out what they thought was enough but in not utilizing Burr to help tone it down, the argument took on a pretentious air. While Jefferson used his time and only looked to Madison once, Washington docked points for clarity as Jefferson’s lofty words went over everyone’s heads. He also hadn’t bothered to attack any points Laurens’ had made since Madison hadn’t remembered anything he said. A foresight on Hamilton and Jefferson’s part for failing to remember neither Madison nor Burr had ever debated in this style.

Mulligan rammed snow leopards hard although he lost a few points for not making sixty-five percent of his speech about cheetahs. But his team had painted a clear picture of their cat while the other team had two disjointed, unclear dialogues about snow leopards.

In trying to redeem his team, Hamilton lost focus during his second speech and began to ramble. 

Washington buzzed him while Bree tried to smile encouragement.

Hamilton looked to Burr. 

Burr shrugged. He could try to find a new point for Hamilton to discuss but nothing that could continue from his previous long-winded statement. 

Jefferson made headway in his second speech but began to falter halfway through as he lost his chain of thought. He looked to his partner.

“Planet Earth,” Madison whispered.

Jefferson’s eyes lit up as he remembered watching the documentary with Madison and the segment on snow leopards. He breathed some life into his words and made Laurens’ final rebuttal a little harder.

But not much and the final scores were not even close.

The losing team stayed behind to accept their scolding.

“I’m going to get fired from teaching this class if my own team can’t win,” Washington bemoaned. “All four of you have to work together. It’s not two against two. Thomas, Aaron, talk, help each other. James, Alexander, the same thing. Utilize one other. You guys are all smarter than everyone on Team Mulligan but no one would have ever known. You boys cracked under the pressure in class. How are you supposed to perform in front of a crowd?”

Bree raised her hand. “Thomas could take off his shirt. No one wants to listen to him anyway.”

“Hell, yeah!” Hamilton high-fived his foster sister.

“I’d pay attention then,” Madison agreed and smiled at his boyfriend.

“You guys are the worst.” Jefferson snarled at Bree and turned away as he buttoned the top button of his shirt.

“Settle down,” Washington said with a frown at Bree. “Be serious. Bree, apologize.”

Bree smiled up at Jefferson. “Sorry.”

Jefferson backed away, arms across his chest. “Don’t talk to me.”

“Thomas!” Washington scolded.

“Sir, what she said was uncalled for.” He adjusted his clothes again.

“Why are you being so self-conscious?” Hamilton asked. “You should have taken her suggestion as a compliment.

Jefferson stopped tugging at his shirt. “She shouldn’t have said that around James.”

Hamilton smirked. “Like James hasn’t seen you naked.”

“Enough!” Washington exploded. “You boys need to build each other up not destroy one another.”

 Hamilton rolled his eyes. “Fine; we don’t know how to work together.”

“And now we can begin to fix that,” Washington said as he rubbed his forehead. “Decide what you boys want to do and let me know. I’ll let you have tonight off.” He shooed them off.

Hamilton and Burr walked together as they were in the same English class.

“What do you think he wants us to decide on?” Burr asked. His hand twitched to link with Hamilton’s and he stuffed it in his pocket.

“More buddy games, I imagine. Think we can convince him to take us to Vegas for a weekend?” Hamilton grinned.

Burr rolled his eyes. “Probably not. Maybe to the beach? It’s still warm.”

“Possibly.”

The boys texted that evening and decided upon a few recreational activities that might give them the bond Washington wanted. While Hamilton and Madison thought the plan had merit, Jefferson and Burr weren’t convinced they could force a friendship. A tolerance, maybe, and they definitely thought they could learn to work together. But actual friendship? No.

Washington at once vetoed going to the beach citing Madison’s health and risk of sunburn. He shot down several other ideas as well for being too dangerous or too expensive. He suggested he take them to the country club he belonged to and let them swim.

Jefferson and Madison’s parents belonged to the same club and they agreed since they knew the pool was top-notch. Burr and Hamilton concurred to avoid further discussion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to comment! You have no idea how much your thoughts matter to me.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys go swimming.

Although they could have carpooled on Saturday morning, Jefferson drove himself, and Burr rode with Hamilton. Washington picked up Madison and met them there with Mrs. Washington in tow. She wanted to see her boys, plus she was having brunch with some friends.

Mrs. Washington grabbed Hamilton in a hug as soon as he got out of his truck. “You’ve gotten skinnier already,” she bemoaned. “I’ll make some cookies for you tomorrow.”

“It’s been, like, a week, Mom,” Hamilton complained. “How’s Bree?”

“Hanging out with a friend today instead of us old fogies so she’s happy.” Mrs. Washington patted his cheek and handed over a canvas bag. Hamilton didn’t have a swimsuit of his own so she had grabbed one from the clothes Lafayette left behind.

“Come on, boys,” Washington said and herded them toward the front door.

Jefferson and Madison headed inside first since they only had to say their names to get in.

Washington gave his name to the front desk clerk and pointed to Hamilton. “Alexander is our foster son and Aaron is his friend.”

“No problem,” the clerk said and handed him two guest IDs.

Washington ushered the boys inside. “Go with Thomas,” he said. He took Mrs. Washington’s hand and escorted her to her brunch.

Jefferson led the way through the expansive country club to the huge poolroom and adjoining locker room.

Burr and Jefferson headed into stalls to change. Hamilton stripped where he was, as did Madison.

“I took you to be a prude,” Hamilton commented as he watched Madison tug off his skinny jeans and forgot how to breathe.

“No,” Madison said. “I’ve been sick too often to care anymore. I feel like I’m always naked.”

A gargled sound escaped Hamilton’s throat and he had a strong urge to smack some sense into himself. They’d kissed in high school sure, but he knew that had never meant anything. That he had been a toy for Madison to work out some frustrations.

He pulled on the borrowed swim trunks and turned his attention to figuring out how to make them fit. Lafayette was a lot taller and he had to pull the drawstring until it scrunched up and then fold the waistband down twice.

Washington joined them to make sure everyone was behaving.

“Can we go swim?” Hamilton asked.

“Wait for Thomas,” Washington said. “James can’t swim.”

“We’ll stay in the shallow end,” Hamilton said.

“Wait for Thomas,” Washington insisted.

Jefferson and Burr soon finished changing and Hamilton raced out to the pool. He jumped right in with a splash.

Jefferson found a pool noodle for Madison to use to stay afloat. He followed Madison in the water and helped him get on it, riding it like a horse.

“Is there more of those?” Burr asked.

Jefferson pointed out a shelf full of pool toys and floats. Burr grabbed a noodle and joined Madison while Jefferson headed for the diving board. He jumped, purposely landing next to Hamilton and splashing him.

“That’s how you want to play?” Hamilton challenged. “Diving competition.”

“You’re on,” Jefferson replied.

“Best cannonball.”

While they climbed out and headed for the highest diving board, Washington found a chair far enough from being splashed and pulled out a book.

Hamilton went first and made a decent slash.

Jefferson’s, though, was forceful enough to knock Madison off his noodle.

Even knowing Madison could touch the bottom; Burr grabbed him and held his arm until he was back on the float.

“Thomas wins,” Madison declared.

Jefferson shot him a smile.

“Smallest splash this time,” Hamilton said and raced for the diving board. This time Burr declared him the winner.

“Fanciest,” Madison suggested.

Jefferson grimaced but swam to the edge of the pool. The only thing he could think to do was pretend to fly, then grab his legs and hit with a splash.

Grinning, Hamilton leaped off and managed a sloppy flip in midair.

“Alex wins,” Madison said.

Hamilton swam over to Jefferson and doggy paddled to stay afloat while Jefferson’s feet touched the bottom. “Want to admit defeat?”

“Nope,” Jefferson said. He pushed Hamilton out of the way.

Hamilton grabbed onto his arm. “You really should take your shirt off during debate. You’re ripped, T.”

Jefferson grumbled in his throat and crossed his arms. He looked toward Madison and smiled.

Taking advantage of the distraction, Hamilton tugged the drawstring loose on Jefferson’s shorts. “We’ll race,” Hamilton said. 

Jefferson turned his attention back. “Fine. Dive off from the deep end and race toward James.”

Hamilton got out of the pool and watched Jefferson in hopes his shorts would come off but they were snug enough to remain up.

It was a close race. While Jefferson had a longer reach, Hamilton was lighter and faster. They ended in a tie.

“Rematch,” Hamilton said, thinking he might have a chance of tiring Jefferson out enough to beat him.

Jefferson agreed but turned to Madison first. “Doing alright, Jem?”

“Yeah.” He rested a hand on Jefferson’s wet shoulder. “You know Alex untied your shorts, right?” he whispered.

“I know,” Jefferson said. “It’s a fake tie, they’re elastic.”

Madison giggled. “Untie Alex’s, it’ll fall right off.”

Jefferson grinned.

“Coming or not, T?” Hamilton shouted from the other side of the pool.

Jefferson won the race by an arm’s length. “Have to break the tie now,” he said and moved toward Hamilton in the shallow water. He rested a hand on Hamilton’s shoulder towering over him and forcing Hamilton to look up. “Your pick for the tiebreaker.”

Hamilton narrowed his eyes as he watched him. “Fanciest dive.”

“Fine. You first.” Jefferson let go of his shoulder and turned away. He winked at Madison.

Hamilton got out of the pool and headed for the diving board.

“His shorts are going to come off, aren’t they?” Burr asked.

“Yup,” Jefferson said.

They watched Hamilton bounce on the diving board. His shorts went down as he went up and he somehow managed to catch himself in them, lose his balance and smack into the water.

“Well, that wasn’t pretty,” commented Jefferson.

Hamilton swam up sputtering. “Asshole!”

Washington looked up from his book and spotted a pair of swim trunks floating in the pool. He sighed. “Don’t get us kicked out, boys.”

Hamilton paddled toward his shorts and swam back to his teammates.

“I don’t think I could top that dive,” Jefferson said. “I’m going to let you win.”

Hamilton smacked Jefferson with his sopping shorts. “Race me. I’ll win fair and square.”

“You’re on,” Jefferson said. “You gonna put those back on?”

“Nope.”

“Yes, you are,” Washington chided. “You’re in a public pool, Alexander.”

Hamilton rolled his eyes. He waded out of the water and pulled on his shorts.

While Hamilton and Jefferson raced again, Madison floated closer to Burr. “Kind of wish they’d race naked,” he murmured.

“Right?” Burr agreed. “Alex kissed me the other day.”

Madison’s face brightened. “Really? What was it like?”

“Interesting,” Burr said. “Kind of weird. We kissed before—before I left. I know I hurt him.”

“You don’t have to talk about it,” Madison said. His wet hand gripped Burr’s shoulder to steady himself as the noodle slipped. “Do you still want to be with him?”

“I don’t know.” Burr glanced toward the racing pair. “I think—” He paused. “I don’t know but I wouldn’t mind sleeping with him.”

“Same.”

“Aren’t you and Thomas dating?” Burr asked.

“Yeah, so you’ll have to for me.” Madison grinned at him.

Burr returned the smile. “Let’s grab some of those rafts.”

Jefferson and Hamilton splashed to a stop in the shallow end as their marker got out of the water.

“Jem, now we don’t know who won,” Jefferson complained.

Madison held a foam raft. “Sorry.”

“We’ll race again,” Hamilton said. Jefferson had slowed down in the last race. He’d lag for sure this time.

Jefferson stretched as if to intimidate Hamilton with his muscles. “Last chance.”

Burr and Madison lay on their rafts as the finish line.

“Have you and Thomas slept together?” Burr asked.

Madison shook his head. “Neither of us has ever dated before. We’re going slow.”

“Nothing wrong with that. I’ve never either,” Burr admitted.

“Ever date?” Madison asked.

“Not really. I wasn’t popular in school. I just tried to get by.”

“I understand.”

Water splashed near them and Hamilton grabbed Madison’s raft. “I win!”

Madison grabbed Hamilton’s arm to keep from spilling into the water. “Don’t drown me.”

“Sorry.” Hamilton steadied the raft until Madison situated himself center again. “Want me to take you in the deep water?”

“No way,” Madison said.

Hamilton turned to Jefferson. “You’re a loser.”

“Oh, grow up,” Jefferson grumbled. “Grab two noodles, I’ll fight you.”

“You’re on!” Hamilton scrambled out of the water.

As the two fought each other, splashed, and churned up the water, Madison and Burr bailed and got in the hot tub.

“How many siblings do you have?” Burr asked.

“Six,” Madison said. “I’m the oldest. Bess just turned one.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah, my parents are demented.” Madison studied his wrinkled fingers. “You have a sister?”

Burr looked away toward the pool.

“Aaron?”

Burr swallowed. “Yeah.” He glanced at Madison. “What about Thomas? How many siblings?”

“Seven,” Madison said. He watched Burr curiously. “He has two older sisters and the youngest are eight-year-old twins.”

The conversation ended as Hamilton shrieked. Jefferson had him in the air and threw him in the water.

Washington shook his head. He hoped that was considered bonding. He let them harass each other for another twenty minutes before suggesting they think about lunch.

Burr and Madison had no complaints about that and got out of the hot tub and dried off. They hurried to the locker room to change before they froze. They were dressed before Jefferson and Hamilton arrived.

“Do you want me to fix your hair?” Burr asked Madison as he watched him towel dry his long hair.

“Can you?” Madison said. “I don’t want it soaking my shirt.” He handed Burr a toiletry bag with his comb, hair ties, and bobby pins.

Burr managed to twist his hair up in a decent messy bun; although he had doubts how long, it would stay in place.

Madison was satisfied, though, and thanked him.

Once everyone had changed, Washington led them to the country club café. He didn’t trust their manners—and they didn’t look presentable with their wet hair—at the more formal club restaurants. They ordered sandwiches, chips, and drinks.

“Is Mom still here?” Hamilton asked as he opened his bag of chips.

No,” Washington said. “A friend dropped her back off at home. What time should we expect you on Sunday?”

“Like noon?”

“That’s fine, son.”

Washington let them return to their dorms after lunch and took Madison home. He considered the outing a success since Madison and Burr had a chance to converse and he knew those two would be the glue to hold the group together and keep Hamilton in line.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jefferson realizes just how high-maintenance Madison truly is.

Jefferson parked his truck in front of Montpelier and headed inside. It was Saturday night and he knew Madison would already be fretting about the return of Monday.

Madison met him downstairs and they headed up to his room. “What do you want to do?”

“Watch a movie?” Jefferson suggested.

“Sure,” Madison agreed. “We need snacks then.” He dragged Jefferson to the upstairs kitchen and raided the freezer for ice cream. He made Jefferson dish up vanilla ice cream and carried the cookies and syrup back to their room.

Once they finished their snack, Madison cuddled close to Jefferson. “Can we kiss a little?” he asked.

“I’m exhausted, Jem,” Jefferson mumbled.

“Okay,” Madison said. “Will you stay the night?”

“Of course.” Jefferson squeezed him close. That was easier and more pleasant than kissing, especially since Madison was getting keen on taking things to a physical level.

In the morning, they joined Madison’s younger siblings for chocolate chip pancakes. Afterward, Jefferson agreed to help Madison change his Build a Bear collection into their fall clothes.

“You can reach them easier,” Madison said and pointed to the shelf that ran near the ceiling.

“Really?” Jefferson teased as he easily tossed the stuffed animals to the floor without needing Madison’s step stool.

Madison dragged out the bins of clothes and accessories and went to work organizing everything. 

Jefferson watched him, bemused, and picked through the massive collection. “You still have Tricycle.” He grabbed the much-loved triceratops.

“Duh.” Madison smiled. “You got him for my fifteenth birthday.” He pointed to a brontosaurus. “He and Dandy are mates.” 

If not for indulging Madison, Jefferson wouldn’t have been sure the last time he played with toys. A few special toys were still in his room but he had packed away, sold or donated most of it back before he started high school. He admired Madison for never succumbing to the need to get rid of his toys. Madison adapted his style from active play to collecting and setting up small scenes and displays. On occasion, he posted pictures on Facebook of the stuffed animals having adventures.

“Where are Martha and George?” Jefferson asked as he began setting the stuffed animals in a row.

Madison picked the two dogs from the pile. Martha was a black poodle and George a German shepherd.

“May I change them?”

Madison smiled. “Of course.”

The morning sped by and they got all the animals changed and back on the shelf by noon.

“Want to go out for lunch?” Jefferson asked as he struggled to get George to sit properly on the shelf. “Stay,” he commanded the stuffed animal.

George didn’t topple onto Jefferson’s head this time.

“Sounds good.” Madison wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s waist. “Ice cream?”

“For dessert,” Jefferson insisted. “You have to eat real food, too.”

“Ice cream is real. It’s dairy.”

Jefferson chuckled. “Got me there. Where do you want to go?”

“You’re really going to let me eat ice cream for lunch?” Madison looked up at him with bright eyes.

“If that’s what your heart desires.” He kissed Madison’s head.

“Sweet!” Madison hurried to his closet. “Can I wear a skirt?”

Jefferson grimaced. “I’d rather you not.”

In high school, Madison had discovered that he enjoyed wearing skirts. While the situation had been forced upon him as supposed “punishment,” how he actually felt wearing them was positive and he continued doing so even though Jefferson was less enthused by his interest.

Madison held up a pair of plum skinny jeans. “These?”

“Sure.”

He changed out of his lounge shorts and tank top and grabbed sandals. “Ready.”

Jefferson followed him downstairs checking the pockets of his cargo shorts for his keys. “Where are we going?”

“That ice cream place on 34th has real food, too,” Madison said. He jumped down the last two stairs.

Jefferson agreed forever amused by Madison’s knowledge of every place that had good desserts.

They headed out of the Estates and toward the edge of downtown. Since it was almost one, they missed most of the lunch crowd.

Jefferson ordered Madison a double scoop of chocolate brownie ice cream and a hamburger and fries for himself.

Madison slurped at his ice cream and made a mess, getting chocolate on t-shirt and nose.

“Why do I take you places?” Jefferson teased as he grabbed a napkin.

“Because you love me,” Madison said.

“Is that why?”

Madison rolled his eyes.

As they headed back to the truck after eating, Jefferson asked, “Do you want to spend the night at my house tonight? I could take you to school then.”

“Would your mom be okay with that?” Madison asked. He opened the passenger door.

Jefferson got in the driver’s side. “I doubt she’d care.”

“Um, maybe.” Madison buckled his seat. “I have to ask Mom.”

“You’re eighteen, Jem.” Jefferson backed the truck up and headed toward the Estates. 

“Why don’t you just stay the night at Montpelier again,” Madison suggested.

“Have you ever spent the night at my house?” Jefferson glanced his way. “I don’t think you have.”

“I like my bed.” Madison picked at his fingernails.

“You can’t live at home forever, Jem,” Jefferson said. “What happens if we get married?”

“If?” Madison questioned.

“Okay, when,” Jefferson corrected. “We’re not living with your parents.”

“That’s still years away.” Madison went back to studying his fingers. “I like being at home.”

Jefferson braked at a stoplight. “I get that but it’s not going to get easier.”

“It will,” Madison insisted. “I’m just not ready.”

Jefferson rubbed his forehead. “Babe, if you’re not ready to spend the night at my house now, how are you ever going to manage moving in with me? Especially when you won’t be a mere mile from home.”

“Do we have to talk about this now?” Madison asked. He twirled his long hair.

“I want to know what your plan is,” Jefferson said.

Madison stared out the window. “I dunno.”

“Then stay at Monticello tonight.”

Madison took a deep breath. “Okay.”

It went about as well as Jefferson expected even though he tried to keep Madison happy with more ice cream and cookies. But not long after they got in bed, Madison complained that his stomach hurt.

“For real or because you want to go home?” Jefferson asked as he turned on the light.

“Both,” Madison whimpered.

Jefferson cuddled him. “Go to sleep. I’m right here.”

Madison pressed his face into his chest. “I still want to go home.”

“Try to sleep.” Jefferson rubbed his back. He ended up falling sleep but was awakened forty-five minutes later.

“Thomas, my stomach still hurts.”

Jefferson rubbed his eyes and yawned. “Okay.” He rolled out of bed. “Get your stuff.” He grabbed a shirt and shoes.

Madison put on his glasses and picked up his backpack.

Yawning, Jefferson got his car keys and wallet and led the way downstairs. He drove them the mile to Montpelier. 

There, Madison hurried up to his room and got in his bed. 

Jefferson kicked off his shoes and tossed his shirt on the floor. He joined Madison and found him already asleep. “You really are high maintenance,” he murmured and kissed his forehead. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of the story so far? I would love to hear from you!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which all the boys screw up in one way or another.

Clouds covered the sky and the temperature dropped. As they headed toward their debate meeting, Hamilton walked up beside Madison and caught his eye. He looked down at Jefferson’s hand and pointed to himself. 

Madison caught on and stopped so Hamilton could walk beside Jefferson.

Hamilton slipped his hand into Jefferson’s.

Jefferson held on a few seconds and squeezed gently. He froze and dropped Hamilton’s hand. “What the fuck, Alexander?”

Hamilton grinned. “You know you liked it.”

“Ugh, yuck.” Jefferson wiped his hand on his cargo pants. “Don’t ever touch me.”

“That’s not what you said last night.” Hamilton winked.

Jefferson’s lips parted in a snarl. “Say something like that again and you won’t be breathing.”

“Guys.” Madison put his hand against Jefferson’s stomach, not that he could have kept Jefferson back but more as a reminder not to fight. “He’s just teasing you, T.”

Jefferson brushed Madison’s hand off him. “Well, it needs to fucking stop.”

“You like it,” Hamilton insisted.

Jefferson’s eyes narrowed. “No, I don’t, Alexander.”

Hamilton glanced away. “Whatever.”

“Come on,” Madison told them, “we have to meet with Washington. He’s not going to be happy when he finds out why we’re late.”

Jefferson walked ahead and grumbled back, “Not like he would be surprised.”

“Thomas, be nice,” pleaded Madison.

“It’s fine, James,” Hamilton said and laced his fingers together with Madison, a smile playing across his lips. “Keep my hand warm since Thomas won’t.”

They walked hand in hand until they neared the building and Jefferson glanced back.

“James!” He knocked their hands apart. “Don’t.”

Madison’s forehead creased and his lip quivered.

Hamilton frowned and stepped between them. He glared at Jefferson. “If you’re hurting James, I will destroy you.”

Jefferson shoved Hamilton and he stumbled into the bushes near the building. “Don’t insinuate that I would hurt James. I would never lay a hand on him.” He looked at Madison, imploring. “You know that, Jem. You shouldn’t be holding hands with Alexander.”

“Sorry,” Madison murmured. “But you never want to hold my hand.”

The door opened and Burr poked out his head. “You guys coming in or not? Washington is getting annoyed. What happened, Alex?” He let the door close behind him and brushed some leaves off the back of his jacket.

“Jefferson,” Hamilton growled.

Burr looked at Jefferson’s frown, and Madison picking at his fingernails. “Well, get over it and pretend you get along.” He steered Hamilton into the building. Madison and Jefferson followed.

“It’s my fault,” Madison squeaked as he followed them inside.

“What do you mean?” Burr asked while Jefferson said, “No, it’s not.”

Burr glanced between the two of them. “What’s going on?”

“Yeah, Thomas.” Hamilton glared at him. He moved away from Burr and stood toe to toe with Jefferson, making himself look comically short. “What’s your deal? You’re getting a stick up your ass again.”

Jefferson stepped back. “I don’t have to deal with this.” He walked out and let the door slam.

Madison stared at the door, torn.

“What’s going on?” Burr asked.

“Jefferson is a dick to James,” Hamilton seethed.

“No, he’s not!” Madison said, almost yelled. “Alex, he’s not. Don’t say that.” His lip quivered again.

Washington came out of the classroom where they were supposed to be meeting. “What is going on?” He folded his arms. “Where’s Thomas?”

“He left,” Madison said.

“He’s hur—” Hamilton began.

Burr silenced him with a pinch to his arm. “He and Alex got into a fight.”

Washington sighed. “You’re on your own then. Alexander, figure out how you can work with Thomas or you’re off the team.”

Hamilton’s eyes flashed and he stormed closer to Washington. “That’s not fair! Jefferson is the one who started it. You should kick him off the team. You can’t kick me off, Dad!”

“Don’t use that against me, Alexander,” Washington replied in a calm manner. “You stir everyone up. You need to control yourself.”

Hamilton bowed his head and leaned into Washington. “It’s not fair,” he mumbled.

Washington patted his back. “Go apologize to Thomas.”

Hamilton jerked back. “No. This isn’t my fault.”

“I don’t think it is,” Burr said.

“It’s my fault,” Madison insisted. “I can take the blame, you guys. I held Alex’s hand and upset Thomas.”

“I don’t get your relationship with him,” Hamilton said stepping toward the smaller youth. “He’s so controlling over you. Why do you want to be around him?”

Madison’s eyes darted toward Burr and Washington. “He takes care of me. He knows about my health issues. He’s not controlling, Alex.” Tears shimmered in his eyes.

“You keep getting upset over that.” Hamilton touched his arm. “We can help you—”

“It’s because it’s not true!” Madison wailed. “Alex, it’s not! I don’t want people thinking of Thomas like that. I know he can come off as aloof or whatever and not everyone likes him but he’s not mean. He’s just stressed out and it makes him crabby. I love him.” He pressed a hand against his mouth.

“Fine.” Hamilton looked at Washington. “Can I go? I don’t want to be on this stupid team anyway.”

Washington pursed his lips. “You may go. You’re still on the team for now, though.”

“Whatever.” Hamilton smacked into the door as he pushed instead of pulled. He broke into a run as soon as he was outside.

Washington pinched the bridge of his nose. “I feel like I’m in charge of a drama team, not debate. James, are you alright?”

Madison nodded. “I need to find Thomas, though.”

“Go ahead.”

Madison left pulling out his phone.

“Well, Aaron, you want to add yourself to the drama?” Washington asked.

“Oh, I could,” said Burr thinking of Hamilton’s lips on his. “But I’ll try not to.”

“Please, do.”

***

Madison called Jefferson and met him at his truck. He climbed in and turned the heat up as he shivered.

Jefferson rested his head on the steering wheel, eyes closed. “Break up with me, Jem, this is too much,” he mumbled.

“No,” Madison said. “Thomas, we’re doing fine. I’m happy. You’re giving me enough.”

Jefferson kept his head down. “You’d rather be with Alex. I know he wants you.”

“No,” Madison repeated. “Sure, I don’t hate his attention and I’m sorry that I held his hand but it wasn’t romantic. I couldn’t think of him like that. I love you.”

Jefferson looked up and bit his lip. “Really?”

Madison smiled. “How many times have I told you that?”

“I dunno.” Jefferson reached across the console to take his hand. “I just—I worry so much about not being enough for you and I’m so overwhelmed right now. I know you want to have sex. I’m trying, I—”

“Thomas.” Madison pressed a finger against his lips. “Everything is working, except, apparently me since you’re worried. Have I been pushy?”

Jefferson shook his head. “You’re great. You’re amazing, Jem. I want to be amazing for you. I want you to have everything you want. I hate that I can’t—”

“I have everything I want,” Madison interrupted. He climbed over the console into Jefferson’s lap.

Jefferson popped up the steering wheel to give him more room. He rested his chin against Madison’s head.

Madison listened to his heartbeat and played with the buttons on his shirt.

“I love you, too,” Jefferson said.

Madison closed his eyes as Jefferson squeezed him tight. His body relaxed in his boyfriend’s strong arms, safe, content.

***

“What the fuck, Alex?” Laurens exclaimed as their dorm door slammed and rattled the whole room.

“I hate Jefferson!” Hamilton shouted. He stomped up and down the tiny floor space. “He’s a dick. He’s worse than that. Ugh!”

“Okay, Hammy, calm down.” Laurens moved his laptop aside and got off his bed. He grabbed Hamilton by the biceps. “What happened?”

“He’s dating James,” Hamilton said unable to look at Laurens.

“I’m aware.” Laurens moved one hand to touch Hamilton’s chin. “And why is that a crime?”

“James is, like, the sweetest thing ever and Jefferson is a giant douche.” Hamilton turned away from Laurens’ hand. “How could he be attracted to someone like that?”

“Calm your tits, Hammy.”

Hamilton stomped his foot. “Fuck off, Laurens. Agree with me.”

“I’m still confused,” Laurens said. “Do you like James?”

A brief pause. “No.”

Laurens rolled his eyes. “Sure, totes, Ham. You’re never going to have a chance against Jefferson. He and James have known each other forever. Get over it.”

“How?” Hamilton demanded. “If James was with someone decent, maybe I could. But Jefferson is—”

“A douche, yeah, you covered that.” Laurens nudged Hamilton toward his bed. “I thought you guys were getting along better?”

“I thought so, too,” Hamilton admitted. “But Jefferson—”

“Shut up, Hammy,” Laurens commanded.

Hamilton stared at him with a frown. “What?”

“You act like Jefferson is the problem but you’re the one bashing him. If James is as sweet as you say, then I can guarantee that he wouldn’t let Jefferson talk about you that way and I bet Jefferson doesn’t hate you as much as you hate him. Stop acting like you aren’t the problem.”

Hamilton shoved Laurens away. “Why aren’t you on my side?”

“You’re side is dumb, Alex.”

Hamilton seethed. “Jefferson has been a jerk since the begin—”

“You’ve been a jerk to him since the beginning. You took Lafayette’s dare to sit on his lap and never apologized to Jefferson for harassing him. Of course, he was going to retaliate at some point because you keep piling on the abuse. And now you’re in love with his boyfriend, a relationship he is clearly insecure about.”

“That’s not my problem. If he’s not man enough for James—”

“A girl could be man enough for James. How are you attracted to him? You’d rather have him ov—”

“There’s the problem.” Hamilton interrupted this time. “I see it now. You. You never asked me out, John. We’re not dating. How many guys did you fuck over the summer? I have that same right.”

“But James Madison?” Laurens shook his head. “Dude… Although better than Aaron Burr, I suppose.”

Hamilton snarled. “Fuck you, John.” He turned around and reached for the bear Burr had given him last Christmas. He squeezed out his frustrations and tried to find some order in his turbulent mind.

“Please do.” Laurens touched his back. “I never expected monogamy, but I feel like I’m losing you to your debate team, whom you don’t even like. I don’t want to lose you, Alex. I need you. You’re… my stability.”

Hamilton kept his hands on the bear as Laurens hugged him from behind. He closed his eyes at the twitching against his backside. “John…”

“Please, don’t say no,” begged Laurens.

“I don’t know,” Hamilton mumbled.

Laurens kissed his ear and brushed his lips down his neck. “Yes, you do.” He slipped his hand down and cupped Hamilton’s crotch. “It’s been forever. Don’t push me away again in search of something else. Get your frustrations out. Fuck me as hard as you want to hit Jefferson.”

Hamilton turned in Laurens' arms and kissed him. He pulled back half an inch. “Fuck me then, pretty boy.”

 

There were about ten minutes of quiet in the hall after Hamilton and Laurens blew up at each other. Burr caught enough of the words to get the gist that Hamilton had a crush on Madison and Laurens wasn’t having it. He heard his own name mentioned and realized he remained a threat in Laurens’ mind.

Now, the quiet was replaced with the thumps and creak of a bed being subjected to rough sex.

Burr sighed and put in earbuds. He was across the hall and several rooms down. He pitied Hamilton and Laurens’ neighbors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you have a favorite character? I would love to know :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madison has a minor medical crisis but Jefferson and Hamilton come to a mature decision.

Burr, Hamilton, Laurens, and Madison had class together first thing in the morning. While they all took their usual seats near each other, none of them could make eye contact and kept their posture stiff and guarded.

Halfway through class, Madison handed a note to Burr who sat across from him

Burr took the paper and read, _are you mad at me? The atmosphere between everyone is very chilly._ He scribbled a reply and poked the note against Madison’s arm.

_No, didn’t get much sleep. Alex/John were loud and appear regretful now._

Madison read the reply and nodded. He massaged his temples.

Hamilton and Laurens didn’t wait around after class and dispersed to their next engagements. Burr stayed with Madison as he watched him struggle to put his books in his backpack.

“You, alright?” Burr asked.

Madison squinted and pressed a hand against his head. “Migraine.”

“Here.” Burr zipped Madison’s backpack and took it. “I’ll take you to the nurse so you can lie down until your mom can pick you up.”

They made it outside where the sunlight made Madison’s pain intensify. He covered his eyes as his whole head throbbed. His senses skewered and he stumbled into Burr as dizziness struck him.

Burr led him back inside and pulled out his phone to send a text to Jefferson. Not paying attention, he sent the text in the group message they’d started earlier.

Hamilton showed up first. He pulled off his jacket and draped it over Madison’s head to give him more darkness. He rubbed his thumb against the palm of Madison’s hand.

“I thought I texted Thomas,” Burr said in a low voice to try not to aggravate Madison’s migraine more.

“You used the group text,” Hamilton replied. He looked up when the door opened and Jefferson towered over him. Hamilton let go of Madison’s hand and scooted out of the way.

Jefferson knelt on the floor and peaked under the jacket covering his head. “I called your mom,” he whispered and stroked Madison’s cheek. “I can’t miss class.”

Madison’s eyes remained closed tight.

Jefferson glanced at his watch. “I’m presenting. I have to go, Jem.” He stood and looked at Burr. “Can you…”

Burr shook his head. “I’m late, too.”

“I can,” Hamilton said. “It’s just wrestling practice. You guys go.”

Burr hurried out.

Jefferson nodded, out of options. “I’ll call his mom and have her text Jem’s phone when she’s here.”

“Okay,” Hamilton said. “Get to your presentation, T.”

Jefferson closed the door quietly behind him and hurried to his speech class.

Hamilton found Madison’s phone and put it on vibrate. He took Madison’s hand again and found it shaking from pain.

Mrs. Madison texted fifteen minutes later. Madison’s phone wasn’t password protected and Hamilton read her message. He replied where he was and where she could park close by. He scooped Madison up and made sure his head remained covered. The poor kid was lighter than Hamilton expected even as dead weight. Hamilton cut across the grassy area and to the waiting Corvette alongside the curb.

Mrs. Madison got out and opened the door to the backseat. Hamilton lay Madison down and watched him curl into a ball, keeping Hamilton’s jacket over his face.

Mrs. Madison closed the door as carefully as she could. “Thank you, Alexander.”

“No problem.” Hamilton handed her Madison’s backpack and shoved his hands in his pockets.

She got back in the driver’s seat and drove off.

Hamilton remained by the curb even after the car was out of sight. His fantasies of kissing Madison, of saving him and sleeping with him remained vivid in his mind. He should go to Madison’s house tonight. Madison would be grateful for his help, fulfill the stupid idea in his head.

Jefferson wasn’t right for precious Jemmy. He never seemed comfortable with Madison’s genderqueer way of dressing nor anything sexually related. Sure, he protected Madison and loved him, but did he really understand his boyfriend?

Burr and Laurens crowded into Hamilton’s mind and he knew he couldn’t sort out feelings for three people. Besides, he didn’t lust after Madison the same way. He just wanted to protect him and fantasizing about him was safe. But Jefferson did protect him and Hamilton would never be able to match what Jefferson gave him. Now that he _had_ rescued Madison, he realized it was a thankless job. Madison wasn’t going to suddenly take him down and rip off his clothes. He was going to go home and sleep for two days.

Madison wasn’t his to protect. He had to respect Jefferson. Madison deserved that.

***

The next night, Hamilton spotted Jefferson eating dinner alone in his usual booth seat in the cafeteria, a book open in front of him. He headed toward his teammate. “May I sit here?”

Jefferson tossed his backpack onto the bench seat across from him. “Nope.”

Hamilton took a seat at the closest table instead. “Look, T, I want to apologize for everything.” He watched Jefferson from his seat a few feet away.

Jefferson continued eating his chicken sandwich and turned a page in his book.

“I know we got off on the wrong foot,” Hamilton continued. “I was a jerk to you and you had every right to retaliate and hate me. You can keep on hating me, I wouldn’t blame you.” He paused and stared at his own chicken sandwich. “But we need to figure out how we can work together. I don’t want to quit Washington’s team. Together with Aaron and James, I know we can win.”

Jefferson finished chewing and swallowed. “Okay.”

Hamilton looked up, eyes wide. “Really?”

“If you promise to stop aggravating me.” Jefferson glanced at him.

“I’ll stop, I promise,” Hamilton said. “Although, sometimes I’m not sure what will piss you off. I can’t, like, turn off who I am entirely.”

Jefferson nodded. “Noted and accepted. No more pictures, ever.”

“I promise.”

Jefferson pointed to the seat across from him.

Hamilton got up at once and set his plate on the table. He pushed Jefferson’s backpack across the bench. “How is James? I didn’t see him today.”

Jefferson took a drink of water. “He stayed home to recover.”

Hamilton looked at his still-untouched meal. “Can we...can we talk about him?”

When Jefferson didn’t respond, Hamilton continued.

“I know I’ve crossed a line before. I never meant to. He’s adorable and I want to protect him, but I know that’s your job.”

“James enjoys your company,” Jefferson said.

Hamilton leaned forward, waiting for more, but that was it. He poked at his sandwich. “Like, should I talk to James?”

“Why?” Jefferson asked.

Hamilton met his eyes. “So he can put me in my place. I don’t want to make him uncomfortable or make you angry.”

Jefferson set his last bite of the sandwich down and sighed. “You’re fine, Alexander. You’ve never crossed a line, just myself; otherwise, Jem would have let you know. He’s affectionate with his friends. I’m more concerned that he’s made you uncomfortable. I’m working on my own insecurities and I’ll look to Jem to know if I ought to say something or not.”

“Okay.” Hamilton pushed his plate toward him. “Do you want this?”

Jefferson took the plate and handed over his bowl of tater tots. “I got the last of them.”

“Thanks.” Hamilton popped one in his mouth. “So, I think our debate styles are kind of similar. Um…”

“I agree,” Jefferson said and bit into his second sandwich. “You could use fewer words, though.”

“I prefer to confuse people with my voice,” Hamilton said with a grin.

“Oh, it works.” Jefferson hid his own smile behind his sandwich.

They ate in silence for a few minutes before Hamilton reached for Jefferson’s book. “What’re you reading?”

“Revolutionary War,” Jefferson said.

“For history class?”

“No, for fun.”

Hamilton stared at him. “Dude, you’re so weird. This is like a six-hundred-page book. Why would you torture yourself?”

“I know you like to read, too,” Jefferson said.

Hamilton rolled his eyes. “Fine. So, um, why did you switch halls?”

Jefferson finished his food before he answered. “I always planned to switch. My father went to this college and the dorm I’m in now is where he stayed. It’s now only a junior and senior’s hall so I had already been set up to move.”

“I see.” Hamilton paused. “I had wondered if it had been because of me.”

“Well, you definitely had made me gladder to move.”

“Sorry.”

Jefferson shrugged. “Let’s put it behind us.”

“Deal.” Hamilton held out his hand.

Jefferson gave a bemused smile thinking of the first time Hamilton had tried to introduce himself, which had led to all this. He shook Hamilton’s hand.

From across the cafeteria, Laurens, Lafayette, Lee, and Mulligan watched the scene unfold.

“We’re screwed,” Laurens said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think of Jefferson and Hamilton finally making amends?


	14. Chapter 14

"So, are you and Jefferson friends now?" Laurens asked later that night, as they got ready for bed.

"Not enemies at least," Hamilton said. "Why?"

"Saw you guys having dinner together." Laurens pulled off his shirt.

"We have to learn to get along." Hamilton shrugged. "Debates start soon."

"What about all the names you called him the other day? He's still the same person. He's still dating your precious James."

"Shut up, Laurens," Hamilton commanded. "I was pissed. I thought about it and made a mature decision." He looked at Laurens. "I know you want to win debates, too, and I'm not going to fall for you trying to badger me and make me hate Jefferson again."

"Whatever." Laurens dropped his jeans. "Where're you sleeping?"

"In my bed?" Hamilton frowned. "I'm not in the mood, John."

"Come on, Hammy," Laurens wheedled and reached out a hand to caress his chest.

Hamilton stopped his hand. "No."

Laurens huffed. "Fine." He got on his own bed and sprawled out in front of his laptop. "There's a party Saturday night, want to go?"

"Sure." Hamilton undressed and got into bed. He grabbed a book and cuddled the stuffed bear from Burr.

Hamilton slept late on Saturday. Laurens was already up and gone. He showered, dressed, and went to see if Burr was around. While he wanted nothing more than to know why Burr vanished, he knew asking would only push the friendship he wanted back further away.

Burr rolled out of bed at the knock on his door. He'd been awake for the past half hour but enjoyed lying in bed. He opened the door. "Alex."

"Morning," Hamilton said. "Have you eaten yet?"

Burr rubbed his eyes. "Does it look like I've left my dorm?"

Hamilton grinned. "Nope. Want to go grab a donut?"

"Sure." Burr stopped a yawn. "Give me fifteen minutes."

Hamilton waited in the common area and browsed his phone. When Burr was ready, they walked to a nearby donut shop. The temperature had gone up again, for which Hamilton was grateful.

They ordered donuts. Hamilton got coffee, and Burr chose milk. As they sat at a corner table, Hamilton received a text from Laurens.

_What're you wearing tonight?_

Hamilton frowned.

"What is it?" Burr asked.

"I'm going to a party with John tonight," Hamilton said. "He asked what I'm wearing. Um, like, what I always do?" He texted that response.

_Hell, no!_ Laurens replied.  _Don't you want to get laid?_

_I suppose._

_If you want to pick up a guy, wear your skinny jeans and a tight shirt. If you want a girl, don't wear skinny jeans and wear a shirt you can roll the sleeves up over your forearms._

Hamilton shook his head and let Burr read the messages. "Want to come to the party, too?"

"Maybe..." Burr pushed the phone back. "What're you going to do?"

"Probably just drink."

"I'm in."

Hamilton chuckled. "Awesome." He texted Laurens that Burr wanted to come, too.

"So, what're you going to wear?" Burr asked and sipped his milk.

"No idea. John makes it sound so complicated." Hamilton finished his donut.

"Are you going to hook up?"

"Maybe."

They finished their drinks and headed back to campus. Hamilton grabbed his laptop and a book from his dorm and went to the library. Burr returned to his room and took a nap.

Around seven, Hamilton browsed through his clothes to decide what to wear to the party. His stomach growled since the only other thing he'd eaten all day was a banana. He wanted a quick buzz as soon as he got to the party. He threw a pair of bootcut jeans on his bed and a navy and red checked button-down shirt. He didn't want to push any potential guy away but he also thought Laurens' suggestions were dumb and he wanted to look nice.

Down the hall, Burr had also avoided eating much and browsed through his meager wardrobe. The only nice shirt he owned was his college interview shirt and he was not going to risk ruining it. He grabbed a decent-looking half-zip pullover and wore it over a t-shirt with dark jeans.

He met Hamilton in the common area and they walked together to Lee's van in the parking lot.

Laurens got out and grinned at them. He wore skinny jeans and a tight t-shirt. "Going straight tonight, I see."

"The fuck, John," Hamilton complained. "Where's the party at anyway?"

"Downtown."

Everyone loaded up and Lee drove to a stately brick home. Burr guessed some rich college kids parents were out of town. If the kid was rich, though, the alcohol might be decent.

Music blared and college-aged kids mingled through the front rooms of the house.

"Let's get drinks," Laurens said and pulled Hamilton further into the house. Burr followed close behind. Lee already vanished to do his own thing.

Drink in hand; Laurens wandered off to find someone to chat to. Hamilton and Burr watched the chaos and downed their rum and coke.

"Well..." Hamilton mumbled as he caught the eye of a girl in a red dress.

"I just want to drink," Burr said.

Hamilton drained his glass. "Vodka?"

"Yes."

Hamilton got them vodka and pineapple juice and they mingled into the crowd. Both were buzzed within a half hour.

Burr chatted with some classmates while Hamilton sought out the girl in the red dress.

She raised her glass to him. "MariA Reynolds."

"Alexander Hamilton. I haven't seen you around before."

"You must not get out much," Maria said. "We're in the same dorm."

"Huh. What're you studying?"

"Nursing." She pointed to a girl with long curly hair chatting to Burr. "That's my roommate Eliza. I see she's found your friend." Mariah took his arm and led him over.

Burr grinned at Hamilton.

"Eliza, this is ."

Eliza smiled at him. "It's nice to meet you. I think you know my sister, Angelica."

Hamilton almost cringed. Angelica was also a friend of Jefferson's and not terribly fond of him. "Yeah. You both freshman?"

"Yup," Maria said and took his hand. "Want a refill?"

"Sure."

The four made their way towards the makeshift bar. Maria poured three tequila shots as Eliza declined.

"Cheers, boys," Maria said.

They tapped glasses and swallowed.

"I love the burn," Burr gushed, his pupils dilated almost enough to hide the hazel. "Do you want to dance, Eliza?"

"Sure."

"What about you?" Maria asked Hamilton.

"I can think of better things to do with my time," Hamilton replied. His already florid coloring reddened to the point of matching his hair.

Maria led him away from the noisiest rooms and shoved Hamilton against a wall.

Hamilton closed his eyes as her mouth covered his and a hand squeezed his butt. He cupped her large breasts and pulled his mouth away to trail kisses over her ample cleavage.

Another round of shots soon followed along with more vodka. The night turned into a blur and Hamilton didn't know whose mouth his was on half the time.

Burr had a vague recollection of discussing returning to campus and getting in a vehicle. He didn't remember who drove, only that someone threw up in the car at one point.

The next thing he knew was Eliza screaming. His body hit the tile floor of a dorm room with a thump and bile burned his throat.

Burr couldn't roll over. Alcohol still numbed his body and his head throbbed and grew heavier. Squinting, he knew it must be morning as faint light filtered through the room. He'd returned to campus without dying at least. What had all happened? Shit, was he naked? His senses were skewered and he couldn't tell without looking but it hurt so damn much to move. How much time had passed since he'd landed on the floor?

"Calm down, Eliza," grumbled another girl.

Was it Maria? Burr wondered. If so, did that mean Hamilton was in the room, too?

"What happened?" Eliza demanded.

Burr couldn't tell if she spoke to him or the other girl. He had to move.

With shaking arms, Burr pushed himself up and was relieved to find himself still dressed. At least his first time wasn't lost in a drunken haze. He managed to turn over and face the girls. They both remained on their beds. Eliza glared down at him-also dressed-while Mariah watched him with a bemused smile and wore Hamilton's undershirt. Next to her on the twin-size bed, Hamilton remained asleep on his stomach with a sheet covering a quarter of his naked body.

"I would like to know what happened, too," Burr mumbled. He rubbed his eyes and wished for a painkiller or another drink.

"Eliza's sister was our DD," Maria said. "I have no idea what time she brought us back. You boys were insistent on retiring to our dorm with us, and, well, I wasn't going to say no to this one." She stroked Hamilton's back.

Drool spilled out of Hamilton's partly open mouth.

Burr looked at Eliza. "I'm sorry."

"I was just as drunk," Eliza said. "I still have underwear on so I'm going to take that as a good sign."

Maria rolled her eyes. "Babies."

Burr staggered to his feet and grabbed the nearest bedpost and jostled Maria's bed.

Hamilton snorted in his sleep and woke himself. "Fuck," he muttered.

"Good morning, babe," Maria told him.

He squinted and saw Burr. "Dude..."

"We did not have sex," Burr assured him and pointed to Maria.

Hamilton managed to roll over and pulled the sheet to keep covered. He looked at Maria. "I don't remember your name, although I don't remember my own right now either." He wiped the drool off his face.

"I'll let you suffer," she told him with a smile and ran a hand through his messy hair.

Hamilton's gaze moved to her chest, pressed tight in his undershirt and her nipples visible. "Maria."

"Good job."

"Time to go," Burr told him. He attempted to pick up Hamilton's clothes off the floor but only managed to bend a quarter of the way before his stomach clenched and churned. He pressed a hand against his mouth.

"Don't hurt yourself, Aaron," Hamilton teased.

"Here." Eliza handed Hamilton his jeans. "I'm not touching your underwear."

"I wouldn't either," Hamilton said. He slipped the jeans on under the sheet and got off the bed. He collected the rest of his clothes except the undershirt. "See you around, ladies." He winked and prodded Burr towards the door.

"How are you-" Burr began before Hamilton started retching and clutched his stomach.

"I'm dying."

"Faking," said Burr. "That was good."

"I need to puke." Hamilton's face turned pale and sweaty.

Burr hurried him down the hall towards the common area. The boy's wing was on the other side. 

Hamilton rushed to the bathroom and puked in the first stall.

The gagging and splashing turned Burr's stomach and he threw up as well. It was a while before they could drag themselves to their dorms.


	15. Chapter 15

Jefferson had a wide grin on his face when he saw Hamilton on Monday before class.

Hamilton grimaced. "What?"

"You know Angelica is my friend, right? She and Eliza tell each other everything."

"Oh, God." Hamilton ran a hand down his face. "Burr was there, too."

"Burr wasn't the one who had sex with Maria Reynolds," Jefferson said loudly.

"Keep your voice down," Hamilton hissed and stepped back. He glanced at the students walking passed them in the hall and heading into classrooms.

"I didn't know you were bi, Alex." Jefferson moved Hamilton out of the way of some basketball players before they trampled him.

Hamilton glanced up at Jefferson. "You thought I was gay?"

Jefferson nodded.

"Does that change your opinion of me?" questioned Hamilton.

"No, why would it?"

"Cause I play for both teams." Hamilton shrugged. "Some people don't get it."

"Trust me, I do." Jefferson headed into class.

Hamilton followed and took a seat behind him. "Do you know anything about Maria?" he whispered.

"No." Jefferson turned to sit sideways. "She didn't go to our high school. Angelica's sister has only known her since term began. How was she?"

Hamilton lowered his voice, "Like in bed?"

Jefferson rubbed his neck. "Yeah."

"I was so wasted that I don't even remember. She could actually be lying that we slept together. I just know I woke up naked."

Jefferson shook his head. "I don't think I will ever understand that. I don't care if other people can and want to sleep around, but..."

Hamilton chuckled. "You've already been with James too long," he teased. "You need to get out more. There will be another party on Saturday. Come with me. I will keep you from sleeping with anyone, but have a few drinks."

Jefferson chewed on his lip. "Okay." He faced forward as their teacher entered.

***

Burr declined to go to a second party, claiming he had barely recovered from the first. Jefferson met Hamilton at his dorm and they headed to Lee's van.

Laurens raised an eyebrow. "Thomas Jefferson is going to go to a college party? Is the world ending, Alexander?"

"Shut up, John," Hamilton said. "Be nice."

Laurens moved in close to Hamilton and whispered, "You hated him, like, a week ago. Now you're best buds? What're you playing at?"

Hamilton backed away. "Just trying to grow up."

Laurens drew in close again and purred in Hamilton's ear. "Sleep with him. He's got a nice body. I bet he's good in bed."

Hamilton shook his head. "I really doubt that." He hurried into the van and sat next to Jefferson.

The party was at a different rich kid's house this time.

Hamilton was quick to get him and Jefferson drinks. Laurens left them alone and found a cute guy to chat with.

Jefferson glanced around at the crowd as he sipped his mixed drink. It was sweet and it didn't take long for him to finish.

Hamilton gave him another. "There's Maria." He pointed across the room. "Should I talk to her?"

"How would I know?" Jefferson said. He spotted Angelica walking towards Maria. "But I suppose."

Hamilton weaved his way through the crowd. "Hi."

Maria smiled at him. Her hair was done up in a messy bun and she wore red lipstick to match a different low cut red dress. "Ready for round two, Alexander?" she said in a sultry voice, eyes locked on him.

Hamilton's pupils were dilated and his voice came out low, out of breath, "More than you can know."

Angelica broke the staring contest. "Whoops, sorry," she said stepping on Hamilton's foot as she made her way closer to Jefferson. "What're you doing here, T? Please tell me you didn't bring James."

"No, he's not here," said Jefferson. "Alex invited me."

"I thought you hated him?" Angelica questioned. "Remember what he did to you the last time you got drunk?"

Jefferson's lips tightened. "I've been drunk a lot since then," he admitted. "And I'd rather not. We're doing okay, Angelica. Our first debate is this week. I think we have a shot."

"Alright, if you know what you're doing. What're you drinking?"

"Not sure." Jefferson offered her a taste.

"I think that's tequila," she said. "I'd slow down, T. You probably shouldn't be drinking anyway. You can be a lush."

Jefferson shrugged. "I'll be fine." He indicated to Hamilton and Maria retreating. "Where're they going?"

"You don't want to know. Hang out with Eliza and me." She grabbed his hand and dragged him over to the couch where Eliza sat. Angelica shooed the boy she was talking to away.

"Sure, Angelica," Eliza grumbled, "you bring over a gay guy and send away the straight one."

"You're going to behave yourself this time," Angelica chided.

Jefferson sat next to Angelica and finished his drink. The room seemed darker than it had and everything looked a little fuzzy. A pleasant fogginess settled in his head and the music sounded really good. "Want to dance, Angelica?"

Angelica glanced at her sister. "I can't leave Eliza."

"Oh, go on," Eliza said. "I'm not drunk and even when I was drunk I did not sleep with that guy. You can trust me."

Angelica sighed. "Alright."

Jefferson stood and took her hand.

"How drunk are you," Angelica murmured.

"I've had three drinks," Jefferson replied and spun Angelica around.

Angelica cringed. "Those were really strong. You don't hold your liquor well."

"Doesntmatter," he slurred.

Angelica couldn't tell if he said, "doesn't matter" or "does it matter." She didn't have a response either way.

Hamilton turned up on the dance floor disheveled and grinning. "Having fun, Thomas?"

"Tolerable," Jefferson said.

Hamilton grabbed his arm. "I found someone for you. Come on."

"You said—" Jefferson began.

"Come on." Hamilton pulled him.

Angelica grimaced. "Thomas, don't."

Jefferson followed Hamilton anyway.

Hamilton pointed out a tall man with short brown hair and the perfect amount of scruff on his face. "His name is Ben," he said. "He's a senior, working on his business degree."

"Alex, I'm not looking—" Jefferson's words fell short when the young man looked his way and smiled. Sober, he would have merely smiled back and went on his way. Drunk, his brain turned off its usual function and resorted solely to physical desire. Turned off his inhibition and gave him human weaknesses.

The man stepped closer. "Ben Tallmadge."

"Thomas," he mumbled.

"Your friend said you're studying to be a lawyer. Let me get you another drink."

Jefferson followed Tallmadge and soon found himself sputtering down a shot of whiskey. He stared at Tallmadge's lips as he spoke and wondered... But even drunk, he couldn't imagine himself sleeping with this stranger. Having a boyfriend already didn't even figure into his mind just the fact that he didn't see the point.

While he enjoyed talking and staring at Tallmadge, he didn't protest when Angelica found him and told him it was time to go.

He woke with a splitting headache to the sound of a text message. It took a minute before his eyes could focus on the screen and read what Hamilton's wrote.

_Did you hook up with Ben? I was too wasted to notice last night._

_No_ , Jefferson replied.

_Dude, what is wrong with you?_

_I have James._ Jefferson sighed. What was wrong with him? He didn't even want to sleep with Madison. He pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. He should have slept with Ben Tallmadge, maybe it was just fear, not asexuality, and if he did it once, he'd be cured. No, that was dumb. If he wanted to have sex, it would be with Madison. He could go to Montpelier now, throw Madison down on his bed, fuck him...

Jefferson closed his eyes at how unpleasant that sounded. He was too hungover to drive anyway.

He glanced across the room at his roommate still asleep. He called his name. Not getting a response, he checked to make sure the curtains were closed. Satisfied he had as much privacy as he was going to get, he moved his hand into his underwear. He'd never tried masturbating before, never seeing a point or craving it.

A few things entertained him and he tried to focus his mind on those while his fingers gripped his organ and his palm rubbed hard. But the only thing his mind could really focus on was  _be normal._

He stopped after two minutes. He remembered making out with Madison once at Montpelier and almost getting caught. It was the most excited he'd gotten. Something about either being caught or it being forbidden had been a turn on. Jefferson glanced again at his roommate. Maybe if there was more risk of him seeing.

Jefferson pushed his pants and underwear down under his blankets. He grabbed his phone to play some music; see if that woke his roommate from slumber. But as he looked for a song, he grew bored. He didn't want this. It was pointless. He adjusted his clothes and headed to the bathroom. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Comments are always appreciated. If you enjoy the story, please let me know!*


	16. Chapter 16

Hamilton glanced over at Laurens doing his homework. He gave an exaggerated sigh.

“What?” Laurens asked without looking up.

“I’m bored.” He stretched out on his bed. “Make out with me.”

“Can’t.” Laurens struggled to keep his eyes on his book.

“Come on.” Hamilton pulled off his shirt and threw it at Laurens.

Laurens tossed his book aside and jumped on Hamilton’s bed. He covered Hamilton with kisses until their mouths met and sloppy, suckling noises filled the room.

Hamilton rolled him over and moaned as Laurens dug his nails into his back.

The door opened suddenly and Laurens struggled to push away at the sight of Bree—hand over her mouth—in the doorway.

“Alexander!” exclaimed Angelica as she came into view behind Bree.

Hamilton rolled off the bed and dumped Laurens to the floor. “Fuck!” His ears and neck reddened as he spotted Bree. “Shit, sorry.”

“Stop cussing,” Angelical scolded. She rested a hand on Bree’s shoulder. “Sorry, love, I should have opened the door for you.”

Laurens’ groan drowned out Bree’s response. “You kicked me in the nuts, Alex.” He struggled to get off the floor.

“Stop complaining.” Hamilton forced a smile at his foster sister. “Um, hey, Bree. Didn’t know you were stopping by.” He glanced around for his shirt.

“Yeah, sorry.” Bree examined her fingernails. “I didn’t want to go with Mom to the yarn store so she dropped me off. I texted you.”

“Oh.” Hamilton dug his phone out of his backpack and saw the three messages she sent him. “Sorry.”

“Put a shirt on, Alexander,” Angelica said. “John, quit being a baby and get off the floor.”

“You don’t know how much it hurts,” Laurens complained.

“Try having your uterus clench itself into an angry fist every month.” Angelica rested a hand on her hip. “I’m taking Bree out for ice cream. Get yourself together, Alexander.”

The door closed and Laurens groaned again. “My balls are going to have to descend again.”

“I didn’t kick you that hard.” Hamilton pulled him up. “I’ll make it better.”

A smile lit up Laurens’ face. “Okay.”

Hamilton slipped his hands up Laurens’ shirt. “Why are you so addicted to sex?” he teased and rubbed his friend’s nipples.

Laurens pushed his hands away. “You know what? I’m good.” He retreated to his bed and picked up his book.

“What the fuck, John?” Hamilton frowned. “When have you not been able to take a joke?”

Laurens ignored him and turned away.

“John Laurens, look at me.” Hamilton moved to the other side of the bed.

Laurens scooted to turn away.

Hamilton climbed on the bed and pinned Laurens down. “What’s wrong? If I can’t fix it, Dad probably can. Tell me.”

“You’ll think less of me,” Laurens mumbled. He kept his head turned away from his friend’s piercing gaze.

“Doubtful.” He thought to tease him, mention that his opinion was already rock bottom but realized now was not a good time.

“So, I’ve been modeling…” Laurens tugged at his ear.

“I know.” Hamilton stroked Laurens’ chest to comfort him.

“And, um, like I need the money.”

“I know,” he repeated.

“Well, um, like—” Laurens closed his eyes “I get more if I model nude.”

“Jack—”

“And I’ve gotten other offers,” he finished in a rush and met Hamilton’s eyes. “I don’t hate it, Alex, but I’m scared I’m getting in over my head.”

Hamilton moved off Laurens and pulled him upright. “I thought the agency you were modeling for was respectable?”

Laurens nodded. “The pictures are tasteful, it’s not porn, it’s art. But because it’s out there, I’ve gotten other offers that are more risqué.”

“Don’t do it, John.” Hamilton clutched his arm. “Please, don’t. I’ve known kids—”

“I’m aware.” Laurens shrugged him off. “You have a whole litany of foster horror stories of kids getting into prostitution and drugs and shit. I’m not one of those kids, Alex.”

“But you’re scared.” Hamilton watched his face. “We can talk to Dad. He can help you out if it’s money—”

“He’s already co-signed on a loan for me.” Laurens swallowed. “I don’t want to default on the payments. I need your blessing.”

“To do what exactly?” Hamilton continued to search Laurens’ face.

“To be a stripper.”

Hamilton cringed. “No, Jack. I know it’s not, like, the worst thing in the world and you would, actually, be really good at it but you could do so much more. You don’t need to put yourself out there like that. Dad would not allow you—”

“Washington is not my dad, Alexander,” Laurens snapped. “You got lucky, alright? You got George Washington to be your daddy and make your life amazing. I got a homophobic shit for a father. I have to do what I have to do to be better than him. I’m going to graduate college but I need to not to end up with hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt. Do I have your blessing or not?”

Hamilton’s indigo eyes filled with a deep sorrow. “No, John, you don’t.”

“Then fuck off.”

***

It was time for the first practice debate between the four teams.

Washington studied his group and found his heart sinking at their chances.

Madison was already in tears while Jefferson didn’t seem to be conscious and guzzled down coffee. Burr looked no less alert and kept picking at a hole in his jeans making it bigger. Hamilton was nowhere in sight.

Team Mulligan was their biggest rival and the four boys watched with satisfied smirks to see their friends already a mess.

“Where is Alexander?” Washington asked his team.

Jefferson and Burr shrugged.

Washington grumbled in his throat. “You boys need to start taking this seriously,” he snapped. He pulled out his phone and called his son. “Where are you?”

“I don’t want to debate,” Hamilton mumbled on the other line.

“Where are you?”

“Dad, I’m not going to debate.”

“Alexander,” Washington growled. “Get your ass down here right now.” He hung up and pressed a hand against his forehead.

Hamilton arrived with a minute to spare and glared at Washington. “Happy?”

“What were you trying to do, boy?” Washington demanded.

“Don’t yell at me!” He rubbed at his eyes.

“Alexander.” Washington reached for his arm.

Hamilton slapped it away.

Washington caught hold of him anyway and dragged him away from the unfocused team. “Did you take your medication today?” he asked in a low voice.

“It doesn’t matter!” Hamilton wailed. “Everything is fucked up. Why do I even try?”

Washington gripped Hamilton’s hands in his and pressed them to his lips. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. That was uncalled for. You need to take your meds; you’ve been doing amazing on them. Don’t destroy your progress.”

“I want to go home,” Hamilton whispered.

Washington stroked his hair and cringed as teams were being announced. Somehow, he would need to get his boys on stage in a minute and not become the laughing stock of the school with half his team in tears.

“Alex, love.” He kissed his forehead. “Be brave and don’t let Daddy down, okay?”

“I just want to go home.” Hamilton wiped away a tear.

Washington steered him back to the group as their names were announced. He looked to Jefferson as the oldest to have his shit together and he did manage to rouse Burr and stop Madison’s tears. He shot Washington a questioning look, though, at Hamilton’s sorry state.

“No meds,” Washington mouthed.

“Shit,” Jefferson muttered. He pushed Burr and Madison ahead of him up the stairs to the stage. He grabbed Hamilton’s wrist. “Hey, buckaroo, cowboy up or some shit. We’re not losing this year.”

“You’re dumb,” Hamilton mumbled.

“Prove otherwise.” He lifted Hamilton onto the second step to the stage and gave him little choice but to continue.

Washington twisted his hands together. If just getting them on stage was that much of a battle, how bad would the rest of the debate go?

 

They didn’t lose; Washington tried to find the positives two hours later as he drove an inconsolable Hamilton home. Madison had only cried for half the debate. Jefferson’s exhausted, expletive-laden speeches had been entertaining and Hamilton had managed to hold himself together on stage. Burr had kept his head and learned how to do everyone’s job while under pressure. It was progress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Copy & paste "Kudos!"


	17. Chapter 17

Madison shook his boyfriend awake. As usual, Jefferson spent Friday night at Montpelier. The debate had exhausted them and it was now almost eleven in the morning.

“What?” Jefferson rolled onto his back and pushed the blankets down to his waist.

“Thomas, look.”

Jefferson’s eyes popped open at the tearful panic in Madison’s voice. He sat up and took his boyfriend’s phone. He shook his head. “No.” He dropped the phone and got out of bed. “No.”

Madison clutched his baby blanket to his face. “What do I do?”

“You fucking block him, again, Jem.” Jefferson dug his nails into his arm. He couldn’t deal with this again. Jonathan Adams could not reenter their lives.

It wasn’t even a full year ago that Adams had cornered Madison in a bathroom at high school and almost succeeded in assaulting him. Madison had worn a skirt that day and Adams was hell-bent on making him pay for being queer.

Madison had ended up with a concussion and Jefferson had drank himself into an oblivion that resulted in himself assaulting Adams—although he could remember none of it. Lots of drinking, pain and a breakup had followed.

“You’re making yourself bleed, T.”

Jefferson let go of his own arm and stared at the crusted half-moons in his flesh. Last time he had made the assault about himself, his failure. He would protect Madison better this time. He picked up Madison’s phone and blocked Adams on Facebook and checked the rest of his boyfriend’s favorite apps. He found friend requests on two others and blocked him on both.

“He can’t touch you, Jemmy.” Jefferson pulled Madison into his arms. “He’s just trying to scare you. He won’t come near you, I promise.”

***

Washington stretched out his aching back and wondered why he’d never gotten Hamilton a memory foam mattress since he ended up sleeping in his room so often. Through his son’s tears, he had figured out the problem was Laurens but hadn’t gotten a more coherent answer.

He joined his wife and Bree downstairs and poured a cup of coffee.

“Is he alright?” Mrs. Washington asked.

“He will be,” Washington assured. He sat at the kitchen table and praised Bree’s drawing. She was quite talented in the arts: drawing and singing. Her doodles covered the fridge, most of them of the dogs.

A half hour later, Hamilton thumped down the stairs and set the dogs barking. He assured them that there was no threat and dropped into a chair in the kitchen. “I feel like hell.”

“You look like hell,” Bree commented.

“Bite me.” Hamilton tried to run a hand through his hair and met countless tangles.

“Kids,” Washington interrupted. “Alexander, go put on a shirt.”

“Too far,” Hamilton griped. He rested his head on the kitchen table. “Why do I feel like shit?”

“Language,” Mrs. Washington chided from the other room.

“Because you’re off your schedule for your meds,” Washington said. “You’ll feel better tomorrow.”

“I don’t even remember what happened.”

“You don’t remember the debate?” Washington’s brow creased.

“No.” Hamilton glanced up. “Did we lose?”

“Third out of four teams.” Washington stood. “I want to talk to you.”

Hamilton followed him down the hall to his office.

On the way, Washington grabbed a clean shirt out of the laundry room and handed it to him.

“This is yours,” Hamilton said as he unfolded it.

“We have a young lady in the house,” Washington said. “You need to be decent.”

Hamilton slipped the t-shirt on, his slender, short frame swallowed in fabric. He rolled his eyes. “I look stupid.”

“Sit.” Washington pointed to the suede armchairs in the corner of his office.

Hamilton curled up on one and ran his hand against the fabric. “John wants to be a stripper,” he began. “I told him no and he told me to fuck off. I freaked out because that’s what used to happen when he was jealous of Aaron. I don’t want to go through the fighting with John again. I don’t want to go through any of that shit again.”

Washington tapped a finger against his lips in thought. “Do you know what strip club?”

“He’s not even twenty-one, Dad.” Hamilton frowned. “Why—”

Washington stopped him. “I want to know so I can drag his ass out. Modeling is one thing, even nude, but I’m not letting my boy be a stripper. Do you know where?”

“No.” He licked his lips. “He’s stubborn. He’s not going to listen.”

“I’ll make him.” He got up and retrieved his phone off his desk. He called Laurens, surprised that he actually answered.

“Alexander told you everything, didn’t he?” Laurens said after a subdued greeting.

“Yes,” Washington said. “Are you that short on cash, John? I can help with your payments until you find a better job.”

“You’re not my father.”

“If I was, your education would be paid for without you having to work,” Washington said. “I’m trying to help you succeed. Don’t fight me on this.”

“And don’t fight me on the strip club,” Laurens shot back. “Do you know how much I’ve made?”

“Made?” Washington closed his eyes. “You’re not twenty-one, John. Not even twenty.”

“Sir, butt out.” Laurens hung up.

Washington scrolled through his contact list and called Lafayette.

His other foster son picked up on the last ring. “It’s Saturday, Dad,” Lafayette grumbled and yawned. “What did Alexander do?”

“Good morning to you, too,” Washington replied. “It’s John, not your brother. Do you know what strip club he’s working at?”

“Why would I know?”

“Do you know or not, Laf?”

“One sec,” Lafayette grumbled. He spoke to someone else in the room and told Washington, “Possibly the one downtown near his aunt’s house.”

“Stroker’s?” Washington asked.

“I’m concerned that you know the name, Dad,” Lafayette half-teased. “Yes, possibly that one.”

“Thank you. Say hello to Adrienne for me.” Washington hung up and turned to Hamilton.

“Are you going to take me to a strip club?” asked Hamilton a smile fighting his face.

“Don’t tell your mother.”

 

Washington parked in front of the strip club that night. “Going to lose my fostering license,” he muttered as he and Hamilton got out of the car. “Do you have your ID?”

Hamilton pulled out his fake ID that said he was twenty-two.

“We are not drinking anything,” he reminded and commanded his son. “We’re just here for John.”

Hamilton grinned.

They were let in without trouble and sat at the bar. Hamilton’s eyes roved around the dark establishment while Washington muttered at him not to make eye contact with anyone.

Hamilton did anyway and a cute guy smiled at him.

The guy approached. “Can I buy you a drink?”

“No, you cannot,” Washington told him with a glare.

Hamilton gave a strained smile as the young man retreated. “Dad,” he whined.

“You’re nineteen,” Washington hissed. “Keep it in your pants.”

“Jesus.” Hamilton’s cheeks flushed and he began to hope this would be over soon.

About twenty minutes later, Washington spotted Laurens going up on stage. He told Hamilton to stay and moved closer.

At once, the young man returned and sat next to Hamilton. “That your daddy?” he indicated toward Washington talking to Laurens.

“Yeah,” Hamilton said without thinking about the alternate interpretation.

“Looks like he’s on the prowl for another boy. Let me buy you that drink.”

“Oh, um, no thanks.” Hamilton slipped off the stool and hurried toward Washington.

Washington glanced at him. “I told you to wait.”

“I was getting hit on,” Hamilton said. “Hey, John.”

“You guys need to butt out of my life,” Laurens snapped. “You’re costing me money right now.”

“I let you go once, John,” Washington said. “I’m not leaving without you this time.” The second he reached toward Laurens, a bouncer was on him and shoved Washington back.

“You need to leave,” he commanded.

“I know him,” Washington tried to explain.

“Dad,” Hamilton tugged at his sleeve. “Don’t get us arrested.”

Washington grumbled in the back of his throat but allowed the bouncer to escort them out. They got in the Cadillac.

“Got kicked out of a club with my dad,” Hamilton said sarcastically, “great night.”

“Hush,” Washington said. “We’ll wait until John gets off work.”

“That could be like three in the morning.” Hamilton stopped a yawn. “I don’t think John is in any trouble. Maybe we should just let this go.”

“He told you he was scared, Alex.” Washington checked his phone. “You can take a nap.”

Hamilton fell asleep but Washington remained alert and a few minutes after two, spotted Laurens walking out with another young man.

Washington got out of the car. “John.”

Laurens sighed and approached him. “I made four hundred dollars tonight,” he said. “Try and convince me that it’s not worth it.”

“How are you going to manage school if you’re working so late?” Washington asked.

“I’m only working a few nights.” Laurens brushed his hair back. “I know you want better for me but if you can’t accept this then don’t talk to me again. The same goes for Alexander.”

Washington’s shoulder dropped. Shut up or lose his honorary son. “You’d still make a very good lawyer, John, but you’re a good businessman, too.” Washington patted his shoulder. “I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Thank you.”

Washington returned to the Cadillac where Hamilton sleepily asked, “What’d he say?”

“Drop it or drop him.” Washington started the car. “I told him we wouldn’t discuss it further.”

“Good.” Hamilton closed his eyes. “I don’t want to lose him and he’s really hot.” He fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	18. Chapter 18

Hamilton spotted Jefferson eating dinner alone on Saturday night and headed toward him. “Not seeing James this weekend?” he asked.

“He has a cold,” Jefferson replied.

Hamilton sat across from him. “Want to watch a movie tonight?”

“Sure.” Jefferson stabbed at his salad. “I have one homework assignment to finish first.”

“Text me when you’re done. We can watch in the TV room if it’s empty.”

“Okay.”

They finished dinner in silence and returned to their dorms.

Hamilton tried to work on his own homework but let himself get distracted by Tumblr until Jefferson texted him. He let Jefferson in the hall, Laurens’ DVD binder under his arm. “Lots to choose from,” he said.

“Awesome.”

Jefferson followed him to the TV room on the second floor. No one else was inside and they claimed the couch and browsed through the binder. They soon agreed on a historical war drama and settled in on the couch to watch.

About a half hour into the movie, the door opened and a short, chubby student walked in. “Thomas Jefferson has a friend?” he said flabbergasted. “Wonders never cease.”

Jefferson jumped up at once and threw himself over the couch and smashed the student into the door. “I will fucking kill you, Adams!” he screamed and bashed Madison’s high school assailant’s head against the door.

“Thomas!” Hamilton scrambled over the couch. “Don’t get yourself expelled over this shithead.” He yanked at Jefferson’s shirt in an attempt to pull him away.

Jefferson continued his beating of Jonathan Adams.

Hamilton climbed on Jefferson’s back. “Stop, Thomas. He’s not worth it.”

Jefferson let go and Adams slumped to the ground leaving a smear of blood on the door.

Adams groaned and sneered up at them. “Happy, fag?”

Jefferson buried his foot in Adam’s crotch. “Not until you’re dead,” he spat.

Adams shrieked in pain and rolled away.

“Why did you come here?” Jefferson demanded oblivious to Hamilton still clinging to his back.

“Education,” Adams said and moaned in pain. “And to make amends with you.”

“That will never happen.” He drew back his leg to kick again.

“Thomas,” Hamilton hissed in his ear. “He won’t hesitate to bring you down.”

“Who’s your little red-headed conscious?” Adams asked and pressed a hand to his bleeding head. He wouldn’t die from it at least. “New boyfriend?” He got to his feet and stumbled against the wall at the pain in his crotch.

“Alexander Hamilton,” Hamilton muttered. “We’ve met before.”

Adams frowned. “I don’t remember you.”

“High school,” Hamilton said. “Your junior year.”

“Get the fuck out of here,” Jefferson snapped. “I will kill you.”

Adams smirked. “Then kill me. Your pretentious Jemmy had it coming with his skirts and genderqueerness. He needs to make his mind up already. You can’t have it both ways.”

Hamilton cringed at the comment and his hands tightened on Jefferson’s shoulders. “Just fuck off, man. Don’t talk to us again.”

“I’ll do what I want. Andrew, was it?”

“Alexander.”

“Sure. Tootles.” He pulled open the door smeared with his blood.

Hamilton slipped off Jefferson’s back. “James can get a restraining order, can’t he? Adams can’t be around him, right?”

“I don’t know.” Jefferson staggered to the couch and sat on the armrest. “I’m going to be sick.”

Hamilton’s eyes flashed around the room for a garbage can and spotted one just in time to shove it at Jefferson.

Jefferson spewed up bile. His throat ached and a tingling twinge traveled from one arm to the other.

“We’ll talk to Washington,” Hamilton said. “No way would he have let this happen if he knew. He’ll get Adams kicked out.”

Jefferson nodded.

“Let’s finish the movie in my room, okay?” Hamilton patted Jefferson’s shoulder. “We’ll protect, James, I promise.”

“If he hurts James again…” Jefferson dry heaved.

Hamilton stroked his back. “Easy, T. Come on.” He struggled to pull Jefferson upright.

Jefferson stumbled to his feet while Hamilton grabbed the DVD’s. They headed to Hamilton’s room.

They sat on Hamilton’s bed with his laptop between them. They continued as they had before, watching in silence but it was heavy rather than comfortable now.

Hamilton stopped a yawn. He decided to chance it and rested his head against Jefferson’s shoulder.

“Tired?” Jefferson asked.

“Eh.” Hamilton lifted his head up. “Is that alright?”

“Yeah.”

He rested his head back and felt Jefferson shift his shoulder down to accommodate him better. He fell asleep a few minutes later.

Jefferson finished the movie and gently shifted Hamilton to lay down. He set the laptop on the desk and tried not to run into anything in the dark. He quickly failed and cussed as his shins collided with some of Laurens’ crap.

Hamilton snorted in his sleep and jerked awake. “Thomas?”

“Sorry.” Jefferson found the light switch. The both squinted. “Movie’s over, you fell asleep.”

Hamilton yawned. He glanced out the window at the dark campus. “Want to stay? You can sleep in Laurens’ bed.”

Jefferson barely managed not to grimace. “Nah, that’s alright. I think I’ll make it fine.”

“What if Adams is waiting for you?”

Jefferson’s hands balled into fists.

“You should stay,” Hamilton insisted. “I can sleep in Laurens’ bed; you can have mine.”

“I’ll be fine, Alexander.” Jefferson stepped toward the door.

“I don’t want you alone, T.” Hamilton slid off his bed and blocked the door. “Stay.”

Jefferson rubbed his eyes. “Okay.”

“Good. Do you need anything from your room?” Hamilton asked. “I’ll walk with you.”

“Nah, I’m wearing sweats,” Jefferson said. “I can sleep in these.” He moved to sit on the edge of Hamilton’s bed and pulled off his shoes.

Hamilton opened the bottom drawer of his dresser and tossed his pajamas on Laurens’ bed. He wanted to talk more about Adams—why’d he start in the middle of the semester? What was his motivation for choosing this school? It had to be to hurt Madison, right? He remained silent, though, knowing Jefferson was agitated enough.

He glanced over as Jefferson pulled off his sweatshirt and his t-shirt underneath rose above the waistband of his low-slung sweatpants. He hurried out to use the bathroom before his body decided to cause problems.

Around midnight, Hamilton was awakened by Jefferson muttering in his sleep and tossing roughly on the small bed. He turned on his light. “Thomas?”

Jefferson remained asleep, feet colliding with the built-in cabinets at the foot of the bed.

“Thomas.” Hamilton slid out of bed and poked him cautiously.

Jefferson snatched his wrist.

“It’s me,” Hamilton soothed.

Jefferson let go and heaved a deep breath.

“You were having a nightmare,” Hamilton explained. “Are you alright?”

Jefferson sat up. “No. Jemmy can’t know that Adams is here. He’s recovered from what happened. I’m not going to let him live in fear. He thinks Adams is gone. He needs to keep believing that.”

“We’ll protect James,” Hamilton said. “I promise.”

Jefferson nodded.

“I’m going to lay with you until you fall asleep.” Hamilton got on the bed and lay down on the quarter of the bed left over from Jefferson.

“I’m never going to be able to sleep with you there,” Jefferson said.

“Then I’ll just stay for ten minutes.”

Jefferson situated himself and closed his eyes. They were both out five minutes later.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jefferson wakes up in Hamilton's bed.

Jefferson rolled over and almost screamed to find Hamilton in his bed. He shoved the scrawny redhead to the floor. “Fuck, man!”

Hamilton groaned and rubbed his head. “Jesus, Thomas.”

“Sorry.” Jefferson looked over the side of the bed. “I didn’t realize we fell asleep.”

“No, shit.” Hamilton stood and stretched. He tried to get back on the bed but Jefferson pressed a hand against his chest.

“What’re you doing?”

“It’s like only seven,” Hamilton said. “Going back to bed.”

“Not with me. Let’s get breakfast.” He got out of bed.

Hamilton quickly climbed under the blanket and snuggled into the warm spot.

“Alex.” Jefferson groaned. “Come on. You need to keep me distracted.” He yanked the blankets back and dragged Hamilton off the bed.

“Fine, fine.” Hamilton huffed. “I hate early birds.” He pulled off his shirt and threw it at Jefferson.

Jefferson ducked. “What’re you doing?”

“Going to have sex with you.”

Jefferson froze and stammered nonsense.

Hamilton chuckled. “You’re so easy to fluster. I’m changing, numbskull.” He opened his wardrobe. “Pick something, T. Dress me up.”

 He remained stiff and turned away. “Just get dressed, Alexander. Naked people make me uncomfortable.”

Hamilton threw on some clothes while Jefferson put his sweatshirt back on.

“Is that what you’re going to wear?” Hamilton questioned.

“I don’t really give a fuck what I look like right now,” Jefferson said. He pulled off the hair tie he wore around his wrist and yanked his messy hair back. “I just want some pancakes and to not think.”

“Of course.” Hamilton shoved on his boots. “I gotta pee, then I’m ready.” He grabbed his wallet, keys, and phone.

Jefferson followed him out and into the bathroom.

They headed to a nearby café and they were soon seated amongst a few older couples.

Hamilton glanced around at the vintage décor. “Not my usual type of place,” he admitted. “But I like food.”

“I figured that,” Jefferson said. “The pancakes are good.”

They each ordered a small stack of pancakes. Hamilton added potatoes and bacon as his sides while Jefferson chose scrambled eggs and fruit. Both drank coffee.

They small talked about nothing to keep their minds quiet until their meals arrived then fell silent in favor of food.

Ten minutes later, movement outside the front window caught Hamilton’s attention.

“What is it?” Jefferson asked and looked over his shoulder.

“I thought I saw Adams,” Hamilton admitted.

Jefferson ground his teeth.

“We need to kill him.”

“No kidding,” Jefferson grumbled. He closed his eyes for a moment and turned his attention to the food left on Hamilton’s plate. “Are you done?”

Hamilton pushed his plate over. “Yeah.” He wouldn’t admit that he wanted a few more bites of potato as his mind still played tricks on him in regards to food rules and Jefferson had seniority over him.

Jefferson made quick work of what was left and they took refills on their coffee.

“It’s weird, though, that Adams forgot who I was,” Hamilton said as he dumped sugar in his drink. “It was a huge deal to James and me what he did.”

“He’s a bully and a shit,” Jefferson said with a clenched jaw. “Think of how many kids he’s made miserable. What did he do to you and James?”

Hamilton told him about the time during his senior year of high school when he’d gone fishing with Lafayette and been eaten up by mosquitos resulting in a very uncomfortable following day. “James had some itch relief cream,” he explained. “He was helping me put it on in the bathroom and Adams came in and saw two pairs of shoes in one stall.”

Jefferson grimaced and could well imagine the rest.

Hamilton explained anyway, how Adams had tried to take pictures under the stall door and how he had shoved Adams’ head in a toilet.

“Did he ever tease you further?” Jefferson studied his coffee.

“No.”

“Do you know why?”

Hamilton’s brow wrinkled. “No. What do you know?”

“You busted your face not long after that, didn’t you?”

“Yes…” He’d been goofing off in his chair in class, fell out and smashed his face into Madison’s chair.

“Adams saw the Washington’s soothing you and took pictures.” Jefferson watched Hamilton’s face. “Jem got him to agree to delete the pics and not spill that you were the Washington’s foster son by wearing a dress.” He sucked in a shaky breath. If Madison hadn’t been coerced into wearing the dress the first time maybe he wouldn’t have ever discovered he liked it and then the attack wouldn’t have happened.

Hamilton’s mouth dropped open. “No—shit—Thomas, I’m sorry.” He ran his hands through his hair, yanking it. “That James got attacked… It’s my fault.” He closed his eyes. “Shit.”

“I’m not blaming you,” Jefferson said although his voice sounded dead. “Hey… stop.” He grabbed Hamilton’s wrists before he tore his hair out.

 “Why didn’t James ever tell me?” Hamilton whispered as his lip quivered. “Thomas, I feel terrible…”

“Shut up.” Jefferson rubbed his eyes. “To protect you, probably.”

Hamilton groaned. “And I was the dipshit that sent pics of you around. James should have let me feel the mortification. That would have prevented all of this. Thomas—”

“Alexander, stop.” Jefferson grabbed his hands and jerked him against the table. “What happened would have happened.” He struggled to slow his breathing. “It was just a bad chain of events.”

Hamilton nodded and fought the urge to apologize again.

Jefferson let go of Hamilton’s hands and picked up his coffee cup with trembling fingers.

Hamilton rubbed at his neck. “Does James blame me?”

Jefferson set his cup down rough enough to splash coffee on the table. “What does Washington do when you get this way?” he asked instead.

“Huh?” Hamilton’s forehead wrinkled.

“What does he do when you don’t listen and your face gets that abused puppy look?”

“I—um—I don’t know.” Hamilton gnawed on his thumbnail.

“Then I’m going to do what I would do for James. Come sit on my lap.”

“Thomas—”

“Get over here or I will drag you across the table.”

Hamilton stumbled out of his seat and approached Jefferson.

Jefferson pushed his chair back and yanked Hamilton onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around his friend. “Stop blaming yourself, for the love of God,” he murmured in Hamilton’s ear.

“People are staring,” Hamilton mumbled.

“So? You worried they’ll think you’re my boyfriend?”

A faint blush crept up Hamilton’s cheeks. “Nah. No one is that dumb.”

Jefferson shifted Hamilton’s legs over his own. “I don’t blame you.” He kept his mouth close to Hamilton’s ear. “James doesn’t blame you. But you have to promise you’ll help me keep him safe.”

“I promise.”

“Good.” Jefferson dumped Hamilton off his lap. “Thank goodness you aren’t any heavier.”

The tips of Hamilton’s ears colored to match his hair. “You didn’t have to do that.” He returned to his seat.

“I’m pretty sure I did.” He finished his coffee and picked up the check.

“I can pay my share,” Hamilton said.

Jefferson smacked his hand as he tried to see the bill.

“It’s not that much,” Jefferson assured and tucked some cash into the holder. “Ready?”

Hamilton stood and followed him to the front door.

Jefferson held the door open for him.

“I’m not James,” Hamilton muttered. “You don’t have to pay for my food and open doors. I’m beginning to think I am dating you.”

“My parents were born and raised in the south,” Jefferson explained. “I’ve been brought up with southern hospitality. Forgive me for being polite.” He glanced at Hamilton. “Plus you’re short like James and I feel this need to take ca—”

His words stopped sharp.

“Hello, again, boys,” Adams said.

Jefferson snarled at him.

“Thomas,” Hamilton hissed. “We’re in public. You’ll get arrested.”

Jefferson pushed up his sleeves. “Don’t give a fuck. I’m revenging Jemmy.”

Adams grinned. “On another date?”

Jefferson cracked his knuckles.

Hamilton moved in front of Jefferson. “Thomas, don’t.” He struggled to push Jefferson back.

Adams gave his too-wide smile.  “I do believe that’s what you wore yesterday, TJ. Oh, gosh, you slept together last night, didn’t you?” He winked at Hamilton.

Hamilton bristled and let go of Jefferson.

“Call Washington,” Jefferson said under his breath. “I’m going to need him to bail me out.” He swung his fist at Adams and knocked him into a nearby wall.

Adams grunted in pain.

Patrons in the café they just left heard the commotion and a few watched at the window.

“Shit, Thomas, don’t,” Hamilton muttered as he grabbed his phone from his back pocket.

Jefferson got in several more hits before two men rushed out from the café and pulled him back. He stopped instantly but his eyes snapped fire.

Hamilton hung up with Washington and tried to smooth things over. “That jerk—” he pointed at Adams “—hurt our friend and he needs to be in jail.”

One of the men walked away not wanting any part of this.

Adams sank to the ground and pressed a hand against his bleeding face.

The other man glared at Jefferson. “Your kind—”

“Don’t you even,” Hamilton spat and pushed his way in front of Jefferson. “You don’t know anything, buddy. Don’t judge by skin color.”

“He just punched that fat kid several times,” the man said staring down at Hamilton. “I think that’s good reason to judge.”

“You don’t even know what that kid did to our friend.”

Jefferson squeezed Hamilton’s shoulders. “Don’t tell him,” he whispered. He looked at the man. “I’m sorry to disrupt your morning. I’ll leave.”

The man sneered. “The cops are on their way.”

At the sound of an approaching car, Hamilton looked over his shoulder and sighed with relief at the sight of Washington’s Cadillac. They had gotten lucky that he had been nearby running errands for his wife.

He got out and greeted the man by name. “My boys aren’t giving you any trouble, are they?”

The man clenched his jaw. “Hello, George. Little misunderstanding is all.”

“Good.” He grabbed Hamilton’s arm. “Get in the car.”

“Dad, that’s Jonathan Adams—” Hamilton began.

“I know, Alex.” He let go of his foster son’s arm. “Are you alright, Thomas?”

Jefferson got in the passenger seat. “No, that twat—” Thomas snapped before Washington glared at him. “That shithead—sir, I can’t use a nice word for him. Why is he here?”

Washington started the car. “I don’t know, but we’ll get rid of him, I promise.”

“Jemmy can’t know.” Jefferson struggled with his seatbelt. “Sir, he can’t—”

“I know, Thomas.” Washington merged into traffic.

Hamilton buckled himself in the backseat. “Can James get a restraining order?”

“It might be too late now,” said Washington. “James never filed any charges.”

Jefferson groaned and dropped his head in his hands. “I can’t do this again.”

“I’ll get it sorted out, son,” Washington assured. He dropped them off at campus. “Come over this afternoon, both of you.”

The boys agreed and said goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments mean the world to me!


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor Jemmy :(

Around three o’clock, Hamilton drove himself and Jefferson to the Estates, refusing to be a passenger in Jefferson’s expensive truck.

The dogs barked as they pulled into the driveway. Once inside, Potato growled and yapped at Jefferson and charged his ankles.

Mrs. Washington scooped the dog in her arms. “I’ll put her upstairs. It’s good to see you, boys.”

Hamilton cooed over Potato for a moment before Mrs. Washington took her away.

Washington came out of his office. “I spoke to the college President,” he said. “James will need to file charges in order to get Adams kicked out. I’m sorry.”

Jefferson dropped into the nearest chair in the front room. “Sir…”

“I know.” Washington massaged his shoulders. “James will just need to write his statement about what happened. He doesn’t have to face Adams.”

“He’s gotten through this.” Jefferson wiped his left eye. “I can’t ask him to go back.”

“Is there anything else that can be done?” Hamilton asked.

Washington shook his head. “I imagine neither of you wants to risk Jemmy not knowing and Adams approaching him on campus.”

Jefferson went rigid at the idea and sucked in a raspy breath.

“I’ll call Mr. Madison,” Washington said, “and we’ll go to Montpelier now and talk to James and his parents.”

Jefferson agreed. He and Hamilton waited in the front room until Washington returned.

“Ready?”

Jefferson and Hamilton followed him to the garage and got in the Cadillac for the short drive down the street.

Mr. Madison had told his son and Madison was in tears when they arrived.

Jefferson scooped him up and took him into the nearby library while the rest went in the study.

Madison clung to Jefferson’s shirt. “Why?”

“I know, babe. I know.” Jefferson stroked his hair. He sat in a leather armchair that squeaked beneath him. “You just have to write down what happened and you’ll be safe.”

“I don’t want to think about it,” Madison wailed.

Jefferson clutched him tighter. “There isn’t any other way to keep him off campus.”

“He was going to stick a knife up me.” Madison sobbed harder and dug his nails into Jefferson’s chest. “Give me a vagina because he said that’s what I wanted.”

A wave of hot, then cold rushed over Jefferson at the new horrifying detail. His grasp on Madison faltered as his arms weakened. “I can’t protect you from him,” he whispered through trembling lips. “You have to talk.”

“I shouldn’t have worn a skirt.” Madison pounded his fists against Jefferson’s chest. “I was asking for it.”

Jefferson stiffened. “Never say that, James,” he commanded. “Adams is—fuck—there isn’t a word harsh enough.” He squeezed Madison tight. “Please, can you write down what happened? I won’t leave your side.”

Madison trembled. “Okay.”

Jefferson managed to stand with Madison in his arms and they went into the neighboring study. The Madison’s lawyer was already present. Jefferson merely nodded and everyone but Mr. Madison and the lawyer cleared out of the room.

Madison remained on Jefferson’s lap as he wrote out the details of the attack back in high school. While he could forget what happened most of the time, as soon as he began to recall it, the details flooded back clear and harsh. Tears ran down his face as he wrote about Adams undressing him, ripping the buttons off his clothes. He remembered the zipper on his skirt pinching his skin as it was yanked off. He remembered fighting back and calling Jefferson and knowing then that he was safe.

The lawyer looked over the statement. “We’ll get the restraining order filed right away. It should be enough to force Jonathan Adams off campus.”

“ _Should_?” Jefferson questioned.

The lawyer’s mouth went in a straight line. “I’m sorry but the judge might only see this as a hundred yard restraint if we can even get the order. He wouldn’t be allowed to talk to James but there would still be on campus.”

“That’s not good enough!” Jefferson jumped out of his chair with Madison gripped in his arms.

“Thomas,” Mr. Madison cautioned. “Let our lawyer get this to a judge and we’ll see what happens.”

“Sir—”

Mr. Madison shook his head ending the discussion.

Tears spilled down Madison’s cheeks once more.

***

Losing a parent wasn’t something you got over, but Jefferson had learned to deal with his father’s death when he was fourteen. But now, as he waited at the courthouse with Mr. Madison to hear the judge’s verdict, the ache for his father choked him and torn into his heart. But it was a selfish reason he wanted his father back. Mr. Jefferson had been a judge and one well-known to side with abused boys and protect young men from such situations. Jefferson knew, under his father’s direction, that Adams would be gone from their lives forever. But this judge didn’t have the same record. This judge might not see the damage caused by one young man to another and consider it a problem.

Madison had no choice but to include in his statement that he had been wearing a skirt, that he was genderqueer, that he was gay. Those couldn’t be used against him, right? The judge couldn’t say that if he’d had his act together Adams wouldn’t have assaulted him. It was a hate crime. Justice was deserved, right? But if the case went further, if witnesses were called… Jefferson had assaulted Adams back—not as bad—but the truth would be on record and the truth of his mother using her credentials to protect her son.

Mr. Madison stood as his lawyer approached.

Jefferson dragged himself up and shivered at the slump in the lawyer’s shoulders.

“The judge isn’t going to grant a restraining order,” he said.

Mr. Madison pressed a hand to his mouth.

“No!” Jefferson spat. “What the fuck? It was a hate crime. He almost raped him.”

“Thomas.” Mr. Madison touched his arm and looked back at his lawyer.

“There is no relationship between your son and Adams,” the lawyer explained. “Adams hasn’t tried to contact James and hasn’t further harassed him. The judge doesn’t see Adams as a continued threat. There weren’t any grounds to base a restraining order.”

Mr. Madison sucked in a shaky breath. “How is James supposed to go to school knowing his assailant is there? How is Thomas supposed to function when he needs to watch his boyfriend constantly?”

“I’m sorry,” the lawyer said.

“Can we take Adams to court?” Mr. Madison asked.

“I wouldn’t.” The lawyer glanced at Jefferson. “Thomas will be the one who ends up in jail. He’s attacked Adams twice, both times unprovoked.”

Jefferson ground his teeth. “What he did—”

Mr. Madison stopped him again. “Adams knows we’ll crack down on him if he touches Jemmy again. He won’t hurt him.”

“Sir—we can’t—if…” Jefferson struggled to spit his words out. “We can’t just wait for Jemmy to get hurt.”

“Nor can we put him in a bubble,” Mr. Madison said. “Although, that has been tempting since he was a baby. You and your friends will need to be vigilant. Because, honestly, Thomas, anyone could be a threat to Jemmy.”

“What’re you saying?” Jefferson frowned. “Are you insinuating that the way Jemmy looks is asking to get assaulted?”

The lawyer stepped back as the two men argued.

“I’m saying Jemmy puts a lot of targets on his back,” Mr. Madison said.

“That’s what I said.” Jefferson turned away. “Why are you not protecting your son? I’m sorry he’s not a straight-ass jerk like Frank is.”

“Thomas,” Mr. Madison growled. “Don’t you dare speak to me like that.”

Jefferson walked away. The last thing he wanted to do was punch his boyfriend’s father.

Washington picked him up since he had carpooled with Mr. Madison.

“I’m sorry, son,” Washington said. “I’ll do whatever I can to keep James safe at school. Adams doesn’t have any classes with him or any of you boys. His schedule looks to be heavily concentrated on the east side of campus. He knows he doesn’t stand a chance.”

“He shouldn’t have stood a chance in high school,” Jefferson muttered.

“He was expelled,” Washington reminded him.

“What do I tell Jemmy?” Jefferson rubbed his eyes. “How do I tell him that his dad isn’t on his side?”

“Don’t expect to change Mr. Madison.” Washington glanced at his passenger. “He’s accepted you as Jem’s boyfriend and, I think, expecting anything further is going to create tension and make Jem choose. Don’t make him choose between you or his father.”

Jefferson sighed. “Understood.”

“You tell Jem the truth,” continued Washington. “You tell your friends the truth and you look out for each other. Everything will be okay, Thomas.”

“He made sure we knew he was on campus.” Jefferson dug at his arm. “He has an agenda.”

“To make you go crazy with fear.” Washington grabbed Jefferson’s arm to stop him from hurting himself. “It’s working very well. I’ve been learning a thing or two about letting go. It’s not easy, son, but sometimes it’s for the best.”

Jefferson gave a defeated nod.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, if you leave a comment I will consider you my best friend for life (and we never even have to do that social interaction stressy stuff!).


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debate

Washington watched his team assemble before him for their first official debate. If they came in first or second, they would move on to compete against other colleges. “Ready?”

“We got this,” Hamilton said. He wrapped his arms around Burr and Madison and looked up at Jefferson. “Right?”

“Totally,” Jefferson said. It hadn’t been easy telling Madison about Adams free to roam campus but his boyfriend had taken it well enough and said he wanted to focus on debate, not what had happened.

The boys took their spots at their table in the front while Washington sat at the judge’s table as moderator. While he remained unbiased in pushing his buzzer, his face steadily beamed with pride as he watched his boys work together.

Their initial half-hour of research went well and all four helped each other. Hamilton’s intro speech went off without a hitch. Madison’s ability to read fast worked well with Hamilton’s ability to take a short statement and turn it into a well-thought-out complete paragraph without the need of writing it down. To add to it, his and Burr’s minds worked closer, and Hamilton could pick up on what Burr was getting at with a word or gesture. It gave Hamilton an edge over Jefferson for his ability to work so easily with both researchers. His downfall was being too wordy and he could get out more facts and statements if he trimmed down what he did say.

Jefferson couldn’t react on the fly as easily and sprout off hundreds of words at a time. He relied on writing more stuff down, his speeches more concise and a little stronger, if he could tone it down enough. Burr was his moderator, shaking his head while Jefferson spoke on stage to tell him to dumb something down before he was buzzed for clarity. He and Madison were always in-sync, their minds working together as they wrote out notes in the shorthand and code only they understand which annoyed Burr and slowed them down a little if it was something Hamilton could also use. 

But if there was time, Madison rewrote for Hamilton and likewise, Hamilton often stepped in to write out statements for Jefferson since he was faster at putting things together.

The team had no trouble leaving the other teams in the dust and received only one buzz when Hamilton went over his allotted time. Their argument was strong and they worked together. 

Washington didn’t have a say in final scores. He sat with his team and watched the judges as they tallied things up.

Team Mulligan kept an eye on them, stunned at their performance and rethinking how easily they would win the debate season. 

The room fell silent as one judge stood and walked on stage. “The winner is the yet-unnamed team under Washington.”

The boys erupted in cheers and Washington hugged them. 

Team Mulligan came in second and both teams would advance to compete against other colleges for the next debate.

“We’ll get pizza to celebrate,” Washington said clutching Hamilton to him. “You boys deserve it.” 

As good sports, they congratulated their friends. Washington hugged his other son, glad that he would also get a chance to travel with his team.

Laurens squeezed Hamilton’s hand. “Hotel sex,” he whispered.

Hamilton grinned.

Washington gathered his team together to get their trophy and herded them out to his car to grab pizza. “How does it feel to have your hard work pay off?” he asked.

“Awesome,” Hamilton said. He sat in the middle between Burr and Madison. He squeezed their hands. “Right, T?’

Jefferson had to agree. “Working with you isn’t as big of a pain in the ass as it could be.”

“Yay.” 

Washington parked and the group headed inside and was soon seated. “Try to agree on one pizza,” he said.

“Can we get a cookie pizza?” Madison asked. He leaned on Jefferson to look at the menu.

“For dessert,” Washington agreed.

“I like pineapple,” Hamilton said.

Jefferson made a face. “Don’t even go there.”

“Pepperoni?” Burr suggested.

“I prefer sausage,” Madison piped up.

“You would.” Hamilton grinned at him and received a kick under the table.

“Can you take the pepperoni off?” Washington asked Madison.

Madison nodded.

Washington ordered a pepperoni and sausage pizza and a pitcher of root beer. 

The talk quickly turned to the next debate.

“How far away is it?” Madison asked. He yawned and sipped on his root beer to try to stay awake.

“Two hours,” Washington said. “The school will pay for a hotel room for you boys.”

Hamilton struggled to fight a smile off his face.

“Can’t we commute?” Madison twirled a lock of hair.

“You wouldn’t get any sleep.” Jefferson patted his leg. “It’s just three nights.”

“Three?” Madison’s lip trembled. He buried his face against Jefferson’s arm.

Jefferson cuddled him. “You’ll be alright.” He glanced at Washington. They had hoped the traveling would be a good thing for Madison to help him out of his very small comfort zone, but they hadn’t expected him to have such a reaction weeks before traveling even happened.

“We’ll be with you, James,” Hamilton said. He reached across the table to pat Madison’s head.

Madison eased away from Jefferson and gave a small nod. He wiped his eyes and reached for his drink. 

“So, like, what all happens?” Hamilton asked. “Do we debate all day?”

“Basically,” Washington said. “Each team will have a round in the morning and afternoon. The winning teams will go again the next day.”

“So if we lose, we go home?” Madison asked.

“James,” Jefferson gave him a gentle shove. “Don’t throw the debate for us.”

“I wouldn’t,” Madison grumbled. “But I’m going to be anxious the whole time. I might not be any help.”

“You’ll do great,” Burr assured him. “Alexander will be the worst thing you have to put up with.”

“Hey!” Hamilton hit him with a spoon.

“Boys.” Washington grabbed the utensil. “I expect you all to be mature and on your best behavior and represent your school well. Otherwise, Team Mulligan will be the impression left behind of our college.”

“Yeah, we don’t want that,” Hamilton said. “Bunch of pretentious fu—”

“Alexander!” Washington scolded. “Goodness, I can’t take you anywhere.”

“Duh, I’m not sure why you insist anyway.” Hamilton grinned at him. “When’re you going to adopt me?”

Washington was spared answering as their pizza arrived.

Everyone dug in. Madison picked off the pepperoni and gave them to Jefferson.

“You’ll be expected to dress in suits,” Washington said after a few minutes of hungry silence. “Aaron, do you need anything?”

“What about me?” Hamilton asked before Burr could answer. “I don’t have a suit.”

“Didn’t we get you one for your high school graduation?” Washington said. “That should still fit.”

Hamilton made a face. “I don’t want to wear stuff from high school.”

Washington shook his head. “Aaron?”

Burr stared at his pizza. “I think I still have a suit.” Although, he doubted it would fit anymore even if his uncle had packed it before the eviction. It was luck he had any clothes left.

“Let me know as soon as you can,” Washington told him. “I’ll help you out if need be.”

“Thanks.” Burr reached for his drink.

The boys devoured the whole pizza and the chocolate chip cookie one. Washington returned three of them to campus and drove Madison back to the Estates. 

“What if I can’t handle the debate?” Madison asked. 

“Do you want to go?” Washington asked before he answered.

“Yes.”

“Then you’ll manage. Talk to your team; let them know what could happen so they’ll have a backup plan to in order to function. I know it’ll be exhausting but you will only have to interact with your team.”

“I don’t want to let them down, but...”

“You won’t.” Washington smiled at him. “They all love you and will help you succeed.” 


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Washington is allergic to cats.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” Hamilton asked Burr after they returned from pizza and walked toward their dormitory.

“Sure,” Burr said. “Let me make a call first.”

“Of course.” Hamilton slipped his hand into Burr’s and squeezed. He let go to unlock the hall door.

Burr almost reached back to grab his hand and sped up to return to his room instead. He pulled out his phone and called his uncle to ask about his suit.

“What?” Uncle Timothy snapped. “You want to take more from you?”

Burr hung up without a word and pressed his palms against his eyes. He sucked in a shaky breath and another until the waves of sadness ebbed. He left his phone on his bed and headed to Hamilton’s room. The door was unlocked and let himself in and climbed up on Hamilton’s bed and cuddled next to him.

“What’cha doing, Aaron?” Hamilton asked. He closed the browser on his laptop and moved it aside. 

“Just... I missed you.” He fingered the buttons down Hamilton’s shirt and undid one in the middle.

“I...” Hamilton let his train of thought derail. He didn’t know what he wanted. Didn’t know what he thought. 

“Where’s John?” Burr asked. He sat up but kept his body touching Hamilton’s.

“Still celebrating, I imagine.” Hamilton sucked in his lips. Where was this going? What was Burr insinuating? 

“When do you think he’ll be back?” 

Hamilton sensed the hunger in Burr’s dark hazel eyes and had to look away. “Um, I dunno. He’s been staying out late a lot. Aaron—”

“We almost did before,” Burr interrupted. “You told me if I ever want—”

“I know.” Hamilton’s breathing quickened. It’s what he wanted, right?

_You’ll get hurt again._

Hamilton shook his head at the words in his own mind. “Maybe...see what happens.”

Burr nodded. “What movie do you want to watch?”

They found a comedy and watched in silence, shoulder-to-shoulder, fingers exploring each other’s hand.

“Your hands are freezing,” Hamilton complained.

“Then warm them up,” Burr suggested.

“Aaron...” Hamilton pulled away.

Burr huffed. “I know. I gave you anxiety. I’m sorry. Forget it.”

“Aaron, come on.” Hamilton leaned back against him. “It’s just...I don’t know. I...” He shook his head unable to understand what he wanted let alone how to articulate it. How could he trust someone who left for almost six months with no explanation, no contact? Burr had broken his heart. Did he deserve a second chance?

They watched in silence a little longer until Burr’s hand strayed.

Hamilton smacked it away.

Burr got off the bed and glared at him. “You said I only had to ask. You wanted this before, Alexander. What changed?”

Hamilton paused the movie in order to focus. “I can’t trust you.” He closed his eyes. He heard the door slam and hot tears leaked down his cheeks.

Burr threw himself on his own bed and pummeled his pillow. He didn’t blame Hamilton at all, but if he only knew… However, it was better to keep the pain buried. No one would care about his grief anyway. He changed for bed and thought about calling his uncle again but decided it would be easier to ask Washington for help in procuring a suit than contact his guardian.

He struggled to get comfortable and fall asleep.

Hamilton texted Laurens and was relieved to get his reply that he’d be back in five minutes. Without someone to distract him, his night would have dissolved into tears.

At once, Laurens took Hamilton’s pillow and put it on his own bed. He didn’t need to ask what was wrong, as he’d seen the distressed look on his friend’s face too often. He changed and pulled Hamilton close, kissing and caressing him.

They fell asleep and were awakened an hour later by Laurens’ phone. He replied to the text and rolled out of bed.

“What is it?” Hamilton mumbled as he rubbed his eyes.

“Um… Lee.” Laurens pulled on his jeans. “Drank too much or something. Says he can’t stop throwing up. I’m gonna stay with him.”

“John.” Hamilton caught his wrist. “I need you more.”

Laurens shook him loose. “Sorry.” He closed the door.

Hamilton curled into a ball and clutched Laurens’ pillow. Why was he always alone? Why couldn’t he find someone who would stay?

After twenty minutes of fighting back a panic attack, he got out of bed, grabbed his phone, and left his room.

He squinted and covered his eyes at the bright hallway light always left on. He stumbled down to the end of the hall and knocked on Burr’s door.

Still awake, Burr didn’t keep him long.

Hamilton slipped in and closed the door to shield them from the blinding light. He crumpled into Burr’s arms and held on for dear life.

Burr squeezed him as tight as he could and tucked his head against Hamilton’s neck. They held each other in silence for several minutes and let go at the same time.

“Stay,” Burr whispered.

In response, Hamilton got in Burr’s bed and Burr joined him.

Burr let Hamilton have his pillow and rested his head against his friend’s chest. Hamilton waited for him to start touching or kissing like Laurens always did and he had done earlier but Burr kept his hands to himself this time and they drifted off to sleep.

Sunlight streamed in through the thin curtains when Hamilton’s phone rang. Since it was under the pillow, they both jumped awake.

Hamilton silenced it with a groan. It was Laurens. He texted his friend instead, _is everything okay?_

 _Where are you?_ Laurens replied.

_Aaron’s room._

_Okay. I have to work today. Will you be okay?_

_I think so._

Hamilton tucked the phone back under the pillow and snuggled into Burr. He pushed Burr’s long-sleeve up past his elbow and scratched his nails lightly along his arm.

Burr’s body relaxed into the bed, eyes closed.

Hamilton watched him, studying the face so much thinner than last year. He missed the chubbier cheeks, the innocence and hope that used to be there. His gaze moved to his hand against Burr’s arm. His own fingers were long and slender while Burr’s were shorter, stronger, the nails not chewed off and ragged at the cuticles. His skin was a rich bronze while Hamilton’s was so pale it was a miracle he survived living in the Caribbean for twelve years.

“I can feel you staring at me,” Burr murmured without opening his eyes.

“You changed so much, Aaron,” Hamilton said. “I have to reacquaint myself.”

Burr met Hamilton’s gaze. “Will you ever be able to trust me again?”

Hamilton nodded.

Burr traced Hamilton’s cheek. “Can you go back to what you were doing?”

Hamilton resumed scratching his arm. He stopped again after another minute or so and burrowed his face into Burr’s stomach. “I need someone, Aaron.” His voice was muffled, barely audible. “John’s a mess and I don’t know what to expect from him at any given moment.”

Burr slipped his hand up Hamilton’s shirt and stroked his back. “Let’s work toward trusting each other.”

Hamilton turned his head to the side. Before he could think of an answer, his phone rang again, his foster sister Bree this time. He sat up. “What’s up?”

“I need your help,” Bree said.

“What’d you do?” Hamilton climbed over Burr to get off the bed.

“I found a stray cat.”

Hamilton chuckled. “Good job. I bet the dogs love that.”

“That’s kind of the problem,” Bree said. “Are you coming home today?”

“I could, I suppose.” He glanced at Burr. “Give me, like, an hour.”

Burr slipped off the bed, touched Hamilton’s shoulder and kissed his cheek. “Have fun.” He left the room to use the bathroom.

Hamilton returned to his own room, got ready, and headed home.

Bree met him at the front door. “I don’t want your parents to send the cat to the shelter,” she told him. “But I don’t know what to do with it.”

“Let’s see this cat,” Hamilton said.

Bree led him upstairs. Several of the dogs were clustered around the door, noses aimed at the bottom of the doorframe. Despite their effort, as soon as Bree opened the door, the dogs pushed inside.

At once, the cat sprinted out of the bedroom and downstairs. The dogs tore after it, barking.

Hamilton swore as he and Bree ran after the animals.

Washington came out of his office at the commotion. “Alexander!”

Hamilton hurried into the hallway of barking dogs and a spitting cat. “I didn’t do it!”

“Grab Potato,” Washington commanded as the fat Chihuahua tried to nip the cat who was the same size as she was.

Hamilton scooped up the dog and the cat scampered away and up Washington’s leg.

Washington cringed as tiny claws dug into his skin. The cat perched on his shoulder and purred. Washington pressed the back of his hand against his nose as he fought a sneeze. He failed and sneezed several times in a row. The cat panicked and propelled itself off his shoulder.

The dogs tore off after the feline—Potato launching herself out of Hamilton’s arms. Bree ran after them and managed to grab the cat and race upstairs to her room.

Washington continued to wheeze as he glared at Hamilton. “Why—do—we—have a—cat,” he said between sneezes.

“Bree…” Hamilton studied a bleeding scratch on his hand.

“I’m still blaming you.”

“Fair enough.” 

“Tell Bree she can’t keep it.”

“Dad—”

“The Madison’s might take it.” Washington sneezed again. “It’ll have a good home.”  He coughed and headed upstairs to find some allergy medicine.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys find out why Madison has so many siblings.

“I hate how vague the topic is,” Hamilton complained as they met at Madison’s house a few days later to begin debate preparations. Madison ushered them into the library. “Business. That could go in any direction.”

“That’s how it is,” Jefferson said. “We’re not meant to do much research beforehand.”

Hamilton and Burr stared around the walls of bookshelves over six-feet high. 

“Is there an organization system?” Burr asked.

“Not really,” Madison replied. “The little kids move books around all the time so nothing is ever in its proper place.” He sat on the floor to examine books on a bottom shelf. Hamilton joined him while Burr and Jefferson started across the room.

They worked in silence, pulling out books, flipping through, putting them back. 

After twenty minutes, Jefferson asked, “Has anyone found anything?”

“No,” Burr said.

They looked at Hamilton and Madison still on the floor.

“Um...” Madison chewed on his lip.

“We found Waldo,” Hamilton said and held up the book pointing to the page.

Jefferson groaned. “You guys.”

“Sorry,” Madison said. He put the book back on the shelf with other oversized kid’s books and scooted along the floor to a different one.

Hamilton grabbed a stool and examined a top shelf. After a few minutes, he said, “I think I know why Mr. and Mrs. Madison have so many kids.”

“What?” Madison asked, brow wrinkled.

Hamilton held up a book with a rather explicit cover. 

“Ew!” Madison covered his eyes.

“Put it back, Alexander,” Jefferson said. “Grow up.”

“There’s a whole row of sex books,” Hamilton said. “You guys want to take a look? Ya’ll are virgins.”

Jefferson made a face. “Find something pertinent to business.”

“Prostitution.”

“Alexander!”

Hamilton hopped off his stool. “Trust me, sex sells. Ya’ll are barking up the wrong tree.”

“Stop saying ‘ya’ll’,” Madison begged.

Hamilton rolled his eyes. “Sorry to offend you southerners.” 

“I moved to New York when I was a baby,” Madison said. “I haven’t been back to Virginia.”

The three looked at Jefferson.

“What?” he asked. “My family moved when I was four. I only go back to Virginia in the summer. I don’t say ya’ll.”

The other boys busted out laughing at how easily he slipped into an accent.

“You guys are the worst,” Jefferson grumbled. “Can we focus?”

“Don’t think you can make yourself the lead by being bossy,” Hamilton said.

“Well, we do need a lead and I’m the oldest,” he reasoned. “Team Jefferson sounds pretty good.”

“Nope,” Hamilton said and turned to a different bookshelf. “Team Hamilton.”

“Team Madison.” Madison smiled up at them from the floor. 

“Team Jemmy,” Jefferson suggested instead.

Hamilton shrugged. “Sure. Aaron?”

Burr looked up from his book. “Yeah, works for me.”

“So, I’m the lead?” Madison asked.

“Looks like it.” Jefferson smiled at him.

“Cool.” He returned to pulling out books and pushing them back.

Another twenty minutes passed in silence. Jefferson had made the mistake of opening a US history book and lost himself reading. Madison sat cross-legged on the floor, chin in his hands, lost in a book. Hamilton had returned to the shelf of sex books and made confused faces at the pictures he found.

Burr, the least voracious reader, was the only one still actively looking for anything relating to business. Once he looked up and found his team mates absorbed in their own worlds, he cleared his throat loudly. “Find anything?”

Hamilton slammed his book shut while Jefferson jumped. Madison squeaked in surprise.

“You guys aren’t even trying,” Burr complained. 

Jefferson put his book back. “Sorry. Did you find anything?”

“Statistics.” Burr handed the book over. “It’s recent.”

Jefferson flipped through. “Yeah, it’s a start. Jem, want to take a look?”

“Sounds boring.” Madison turned a page in his book.

“What’re you reading?”

Madison held it up.

Jefferson grinned. “ _The Three Little Wolves and the Big Bad Pig_. You’re adorable, Jemmy.”

“I know.” Madison returned to reading the children’s book.

“He kind of needs to help,” Burr whispered. 

Hamilton nodded but didn’t dare say anything.

The three returned to the shelves with better focus and soon managed to find a small stack of possibilities. 

There was no limit to resources (within reason) but too many books would only slow Burr and Madison down in finding pertinent facts. They needed a variety and a clear idea of the information each book had. They’d have their laptops, too, to search online but it was easier to be certain of facts from books versus a google search, no matter how much faster that would be.

Jefferson coaxed Madison away from the picture books and got him to look through the tomes they found to see if he thought they’d be worthwhile and easy to find necessary information.

***

On Monday, Burr lingered outside Washington’s office and tried to drum up the courage to knock. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and tapped his knuckles.

“Enter,” Washington said.

Burr pushed the door open. “Sorry to bother you.”

“You’re never a bother,” Washington said. “Come in. What can I help you with?”

“I don’t have a suit for debate,” Burr said. He sank into the chair opposite Washington and twisted his hands together. “I’m supposed to work at the campus library but my training keeps getting put off. I don’t have any money.”

“Not a problem,” Washington said. He held a finger up and made a phone call.

Burr cringed when he heard his name mentioned and hunched his shoulders, wishing he could disappear.

Washington hung up. “You can start your job at the library tomorrow. I told the head librarian you’ve worked at ones before and would figure it out just fine.”

“Um, thanks,” Burr mumbled. “I won’t be able to afford—”

“I’ll take you to get a suit, Aaron,” Washington soothed. He glanced at the time on his computer. “We can go now if you want.”

Burr nodded. Best to get it over with and not stress over hanging out with Washington.

Washington locked his office and led the way to his Cadillac.

Burr got in the passenger seat and bucked up. “How long have you had this car?” he asked. Maybe if kept asking mundane questions Washington wouldn’t have a chance to ask him anything.

“About fifteen years,” Washington said. “Martha and I bought it as an anniversary present.”

“How long have you been married?”

“Almost thirty years.” Washington smiled with dreamy eyes and gave a soft sigh.

“Wow.” His mind darkened with the reality of how difficult that would be to achieve and lost track of stupid questions to ask.

But Washington didn’t feel the need to pester and drove to the mall in silence.

“Let’s see what we can find,” Washington said as he opened the door to a department store. “Martha can make any minor adjustments if something doesn’t quite fit right. You’ll want to look sharp. She’s trying to get Alexander’s jacket to fit him right now. Boy is too skinny for his own good.”

“What color is he wearing?” Burr asked. “I don’t want us all to match.”

Washington chuckled. “Good point. His is navy. I know James will wear black and Thomas will probably do gray. Maybe we can find some pinstripes for you or a darker gray.”

Burr found it easy to relax as they searched through the store. He had expected Washington to bring up their summer encounter at Goodwill when Burr had refused to talk to him but he realized Washington didn’t harbor grudges or the past against anyone.

“Try this one on.” Washington held out a navy pinstripe jacket and pants. He had guessed on the sizes, figuring a medium in a jacket since Burr was about as short as Alexander but built stockier.

Burr tried on the suit and stared at himself in the mirror. He could barely register that the young man in the suit was he, so used to seeing himself in oversized, grungy clothes full of holes.

He opened the dressing room door and Washington studied him. “How does it feel?”

“Pants are a bit tight,” Burr said. “I think the jacket fits okay.”

Washington buttoned it up and nodded as he checked the length of the sleeves. “Do you like the color?”

Burr shrugged. “I might look better in gray.”

It didn’t take Washington long to find two more option, one black and one gray.

Burr came out in the black pinstriped suit. “I really like this one.”

“It looks sharp,” Washington agreed. He checked Burr over. “We’ll have Martha hem the pants if everything else fits right.”

“Yeah.”

“Good.” Washington smiled. “Let’s find some shoes.”

Once Burr had dress shoes, Washington insisted on new socks, which led to him insisting on new undergarments, which led back the young men’s department and Burr getting two new casual shirts and a pair of jeans.

“You’re still a kid,” Washington said as he piled everyone on the checkout counter. “I know your uncle isn’t helping you at all and you shouldn’t be responsible for all your basic needs. Anything you need, you only have to ask.”

Burr stared at his feet. “I’ve always been an inconvenience.”

“You’re not.” Washington patted his shoulder. He handed his credit card to the cashier. “You’re a good boy, Aaron. I hope you can learn to trust again.”

“I believe I can.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first chapters I ever wrote for the AU!

“Wow, Washington went cheap on us,” Hamilton said as they entered the single hotel room. The day had finally come for them to travel away for the debate. He indicated to the two queen-size beds. “Pick your poison.”

“Thomas and I,” Madison said. “Not like we haven’t shared a bed before.”

Jefferson shook his head and tugged at his ear. “At least you don’t take up much space.” He pointed to Hamilton and Burr. “Enjoy each other’s company.”

“Oh, we will,” Hamilton said and grinned at Burr.

“Kill me now,” Burr muttered. “Unless someone snores, then he will die.”

“Or you could just kill Alexander now and give us all some peace,” Jefferson said.

“Fuck yourself,” Hamilton said.

“No fighting,” Madison squeaked.

Jefferson touched Madison’s thin shoulder. “Sorry.” He glanced at the rest of the group. “Shall we grab dinner?”

Madison groaned. “Can’t we get room service?”

“I want to get a drink,” Hamilton said. “I doubt my fake ID is going to work in the hotel.”

“I’m with you,” Burr said.

“James and I will stay,” Jefferson said. He smiled at his boyfriend.

Madison returned it, his bright blue eyes shining.

“Yo, T, stop eye fucking,” Hamilton said. “Let’s get out of here, Aaron.”

Burr followed him out and the door closed with a click. Jefferson grabbed the room service menu from the nightstand and flipped through it. “What do you want?” he asked Madison.

“You,” Madison said.

Jefferson bopped his head with the menu. “Food.”

“I don’t know.” Madison lay down on the bed. “I’m not really hungry.”

Jefferson set aside the menu and stroked his boyfriend’s forehead. “Nervous already?”

“I never slept away from home, T.” His voice quivered and moisture shimmered in his eyes.

“No crying, babe.” He got off the bed and opened Madison’s suitcase. He pulled out the baby blanket and two stuffed animals and handed them over.

Madison clutched his comfort items, hiding his tears, while Jefferson removed his loafers and rubbed his tiny feet.

“I’m pretty sure I saw cake on the menu,” Jefferson said. “Do you want that?”

Madison nodded.

Jefferson let go of his feet to make the call, ordering the slice of cake and a cheeseburger and fries for himself. Once he hung up, he resumed pampering his boyfriend and soothing his tears until their food arrived.

A little more than an hour later, Hamilton and Burr returned tipsy and bringing their buzzed loudness into the room. Jefferson and Madison’s food had arrived not long ago and they were still eating.

“Dang, you missed some fun, T,” Hamilton announced. He stole a fry off Jefferson’s plate.

“What happened?” Madison asked while Jefferson hoarded his plate away from grabby fingers.

“Some dudes tried to buy these girls drinks,” Hamilton said, “but they were on a date with each other. Guys wouldn’t take no for an answer. Burr and I had to tell them what-for.”

“You’re lucky you didn’t get punched,” Jefferson said. “You’re both too shrimpy to handle a bar fight.”

Hamilton rolled his eyes. “You should have come with us then, T.”

Burr poked Hamilton in the butt with his feet. “They wanted to fuck.”

Jefferson grumbled in his throat while Madison’s cheeks reddened.

“Babies,” Hamilton said with a smile. He got on the bed next to Burr and chuckled at the meme his friend showed him.

Jefferson finished his dinner and collected their dishes and put them in the hallway. He returned to find Madison glued to his phone. He plucked it from his boyfriend’s fingers and stretched out next to him. “You’ve reached the end of the Internet,” he said and tossed the phone to the edge of the bed. “Watch TV with me.”

“I wish you were drunk,” Madison muttered. He rested his head against Jefferson’s chest and snuggled his stuffed animals close.

Hamilton rolled off the bed and unzipped his suitcase. “I’m glad I’m not the only one who brought a toy.” He showed Madison his stuffed bear.

Madison smiled and returned to flipping through channels. He stopped on a medical show.

“No,” Jefferson said.

He flipped to the news.

“There you go.” Jefferson took the remote control and sank down.

Madison made a move to crawl forward to get his phone and Jefferson stopped him with an arm across his chest. Madison sighed and resigned himself to watching the news. He was the first to yawn and suggest bedtime.

“We have to be at the debate at eight,” he reminded everyone. “It’s downstairs in the convention hall. We should leave about fifteen minutes early.”

“Five minutes,” Hamilton said looking up from Burr’s phone. “It’s in the same fucking hotel. How slow do you walk?”

Madison ground his teeth. “We’re on the 18th floor; we have to take the elevator. We don’t want to be late.”

“I can run down the stairs faster.”

Madison closed his eyes briefly. “Back me up, Thomas.”

“I’ll agree with you, Jem,” Jefferson said. “Fifteen minutes early. I don’t want Washington on my ass first thing in the morning.”

“Whatever,” Hamilton said. “Aaron, you agree to this?”

“Huh?” Burr said. “I blocked you guys out.”

Hamilton tousled Burr’s hair. “You’re so adorkable.” He yawned. “Damn, I’m actually tired for once.”

“Good,” Madison said and got off the bed. He opened his suitcase and found his pajamas and toiletry bag. “I’m getting up at 5:30 so I can shower. What time is everyone else getting up?”

“How long does it take you to shower?” Hamilton asked.

“I don’t like to be rushed.” Madison stood and clutched his things to his chest. “Thomas?”

“Seven,” Jefferson said. He rolled to his side and clutched the pillow Madison had been leaning against.

“Six-thirty,” Madison insisted. “Aaron, you can get up at six. Alexander…”

Hamilton grinned.

Madison’s face fought against returning the smile. “Just don’t be an ass.” He went into the bathroom and shut the door.

“What did he say?” Burr asked eyes on his phone.

“You can get up at seven,” Hamilton said.

“‘Kay.”

Hamilton got off the bed and kicked off his boots. He pulled off his shirt and tossed it on the floor next to his shoes. He did likewise with his jeans.

“What the fuck?” Burr said.

“Getting ready for bed,” Hamilton replied as he pulled off his socks and tried to get into bed.

Burr stopped him. “Put a shirt on.”

Hamilton rolled his eyes but dug out a white t-shirt from his suitcase.

Madison soon came out of the bathroom in a coordinated pajama top and bottoms with his hair in a braid and eyes red behind his glasses. He put his clothes away neatly in his suitcase while Jefferson took his turn in the bathroom. He took a quarter of the time and came out barefoot wearing black silk pajamas.

Burr plugged his phone in and took his turn in the bathroom returning in sweats and a t-shirt.

Madison set his alarm on his phone. “Does everyone else have their alarm set?” he asked.

“We’ll rely on you, Jemmy,” Jefferson said and poked Madison in the ribs. “We know you won’t let us sleep in.”

Madison pursed his lips. “Fine.” He set his glasses on the nightstand and turned off the light.

Burr glanced at Hamilton and found him already asleep. He turned off the second light and stared in the darkness. Blankets rustled in the other bed and Madison grumbled about Jefferson’s cold feet. A door slammed somewhere down the hall.

Jefferson wrapped his arms around Madison and his comfort items and spooned him. Madison clutched onto his arm and burrowed himself close. Jefferson’s teeth nipped at his neck before his lips pressed in.

Madison elbowed him back.

“I won’t leave a mark,” Jefferson whispered and nibbled Madison’s ear. “I’m trying to distract you.”

Burr’s eyes remained open as he stared at the dark ceiling.

Hamilton rolled over and sprawled out, a leg hit Burr’s and an arm fell against Burr’s chest. Burr pushed his arm away and rolled over on his left side, away from his bedmate.

Madison guided Jefferson’s hand down to the drawstring on his flannel pants. His body twitched at the sensation. For a moment, he didn’t think about home and his own bed.

A strip of light showed through the closed curtains from the bustling city beyond the hotel walls. Burr rolled away from the light and the rustling shapes of his teammates.

Hamilton flung a hand in his face and Burr shoved him away.

Hamilton muttered an incomprehensible word and rolled away. His drew his legs up and kicked Burr in the knees.

Burr stroked Hamilton’s back.

Hamilton rolled halfway toward him. “Huh?” he muttered half-asleep.

“You’re kicking me,” Burr whispered back.

Hamilton fell back asleep.

Madison rolled out of the little spoon position, pressed his lips to Jefferson’s, and held his arms down.

Jefferson got one arm free, knocked a stuffed animal out of the way, and pulled Madison closer. He pushed his boyfriend’s pants down further, the threat of getting caught a turn on.

“I can hear you,” Burr said as he resumed staring at the ceiling.

Madison coughed and couldn’t stop. He untangled himself from Jefferson, still hacking. He got out of bed to get a drink of water and fell to his knees, forgetting that his pants were down.

Burr flicked his side of the lamp on as Madison pulled up his pants.

“Really?” Burr admonished. “Some of us already have enough trouble sleeping as it is.”

“Sorry,” Madison said, his voice breathless as he coughed again.

Jefferson shrugged. He leaned over the edge of the bed to grab Madison’s favorite unicorn-alpaca.

Burr shook his head.

Madison got a drink and returned to bed.

Burr turned the light back off and wished he could sleep as deep as Hamilton did. Quiet remained this time and eventually, he drifted off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, this is where I started with the story and it's grown insanely long in both directions. I'd love to hear your thoughts! Also, this is the first chapter of the debate convention so prepare yourself.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debate day 1

Madison’s classical music alarm went off at 5:30. He shut it off promptly. Only Burr stirred, though he didn’t wake. Madison got his clothes out of his suitcase and headed into the bathroom. He turned on the shower and examined his neck to make sure Jefferson hadn’t lied. He didn’t see any bruises there but found one on his shoulder as he pulled off his shirt.

Jefferson woke a little after six and heard the shower still running. He poked his head in the bathroom. “Jem, want to wrap it up? I want some hot water, too.”

Madison stuck his head out around the shower curtain. “Close the door, T.”

Jefferson stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

“Not what I meant.”

“Get out of the shower.”

Madison huffed. “Fine.” He reached for the towel he had left on the closed toilet seat. Jefferson snatched it first. He unfolded the towel and held it up.

Madison stepped onto the bathmat and let Jefferson wrap him in it.

Jefferson kissed the top of his head. He undressed and got into the shower himself. “Holy shit, this water is burning,” he exclaimed. “How do you stand it this hot?”

“Because of you,” Madison replied as he dried off and wrapped the towel around his waist. “I have to open the door to do my hair. It’s too humid in here.”

“Whatever,” Jefferson said.

Madison opened the bathroom door and shivered at the cooler air. He combed out his long hair and plugged in his blow dryer.

The new noise woke Burr and Hamilton. Hamilton tried to stretch and found himself cocooned in Burr’s embrace. Burr sleepily held on, but murmured, “It was the only way to keep you from kicking me.”

“Okay, well, let go now,” Hamilton said and pried Burr’s fingers off him. He got out of bed while Burr moved to his warmer spot.

Hamilton ran a hand through his wild red hair and headed into the bathroom. “Hey, T, can I join you?”

“Over my dead body!” Jefferson shouted.

“Then you better hurry the fuck up so James doesn’t freak out about us being late. It’s a quarter to seven.”

Jefferson turned the shower off. “Get out then.”

Hamilton left and closed the door.

Madison reopened it once Jefferson had a towel around his waist.

 “Did you leave me any hot water?” Hamilton asked and tried not to look at Jefferson’s toned stomach.

“No.” Jefferson picked up Madison’s comb.

Madison gave him a death glare. “Get your own.”

Jefferson rolled his eyes but left the bathroom.

“How many hair products do you need?” Hamilton asked crowding in at the sink. He picked through the bottles of leave-in conditioner and gels.

“Stop touching my stuff,” Madison complained. “Take your shower.”

Hamilton touched his shoulder and spotted the bruise. “What’d you do?”

“No idea,” Madison muttered. He moved his product bottles back in order. “Shower.”

“Fine, fine.” Hamilton turned the water back on and stripped off his t-shirt and boxers. As soon as he got in he said, “I forgot my shampoo and soap, James.”

Madison tossed his brush in the sink and grumbled as he left the bathroom. He glanced at Jefferson in his tighty-whiteys and his heart thumped in his chest.

Jefferson winked at him as he pulled on his dress pants.

Madison set Hamilton’s suitcase on the bed and cringed when he unzipped it. Everything was thrown in, including Hamilton’s suit for the day. He pulled out the dress pants, shirt, and blazer and shook his head at the wrinkles. He hated the idea of digging in further to find his shampoo and soap. Luckily, Hamilton had the sense to separate those from his clothes and Madison spotted the bottles in the top pocket.

He grabbed hangers from the hotel closet and hung Hamilton’s suit in the bathroom in the hope the steam would get out some wrinkles. “Here,” he told Hamilton and poked at the shower curtain.

Hamilton pulled the curtain back enough to show his head. He took the bottles. “So, have you and Jefferson slept together yet?”

“Fuck you,” Madison hissed and returned to the sink. He finished up and got his neatly stored suit from his suitcase.

Burr remained snuggled in bed.

“You asleep, Aaron?” Madison asked.

Burr gave a grumbled response.

“Sleep for another five minutes while I dress.”

Burr gave the same reply.

Jefferson looked up from his phone as Madison set his towel aside. “Don’t do this to me, Jem,” he murmured with a smile.

Madison grinned back as color flushed his neck and cheeks. He finished dressing and handed Jefferson his tie.

Jefferson set his phone aside and looped the tie around Madison’s neck.

“I can’t wait to strip you back down,” Madison whispered.

“Not tonight,” Jefferson replied. He smiled as Madison stood on his tiny black-socked toes so he didn’t have to bend over as much. He leaned down and brushed his lips against Madison’s, using the tie to pull his boyfriend closer. “You’re doing great, babe.”

“Hey, get a room!” Hamilton shouted as he left the bathroom.

“You’re such a prick, Alex,” Jefferson muttered. He finished tying Madison’s tie and stepped back to admire him.

“Takes one to know one.” Hamilton dug into his suitcase for socks and underwear.

Madison cringed when he saw Hamilton holding white socks. “Don’t you have black socks?”

“I dunno,” Hamilton said. He balled the socks up and threw them at Burr’s head. “Get up.”

Burr rolled out of bed and rubbed his eyes.

“I told you to get up at six,” Madison scolded. “It’s past seven. There isn’t enough time for you to shower.”

“Alex told me seven,” Burr said. He picked up his phone. “I showered yesterday, I’m good.”

Madison’s lips drew into a thin line. “Alexander.”

“Don’t look at me,” Hamilton said. “Like, literally, I’m going to drop this towel.”

Madison turned away while Burr covered his eyes. Jefferson shook his head and turned on the TV.

Hamilton got his suit from the bathroom and held it up for Madison. “Okay?”

“Not, but I don’t have an iron,” Madison fretted.

“It doesn’t look that bad,” Jefferson soothed. He patted the edge of the bed next to him. “Stop freaking out.”

“Have you met me?” Madison exploded. “Aaron, get dressed!”

Burr jumped off the bed. He grabbed his clothes and hurried into the bathroom.

“Easy, Jemmy.” Jefferson grabbed Madison’s hand. “We can take care of ourselves. Our shitty appearance won’t reflect badly on you.”

“But it will on Washington,” Madison said and pulled his hand back. His jaw bulged as he clenched his teeth. He shook his head as he watched Hamilton look for his shoes. Hamilton was so disorganized. “Your shoes are under your pile of clothes,” he said. “Get yourself together, Alex.”

“Good Lord, James,” Hamilton mumbled. He found his boots. “Everything’s fine.”

“Hey, easy,” Jefferson cautioned. “Leave him be. He’s stressed enough.”

“Aaron!” Madison shouted.

Burr opened the bathroom door; comb in hand, eyes terrified. “I’m trying to hurry,” he whispered.

Madison managed a faint smile.

“We still have fifteen minutes,” Hamilton said. He finished tying his boots. “We’re good, James.”

Burr came out of the bathroom again, tie in hand, shirt buttoned wrong as he held a bloody tissue to his nose. “Someone fix me.”

“I got this,” Jefferson said. “Keep your head back.” He tilted Burr’s chin up. He took the tie and draped it around Burr’s neck. He secured the knot and smoothed down the collar. “Did you nose stop bleeding?”

Burr pulled the tissue away. He dabbed at his nose with a clean spot. “Yeah.”

“Alright. Button your shirt and put your jacket on. Let’s go.”

Burr finished dressing and grabbed his phone.

They were all almost out the door when Jefferson pulled Madison back. “I must insist you wear shoes.”

Madison’s face turned red as he looked down at his sock-clad feet. He bolted back in the room and grabbed his loafers.

“You’re a mess, James,” Hamilton teased. He draped an arm around Madison’s shoulders. “Your hair looks awesome, by the way.”

Madison smiled.

The door clicked closed behind them at exactly 7:45.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debate day 1 continued

Washington greeted them at the door to the convention hall. He looked them over and nodded with satisfaction. “Good job, James.”

Madison beamed and glanced at Jefferson.

Jefferson nodded with a smile softening his tense face.

They followed Washington inside and to their assigned table.

“When’s breakfast?” Hamilton asked as he pushed Burr’s chair out of the way just before he sat down. Burr grabbed the table as he almost fell.

Washington pinched the bridge of his nose while a red-faced Burr found his chair. The group at the table behind them snickered.

“I need coffee,” Hamilton insisted. He picked up his name card on the table.

“No,” Washington said.

“It helps me calm down,” Hamilton reminded him.

“Fine.” Washington massaged the spot between his eyes.

Burr plucked the name card from Hamilton’s fingers. “Just shut up and sit still.”

Hamilton drummed his fingers on the table.

“Stop it, son,” Washington scolded as his drumming grew more fanatic.

“Don’t call me that here,” Hamilton muttered. He settled down as he spotted servers bringing food around.

“I’m too nervous to eat,” Madison fretted, as a plate was set before him.

“I’ll eat it,” Hamilton said already deep in his scrambled eggs. “But I thought you liked sausage.”

Madison’s face colored and Jefferson choked on his bacon.

Washington raised an eyebrow at Madison but he kept his head down and picked around at his food.

“I need ketchup,” Hamilton said.

“Be civilized for once,” Burr told him. “Ketchup doesn’t need to go on everything.”

“Yes, it does.” Hamilton flagged down a server and gave his request.

Madison and Burr exchanged a defeated look.

“You done, James?” Jefferson asked a few minutes later when Madison set his silverware across his plate.

Madison nodded and handed his plate over. Jefferson scraped the barely touched plateful onto his own.

“I called first dibs,” Hamilton complained.

Burr tossed his bacon onto Hamilton’s plate. “Shut up.”

Hamilton winked. “I’d rather have your sausage.”

“What is it about sausage?” Washington asked scanning the faces around the table.

Hamilton smirked while the rest looked away in embarrassment.

“You’re better off not knowing, sir,” Jefferson said.

Washington shook his head.

Servers cleared the plates away and offered more coffee, which Washington allowed although he wasn’t convinced it settled Hamilton down any.

“I can get out even more words out per minute now,” Hamilton said after he drained half his cup.

“You speak plenty already,” Washington said. “You’re third to speak, Alexander. I hope you boys studied last night.”

“Do what?” Hamilton said with an exaggerated dumb look on his face.

Washington rubbed his forehead.

Once the tables were cleared, aides brought in the student’s books and laptops they had brought and the half hour prep time was allotted for research. The boys worked fast having marked a lot of information in their books and helped Hamilton scribble out his opening statement.

Washington rested a hand on Burr and Madison’s shoulders. “Aaron, you’ll need to do any speaking to your teammate on stage. Jemmy’s voice won’t be loud enough.”

Burr nodded.

After a half hour, the first speaker took the stage and all other teams had to put away their books and laptops. Anyone not on the speaker’s team caught studying would be disqualified.

Burr squeezed Hamilton’s had before he went up.

Hamilton took his place at the microphone and lowered it. He stumbled at first but within a minute lost his jitters and spoke loud and concise.

Seated at their table near the stage, Burr and Madison followed his speech and made sure they were ready with anything Hamilton might look to them for help on. So in tune, Hamilton didn’t even have to pause when he looked to Burr for a cue card on a word he struggled to remember and pronounce. His speech remained smooth and he incurred no buzzes.

Washington nodded his approval as Hamilton returned to his seat.

Jefferson was tenth to speak and remained focused to pick up statements from other speakers to turn against.

He looked imposing and professional as he took the stage in his gray slacks and vest with a contrasting violet shirt. His voice was clear but soft. He stumbled once and looked to his team who scrambled for the fact he needed but were a second too late and suffered their first buzz. Jefferson continued and the second time he looked for assistance Madison was ready and held up the numbers he’d written down, as numerical statistics were Jefferson’s weakness in remembering. He finished and returned to his seat next to his boyfriend.

“Good job,” Madison whispered.

Jefferson squeezed his leg.

The morning labored on and Hamilton and Madison found it harder to stay focused.

Madison tapped Jefferson’s arm. “Do you have any candy?” he whispered.

Jefferson, eyes glued to the stage as their rival, Hercules Mulligan, spoke, dug a fun-size package of Skittles out of his pocket and handed it over.

“Lucky,” Hamilton whispered and leaned toward Washington. “Dad, do you have any candy?”

“Hush,” Washington admonished. “Pay attention.”

Madison shared a few pieces with Hamilton.

Hamilton and Jefferson gave their second speeches and Hamilton had one left for the morning session.

Madison tried to hide a yawn as he swung his legs. His focus deteriorated and Hamilton was buzzed twice in his final speech as his researchers struggled for the information they just had.

Even so, by noon the group was well in the lead. But Team Mulligan of Lafayette, Mulligan, Laurens, and Lee kept them on their toes and from getting too excited.

At lunchtime, Washington took a risk and let the group out of his sight to eat and stretch their legs. Although, Madison, Jefferson, and Burr stayed together, Hamilton disappeared in search of caffeine and Laurens.

“Alexander better not get himself into trouble,” Jefferson said as he stood with Madison and Burr against a wall. Madison managed to look even smaller sandwiched between his friends.

“Oh, he will,” replied Burr. “I saw him eyeing Laurens earlier.”

“You okay with that?” Jefferson questioned. “I know you two had a thing.”

Burr shrugged.

But they didn’t need to worry about Hamilton causing too much trouble as he came their way balancing four cans of pop on top of each other. Laurens trailed behind, an uneasy eye on the pop can tower.

“I’m pumped for the afternoon!” Hamilton shouted.

Jefferson quickly grabbed the top can as the tower wobbled.

“How many Mountain Dews have you had?” Burr asked.

“One,” Hamilton said.

“Three,” Laurens corrected.

“I really have to pee.”

“You’ll have to hold it,” Jefferson said and pointed to Washington beckoning them. “Come on, Alexander.”

Hamilton grabbed Laurens in a hug before following his teammates.

The group sat down and Washington sighed when he saw the beverage in Hamilton’s hand.

“I really have to pee, sir,” Hamilton said after he took a long drink. “Can I?”

“No,” Washington said and moved the pop can away.

“May I?”

Washington rubbed his forehead. “There isn’t time.”

The debate started and Hamilton fidgeted more than usual. His hands flew through the air as he spoke and his foot tapped on the stage. Spit flew from his mouth as he leaned over the pulpit and spoke into the microphone.

“He’s gonna pee himself as soon as this is over,” Madison told Burr.

“I’m not convinced he hasn’t already,” Burr replied.

They won the day’s debate by a few points and Hamilton rushed out as soon as the announcement was made.

Laurens took Hamilton’s seat. “That was entertaining. Bet I can get him to drink five cans tomorrow.”

“Please, don’t,” said Burr. “You don’t have to share a hotel room with him.”

Laurens smirked. “Like you haven’t shared his bed before.”

Burr looked away and pulled at his tie.

Hamilton returned and grinned at Laurens. “This table is for winners only, loser.”

“Did you make it to the bathroom in time?” Laurens asked still seated.

“For the most part.” Hamilton shoved back Laurens’ chair and sat on him. “There’s got to be a party somewhere. We should go out for drinks. My group and yours.”

“Sure.” Laurens shoved Hamilton off him. “We’ll buy you a round. When we win tomorrow, you can return the favor.”

Hamilton tugged Laurens’ ponytail. “Not going to happen, but it’s cute you think it will.”

Laurens stood and went to find his team.

Washington returned from getting their scorecard and looked more done than before having heard part of the conversation. “You boys are all underage.”

“If you think we haven’t all drank before…?” Hamilton said.

“You’re representing your school,” Washington admonished. “Don’t blow this.”

Hamilton covered his mouth to hide a grin.

“We won’t,” Jefferson said and glared at Hamilton.

“Good.” Washington glanced at his watch. “If you must go out, be back by ten o’clock.”

“Yes, sir.”

Washington left the convention hall as Laurens and his group joined the other team.

“Party time!” Lafayette shouted and high-fived Hamilton.

“Oh, dear, God, we’re going to die,” muttered Burr.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The after party.

The two teams of four headed to a nearby party. While they weren’t carded, the drinks weren’t free, unlike the college parties the boys had been to. Laurens ordered up the first round of drinks. Madison stared at his shot glasses.

“Wimping out already, I see,” teased Mulligan as everyone else prepared for a second shot.

“Don’t like the taste,” Madison said mostly to himself. Only Burr heard him over the noisy crowd.

Burr had been one of the first to gulp down his drink and now traded his cup with Madison’s. He swallowed the second shot and made a face.

Mulligan glanced back over and grinned. “Good job!”

Burr pressed a hand against his chest. “I’m dying. That burned a lot more going down than my first shot.”

“You didn’t have to,” Madison said.

Burr shrugged.

The second round came and Burr took another two shots. His head spun and had a heavy, sleepy feeling. Everything sounded a hundred times funnier and he joined in on the loud, rowdy conversation.

“Want to go back to the hotel room?” Jefferson whispered into Madison’s ear.

“I should keep an eye on Aaron,” Madison replied. “He’s had four shots.”

“You didn’t drink anything?” Jefferson’s voice didn’t betray his disappointment.

“I don’t like the taste.”

“Wait here a minute.” Jefferson headed across the room to the makeshift bar. He returned with a light pink drink. “Taste.”

“T, I don’t want to get drunk,” Madison said.

“There’s barely any alcohol in it,” Jefferson assured. He held the straw and moved it toward Madison’s lips.

Madison took a sip. Having no tolerance to alcohol, he could still taste the faint burn but the drink had enough sugar to taste good. He sucked down half of it before Jefferson pulled the straw away. Madison reached for the glass. “Don’t you want to go back to the room?”

Jefferson grinned and handed the drink over. He left for the bar again and returned with another pink drink and a whiskey for himself. They moved away from the group and found a corner where they could hear each other.

The rest of the boys went through another round of shots. Burr could barely stand and leaned against Hamilton, shouting in his ear as random gibberish spilled from his mouth.

“You’ve only had three,” Hamilton said. “How are you like this?”

“Five!” Burr shouted. He pointed a shaking finger to where Madison had been standing. “I dranked his.”

“Good Lord.” Hamilton stared at Burr’s unfocused eyes. “You should probably start sleeping this off.”

“No! ‘nother round!”

“Aaron.” Hamilton steadied Burr he lost his balance and laughed. “You’re not gonna wake up tomorrow if you drink anymore.”

“‘Nother round!”

Someone handed a drink toward Burr.

Hamilton intercepted. “He’s good.”

“I love you, Alexander!” Burr gushed and hugged him. He tripped over his feet and dragged Hamilton to the floor.

“Aaron can’t hold his liquor!” Laurens shouted and raised his glass. His buddies toasted him.

Hamilton struggled to get off the floor and pulled Burr up. “We’re leaving,” he hissed at Burr. He glanced around for Jefferson and Madison and didn’t see them. “Laurens, thanks for the drinks.” He tossed Laurens his wallet. “For the rest of it. I gotta get Aaron back to the hotel.”

Laurens saluted him. “Good luck.”

Hamilton moved Burr’s arm around his neck and tried to support his wobbly legs.

Burr stroked Hamilton’s hair. “Soft.”

“Yeah, sure.” Hamilton dragged him out the door. “Can you help a little?”

“Sleepy.” Burr’s chin dipped toward his chest and his dead weight fell against Hamilton’s body.

“Oh, fuck you,” Hamilton muttered. His own head buzzed and his feet stumbled as he crossed the street. He almost hoped to find Washington waiting inside the hotel to assist him. But there was no help and he staggered toward the elevator.

He propped Burr up against the wall, knowing he’d never get him off the floor if he let go. He jammed his thumb into eighteen and squinted as the lights of the buttons blurred together.

He started as the elevator dinged and the door opened. He dragged Burr out and to the end of the hall. He then realized his key card was in the wallet he’d given Laurens. He banged on the door, hoping Jefferson and Madison were inside.

“They’ll go away,” Jefferson said as he and Madison listened to the pounding on the door. He pressed his lips back against Madison’s and slipped his tongue inside his mouth.

Madison kissed back for a moment. “This is their room, though. Aaron was pretty messed up. He needs to sleep it off.”

“Babe…” Jefferson ran his hand down Madison’s back and squeezed his bare ass. “I don’t want to stop. You know how long it takes me to get in the mood.”

Hamilton continued to pound on the door.

“Someone will call security,” Madison said. “Sorry.” He slipped off Jefferson and found his underwear. Hamilton and Burr fell against him as he opened the door. The three crashed to the floor in a heap.

Burr laughed hysterically and tears ran down his cheeks.

Jefferson threw some clothes on and helped get everyone up. He tossed Burr on the nearest bed. Burr continued to laugh and squirm. “What the fuck?”

“Five shots are too many for Aaron,” Hamilton said.

“No shit.”

Hamilton glanced at Madison in his underwear and Jefferson in his suit pants. “Bad timing?”

“No, it’s—” Madison started.

“Yes,” Jefferson interrupted. “But, whatever. You guys can deal with Burr. I’m going to bed.”

“Sorry,” Hamilton whispered to Madison.

Madison ducked his head. “It’s okay. Help me get Aaron out of his suit. He has to wear it tomorrow.”

Both foggy headed, it was even more of a struggle to control Burr’s flailing limbs. Burr squirmed and giggled as every inch of him became ticklish. He grasped limply at Madison’s wrist as Madison undid his belt.

“Do me,” he said and busted out laughing.

Madison glanced at Hamilton’s alcohol-reddened cheeks and his glassy eyes. He tipped over as he tried to pull Burr’s arm from his suit jacket. “We’re screwed tomorrow, Alex.”

Hamilton managed to get the jacket off. “No, fuck.”

Madison tugged Burr’s pants off and held him still while Hamilton unbuttoned his shirt. They left him to wiggle around on the blankets half-naked. Madison hung the suit up as Hamilton undressed.

“What time are we getting up?” Hamilton asked. He pushed Burr to one side of the bed and pulled back the covers.

“Seven?” Madison suggested.

Hamilton gave a thumbs up and crashed into his pillow.

Madison returned to Jefferson’s side and cuddled into him. “Sorry.”

Jefferson patted his chest and rolled over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts so far? Thank you for reading!


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after.

No one set an alarm.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, gentleman?”

Madison jolted upright at Washington’s booming voice. Sunlight streamed in through the pulled-back curtains. The red numbers on the digital clock on the nightstand glared its disapproval. 8:13.

“Sir,” Madison’s squeaked as his eyes stung and threatened tears.

Jefferson and Hamilton slowly rose and squinted in the sunlight.

“Be glad you’re only missing breakfast,” Washington snarled. “I doubt any of you could stomach eating. Get up. Now.”

Madison hurried out of the covers and grabbed his suit from the closet. The bathroom door slammed behind him as tears rolled down his cheeks.

Jefferson hesitated under the covers, not wanting to add more fuel to Washington’s fire if he noted that he and Madison had slept in their underwear, although, Hamilton and Burr had as well.

“I said ‘now’, boys,” Washington roared.

Jefferson and Hamilton scurried up and stumbled into each other as they grabbed their suits.

“What’s wrong with Aaron?” Washington asked. He grabbed Hamilton’s arm as he attempted to put his pants on and tripped.

“He…” Hamilton hesitated.

“Five shots, sir,” Jefferson said. He slipped on his suit jacket and searched out his and Madison’s shoes.

Washington shook his head. “You’ll forfeit with only three team members.”

“We know, sir,” Hamilton said. He finished buckling his belt and shook Burr’s arm. “Wakey, wakey.”

Burr moaned and covered his eyes.

“It’s past eight and we’re in the shits,” Hamilton informed him. “Daddy’s here so up you get.”

Burr moaned again. “I’m dying.”

“Yup.” Hamilton pulled back the top blanket Burr had managed to get beneath at some point and untangled him from the sheet he’d gotten under one leg.

Burr kept his eyes closed and held his hands against his rolling stomach. “Not so much movement,” he groaned.

“It’s about to get worse.” Hamilton slipped an arm under Burr and propped him up.

Burr covered his mouth as his stomach weakened.

Washington looked at his watch. “Breakfast will be over in a half hour. Throw him in the shower, Alexander.”

“I got him,” Jefferson said. He scooped Burr up easily and knocked on the bathroom door.

Madison let him in and turned on the shower. Jefferson left Burr in his underwear and set him in the tub. Burr fought the water spraying in his face.

Jefferson closed the bathroom door and pulled Madison close. “Don’t blame yourself.” He kissed the top of Madison’s head. “I shouldn’t have wanted to get you drunk. I’m sorry I got mad at you last night.”

“I understand and forgive you,” Madison said and pressed his face into Jefferson’s chest. “Besides, you didn’t force me to drink three of those fruity drinks.”

Jefferson stroked his hair.

“I’m drowning,” Burr groaned from the bathtub. “What happened?”

Madison pulled away from his boyfriend. “You got drunk. We have, like, twenty minutes to get ourselves together and get downstairs.”

“I’m gonna puke.” Burr dragged himself half out of the tub and flipped up the seat of the toilet. He threw up several times and resigned himself back under the shower spray.

“Get it together, Burr,” Washington commanded through the bathroom door.

Jefferson touched Madison’s cheek. “Make yourself look pretty. I’ll get Aaron dried off and dressed. We’ll be ready in five minutes.”

Madison nodded.

Jefferson kept his word and soon had Burr dressed and standing on his feet. Madison used some of his makeup to hide Burr’s gray pallor.

“Ready?” Washington asked as he looked at his watch. “We have five minutes.”

Jefferson hoisted Burr onto his back. Madison checked to make sure his shoes were on while Hamilton staggered to his feet.

Although all four of them felt ready to throw up, they made it to their seats without a second to spare.

Laurens winked at Hamilton from a few tables over. His group looked alive and well rested.

“I think your friend poisoned us,” Madison hissed at Hamilton.

“He does hate losing,” Hamilton said.

“Focus,” Washington said as he approached the table. He set down four ginger ales. “Do your best.”

“We’re still gonna win, sir,” Hamilton said. He popped open one of the cans.

The morning didn’t go as well as Hamilton believed. He and Jefferson stumbled over their words as Madison’s heavy head struggled to take in information to pass on. His voice wasn’t loud enough to be heard by his team on stage and he wasted time repeating himself and got buzzed when he approached the stage. Burr just did his best to stay awake and not vomit. He nearly failed at the latter in mid-morning when he caught a whiff of Lafayette’s strong cologne.

Madison was quick to hand him a handkerchief as foamy liquid spilled out of his mouth.

“We’re in third,” Hamilton announced at the lunch break. “I’m exhausted.”

Burr rested his head against the table.

“Even if we don’t win today, we can still cause a tie tomorrow,” Jefferson said. “We’ll be fine then and can beat any tie-breaker.”

“Sure,” Hamilton said without conviction.

Laurens stopped by their table. “Ya’ll look like hot messes and not in a good way. What happened, Alex?”

“Not now, John,” Hamilton said. “Did you spike our drinks?”

Laurens ran a hand through Hamilton’s red hair. “That would be cheating. You guys just can’t hold your liquor. Although you ought’a blame Jefferson for getting your precious Jemmy drunk. I saw Aaron drink his shots.”

Madison shook his head. “I’ll take the blame.”

“No, John’s right,” said Jefferson. “You were right to not want to drink anything, Jem. You agreed because you didn’t want to let me down against your better judgment. I’ll take full blame if we lose.”

“I’ve no problem with that,” Hamilton said. “A word, John?”

Laurens followed Hamilton out of the convention hall.

“Look, Ham,” John said, “I’m sor—”

Hamilton shoved him against the nearest wall and smashed his lips into Laurens’. Laurens grabbed Hamilton’s face and pulled him closer. Their teeth hit as they tongue-lashed each other. Hamilton wrapped an arm around Lauren’s waist and pressed him closer until their crotches ground together.

Laurens pulled back to take a breath. “Hotel sex,” he murmured. He brushed Hamilton’s hair back before running his hand down the buttons on Hamilton’s shirt. “I want these clothes on the floor.”

Hamilton kissed his lips. “Tonight.”

“Now.”

“John, we’re in public.”

Laurens kissed him. “Hush, silly.” He took Hamilton’s hand and led him to an empty lounge. He shut the door and slipped a chair under the door handle. “We don’t have much time but I know how fast your mouth can go.”

Hamilton grinned. “You have no idea.”

 

“Aaron, wake up.” Madison nudged Burr. “Second round starts in a few minutes. Where’s Alex?”

Burr pushed himself up and chugged a glass of water on the table. “That didn’t help.” He pressed a hand to his mouth.

“Keep it in,” Jefferson said. “If I shout ‘John Laurens is a prick’ do you think he’ll respond?”

“No need,” Madison said and pointed to the doors.

Hamilton parted ways from Laurens and hurried over to their table as he straightened his clothes.

“Did you seriously…” Jefferson trailed off shaking his head. “You have no morals, Alexander.”

“That would be no fun,” Hamilton said. He looked across the room and smiled at Laurens.

The second half of the debate pushed the group into second place only a few points behind Lauren’s team.

“We defend our honor tomorrow,” Madison said as they headed up to their hotel room. No one even suggested going out.

“Can you stay clear-headed against Laurens?” Jefferson questioned Hamilton.

“Huh?” Hamilton said.

Jefferson exchanged a grimace with Madison. “We’re still dead.”

“I still am,” Burr groaned.

Jefferson pressed the button for the elevator. “Unfortunately, I think you’ll live.”

“Fuck.” Burr leaned against Hamilton as they rode the elevator up. “You smell different.”

“ _Scente de Laurents_ ,” Jefferson teased in a fake French accent.

“Burr is also still drunk,” Hamilton said.

“You didn’t deny it earlier,” Madison reminded him.

“Yeah, well, I was still drunk then, too.”

“Turning your back on John so soon?” Jefferson said.

“I want to win, Thomas,” Hamilton said.

Jefferson clapped him on the shoulder. “Good. Because, Alex, we might need you to use your charm to knock Laurens off his game as he did us. Is that possible and not let yourself get distracted?”

“Yes,” Hamilton said.

Jefferson smiled. “Good.”

The elevator dinged and they exited and headed for the end of the hallway. Burr dropped on his bed at once.

“Not in your suit,” Madison fretted.

“Bite me,” Burr retorted in a muffle with his face pressed into his pillow.

“Someone ought to,” Hamilton said. “He’s being a baby.”

Madison touched Hamilton’s shoulder. “Make sure you change. That suit is still wrinkled.”

Jefferson didn’t wait for Madison to scold him and changed into his pajamas.

Madison coaxed Burr up enough to help him change. Once Madison was satisfied, they lounged on their beds and watched TV. Jefferson complied with watching sitcoms rather than the news.

“What’re we doing for dinner?” Hamilton asked during a commercial. “Room service?”

“I don’t want to move,” Madison said, snuggled against Jefferson, baby blanket under his chin. “Yes, from me.”

“No complaints,” Jefferson said. “Aaron?”

“Ugh,” Burr replied.

“You need to eat something,” Hamilton said. He grabbed the menu and browsed through. “Maybe, like, a baked potato?”

“Sure,” Burr mumbled.

After everyone had a chance to decide, Jefferson placed the order and they resumed watching TV.

Food arrived as Hamilton started to complain about starving. Burr propped himself up and nibbled small bites of his potato.

“I’m surprised Washington wasn’t angrier,” Jefferson commented as he picked some French fries off Madison’s plate.

 “Probably went easy on us for James’ sake,” Hamilton replied.

“Or yours.” Burr nudged his foot. “You’re his baby.”

Hamilton rolled his eyes.

“Let’s just forget it,” Madison said. “I don’t like getting in trouble.

Dinner was finished and Jefferson got up to take a shower so they’d be less rushed in the morning.

Madison cuddled his comfort items as he stared at the TV. Hamilton got off his bed and joined him.

“You’re doing really good, James,” he said in a soft voice and stroked Madison’s cheek. “I’m really proud of you.”

A faint smile tugged at Madison’s lips. He leaned against Hamilton and relaxed as his friend stroked his arm.

They stayed cuddled together until Jefferson came out of the bathroom.

“No,” he said when he spotted them together on his bed. “I’m not sleeping with Aaron.”

Hamilton grinned and patted the spot next to him. “How about you and me, T?”

“No.” Jefferson glared at him.

“Don’t worry,” said Madison, “I was just using him until you returned.”

“Thank God. Scram, Ham.”

Hamilton scooted off the bed and returned to Burr who had fallen asleep.

Madison headed into the bathroom to take out his contact lenses then snuggled under the covers with Jefferson and they watched the news.

“What time do you want us up, James?” Hamilton asked as he scrolled on his phone.

“I’m getting up at 5:30,” Madison said. “Six for you, Alex? Six-thirty, T?”

“Okay.” Hamilton set his alarm. Madison and Jefferson did likewise.

Lights out followed shortly and the room fell into silence.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> End of Debate storyline

Violins announced morning and Madison shut off his phone. Jefferson stirred next to him, an arm around one of the stuffed animals. Madison slipped out and gathered his things in the dark. He was out of the shower when Hamilton’s alarm went off at top volume.

“Oh, God, now I have a headache already,” Burr grumbled while Hamilton struggled to find his phone under the blankets.

“Sorry.” Hamilton shut off the alarm. He stretched and went into the bathroom.

“Good morning,” Madison said as he rubbed lotion in his face.

“Too early,” Hamilton grumbled. He studied himself in the mirror and rubbed at his scruffy red fuzz. “You don’t care if I shower?”

“No. I don’t think you even bothered to ask me that the first time you did.”

“My bad.” Hamilton turned on the water and stripped off his boxers and t-shirt.

Burr joined Madison at the bathroom sink.

“You don’t look any more dead than usual,” Madison told him. “That—” He pointed to the stubble on Burr’s face. “—needs to go.”

“Nah, I’m gonna gro—” He stopped teasing at the horror in Madison’s eyes. “On it.” He fetched a razor from his suitcase.

“Should I leave the water on for you, Aaron?” Hamilton asked peeling back the shower curtain.

“Sure,” Burr said. “I’m almost done shaving.”

“Can I borrow that?”

Burr sighed. “I suppose.” He handed Hamilton a towel and turned away.

“Prude,” Hamilton teased. He tucked the towel in around his waist as water trickled down his chest and legs.

“Yes,” Burr agreed. “And I’d appreciate if you could step out until I’m in the shower.”

Hamilton pointed at Madison. “But not him?”

“I like him better,” Burr said.

“We’re on a tight schedule,” Madison muttered.

Hamilton stepped out of the bathroom until Madison told him it was okay. The two soon finished in the bathroom and gave Burr some privacy.

“Good to go, Alexander?” Jefferson asked. He stood dressed and ready in between the beds watching the news.

“Yeah,” Hamilton said as he buttoned his shirt. “Laurens is a slut; it won’t be hard to distract him.”

“Laurens is your friend, I hate to hear what you call me behind my back,” Jefferson teased.

“It’s ain’t pretty.” Hamilton grinned.

Burr joined them fully dressed and sat on the edge of his bed. “I’m starving.” He rested his elbows on his knees, head in his hands.

Madison wrung his hands together. “You’re wrinkling your pants, Aaron.”

Burr sat up straight.

“We still have a half hour,” Jefferson said.

“We can go down and surprise Washington,” Madison said. “Better than making ourselves nervous.”

Jefferson and Hamilton glanced at each other. Nerves weren’t really their thing.

Washington met them downstairs ten minutes letter. He eyed them and nodded his head in satisfaction. “That’s my proper team.” He patted Madison’s shoulder. “Good job.”

Madison beamed.

They found their table inside the convention hall. Hamilton looked around for Laurens.

“Excuse me.” Hamilton stood and left his half-finished breakfast. He moved a few tables over and rested his hands on Lauren’s shoulders. “Good morning, Jack.”

Laurens tilted his head back to look at him. “Hammy. Ready to face defeat?”

“Nope.” He smiled at the others at the table and lowered his head to whisper in Laurens’ ear. “Noon? Same place?”

A smile crept across Laurens’ face. He nodded.

Hamilton straightened. He nodded to Mulligan, Lafayette, and Lee. “Gentlemen.”

He returned to his breakfast and the curious stares of his teammates. He didn’t dare say anything with Washington around but gave a faint nod to Jefferson.

When the topic was announced a little later, a smile split Hamilton’s face in two. It was on whether business dress was becoming too casual and if formal attire gave a too unapproachable vibe. He could see his speech already formed in his mind.  How he could use it to seduce Laurens and knock him off his game.

“I’m afraid of what you’re going to do,” Jefferson murmured as Hamilton assured their researchers that he wouldn’t need any help.

Hamilton smiled.

He took the stage as the fifth speaker. Within a few words, he discarded his suit jacket. His plan was visually to show when business dress became too casual. He watched Laurens frequently, making eye contact with him at keywords.

He pulled his tie off, twirling it around as he spoke. He tossed it aside, locked eyes with Laurens, and unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt.

“He better not end up naked on stage,” Jefferson grimaced as they watched Hamilton untuck his shirt.

“Laurens is practically drooling,” Burr said. “He speaks right after. If Alex can keep him flustered…” He trailed off as Hamilton popped another two buttons of his shirt open.

Washington remained stone-faced watching the spectacle, too afraid to ask questions.

Hamilton’s shirt was completely unbuttoned and he dropped his hand to his belt.

“I can’t watch,” Madison whispered and covered his eyes.

“Yeah, don’t,” said Jefferson.

Hamilton tossed his belt toward Laurens. He moved his hand as if to unbutton his pants. “But that would be too far.” He winked at Laurens and bowed. He gathered his clothes and returned to his seat while Laurens staggered on stage.

“What point were you trying to make, son?” Washington asked. Color remained on his cheeks at the embarrassing showdown.

“That sex sells,” Hamilton replied as he buttoned his shirt. He grinned as he watched Laurens stammer to get out any words and was buzzed multiple times.

By noon, they were in the lead and not likely to be defeated.

Hamilton disappeared while the other three headed to the bathroom after lunch.

“What we did wasn’t cheating, was it?” Madison asked as he fixed his hair.

“No,” Burr said. “If Laurens couldn’t control himself, that wasn’t ours or Alex’s fault. Right, T?”

“Dude, I don’t think I could have spoken after Alexander’s performance.” Jefferson zipped up his pants.

Madison glared at him.

“What?” Jefferson looked at his boyfriend. “You know I can’t stand the guy, but he could be a dang good stripper.”

Madison shook his head. “Let’s go.”

“Where’s Alexander?” Washington questioned as he met them outside the bathroom.

“Getting hot with Laurens,” Lafayette called out to them as he and Lee approached. “You guys are the worst.”

“Alexander gave a good speech,” Jefferson said. “It’s not our fault Laurens couldn’t hold it together. You guys did worse to sabotage our team.”

“We’re going to get in trouble,” Madison muttered half to himself.

“So that was planned?” Lafayette said.

“Same as you planned to get us all wasted as fuck.”

Washington grimaced but he didn’t intervene.

“Your precious Jemmy needed a little liquid courage.” Lee pointed at the shortest of the group. “Look at him. He’s quivering already.”

Jefferson stepped in front of his boyfriend easily blocking him from view. “Don’t mock him.”

Lee rolled his eyes while Lafayette said, “We’re gonna knock you out this last round. Don’t think we aren’t good enough.” He turned around as Hamilton and Laurens tried to sneak out of the empty lounge. “Well, looks who’s shown up.”

“Fuck,” Hamilton muttered.

Washington chose that moment to bail, but made a point of walking between his foster sons. He shook his head at Hamilton.

“Hate the game, don’t hate the player,” Hamilton told Lafayette. “You’re stupid if you didn’t think I’d defend my team. You don’t take out my friends.”

Laurens grabbed Hamilton’s arm. “You fucking played me, you twat.”

Hamilton rolled his eyes. “No. Don’t be dramatic.”

“I’ll be as fucking dramatic as I want to me.” His grip tightened on Hamilton’s arm. “I should have known you were up to something. Alexander Hamilton is never satisfied.”

Hamilton twisted his arm free. “So what if I’m not? I like to win, John. If I can fuck you in the process, then double points to me.”

“You two need to get your shit together,” Jefferson said. “Alex, are we gonna win or not?”

Hamilton turned away from Laurens. “Yes.”

The four headed back in the convention hall and took their seats.

Even revenge couldn’t give Laurens’ team the edge although they only lost by a few points.

“Good job,” Washington congratulated them. “I’m proud of all of you.”

Madison and Burr smiled. Jefferson tried to hide his pleasure but a grin slipped out. Hamilton was already looking for his next project, though, and disappeared into the crowd.

“He better just be looking for the cake,” Washington said. “I trust you boys to behave yourself. We head home at eight tomorrow morning.”

“Yes, sir,” Madison said. As Washington walked away, he tugged on Jefferson’s sleeve. “I want cake.”

Jefferson rested a hand on his head. “I know you do. Aaron?”

Aaron hid a yawn. “Okay.”

They found the table with cake but no sign of Hamilton. As they ate, Lee walked toward them, own piece of cake in hand.

“Is it true that you and James are dating?” he asked Jefferson.

“Yeah,” Jefferson said. “What’s it to you?”

“Nothing,” Lee said. “I think it’s sweet. But it could be sweeter.” He smashed his plate of cake in Madison’s face.

“You fuck!” Jefferson shouted and punched Lee in the face. Lee stumbled back as blood ran from his nose.

Madison pulled out his handkerchief and Burr helped him clean the cake off his face. Tears welled in Madison’s eyes while Burr tried to soothe him.

A circle grew around Jefferson and Lee as they continued to throw punches at each other.

“Stop it!” Hamilton shouted. He and Laurens parted the crowd. “What the fuck, you guys?” He spotted Burr trying to clean cake out of Madison’s hair. “Did you do that, Charles?”

“I did it for Laurens,” Lee said.

“Quit picking on James. What did he ever do to you?”

“Look at him.” Lee pointed. “He’s an easy target.”

“And Thomas is going to protect him at any cost,” Hamilton reminded him. “Maybe you should rethink your strategy. John and I are still friends. Don’t be a jerk, Charles.”

Lee’s lip twitched but he didn’t retort. He wiped at the blood above his lip. He shook his head and walked away.

Laurens touched Hamilton’s shoulder and went with his teammate.

“I’m sorry you, guys,” Hamilton told his group. “I take things too far. That wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t blown up at John earlier. But we did win.”

“Nearly costing James and Aaron their lives,” Jefferson said. He brushed crumbs off Madison’s shirt.

“It was some alcohol and a fucking piece of cake,” Hamilton retorted. “I don’t think we sacrificed much.”

“He’s right,” Madison whimpered. “It’s just cake, T.”

Jefferson shook his head, face distraught as he looked down at his boyfriend. “Aaron?”

“Yeah, I almost died,” said Burr. “You’ll never hear me say Alex was right. But I am glad we won.”

“High five,” Hamilton said and held his hand up to Burr.

“Yeah, no,” Burr said.

Hamilton rolled his eyes and let his hand drop.

“We’re going back to the hotel room,” Jefferson said. “Alex?”

Hamilton looked around at the party, then at his teammates. It had been a long time since he’d hung out with Laurens and Lafayette but… “Fine.”

Once out of the crowd, Jefferson scooped up Madison and carried him back to their room.

“I practically did that with you the other night, Burr,” Hamilton said. “You should appreciate me more.”

Burr stopped in the middle of the hallway and pulled Hamilton’s sleeve.

Hamilton stopped and looked at him, brow creased.

“No,” Burr said and managed not to crack a smile.

Hamilton pushed him teasingly. “Fuck you.”

Burr smiled. “Race you.”

They bolted down the hallway rushing past Jefferson.

“I win!” Hamilton shouted.

“By an inch,” Burr said.

“Hey, an inch is an inch. I bet you’re not one to complain.” He glanced at Burr’s crotch.

Burr’s face reddened. “I—I’m—don’t—” he stammered and was put out of his misery by Jefferson and Madison catching up to them. Madison handed Burr the room key.

“Last night,” Jefferson said as he set Madison on their bed. “We should do something more exciting than just watch TV.”

“We could have stayed at the party,” Hamilton said.

“Not with your loud mouth,” Jefferson retorted. “The hotel has a hot tub, right? We can grab some champagne—”

“Sounds like a great night for you and James,” Hamilton interrupted. “Hot tub sounds great, but I’m not drinking some pansy champagne. What about you, Aaron?”

“I agree,” Burr said.

“Really?” Madison asked. “You still want alcohol after what happened?”

Burr shrugged.

“Let him have what he wants,” Jefferson said. “Alex and I will go get some drinks and food.”

“We just got to the eighteenth floor,” Hamilton complained.

“Via elevator,” Jefferson said. “Stop complaining.”

“Hard lemonade,” Burr said.

“I want Oreo’s,” Madison chimed in. “And those chocolate cupcakes.”

“Want a Twinkie, too?” Hamilton teased.

Madison’s face colored. “T, make him stop.”

Jefferson pushed Hamilton toward the door. “We’ll be back shortly.”

The door closed with a click and Madison sat on the bed next to Burr. “We didn’t bring swimsuits.”

“Yeah, just realized that,” Bur said. “I’m not getting naked in a hot tub with Alex. I think he was hitting on me a few minutes ago.”

“I thought you wanted to…bang him?” Madison’s cheeks pinked.

Burr rubbed at his short hair. “Exactly. I think you still have some cake in your hair.”

“Ugh.” Madison headed into the bathroom, Burr behind him. Madison cringed when he saw himself in the mirror. “I look horrible. Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because you still look perfect,” Burr said. “You got hit with a piece of cake and still no one looks as amazing as you.”

Madison pursed his lips. “You’re just saying that.” He soaked a washcloth and wiped the stickiness off his cheeks and forehead. Some crumbs and icing still clung to the hair framing his face.

It didn’t take long for Hamilton and Jefferson to return laden with paper and plastic bags.

“We didn’t bring swimsuits,” Madison said as Jefferson handed him the package of Oreo’s.

“Our underwear will be fine,” Jefferson said.

“I’m going nude,” Hamilton said and took a swig from a bottle of whiskey.

“No,” said his teammates.

“You guys are zero fun.” He handed the bottle to Jefferson.

Jefferson took a drink. “Let’s find the hot tub.”

Madison and Burr grabbed some towels from the bathroom.

The pool room was empty. Burr and Hamilton stripped down first. Madison cringed at their discarded suits on the grimy floor. He laid down a towel for his and Jefferson’s clothes.

“A toast to our win,” Hamilton said holding up his bottle of whiskey.

Jefferson and Madison raised plastic cups of champagne and Burr raised a hard lemonade.

“And to our next win,” said Jefferson.

“To you and James getting laid,” Hamilton said with a smirk.

“Alex!” Madison whined.

“How about to us not having killed each other,” Burr suggested.

The team agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think?


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nelly is nosy.

Madison heard his bedroom door open but pretended to be asleep the morning after the debate. His parents hadn’t left him alone since his return, pestering him with questions on his health and if he did anything like have sex or drink.

“Jemmy?” Mr. Madison whispered.

Madison remained still.

“I’ll check on you again before we go to church,” he murmured and closed the door.

Madison rolled over and reached for his phone. Seven in the morning. He texted Jefferson to see if he was awake and wanted to come over. Jefferson replied at once in the affirmative. Madison set an alarm for eight-thirty and let himself drift back to sleep.

He didn’t hear his dad check on him again but jolted awake when his alarm went off. He slipped out of bed and cracked open his door. In the distant hallway, he could hear footsteps running and one of his younger sisters, Sarah, yelling that she was trying to hurry.

A few minutes later, the house fell silent. Madison ran downstairs and watched Jefferson’s truck pull into the driveway.

Jefferson got out of his truck. “Good morning, Jem.”

Madison smiled. “Morning.”

Jefferson followed him inside and up to Madison’s room.

As soon as he closed the door, Madison buried himself in Jefferson’s body and stretched up on his toes.

Jefferson bent down to kiss him and slip his hands under Madison’s t-shirt. He lifted Madison up, his hands feeling every rib on his boyfriend’s fragile body. He moved away from the door and dropped Madison on the bed.

Madison sat up and reached for the button on Jefferson’s jeans.

“What’s your goal here, Jem?” Jefferson asked as his boyfriend struggled with the button. “How are you having trouble with that?”

“I don’t usually unbutton other people’s jeans,” Madison muttered. “It’s really in there.”

“Seriously, babe.” Jefferson undid the button.

“Huh.”

Jefferson rolled his eyes. “What do you want me to do?”

“I’m actually not sure,” Madison admitted.

“Here.” Jefferson grabbed the hem of Madison’s t-shirt and pulled it over his head. He hooked his arm behind his boyfriend’s knees and knocked him gently onto the bed.

Madison dug his toes into the waist of Jefferson’s jeans and pushed them down as their lips met. He pulled away briefly to tug off Jefferson’s shirt. He climbed on top of him and ran his lips down Jefferson’s chest.

Jefferson slid up the bed, untangling his feet from the last few inches of his jeans. He pulled Madison with him while using a foot to hold Madison’s pants in place to slide them off. It was almost too easy to manipulate Madison, and Jefferson found himself conscious of how often he moved him to where he wanted. “Stop me at any time,” he said.

“I’m good,” Madison whispered. He straddled Jefferson’s waist and sucked on his nipples. Jefferson’s body tensed underneath him.

Jefferson closed his eyes and let himself sink into the bed and Madison’s tongue. He tensed again as Madison’s lips moved lower and Madison scooted his body further down his legs.

“Easy,” Jefferson said as Madison went for his underwear.

Madison stopped and crawled back up him. He nestled his face against Jefferson’s neck and nibbled his ear.

Jefferson wrapped his arms around him. “You’re doing all the work, babe,” he said.

Madison traced his lips. “I know you prefer that.” He brushed his lips against Jefferson’s neck and down his throat. He let his tongue trail down and sucked on his nipples.

Jefferson squirmed away. “I dunno.” Once had been enough.

Madison sat back, straddled over his waist. “Whatever you want to do, T.”

“I’m not sure now,” said Jefferson having exhausted his interest.

“That’s okay,” Madison said. “Stop me whenever.” His slender fingers stroked down Jefferson’s sides and ever lower until rubbing against his crotch.

“Keep going,” Jefferson said. “I won’t stop you this time.”

Madison started to pull his briefs down but he suddenly tensed and looked toward the door. “What time is it?” he hissed.

Jefferson grabbed Madison’s phone off the nightstand. “Only nine-thirty.”

Madison got off the bed and went to the door. He peered through the old-fashion keyhole as he listened. He opened the door a crack. “What’re you doing, Nelly?” he called to his nine-year-old sister.

“Checking on you,” she said.

Jefferson heard her footsteps growing louder and guessed she had been near the end of the hall. How long had she been listening?

“Why?” Madison demanded. He kept the door open only a crack, which did nothing to maintain his innocence.

“Because you’re ill,” Nelly said.

“Why didn’t you go to church?”

“I can pretend I’m sick, too. I know Thomas is in there with you. I saw his truck in the driveway.”

“Just go away and don’t tell,” Madison pleaded. His sister stood in front of the door now, hands on her hips.

“No.”

Madison closed the door and leaned against it. The doorknob rattled. “It doesn’t lock,” Madison hissed at Jefferson as the door jerked against him.

Jefferson got off the bed and held the door easily closed with one hand against Nelly’s attempts.

“I’m telling Dad!” Nelly shouted.

“He knows we’re dating,” Madison replied. He looked at Jefferson. “I think.”

“Yeah, but are you guys supposed to be alone in your room when no one is home?” Nelly retorted.

“We were alone in a hotel for debate,” Madison said.

“You’re gross.”

“Go away, Nelly.”

Madison heard her huff and listened to her footsteps walk away. He peered through the keyhole and nodded to Jefferson. “She’s gone.”

Jefferson relaxed his hold on the door. “I’m not getting you in trouble, am I?” He retreated to the bed and pulled on his jeans. “If I’m not supposed to be over when your parents aren’t home…”

“They trusted me in a hotel room with you,” Madison said. He got dressed as well.

“Yeah, but with two other guys.” Jefferson pulled on his shirt. “They would never trust you alone somewhere with just me, would they?”

Madison shrugged.

“I’ll go.” Jefferson kissed his head. “Probably best if my truck isn’t in the driveway when your parents returned.”

Madison sighed. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”


	31. Chapter 31

Mrs. Madison drove her son to school the next morning.

“There’s Thomas,” Madison said and pointed ahead.

His mom pulled up to the curb and Madison got out.

“Good morning, Mrs. Madison,” Jefferson said as he grabbed his boyfriend’s backpack from the back seat. He slipped it over one shoulder, no chance of both straps fitting across his back, and adjusted his hold on his own books.

“Good morning, Thomas,” Mrs. Madison said. “Take care of my boy.”

“Always, ma’am.”

Madison closed the car door and waved to his mom. She drove off and they headed toward campus. Jefferson dropped him off at his first class with Hamilton and Burr.

Hamilton smiled at Madison. “You alright? You look tired.”

“Yeah,” Madison said as he stared at his desk.

Hamilton took his usual seat behind him. He watched Madison as class started. Normally Madison took copious notes in the shorthand and code only he and Jefferson knew. But today he only wrote a few things longhand and mostly drew stars and hearts.

When class ended, Hamilton was normally first out of his seat, but he waited for Madison to gather his things.

Madison struggled with a stuck zipper on his backpack and his hands began to shake.

“I got it, James.” Hamilton reached for the backpack and fixed the zipper. “Are you okay?”

Madison shook his head as his lip quivered.

 “Do you want to go home?”

Madison nodded.

Hamilton took his hand. “Let’s find Thomas.”

Tears spilled down Madison’s cheeks and his breathing came in short gasps.

Hamilton pulled Madison into an empty hallway. “Can I hold you?”

Madison nodded as his body trembled.

Hamilton pulled him close and secure. “I got you. I know you’re scared. Deep breaths, okay? Breathe with me.”

Madison sobbed harder and Hamilton searched back in his mind for other techniques his therapist had suggested to him to cope with his own anxiety. “What do you see, James?”

Madison pressed his face into Hamilton’s chest. “No.”

“Hey, hey, baby, it’s okay.” Hamilton rubbed his back. “Come on, describe something to me.” He kept his voice light and happy.

Madison pulled back a little and hiccupped, “Purple Aeropostale shirt.”

“Good, keep going. What does it feel like?”

Madison kneaded Hamilton’s t-shirt in his hands. “Stretchy knit.”

“Perfect. What do you smell?”

Madison’s breathing evened out a little as he took a deep breath. “Coconut?” He took another breath. “Deodorant. Baby powder-ish.”

“Apparently I need a new brand of deodorant,” Hamilton said with a chuckle. “What do you hear?”

“You, blabbering.” Madison wiped his eyes. “Thank you, Alex.”

Hamilton pulled him close again. “You’re welcome. I can take you home. I don’t have anything to do right now.”

Madison cringed. “You missed class.”

“You’re more important.” Hamilton let go and took his hand. “My truck isn’t as nice as Thomas’ but it’ll get us home.”

Madison followed him to the parking lot. He texted Jefferson that he was going home and would let him know how he was feeling later.

After he dropped Madison off, Hamilton drove to Mount Vernon and let himself in. The dogs raced to the front door barking up a storm.

Mrs. Washington came out of the kitchen. “What’s wrong, Alexander?” She hurried to him and touched his forehead.

“I’m okay.” He told her about Madison. “Didn’t really feel like going back to school. Is it okay if I play hooky?”

Mrs. Washington patted his cheek. “You could use a day off, although Dad is going to wonder why you’re missing his class. He’ll be calling you pretty soon, I’m sure.”

“I don’t doubt that.” Hamilton followed her to the kitchen.

***

Bree squealed with excitement to return home from school and find Hamilton. They spent the afternoon tearing around the house shooting each other with Nerf guns. The dogs thought it was a great game, too, and they lost many foam darts to the dogs running off and destroying them.

When Washington returned home, the kids waited for him at the side door and peppered him with darts.

“I see you made good use of skipping school, Alexander,” Washington said but he smiled. He headed to his office to put away his things. As soon as he sat down, he heard a crack and several thumps followed by Hamilton cussing.

He hurried out and to the stairs where Hamilton lay holding his knee. Bree hovered near him clinging to the stair rail.

Washington picked up Hamilton and propped him on the bottom stair. “What’d you do?”

“I hit my knee.” Hamilton grimaced as he flexed it.

“Let me see.”

“Yeah... I’m wearing skinny jeans. I can’t roll them up that far.”

Washington hoisted Hamilton up under the arm. “Show me in the bathroom then.” He patted Bree’s shoulder as he walked past. “Put the toys away. It’s almost time for dinner.”

In the downstairs power room, Hamilton pulled down his jeans and let Washington check his knee.

“Just bruised,” Washington confirmed. “I’m sure you’ll survive. You should know better than to play around the stairs.”

Hamilton pulled up his jeans. “But it’s fun.”

Washington ruffled his hair. “I’m sure a broken leg wouldn’t be.”

They headed to the kitchen and helped get dinner on the table.

“It’s been a while since we had kids running through the house,” Washington commented to his wife.

“It wasn’t that long ago that Lafayette and Hercules were breaking things,” she said with a smile.

“True.” He kissed her lips.

***

Jefferson checked the time constantly throughout the day despite knowing by his own daily schedule what time it was. He’d been waiting since term began for Madison’s anxiety to creep up. Once the migraines had started, he knew it was only a matter of time. The debate had exhausted him; he would need time to recover. At two o’clock, texted, _how goes it?_

Madison texted back right away. _Okay. I had a good nap._

_Good._

_Can you come over this evening?_

_Definitely, if you’re up for it._

_Yeah. Come over after dinner._

Jefferson resisted the urge to text that he could come over right then. Instead, he agreed and headed to his next class. He hoped Madison would text more but his phone remained silent.

***

Jefferson stood in the foyer of Montpelier, plastic shopping bag over his arm. He glanced up to the top of the stairs and saw Madison watching. A smile broke across Jefferson’s face and he held up the bag. “Do you want dessert?”

Madison returned his smile. “Yeah. And whatever is in the bag.”

Jefferson chuckled as heat rose up his neck. He glanced around for any of Madison’s siblings. With a bunch of younger siblings himself, he knew how good the little ones were at hiding. He headed up the stairs and handed Madison the bag.

Madison peered in the bag. “Vanilla ice cream, chocolate syrup, and Oreo’s. God, you’re amazing.”

Jefferson kissed the top of Madison’s head. “I know you pretty well.”

They grabbed bowls, spoons, and an ice cream scoop from the upstairs kitchen on the way to Madison’s room. Madison unpacked the bag and found a movie under the Oreo package. “ _Beauty and the Beast_? I’ve been dying to see it.”

Jefferson’s face melted into a smile. “I know.”

Madison scampered across the room in his socks to put in the DVD.

Jefferson set the bowls on the dresser and dished up huge portions. Madison gleefully crushed up cookies and doused the concoction in chocolate syrup. The combination was almost too sweet for Jefferson but he followed suit anyway.

They ate their ice cream in silence as they watched the movie from Madison’s bed.

Madison finished eating first and snuggled into Jefferson. Jefferson reached down and pulled Madison’s weighted blanket over him.

The movie ended and Madison got off the bed. “I’ll be right back,” he said. He left the room and ran down one hallway and into another. He knocked on his parent’s bedroom door.

“Come in,” Mr. Madison said.

Madison poked his head in. His parents sat in bed reading. The family’s two cats lay on the edge of the bed. The house was so huge that sometimes Madison didn’t see the felines for days at a time, but he knew the cats always returned to Mrs. Madison every night.

“Do you feel ill?” Mrs. Madison asked. She set her book down and started to get up.

“No, no, I’m okay,” Madison reassured. “I just wondered if it was okay if Thomas spent the night? He helps me feel less anxious and I want to go to school tomorrow.”

His parents looked at each other and silently communicated.

“Yes, that’s fine,” said Mr. Madison. “It’s already getting late, though. Don’t stay up talking. You need your rest.”

“I know. Thank you.” Madison closed the door and ran back to his room.

Jefferson looked up from the knick-knacks he was looking at on Madison’s bookshelf. “Everything okay?”

“Do you want to stay the night?” Madison panted.

Jefferson smiled. “Yeah.” He moved toward Madison and picked him up.

Madison went limp in his arms and tucked his head under Jefferson’s chin.

Jefferson carried him to bed and kissed him before letting him slip away.

Madison set his alarm before he put his glasses on the nightstand and got under the covers. “I swiped your pajamas when we were at the hotel,” he said. “They’re in the bathroom.”

Jefferson grinned. “You rascal. I haven’t done laundry yet and didn’t even notice.”

He used the bathroom and returned in his silk pajamas. He got in bed with Madison and cuddled him close. “You know I love you, Jem.”

Madison burrowed into him. “I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've read this far, thank you!! Thank you!!


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanksgiving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fanart of Jemmy by @ghostserenade at Wattpad (@casualshystrawberry on Tumblr)  
> https://www.wattpad.com/654232801-just-like-random-shit-etc-fanart  
> The cutest thing you will ever see in your life!

Madison dressed carefully for Thanksgiving dinner in a navy corduroy skirt printed with forest creatures and zip cardigan along with knee socks and boots with sparkly pink laces. He wore his long hair down, parted on the left. He did his makeup careful and subtle with lip-gloss as the most noticeable. He knew he’d be told to change as soon as he went downstairs but it was worth a try. 

His stomach growled from missing his usual afternoon snack and he slipped downstairs to see if any food was out yet to sneak a bite.

Trays of crackers and cheese filled the island in the kitchen, pushed to the center and out of easy reach of most of the short Madison children.

Madison didn’t hesitate to pull himself up on the counter and grab a few pieces of cheese.

“Nelly, get down—” Mr. Madison stopped when he realized his mistake. “James...”

Madison slipped down. “Sorry. I was hungry.” He watched his father’s face, waiting for the explosion. 

“Are you prepared to explain yourself a hundred times to your relatives?” Mr. Madison asked. “That’s what is going to happen, Jem. I know you feel more comfortable in a skirt rather than dress pants but are you going to be comfortable with unpleasant questions?”

“I’ll be okay,” Madison replied.

Mr. Madison nodded and took a deep breath. “You do look very nice, Jem.”

Madison gave a shy smile. “Thank you.” He headed to his room and waited for his friends.

Jefferson and Hamilton arrived at Montpelier at the same time and headed up to Madison’s room.

“Hey, James!” Hamilton greeted. “Cute skirt.”

Madison looked at Jefferson while he thanked Hamilton.

Jefferson kept quiet as his mind wrestled with the realization of what Madison wanted to attempt. It was one thing to know his boyfriend sometimes wore a skirt at home and at friend’s houses but to wear one at a family party? The long, feminine hair had never bothered him—especially since his own mane was getting longer and he’d worn it long before—and he’d gotten used to Madison wearing some makeup, especially once he realized Madison had always worn it and he hadn’t known until he watched Madison put it on. But the skirt, too? Couldn’t he have outgrown that phase already?

Hamilton nudged him. “What’s got your goat, T?”

“Do you have to wear that, James?” Jefferson asked through clenched teeth.

Madison’s forehead creased to hear his actual name from Jefferson’s lips. “Why are you upset? You know I like dressing this way. You’ve never said anything before.”

“This is different,” Jefferson insisted. “This is in front of your relatives. They’ll spread it around. People will talk.”

“So?” Madison rested his hands on his hips.

“You’re a guy,” Jefferson muttered.

“So?” Madison repeated.

Hamilton twisted his fingers together as he wondered how to make his exit but his friends stood near the door and he didn’t want to talk between them.

Jefferson’s heart thudded in his chest. He did not want to have this conversation, he didn’t want to hurt Madison but he also couldn’t keep quiet on the fact that his boyfriend’s genderqueer way of dressing bothered him. “The hair, the makeup. Do you—are you—”

“I’m a boy,” Madison said with a frown. “You think I’m questioning my gender because of how I like to look?”

“It-it's kind of a lot, Jem.” Jefferson shoved his hands in his pockets and studied the floor.

“Does it embarrass you?” Madison stared at him.

“No. I just—”

“What?”

“I don’t like you looking like a girl.” Jefferson glanced at him.

Madison frown deepened. “Well, I don’t always like how sloppy you dress,” he snapped, “but I keep that to myself.”

“What’s wrong with how I dress?” Jefferson crossed his arms.

“Cargo pants?” Madison glared at him “You look nice in suits because they’re tailored; everything else you wear is too baggy. You have a nice figure.”

“Well, I didn’t realize I was supposed to dress to please you.” Jefferson returned his stare.

“Neither did I.” Madison licked his lips.

“Whatever, James.”

Madison hit his arm. “You don’t dictate how I can look.”

“You guys…” Hamilton murmured and made himself a target.

“Don’t his skirts bother you?” Jefferson rounded on him.

“No.” Hamilton glanced between them. “It’s very ‘James’. I didn’t think it bothered you either. You’ve always been supportive of him dressing how he wants.”

“This is different,” Jefferson asserted. He looked at Madison. “You’ll make yourself a target to ridicule by your relatives. Do you want to estrange yourself from family?”

“Well, if they can’t accept me for who I am,” Madison said, “then I don’t want them in my life anyway. My parents are okay with this. Thomas, you need to support me, too.”

Jefferson stared at his feet, while his arms dangled limply at his sides and his shoulders drooped.

“What happened, T?” Hamilton asked. “You support the ones you love and I know how much you love James.”

Madison touched his boyfriend’s arm. “No, it’s okay. I’ll wear pants. I don’t want to upset you.”

“It’s not me, it’s my mom,” Jefferson murmured. “She saw a picture of you in a skirt and wasn’t kind. It hurt me enough to hear what she said. I don’t want you ever to hear such things, Jemmy. I’m trying to protect you. Family can be cruel.”

“What am I supposed to do?” Madison asked in a soft quiver. “I want to be myself, T.”

Jefferson lifted him into his arms and folded his hands against his bottom. “You teach me how to be as strong as you.”

“But you don’t like me dressing this way,” Madison said. “I know you’re trying.”

“I’ll try harder. I know I’m ace but I still like the aesthetics of guys better. But I love you and you’re the only one I want.”

Hamilton grabbed the moment to slip out of the room as his eyes burned. Would he ever find something like that? Someone?

Madison snuggled his head against Jefferson’s neck. “I love you. You’re strong, T, don’t doubt that.” He stroked his boyfriend’s neck. “I want to wear the skirt but I am scared. How do I explain it to my relatives? I’m not trans, I don’t think I’m a girl, I just like looking this way.”

“Just like that.” Jefferson set him down and ran a hand through his silky hair. “How often does Nelly wear boy’s t-shirts? No one cares. Frankly, she could wear a suit and no one would care. It shouldn’t be a difference for a guy to wear a skirt. I’ll protect you. Alexander will, too.”

Madison nodded.

“But do you really hate my cargo pants?” Jefferson stroked his cheek. “I’ve always dressed this way.”

“Sorry,” Madison said. “I was pissed at you. I do think you’d look nice in slim jeans but I don’t hate your cargo pants. I just like the look of your ass better in tight clothes.”

 

Jefferson rolled his eyes. “Ready to go down?”

It only took a few minutes for his grandmother to call him Nelly and everyone to stare at him. No one said a word to his face, though he watched relatives approach his parents throughout the evening, likely asking what was wrong with their eldest child. Most of his relatives chose to avoid them; although Madison couldn’t be sure if wasn’t because of his tall, black boyfriend hovering around him.

“Do I really look that much like Nelly?” Madison asked Jefferson and Hamilton as they sat down to eat.

His friends nodded.

“Your hair is identical,” Jefferson said. “She’s shorter than you, but if you’re not standing next to each other, it’s harder to notice. You both have the same, round baby face, too.”

Madison glanced down the table at his sister but couldn’t see the same resemblance. His sister’s hair looked lighter, more blonde to him, and he was certain his face was thinner. 

They got in line for seconds, Frank stepping in behind Madison.

“You always get your way,” Frank hissed in his ear.

Madison shrugged him off.

Frank ran a hand through Madison’s hair, moved his hand away and yanked down his brother’s skirt.

Madison quickly set his plate down. “Francis!” he exclaimed. He pulled his skirt up and pushed him.

Jefferson stepped in and moved Frank out of the line and steered him into the other room. “Touch your brother again and I will hurt you.”

Frank smacked his hands. “Let go.”

“No.” Jefferson stared at the face so similar to his boyfriend’s. “You’ve been nothing but shit to your brother for years. I’m done with it. I won’t hesitate, Frank.”

Frank looked down. “Fine.”

“Good.” He returned to his table where Hamilton had finished filling a plate for him.

“What’d you say?” Madison asked. He picked at his sweet potatoes searching for the marshmallows.

“That I wouldn’t hesitate to hurt him.” Jefferson stabbed at his stuffing. “He shouldn’t have gotten away with treating you like this.”

Madison shrugged. “He’s just doing what Dad wants to do. It’s fine, T.”

“No, it’s not.” Jefferson shoveled in his food. “He’s your brother. He needs to stand up for you.”

“I have friends,” Madison insisted. “And other brothers. Don’t make a debacle, please.”

Jefferson nodded. “As you wish.” He added the marshmallows from his sweet potatoes onto Madison’s


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bree

“What’s up, Bree?” Hamilton asked as he answered his phone.

He didn’t get an answer at first, then a broken, “I’m moving to a different home.”

Hamilton stopped walking and his shoulders dropped. “No.”

Bree sniffled. “It’s closer to my school and where my dad is in rehabilitation so I can see him more often.”

“When?”

“Before Christmas, like a day.”

“That’s fucked up. Sorry.”

“No, you’re right.” Bree sighed. “Mrs. Washington was trying to get the date moved around but my dad wants to spend Christmas with me and everyone wants me moved before the holiday so they won’t have to deal with me.”

“We want you for Christmas,” Hamilton said. He saw Burr walking toward him and gave a wave. “That’s so stupid.”

“I know.” Bree sighed. “When are you coming home?”

“I can leave now.”

“I’d like that.”

They said their goodbyes and hung up.

Burr adjusted his backpack. “What’s going on? You look upset.”

“Bree’s leaving in, like, three weeks.” Hamilton rubbed his eyes. “I don’t know how the Washington’s have done this for so long. I feel like my heart is being ripped out.”

Burr clenched his jaw and turned away.

Hamilton frowned. “You okay? I’m going home now. Do you want to come with?”

Burr shook his head.

Hamilton touched his shoulder. “Well, shit, man, I don’t want to leave if you’re upset. Can you talk to me?”

Burr shrugged him off and his face was a blank mask when he turned around. “I’m fine. I’ll go with you.”

Hamilton smiled. “Thank you.”

At Mount Vernon, Hamilton pulled into the garage. He turned off the vehicle and headed for the door to the house before he realized Burr remained in the truck. He opened the passenger door. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Felt a little queasy,” Burr mumbled.

“My driving isn’t that bad,” teased Hamilton. He opened the door and Bree wrapped her arms around him. He hugged her tight. “I’m sorry, little sis.”

She let go and led him into the kitchen. Laid out across the counter was everything to make and decorate sugar cookies.

“Good idea, Bree,” Hamilton said. “Aaron, come on.”

Burr dragged himself into the house but instantly headed for the downstairs powder room.

Mrs. Washington had heard the garage door open and went to greet Hamilton since he had texted her that there would two more for dinner. The dogs raced ahead but she paused as she passed the powder room. She was all too familiar with Hamilton’s crying to know it wasn’t he sobbing his heart out. It had to be Burr. She hesitated to decide what to do. Knock and make sure he was okay or leave him alone and let him keep his dignity? Tell Hamilton or not? She kept going but asked Hamilton, “Is Aaron feeling well?”

“Said he felt sick in the car,” Hamilton said. He cracked an egg on the edge of the mixing bowl and splattered yoke everywhere. “You better do the second one, Bree.”

Mrs. Washington did question further and watched Bree tap the egg gently and crack it in the bowl, the way she’d taught her. “Good girl, Bree.”

Bree grinned but just as fast, her face fell and she turned back to the bowl.

Returning the foster children when they were well behaved and sweet was the most difficult thing. Mrs. Washington hated to see them put into a bad situation when they did so well at Mount Vernon. But Bree needed to return to her family and friends. The Washington’s had met with Bree’s father and he seemed sincere about taking care of Bree and getting his act together. Their social worker knew they’d take Bree back in an instant if things went awry.

Burr dragged himself into the kitchen, face puffy and tired.

Hamilton dumped the finished ball of dough onto the floured countertop. “Want a taste, Aaron?” He pinched off a large ball.

Burr accepted it. “Do you mind if I go lay down in your room?”

“I don’t mind.” Hamilton watched him with a wrinkled brow. “I wish you’d told me how crappy you felt.”

Burr shook his head and disappeared upstairs.

When dinnertime neared, Hamilton headed up to his room to retrieve Burr. He found his friend sitting up on the bed playing with his phone. “Are you sure you're okay, Aaron?” Hamilton asked.

“Stressed,” said Burr.

Hamilton nodded his agreement, as he hated finals, too. “What are you doing for winter break?”

Burr’s mouth stretched into a thin line. “Dunno.”

“Ah, babe.” Hamilton sat on the bed next to him and wrapped his arms around Burr’s stiff body. “You’ll stay here, got it? We’ll need the company.”

“I won’t be very good company, Alex.” Burr extracted himself from his friend’s grasp. “I plan to sleep the entire time.”

Hamilton’s shoulders drooped. “Are you depressed?”

Burr shrugged and got off the bed. “Are the cookies you guys made done?”

***

Washington watched Hamilton throughout dinner and knew the second he retreated to his office, his foster son would follow. He left the door open and Hamilton stepped in and closed it a minute later.

“I know you’re upset about Bree leaving,” Washington said. “She’s not abandoning you. She’s going back to her friends and family; it’s what we wanted to happen.”

“I do have another concern,” Hamilton said as he took the seat across from Washington. “But what if Bree doesn’t want to return to her father? A lot of us have shit fathers. You are by far the best.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Washington said as his face softened. “Bree’s old enough and smart enough to contact her social worker if her father hasn’t changed his behavior. She’ll keep in touch with us but the goal _is_ to return the children to their families. We can’t horde them and assume we can do what’s best. Bree misses seeing her friends every day. She misses her school. She’ll do okay.”

Hamilton nodded. 

“What’s your other concern?” Washington watched the thin, tired face. He hated this time of year for what it did to his students. 

“Aaron.” Hamilton picked at his cuticles. “I think he’s depressed and I’d guess it has to do with why he left last spring. Why can’t he just tell me?”

Washington sighed. He’d fostered enough boys to know some only knew how to hold in pain and refuse anyone’s help or support. With Burr’s negligent parental background, he wasn’t surprised Burr fell into that category. He’d never had anyone that gave a crap about his pain or wanted to hear his fears and issues. 

“I wish I had an answer, Alexander.”

“Can he stay here for winter break?” Hamilton looked up and met his foster father’s tender gaze.

“Of course. He can have Lafayette’s room.”

“Will you talk to him?” Hamilton’s eyes grew hopeful.

“I’ll try,” Washington assured, “but I can’t overstep my bounds with him. He’s sensitive to pressure and not gullible to someone trying to get him to open up.”

“So the opposite of me,” Hamilton said with a faint grin.

Washington nodded, mirroring his expression.  

“But you and him kind of bonded when you took him suit shopping,” Hamilton insisted. “You’re good at getting people to talk.”

“I’ll do my best, son, and let him know my door is always open, but this is Aaron’s life and I won’t force him reveal his pain. Maybe he’ll talk to a therapist but I don’t have enough training to help him depending on what he’d going through and we have no idea what that is.”

“I just want you to make everything better,” Hamilton grumbled.

“I know you do.” Washington watched him. “You put a lot of pressure on me, my dear boy.”

Hamilton rolled his eyes.

“Go spend time with Bree. I’ll be there shortly.”

Hamilton left the office and found everyone gathered in the family room playing cards. He sat next to Burr and Potato jumped in his lap. “Dad said you could stay for winter break.” He cuddled the chubby dog.

“Thanks.” Burr kept his eyes on his cards.


	34. Chapter 34

The semester ended and Hamilton, as usual, was eager to show off his good grades to his foster parents. But his enthusiasm was more subdued this year since Bree would leave in a week. Although, he joked that he would be glad to have his bathroom back.

The first morning he banged on the door. “How much longer, Bree?”

“Five minutes,” Bree said.

“That’s what you said five minutes ago!” He continued pounding on the door until she opened it.

“Grow up.”

“No way, that’s boring.” Hamilton shut the bathroom door and groaned. Hair care products and make up covered the counter. “Ugh, girls,” he muttered.

And having the bathroom near his room proved an annoyance as Bree sang in the shower every morning waking him. She had a good voice at least but it was no less annoying when he wanted to sleep in.

One morning Hamilton woke early and sang at the top of his lungs as he showered in an attempt to get her back.

The tortured screaming he called singing roused the whole house. Washington banged on the door and managed to open it.

“Alexander, are you alright?” He pulled at the shower curtain.

“Jesus Christ, Dad!” Hamilton exclaimed having heard nothing over his “singing.” He pulled the curtain against his body. “The fuck?”

Washington stepped back. “You were screaming.”

Hamilton frowned. “I was singing _Jingle Bells_.”

Washington bit his lip to keep from laughing. “Sure, son. Don’t—don’t sing again.”

Hamilton rolled his eyes. “Can I have some privacy?”

Washington continued to fight laughter. “Of course.”

***

The Washington’s had an early Christmas to celebrate with their foster daughter. Lafayette and Adrienne joined them for the turkey dinner and opening a few presents.

Burr staying with them also, threw Mrs. Washington into a whirl to get him gifts—not that he expected anything. However, she was used to short deadlines to gather necessities for foster children and Burr had three gifts under the tree to unwrap that day and several more for Christmas.

Burr stared at Hamilton as Washington passed out the gifts.

“What?” Hamilton asked.

Burr pointed to the wrapped box in his lap.

“You’re family.” He eagerly reached for the gift his foster dad handed him.

Gifts were open followed by pie and hot chocolate.

“Time for bed, dears,” Mrs. Washington said as ten o’clock neared.

Lafayette and Adrienne said their goodbyes and Hamilton, Burr, and Bree headed upstairs.

Hamilton followed Bree into her room. “I have a present for you,” he said, “but I wanted to give it to you in person. Wait right here.” He hurried to his room and returned with a small wrapped gift.

Bree sat on her bed and tore off the paper. She opened the jewelry box. “Oh, Alex!” She carefully touched the bracelet and gazed at the charms: bulldog, cat, unicorn, Chihuahua, artist palette, sewing machine, briefcase. “It’s beautiful, Alex.” She looked at it again. “I know the unicorn is for James, the sewing machine is Mom, briefcase is Dad, Chihuahua is Potato and the other ones are me, but there isn’t one of you.” Her gaze met her foster brother. “Not that I would ever forget you.”

“That’s because I didn’t know what charm worked for me,” Hamilton said. He sat next to Bree and handed her a gift card. “You’ll have to pick out one.”

Bree nodded. She set the box and card aside and wrapped her arms around Hamilton’s waist.

Hamilton rested his cheek against her head. “You stay strong, okay, little sis? Call me if you ever need anything.”

“I will.” Bree wiped her eyes. “Thank you, Alex.”

They held each other a little longer before Hamilton retired to his room.

***

Washington took Bree to her father the next morning. She would stay with him twice a week and a nearby foster family the other days until it was certain her father would be responsible.

“I’m proud to call you my first daughter,” Washington said. “Don’t ever forget that.”

Bree nodded as he throat tightened. She hurried out of the car and didn’t look back to keep her tears hidden.

It was as the family expected, Bree texted often the first few months and gradually settled into her new life and communicated less and less with them.

Hamilton saved the picture she sent him, though, of the charm she chose for him: a heart.

***

True to his word, Burr slept most of winter break. He got up around eleven and retreated to bed when everyone else did between nine-thirty and ten. 

The Washington’s kept Hamilton busy shoveling snow and paths for the dogs in the backyard. Washington was gone most days with meetings and when he was home, he locked himself away for several hours at a time to get lesson plans done and catch up on paperwork. 

Whenever Mrs. Washington thought Hamilton looked bored, she found things for him to clean and had him chauffeur her around to teas and knitting groups. But he did find time for fun and went sledding with Jefferson and his sisters a few times, and spend some afternoons with Madison staying bundled in blankets and drinking hot chocolate. 

One late morning, when the house was quiet, Burr left his room and ventured into the kitchen. A Tupperware container of cinnamon rolls remained on the counter and he peeled off the lid to take one. He jumped at footsteps behind him.

“Just me, son,” Washington said. He set two plates on the counter. “Grab me one, too.”

Burr did as asked and Washington warmed them in the microwave.

“Where is everyone?” Burr asked.

“Martha and Alexander took the dogs to their vet checkup.”

“All five?”

“Yup. Told them they were crazy but they insisted it was easier than doing one at a time.” He handed Burr back his cinnamon roll. 

Burr clutched the plate and moved toward the kitchen door. He was certain his teacher wanted to talk but such a conversation did not appeal to him. He was grateful when Washington walked passed him and headed down the hall to his office. Burr took his late breakfast up to his room. 

After eating, he returned the plate to the kitchen and his feet guided him to Washington’s office. The door was open and he slipped inside. His fingers gripped the back of the second chair near the desk. “Is this Alex’s chair?” he asked.

Washington glanced up. “If he’s not attached to my lap.”

A smile started to form on Burr’s lips but faded away. “Yeah...” He took a seat and leaned forward. “I miss him.”

Washington turned away from his computer. “I thought the two of you were doing okay?” His brow creased. “Alexander thinks the world of you.”

Burr studied his short fingers. Did he dare voice the actual thoughts in his mind? Washington had heard it all, he was certain. “We were so close before,” he said in a quiet tone. “Affectionate. He’s offered to resume that but it’s not the same. I know I hurt him and I’m terrified of hurting him again. But I miss him so much.”

Washington rubbed his chin. “I know you’re aware that Alexander is not good at commitment. Keep that in mind if you have thoughts of pursuing him again romantically. He’s not over you nor is he over John.”

“How did you get his loyalty so strongly?” Burr asked. “He’s more attached to you than anyone.”

Washington grimaced. “Not always a plus. The truth will hurt, Aaron.”

Burr sighed. “It’s because you never abandoned him. John and I are never actually there when he needs someone, at least not for the right reasons. But him not being able to pick or commit, that’s not really on us, is it?”

“Not entirely, no.” Washington opened a desk drawer and shuffled through some stuff. “Alexander only knows temporary. He’s never been in the position or experienced people staying long term. A relationship with him will be a lot of work and take a lot of reassurance and understanding.” He pulled out a journal. “I’ve kept two books since Alexander arrived. My official one and this one.” He handed the book to Burr. “Alexander has broken my heart many times and if I didn’t understand him and his needs, I could not have handled keeping him. He would have been another boy we let go when he turned eighteen.”

Burr flipped through pages of lengthy angst and struggles. He paused when he spotted his name. “What happened to him after I left?”

“He broke down, Aaron.” Washington fiddled with a pen. “He called your phone thousands of times. He had constant anxiety attacks. He couldn’t understand why you would leave him. He thought it was his fault that he came on too strong. Alexander will always blame himself no matter how ridiculous the notion.” He took a deep breath. “John made things even worse and took advantage of Alexander at every turn. I think Alex could have managed better if John wasn’t keeping him in a state of panic. John was doing to Alex what his father was doing to him. It was a mess, Aaron.”

“I’m sorry,” Burr said. He kneaded his forehead with his fingers. 

“I know you are but I also know you’re not coping. Don’t disappear on us again, Aaron. Your pain, we can help you through it. You only need to let us in.”

Tears glistened in Burr’s eyes. “I can’t. It hurts.”

“I understand.” Washington stood and touched Burr’s shoulder. “But telling me can’t hurt any more than keeping it inside.”

“Then it’ll be true.” Burr shrugged off Washington’s hand and left the room. 

Washington picked up his journal and wrote a new entry.


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adventures in babysitting.

Marty J poked her head into her brother’s room. “Are you expecting James?”

“Huh?” Jefferson’s eyes remained glued to his book.

“Your boyfriend. He’s downstairs.”

“What?” Jefferson looked at his sister.

She rolled her eyes. “James is downstairs, you thick-skulled idiot.”

Jefferson set his book aside and got off his bed. Marty J ran off knowing he would try to grab her and be a typical older brother.

Madison hopped around the foyer until he spotted Jefferson. He ran at him and climbed into his boyfriend’s arms. “I haven’t seen you in like a week.”

Jefferson chuckled. “It’s been three days, Jemmy.”

“Too long.” Madison kissed him but Jefferson turned his head after a few seconds.

“Did you mom drop you off?” he asked as he carried Madison upstairs.

“Yeah. I didn’t want to go to another holiday party.”

Jefferson set Madison down in his room and closed the door. He glanced at the book on his nightstand, desperate to resume his pre-semester studying.

“Not that I didn’t appreciate the diner set for my stuffed animals,” Madison said, “but can I ask for something else, too?”

“Nope,” Jefferson said as he sat on his bed. “Because I know what you’re going to ask.”

“Please?” Madison begged. “We don’t have to have sex but can we make out?”

Jefferson studied his boyfriend and searched for a reasonable solution in his brain. The hectic schedule of college had kept them from each other’s beds or too tired more often than not. While Jefferson missed having more time to spend with his boyfriend, the lack of pressure to become intimate had been awesome. “Okay. We’ll see what happens.” _I wish you’d given me a heads up, though._ But he couldn’t say that without sounding peeved.

Madison smiled and instantly began to pull off his clothes.

Jefferson looked away. “Jemmy…”

“Lay back,” commanded Madison. Once stripped to his boxes, he climbed on his boyfriend and kissed him.

Jefferson pushed him off a minute later. “James, I hate this.” He met Madison’s blue eyes. “You have to give me a warning. I’m not in the mood to even try right now.”

Madison’s little body slumped. “You’re not being fair, Thomas. I need things from you. You’ve had months of me not pestering you. I need an hour.”

Jefferson took a deep breath. “Give me another chance.”

Madison climbed back on him but he might as well have been kissing one of his stuffed animals for all Jefferson participated. He slipped his hands up Jefferson’s shirt and raked his nails down his boyfriend’s sides.

Jefferson grunted.

“Try,” Madison said.

Jefferson nodded and let Madison toss his shirt aside. He rolled his boyfriend over and moved his lips down his slender body and tugged down his boxers. With a lot of concentration, he managed to get his mind off the dozens of things he’d rather be doing and concentrate on making Madison moan. The first was a lot more difficult than the latter.

Madison smiled when he finished. “Thank you.”

“And you just made it even weirder,” Jefferson said but he smiled, too. “Next time, more warning, okay?”

“I promise.” Madison pulled on his boxers and cuddled into Jefferson’s strong arms.

Jefferson stroked his warm skin with his left hand and reached for his book with the other.

“Let me get dressed if you’re going to study,” Madison said.

Jefferson let him get up and he pulled on his own shirt. Dressed, he cuddled Madison between his legs and held him tight. While he studied, Madison played on his phone, burrowing tighter into him from time to time.

***

“Oh, good, you’re both awake,” Mrs. Washington said when she saw Hamilton and Burr come downstairs. “Eleanor Madison just called and she needs me to watch the younger children. The nanny called in sick and she has to take Ambrose and Frank to the dentist.”

“I don’t know anything about kids,” Burr said.

“Oh, this will be fun!” Hamilton jumped down the last few steps. “When will they be here?”

“About a half hour.” Mrs. Washington smiled at him. “Help me pick up the house a bit before they get here.”

The boys went to work cleaning up dog toys and the clutter of mail and books that collected in the family room.

When the dogs heard the car turn into the driveway, Mrs. Washington took Potato and Mugsley upstairs. Since it took Mrs. Madison a few minutes to get the kids out of the car, she was back down to answer the door when the doorbell rang.

“I really appreciate this,” Mrs. Madison said at once as Nelly, William and Sarah pushed inside. She held Bess in her arms. Madison followed behind lugging the diaper bag. He dropped it on the floor and grinned at Hamilton.

Hamilton smiled back.

“Always my pleasure,” Mrs. Washington said. She took Bess and cooed over the baby.

“The children brought some toys,” Mrs. Madison said. “I should be back in about two and a half hours.”

“Not a problem.” Mrs. Washington shooed her out and closed the front door. “How are you doing, Jemmy?”

“Good!” He hung up his coat and went to greet Potomac. 

“I brought toy soldiers,” William told Hamilton and opened his backpack.

“Cool,” Hamilton said. He watched William take out soldiers, a jeep, and other accessories. He threw two Barbie dolls at Sarah.

“I play with you,” Sarah said. She grabbed the jeep and put the Barbie’s inside.

“Only if Alex plays with us,” William said.

“For sure.” Hamilton got on the floor and grabbed one of the soldiers and a toy gun.

Mrs. Washington took Bess into the kitchen with her while Nelly stared at Burr hovering by the stairs. She held up her baby dolls and small wicker suitcase. “Want to be the dad?”

“What do I have to do?” Burr asked.

“Work and watch TV mostly.”

“Okay.” Burr followed her into the family room and made himself comfortable in Washington’s recliner with his legs over the armrest. 

Nelly sat on the floor and played quietly with the doll and ignored Burr for the most part except to ask him if he made lots of money.

“Not today,” Burr said as his channel surfed. “Stock market crashed.”

“Not again,” Nelly bemoaned. “Our baby is going to starve.”

Hamilton kept the younger two busy crawling around the front rooms and hallway. Their games were much louder and full of explosive sound effects and wails.

Madison joined Mrs. Washington in the kitchen as Bess started to cry.

“Did your mom pack any bottles?” she asked him.

“I don’t think she had time to make any up,” Madison said as he opened the fridge, “but the formula powder should be in the bag.”

Mrs. Washington traipsed through the “war zone” and brought the diaper bag back in the kitchen. “Hold your sister for a minute.”

“No,” Madison said. He sucked on a juice box. “I don’t like babies.”

Mrs. Washington didn’t argue with him and called to Hamilton.

He took Bess at once while his foster mom made up a bottle. He tickled her and let her tug on the string of his hoodie.

Madison watched him in awe. “You actually like babies?”

“Yeah, they’re fun.” Hamilton tossed Bess up and got her to laugh. “I want a big family someday.”

“Huh.”

From the family room, Nelly yelled, “I want a divorce!”

Burr came into the kitchen.

“What’d you do?” Hamilton asked.

“Broke the stock market.” Burr grabbed a can of pop out of the fridge. “Our baby is starving.”

“You’re terrible.” Hamilton cuddled Bess. “I would never let you starve,” he told her. He looked at Burr. “Want to hold a real baby?”

“Nope.” Burr returned to the family room.

“You guys are all lame,” Hamilton complained.

“Do you want to feed the baby?” Mrs. Washington asked as she screwed on the lid of the bottle.

“Yeah.” 

She helped him position Bess on his lap on the couch in the front room.

Bess snuggled into his arms and watched his face as she sucked on the bottle.

Hamilton stroked her plump, soft cheek.

“I didn’t know you were so good with babies,” Mrs. Washington told Hamilton. “This is a new side of you.”

“I’ve babysat a lot of foster siblings,” Hamilton said. “It was the only thing I didn’t hate about most of my foster families.”

When Washington returned from a meeting a little later, he entered into the rowdy play of children, dogs, and his foster son.

“Hello, dear,” Mrs. Washington called above the racket. “We’re watching the Madison children today.”

“Really?” Washington said. “I thought the Madison kids were quiet?”

“Not when your son gets them riled up.”

Madison ran over to him. “Washington!”

“Well, there’s our Jemmy.” Washington hugged him. “Having fun?”

“Yeah.”

William and Sarah hurried over for attention.

“Pick me up,” Sarah said.

Washington scooped up the small girl and set her on his shoulders. 

“Me, too,” whined William.

Washington lifted him up as well and headed into the kitchen.

“Don’t hurt your back, dear,” Mrs. Washington fretted.

Washington chuckled. “All the Madison children together barely way a hundred pounds. Are the children staying for lunch?”

Mrs. Washington nodded. “Eleanor asked if they could stay longer so she could run a few errands. Alexander is a huge help with them.”

Washington set the two youngsters down and they ran off as they heard Hamilton and Nelly having fun without them.

“You should have let me know we had company,” Washington said, “I would have brought home lunch.”

“Feed the Madison children non-organic junk food?” Mrs. Washington looked at him in horror.

Washington smirked. “What’re you making for them?”

“Chicken nuggets.”

Washington wrapped his arms around his plump, little wife and kissed her. “That’s why I love you.”

Hamilton burst in the kitchen. “Dinosaur-shaped ones?”

“Sorry, hon,” Mrs. Washington said. “Can you get the kids to sit at the table? Where’s Bess?”

“I got her,” Nelly said following her baby sister crawling on the floor.

Hamilton soon had all the kids seated at the table.

“We’re missing one,” Washington said. “Where’s Aaron?”

“Hiding in his room,” Hamilton said. “He and Nelly got divorced because he broke the stock market and their baby starved.”

“Ah. Glad I asked.” Washington set out plates and poured milk for everyone.

“Do you have chocolate syrup?” Madison asked.

Washington checked the fridge and handed him the bottle.

Madison squirted an absurd amount into his glass of milk.

After lunch, Hamilton kept the children entertained until their mom picked them up.

“How were they, Martha?” Mrs. Madison asked as she stepped in the foyer.

“Very good,” Mrs. Washington said. “Alexander kept them busy.”

Mrs. Madison smiled at the scrawny redhead and thanked him. 

Hamilton shrugged and stood in front of Washington. 

His foster father draped his arms across Hamilton’s chest and held him close as the women talked and the children packed up their things.

“I’m guessing I can expect lots of grandchildren from you?” Washington asked.

Hamilton tilted his head back to look at him. “Yeah.”

Washington squeezed him. “Good.”


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Burr is dumb.

The new semester was in full swing and Burr hated every minute of it. The dormitory seemed louder than usual and smelled bad. Every class piled on homework and the assignments taxed his brain. He tried to drink coffee but it gave him a stomachache. Although, everything seemed to disagree with him anymore and nothing gave him enjoyment.

He woke early in hopes of showering before anyone else was awake. He figured no one else would be up before six.

However, he was wrong and could hear Hamilton and Laurens joking and talking as soon as he opened the door. Both were sweaty and grimy from wrestling practice.

“Burr!” Hamilton shouted from the shower portion of the bathroom where he and Laurens had started to undress. “Don’t be shy.”

Burr clutched a hand against his towel around his waist and the other one on the plastic basket holding his shower supplies. “I’ll wait,” he mumbled.

“Ah, come on!” Hamilton goaded. “What do you have to hide? We got pretty chummy in that hotel room.”

Color flushed up Burr’s neck. “Nah, it’s okay.” He hurried out the door before Hamilton could say another word. He returned to his dorm and got dressed. He sat at his desk and stared blankly at an open textbook.

 _Don’t think about Alex,_ he commanded himself. _Don’t think about his body. Don’t think._ A powerful jolt of loneliness struck him and made his chest ache. He bent down, pulled out the bottom drawer of the desk and grabbed the only thing that didn’t case him pain: vodka. He took a swallow and a deep breath. The semester was three weeks in and he wished it over already. He needed to get away from everyone and, maybe, find peace. He thought about Amelia at the Goodwill store. Would she still be there? She was the only person he knew from his past. Would she even want to talk to him?

He took another swig and re-hid the bottle.

His first class of the day was with Madison. He took his usual seat behind him. “Doing okay?” Burr asked.

Madison jumped and his phone clattered to the floor by Burr’s feet.

Burr glanced at the texts to and from Jefferson as he picked the phone up. Lots of smiley faces and hearts. Burr handed the phone over.

“Yeah,” Madison said. “Except for you scaring me to death.”

“Sorry.”

Madison cocked his head. “Your eyes are all bloodshot. Are you been having trouble sleeping?”

Burr shrugged and was grateful their teacher entered the room and ended the conversation.

“Pick a partner,” he said at once.

Madison glanced back and Burr nodded.

Fifty minutes later, they left class. Madison touched Burr’s arm. “Can you come over tonight? We can work on the project and get a good head start.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Burr glanced at Madison and found his eyes sweeping up the petite body and wondering.... He’d never been so horny in his life.

“You can ride home with me,” Madison said. “Maybe you could spend the night?”

Burr’s thoughts turned to the text he’d read on Madison’s phone from Jefferson. _There’s nothing better than waking up next to you._ It wouldn’t be like that, he tried to tell himself over his lower half having different ideas. “Yeah, okay.”

Madison smiled. “I’ll text my mom and let you know what she says. See you later.”

“See you.” Burr watched him hurry away to his next class. He remained rooted to the spot and nearly screamed when Hamilton snapped his fingers in Burr’s face.

“Having an episode or something?” Hamilton asked. “Or are you stoned?”

Burr glared at him. “Can you shut up for once in your life?” he growled.

“Jesus,” Hamilton grumbled. “Last time I look out for your well-being.” He walked away.

Burr needed to follow him—they had the same class—but he headed back to his dorm instead to work out his frustrations.

But halfway there the guilt of skipping class caught up to him and he turned around and ran. He panted as he slipped into class three minutes late. Tunnel vision clouded him as he headed toward his usual seat in the second row, as he knew everyone stared at him.

“Jeez, Aaron,” Hamilton muttered.

Burr realized as soon as he tried to sit that Hamilton had taken his usual spot and he almost sat on his lap. Near purple color bloomed in Burr’s cheeks and his vision blurred. He couldn’t see to find an empty seat and stood frozen in humiliation as the class snickered and laughed at him.

“Aaron, take a seat,” the teacher said. “You should know to be on time.”

Hamilton stood and picked up his books. “Stop embarrassing yourself,” he whispered to Burr and moved to the back of the room.

Burr slid into the seat and turned toward the wall.

After class, Hamilton tried to stop him, but Burr shoved past and ran for his dorm. He locked the door and threw his bag on the floor. Tears smarted in his eyes but he wouldn’t let himself cry.

He was about to get out his alcohol when his phone chimed with a text.

Madison.

Burr unlocked his phone and pulled up the message.

_Mom says that’s fine._

_Cool._

Burr set his phone aside and forced himself to take deep breaths. Showing up drunk to Madison’s house would not be a good idea.

He only had yoga to get through in the afternoon and plenty of time to work out his agitation and not reveal to Madison how horny he was.

Madison waited outside the gym and a smile broke across his face when he spotted Burr.

Burr smiled back and wished he had thought to change out of his yoga clothes. His legs were hairy and dotted with red bumps; he felt grubby getting into the Madison’s Corvette.

Mrs. Madison greeted him as he bucked his seatbelt.

Burr gave a nervous smile in response. He clutched the handle of his backpack. He could remember a few—well one—playdate in elementary school but by junior high, any friends he thought he’d had vanished. Staying at Mount Vernon had been a new experience and rather overwhelming. He was just glad the Washington’s had given him his space and Hamilton hadn’t pestered him the entire time. He did love them all but he wasn’t used to people being in his business.

Madison chatted with his mom about his day as she drove. Burr listened in silence but kept alert in case any questions came his way.

None did and Mrs. Madison soon pulled into the Estates. She clicked open the front gate and pulled into the six-car garage.

Madison got out of the Corvette and hurried to the side door into the house. “Come on, Aaron.”

Burr grabbed his bag and yoga mat and followed, wondering how someone so tiny and sickly could move so fast.

Burr had been to Montpelier once but had only gotten a small glimpse of the house then.

Madison scampered through a huge kitchen—the whole apartment Burr had grown up in could have fit in half the space—, through a family room and down a long hall.

Burr paused in the foyer and stared up at the huge ceiling and tall staircase. A diamond chandelier hung near the front door and paintings of all the Madison children were displayed along the nearest wall.

“Aaron?”

Burr snapped his attention to his friend. “Your house is so big.”

Madison gave a strained smile.

“I mean that as a compliment,” Burr soothed. “Everything is gorgeous.” _Like you_ , he wanted to add and bit his tongue. Ugh, don’t be a slut. He followed Madison upstairs and through the maze of hallways.

Burr stood in awe at the expanse of Madison’s bedroom. He had grown up sharing a space with his sister not much bigger than his current dorm room. Madison had enough space for a whole family all to himself.

“Dang, you got it made,” Burr said with a grin. “Is Thomas’ house as big as yours?”

“Nearly,” Madison said.

Burr kept the grin on his face but he realized that was probably why they were drawn to each other. Both lived the same lavish lifestyle and were likely to continue to do so.

“Do you mind if I use your bathroom?” Burr asked. “I want to change.”

Madison pointed to the door parallel to the bedroom door.

He shouldn’t have been surprised by the size of the bathroom after everything else but he almost couldn’t comprehend such a space for one person. The shower had four different showerheads including a huge rain one. The tub was a Jacuzzi easily big enough for four people. Privacy-glass doors led to a balcony. There was a fireplace in the bathroom and enough counter space to satisfy three women. 

Burr quickly changed and opened the door. “I’m jealous of your bathtub,” he told Madison. “Would it be weird if I wanted to use it before bed?”

Madison grinned. “No. We can use it now if you want. Dinner isn’t until six.”

Burr wondered if he had heard right. We? “Our project…”

“We can bounce ideas off each other. It has jets.” Madison went into the bathroom and turned on the huge tub. He chattered about his ideas for the project as he unpacked things from his backpack.

The tub didn’t take half as long to fill as Burr expected. He soon found himself in the bathroom with Madison and wondered what Madison planned to wear. Burr didn’t want to go commando during dinner nor did he want the temptation of them both being naked.

Madison pulled his hair into a bun and set his notebook and pen on the marble counters around the tub. He stripped nude.

Burr chewed on his lip and could feel an unwelcome throb in his groin. He undressed and hurried up the few marble steps into the hot, bubbling water.

Madison had his eyes closed, a jet massaging into his lower back.

Burr sat still, unable to move or relax. He cleared his throat. “So…”

“The project, yeah,” Madison said, eyes remaining closed. “You mentioned something earlier…”

Burr launched into his idea, his words tripping over themselves and he tried to spit everything out and only focus on the project.

Madison’s blue eyes watched him and Burr had to turn his focus to the window a few feet above the Jacuzzi. When he glanced back, his words faltered and he lost his train of thought.

The steam from the hot water turned Madison’s cheeks a healthy pink and stray frizzies of hair curled around his forehead. His eyes were bright and rapt. “Keep going,” he said.

“I…” Burr looked away. He wasn’t sure if he could remember his own name, right then let alone some stupid government project.

Madison repeated the last things Burr had said, but even that wasn’t enough to remind Burr of his idea.

“It’ll come back to me,” he muttered. “Sorry. Do—do you have any ideas?” He let his eyes flicker back to Madison’s and found that blue gaze still intent.

“Not as many as you,” Madison said. He shifted and grabbed his notebook. “I wrote down a few things in class, but I think your idea is better. I have an idea for a diagram, though. Look.”

Burr scooted closer to Madison and examined the rough sketch in Madison’s notebook. Or he appeared to. Whatever was on the page was lost to him and the only thing he could see was the wrinkles on Madison’s fingers and the water beading and running down his arm.

“So?” Madison asked and nudged him.

Burr jumped and as he reached down to steady himself, his hand brushed Madison’s leg instead. He scooted away as his heart thudded in his chest and blood rushed to all the wrong places. A forced grin spread across his face. “Great.”

Madison’s brow creased. “Are you okay?”

Burr swallowed and tried subtly to inhale a deep breath. “Thought I was going to slip and crush you,” he teased his voice higher than normal.

A smile returned to Madison’s face. “Thomas hasn’t yet so I’m not too worried that you could.”

Burr looked at the water swirling around him. Was that an invitation or a reminder? Madison was Jefferson’s, but did he want something else, too. Someone else?

“It’s almost six.” Madison pointed to a clock on the wall. “We should get out.”

Madison stepped onto the first step, steadying himself on the railing. Water trickled down his petite body and pooled on the step. He grabbed his robe off a nearby hook. “I’ll get you a towel,” he said as he sashed the robe.

Burr tried to look away and failed. His eyes remained glued to Madison as he set a towel down near Burr.

“What?” Madison asked.

“You’re so small,” Burr blurted since he didn’t dare voice his actual thoughts.

Madison rolled his eyes.

Burr stepped out of the tub and grabbed the towel.

Madison moved near one of the mirrors and tugged his hair loose. Perfect waves tumbled free and fell with a golden hew against his white robe.

It was stupid, but that was it. Burr grabbed the towel and shoved it against his crotch. If Madison saw… He begged his erection to go away.

 _He can see you in the mirror. Hecanseeyouinthemirror._ His mind shouted at him and heat flooded through Burr’s body and made him feel lightheaded. He couldn’t catch his breath.

But Madison didn’t react as if he noticed anything. He ran a comb through his hair and smoothed back the short hairs in the front. He grabbed a jar of body butter and slathered it on his hands. Then he pulled the sash of his robe open.

_He wants you to see. He’s seducing you. Why else—_

“What the fuck, Aaron?”

Burr realized he had dropped the towel and exposed himself—exposed his craving.

He staggered to grab the towel back and slipped on the last stair of the tub. He fell hard on his bottom and cussed.

Madison tied his robe closed and hurried to his side. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” Burr struggled to move. His butt felt numb and shots of pain raced up his back. He yanked the towel over himself. “I’m sorry.”

“Let’s not talk about it.” Madison looked away. “I’ll get dressed in my room.”

Burr watched the door close and cursed himself. He managed to get up and dress. He wanted to pound his head against one of the mirrors until it broke and cut away his life with the shattered pieces.

“Um, it’s time for dinner,” Madison said from behind the door.

Burr looked at the clock and realized he’d been standing lost in his stupidity for ten minutes. He opened the door. “Look, James. I’m not—I didn’t mean—I—” He cursed himself again at the stammering.

Madison touched his forearm. “I care about you. I wouldn’t have suggested the Jacuzzi if I knew it’d hurt you. I didn’t know.”

“It’s not—I don’t…” Burr groaned in frustration. “I’ve been lonely and I’m really horny today,” he managed to get out. “I really am sorry that I couldn’t control myself. You don’t deserve that.”

A gentle albeit strained smile touched Madison’s face. “Will you be okay?”

Burr nodded.

Madison moved his arm. “I’m starving. Race you!”

Madison was out the door before Burr could even think to move. Dimly he wondered how Jefferson could keep up with the tiny thing but much louder was the stupid yearning that begged him to grab Madison and fuck him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you and please leave a comment!


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hamilton is also dumb.

“Do you prefer Eliza or Elizabeth?” Hamilton asked. He sat down in the empty seat in the cafeteria next to the middle Schuyler sister. Angelica glared at him from the seat across the table.

“Eliza,” she said. “Do you prefer Alex or Alexander?”

Hamilton grinned. “Whichever you want to call me.”

“Disruptive?” Angelica butted in. “We’re saving that seat for Maria. Move along to your little buddies.”

Hamilton ignored the command. “You should join our debate team, Angelica. You’re a hell of a lot smarter than Aaron and you can debate better than Thomas.”

“Us girls have our own debate team,” Angelica said. “That way you boys can stand a chance of winning occasionally.”

Hamilton leaned forward. “And that’s why the teams should be co-ed. I want a challenge.”

“Do you want me on your team or against you?” Angelica questioned. “You contradict yourself, boy.”

“I’ll take what I can get.” Hamilton leaned back in his chair. “What are you studying, Eliza?”

“Nursing,” said Eliza.

“You would look like an angel in a nurse’s uniform.”

Eliza looked at her plate.

Angelica snapped her fingers in Hamilton’s face. “I’ve seen you debate,” she said. “You talk a lot. Fewer words would give you less trouble.”

“I still win,” Hamilton said with a smug grin.

Angelica rolled her eyes. “Against other wordy boys and using unconventional tactics. I watched your last debate on YouTube. Clever.”

“I thought so.” Hamilton’s smirk widened.

Angelica narrowed her eyes. “You’re a bit of a whore.”

“My reputation is what it is.”

Angelica looked away from Hamilton and toward an approaching girl. “Sorry, Maria, you know Alexander does as he pleases.”

“I can take a hint,” Hamilton said. He picked up his plate. “Please, sit, Maria.”

Maria batted her eyelashes at him.

“You didn’t take a hint the first time,” Angelica muttered.

Hamilton moved around to the other side of the table and whispered to Angelica, “Debate me. I dare you.” He winked at Eliza and headed over to sit with Lafayette, Lee, and Laurens. As he sat, he spotted Jefferson heading toward his usual table. “T!” he shouted. “Take a seat.”

Jefferson grimaced but took a seat at the noisy table.

“Where’s the midget?” Lee asked.

Jefferson glared at him. “James is at home.”

“He and Burr are in my government class,” he continued. “They’re partners on a project. Are they studying together tonight? Burr was looking libidinous today. I bet—”

Jefferson ground his teeth. “Fuck you, Lee.”

“Dang, T,” Hamilton said, “tell him how you really feel.”

“This was a mistake.” Jefferson shoved his chair back. “You’re an ass, Hamilton.”

Hamilton frowned. “What did I do to you?” He got up and followed Jefferson to the corner booth. “What’s wrong?”

“Jemmy is having a sleepover with Aaron.”

“Yeah, I heard.” Hamilton slid onto the bench. “So? I noticed Aaron seemed a bit off today but that doesn’t mean he’s going to sleep with James. Why would you even fear James cheating on you? He adores you.”

“Yeah. Adores.” Jefferson shoved his plate aside and almost spilled it on Hamilton. “He wanted to have sex over winter break but he didn’t give me any warning and I hate the pressure to… whatever.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, so the last thing I want to hear is Aaron being horny.”

Hamilton nodded. “I hear you.”

***

Burr stayed awake for most of the night. Madison had insisted it was okay to share his bed, but Burr couldn’t put aside the idea that Madison would invite something further. He didn’t stay awake because he expected sex but more because he didn’t trust himself while asleep.

It stressed Madison, though. Burr could see it in his face the next morning. The pale face and dark circles under his eyes, the tremor in his hands.

“I feel even worse,” Burr murmured as Madison packed his backpack. “I shouldn’t have agreed to come over knowing the mood I was in.”

Madison didn’t answer.

A minute later, when Mrs. Madison came to see if they were ready, he was in tears. Burr sat frozen on the bed.

“Jemmy, what’s wrong?” Mrs. Madison rushed to her son. “Aaron, do you know what upset him?”

Burr felt the blood drain from his face and shook his head.

Mrs. Madison rested a hand against Madison’s head. “You feel warm. I’ll call you a cab, Aaron. James needs to stay home today.”

“I’ll call one ma’am,” Burr mumbled. He grabbed his backpack and yoga mat and hurried out of the bedroom. He could feel his own eyes prickling and a knot tightened in his stomach.

He called a cab and walked to the front gate of the property. He wished for someone to talk to, but Jefferson would hate him now. Maybe he could talk to Hamilton… No, he couldn’t _talk_ to Hamilton but he could fuck him. Is that what he wanted? Hadn’t Hamilton asked him? Did he want to cross that line?

Upon arriving at campus, he headed straight to his dorm room. He threw his things on the floor and slammed the door shut. It was too much work to move the few inches to his bed or desk and he sank to the floor and leaned against the door. A loud throbbing replaced thoughts in his head and he focused on the silence.

A faint chime came from his phone stuffed in his backpack. Burr dragged his backpack near and dug the cell out.

Madison.

His fingers grew sweaty as he opened up the message.

_You didn’t make me feel sick. This just happens a lot. I’m sorry. I know you blame yourself. Please, don’t!_

Burr sucked in a deep breath and scolded himself. He knew Madison. He knew his affliction.

 _You know I’m still going to blame myself,_ he typed, _but that does make me feel a little better. I don’t want to lose your friendship._ He hit send before he could overthink it.

 _Dude, it happens,_ Madison replied. _I should have told you before we went to bed that I was already feeling a little off. I know you didn’t sleep._

_I never sleep anyway._

_Put this behind us? I think our project is going to be amazing._

_Yeah. It will be._

Burr dragged himself off the floor, but he couldn’t get the images out of his head. He could still see Madison’s sharp blue eyes and glowing face. Could picture him about to drop his robe…

Burr checked to make sure his door was locked and striped to his boxers. He got in bed and jerked his hand against himself. He hated himself for it but he hadn’t felt such satisfaction in a while either.

***

Hamilton and Laurens stood outside Burr’s dorm room. Hamilton held a blow horn in his hand.

“You think he’s got someone in there?” Laurens whispered.

“He missed two classes,” Hamilton replied. “I know that’s the only reason I’d miss class.” He knelt down and positioned the air horn near the small gap at the bottom of the door and squeezed the end.

Burr tumbled out of bed and smashed his shoulder onto the tile floor. He had fallen asleep after masturbating and he had no idea what time it was.

The God-awful sound went off again. Burr unlocked the door and threw it open. “What the fuck, Hamilton?”

Hamilton jumped to his feet and held the horn up in Burr’s face. He squeezed it and took off running, Laurens just ahead of him.

Burr ran after him, forgetting that he was only in his underwear until he felt the sidewalk under his feet and heard the slam of the dorm’s front door.

Hamilton and Laurens doubled over with laughter. “You’re such an easy target,” Laurens said. “Look at yourself; you’re a mess.”

Burr ignored him. “Alexander,” he growled. “Let me back in.” He shivered and crossed his arms over his bare chest. He picked up one foot from the cold sidewalk. At least there wasn’t snow on the ground.

Hamilton continued to chuckle. “I don’t have my keys.”

“Fuck you!”

Three girls headed toward them. Burr moved to hide behind Hamilton and Laurens but they shoved him away and in the path of the Schuyler sisters and Maria.

Eliza smiled at Hamilton, oblivious to the nearly naked guy in her path.

Angelica and Maria stepped aside as Burr stumbled away. Angelica glanced at him as Maria continued walking.

“Alex, please,” Burr begged. Goosebumps ran up his legs as a breeze blew against his bare skin.

“Forget your keys?” Angelica asked.

Burr’s teeth chattered.

“Yup,” Hamilton said.

“Typical of you guys,” Angelica said.

Eliza unlocked the front door and the girls headed inside, Hamilton at Eliza’s side.

Burr bolted forward but Laurens tripped him. He caught himself before he fell on the sidewalk but the front door clicked shut behind Laurens before Burr could make it inside.

His heart pounded as he struggled to form a plan of what to do. He couldn’t just stand here until someone else came by. He was already freezing.

Luckily, the panic didn’t get a chance fully to set in before the front door cracked open.

“Come on,” Angelica whispered.

“Thank you.” Burr slipped past her and ran to his dorm.

The first thing he did was pull out the bottom drawer on his desk and grab the bottle of vodka. Shaking fingers struggled to twist the cap. The cap flew across the room when he managed to unscrew it. Didn’t matter, he’d drink the whole bottle.


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hamilton has morals, not great ones, but some.

Burr lost track of how many swigs he took or of how long he sat on the floor in his dorm. He had a feeling that Hamilton was growing frustrated with him, especially after they barely hung out during winter break despite staying in the same house. It was stupid to push Hamilton away when Burr could get what he wanted from him with few strings attached. But his conversation with Washington haunted him. He wouldn’t be responsible for hurting Hamilton again.

Somehow, Burr’s phone ended up in his hand. It took several tries to unlock it. The first thing to show up was the text conversation with Madison.

Trembling, uncontrolled fingers typed against the screen. He hit send.

Madison’s reply was quick, but Burr’s blurry eyes couldn’t read it. He sent another nonsense text.

Somewhere a violin played and it didn’t occur to him that it was the ringtone he’d chosen for Madison. The sound faded away.

He wanted to fuck Madison. He typed another message. He would fuck anyone at this point.

A light knock sounded on his door and made Burr’s head throb. He tried to stand and finally realized how drunk he was when his body didn’t move at all.

The door pushed against his back. “Aaron?” Hamilton said. “James sent me a text that he’s worried about you.”

Burr rolled away from the door and Hamilton was able to get it open enough to squeeze in. Laurens watched them from the hallway.

“How much did you drink, Aaron?” Hamilton asked. He knelt on the floor next to Burr.

 Laurens slipped in the room behind him. “I don’t think he’s even conscious, Ham.”

Hamilton felt for Burr’s pulse. Burr made a few mumbled sounds and reached for Hamilton’s face. His coordination was way off and he grasped at the air a foot to Hamilton’s right.

“Help me get him on the bed,” Hamilton told Laurens.

Together they lifted him up. Burr thrashed at once and managed to get his arms around Hamilton. He pressed his face into Hamilton’s chest as his legs gave out. He mumbled a string of incoherent words.

Laurens pried Burr off and they got him on the bed. “I feel like we’ve done with before,” he muttered thinking back to their freshman year.

“Fuck!” Burr shouted. He reached out at nothing, his eyes tightly closed. More mumbles.

“I think that was your name,” Laurens told Hamilton. “He wants you to fuck him.”

“He’s completely wasted,” Hamilton said.

“So?”

Hamilton stared at his friend. “I have some morals.”

Burr gave the same mumbles again and stretched his hands out. Hamilton grasped it.

“Easy, buddy,” Hamilton said. “You need to sleep.” He looked to Laurens. “Do you think we pushed him over the edge? That trick was kinda mean.”

Laurens shrugged. “Only three girls saw him. Let him sleep it off, Ham. We have a wrestling match in an hour.”

“I’ll stay with him until then.”

“Okay.”

Hamilton picked up Burr’s phone off the floor and stared at it. Not that he wanted to open it, but he realized he had no clue where even to start with guessing a password.

For fifteen minutes, Hamilton sat in silence while Burr giggled and babbled to himself as he squirmed around.

It took Hamilton a few minutes to realize silence had settled. He got up to make sure Burr still breathed. Once reassured, Hamilton found an extra blanket, covered Burr, and moved his pillow under his head. He hurried to his room to grab his phone and found three missed texts from Laurens. As he read the messages, a new message popped up: _Coach says be here in fifteen minutes or you can’t wrestle._

Hamilton returned to Burr’s room and stared at him. He glanced at his phone and sent a quick message. _Can’t make it._

Instantly his phone rang from Laurens. Hamilton silenced it and let it go to voicemail. He sat back at the desk and texted Madison to let him know what happened. He texted Jefferson, too, _I just wanted to see how you’re doing and if James told you that Aaron’s wasted AF. I know you’re at your night class so I won’t bother you further._

He returned to Madison’s message and answered his questions. As he typed, Jefferson replied as well. He switched back to Jefferson’s message.

_Yeah, I heard. Watching a movie in class. Bored._

Hamilton grinned and started a group chat with Madison and Jefferson. They messaged back and forth about Burr, wondering if he was an alcoholic and if so, how long had he been hiding it. 

 _Class is over in ten minutes,_ Jefferson typed. _Want me to stop by, Alex? I think Jem fell asleep._

 _Please,_ Hamilton responded. 

No further messages came from Madison confirming Jefferson’s theory.

Fifteen minutes later, Jefferson texted that he was at the front door. Hamilton let him in the building and returned to Burr’s room. The small room felt even tinier with Jefferson’s bulk.

“Do you think we should tell his uncle or sister?” Jefferson asked. “He’s clearly not coping with something.”

“I don’t know how to contact either of them,” Hamilton said. “Aaron’s an adult. I don’t want to overstep.”

“Yeah, but...” Jefferson trailed off. “I don’t want to see him hurt, ya know? Maybe mention something to Washington?”

Hamilton pursed his lips. “Maybe.”

“Did James tell you everything?” Jefferson asked.

“About how much he loves you?” Hamilton grinned.

Jefferson rubbed his neck. “About Aaron, you fuck.”

Hamilton grin faltered and he nodded. “He overshares, doesn’t he?”

“Sometimes, yeah.” Jefferson glanced at his watch. “Didn’t you have a wrestling match tonight?”

Hamilton shrugged.

“You chose to text me and Jem and babysit Aaron over wrestling? Dude, what’s wrong with you?”

“It’s whatever,” Hamilton said with another shrug. “I didn’t feel like it.”

Jefferson pressed a hand against Hamilton’s forehead. “Nope, as hot-blooded as usual,” he teased.

Hamilton swatted his hand away. “Don’t make me want to punch you.”

“Like you could even reach.”

Hamilton rolled his eyes. “It’s after ten, isn’t it? You don’t have to stay, T.”

“After eleven, actually.” Jefferson stifled a yawn. “I don’t want to abandon you.”

“Nah, go. We both don’t need to get crap sleep.” He walked Jefferson out and grabbed a blanket and pillow from his dorm. Laurens hadn’t returned.

Hamilton folded his blanket like a sleeping bag and lay it on Burr’s rug. He just got comfortable when he heard Burr stir. The next moment, Burr rolled off the bed onto him.

“Easy,” Hamilton grunted. He struggled to get out of his blanket and out from under Burr as he thrashed and mumbled.

“Where am I?” Burr asked his voice still thick and slurred.

“Your room,” Hamilton said. Burr’s head rested against his chest. “Can you stand and get back in bed?”

“I need to pee.”

“Let’s try standing first.” Hamilton turned on the flashlight on his phone and pulled Burr up. He flipped the light switch on. Burr instantly covered his eyes.

“Want to talk about it?” Hamilton asked as he helped Burr to the bathroom.

“No,” Burr said and let it out anyway. “I’m so tired and I can’t focus. I’m gonna fail and I don’t have anyone. No one even cares. I can’t get the motivation to try harder. Everyone else has it so easy and everything hurts and I’m dying and I want to fuck someone and I don’t want to be here.”

“Dang,” Hamilton muttered. “You’re not failing, Aaron. The semester has barely started and the last one you had what, a 3.4? Don’t be so hard on yourself. I got your back, okay?”

Burr stumbled over his own feet. Hamilton tightened his grip. He pushed the bathroom door open. “Can you stand if I let go?”

Burr nodded and wavered on his feet in front of the urinal. He seemed to pee forever and Hamilton stood awkwardly fidgeting with his clothes after he finished going himself.

“Alright, back to bed.” Hamilton slipped his arm under Burr’s.

“You hate me,” Burr said.

“You have no idea how much right now, buddy,” Hamilton said, his voice teasing. He got Burr back to his room and pulled down the blanket.

Burr sat on the bed and struggled to get his legs up.

 “Get some sleep,” Hamilton said.

Burr lay down. His bloodshot eyes watched Hamilton as his eyelids kept closing. He patted the spot next to him. “Please?”

It was a twin-size mattress. It was after midnight. It couldn’t get much worse. Hamilton tossed his pillow next to Burr’s and settled in.

“Puppy,” Burr murmured and pet Hamilton’s stomach. He fell asleep a moment later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Kudos!"


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OT3 ;)

Debate meetings resumed and took up most evenings. Washington kept his team on their toes determined to continue their success. But it was painful to watch the stressed boys sputter out words in coherent sentences.

“Where’s James?” he asked as the boys assembled at the end of the week.

“Sick,” Jefferson said.

“He was sick last week, too,” Hamilton said. “We debate live in two weeks. We kind of need him.”

Jefferson shrugged. “Nothing I can do about it. College is too overwhelming for him.”

“Is he going to drop out?” Burr asked.

“Maybe.” Jefferson yawned and rubbed his temples.

“I won’t keep you boys tonight,” Washington said with pity. “Get some rest.” He stood and patted Hamilton’s shoulder. “We’d love to see you Sunday.”

“Yes, Dad.” Hamilton headed out behind Burr and caught his sleeve. “How are you doing, Aaron?”

“Ran out of vodka,” Burr replied.

“That’s probably a good thing.”

“I’m tired, Alex.” Burr stopped in the middle of the hall. “I only want to sleep.”

Hamilton pulled him in a hug. “You’re depressed. I can go with you to the doctor. It’s okay to get help. I couldn’t function without my meds and there is nothing wrong with that.”

“I don’t have any means to pay for that.” Burr untangled himself from Hamilton’s grasp. “I am not asking Washington for money.”

“Aaron—”

“No, Alexander.” Burr continued down the hall.

Hamilton jogged to catch up. “How can I help? I haven’t seen John in a while; do you want to stay in my room?”

“No.” Burr sped up. “I’m sorry I confessed to you.”

“No!” Hamilton grabbed him. “Do not walk away from me, Aaron Burr. You are not leaving me.” His eyes snapped with anger and panic. “Again.”

“Then fuck me, Alex, because that’s the only thing I want from you.”

Hamilton’s blue-violet eyes born into his dark hazel ones. “Okay.”

They headed to Hamilton’s dorm room. Laurens had only been in and out sporadically for the past few weeks and true to his word not to question his choices, Hamilton had let him be. But when they opened the door, Laurens sat on the floor surrounded by bloody tissues.

“Shit!” Hamilton dropped next to him. “What happened? Where are you bleeding from?”

Laurens opened his mouth and pointed to the gaping hole where his right canine used to be.

“How, Jack?”

“Strip club,” Laurens said and felt the space gingerly with his tongue.

“Where you work?” Burr asked. He sat next to them and touched Laurens’ chin. “Head back. Let me look. My uncle was notorious for bar fights.”

“Yeah,” Laurens said before he let Burr examine him.

Burr pulled back Laurens lip. “Looks like it came out clean enough.”

“He still needs a dentist,” Hamilton said. “Jack, what happened?”

“You’ll probably be okay without a dentist,” Burr whispered, “as long as you’re not in pain.”

Laurens nodded and turned his attention to Hamilton. “Someone got too handsy and socked me in the mouth when I fought back before the bouncer got involved. I’m okay, Alex.”

“I knew this was going to happen.” Hamilton tugged at his hair. “John, you can’t do this anymore. It’ll just get worse from here.”

“You said you’d butt out,” Laurens snapped. “I’m making good money, Alexander. This semester is already paid for. Fuck off.”

Burr grimaced as he watched Hamilton’s face crumple at those words and his lip tremble. He scooted across the floor to stroke his friend’s face. “Everything is okay,” he soothed in a gentle tone.

“John’s going to get himself killed and you’re depressed,” Hamilton wailed. “I can’t do this! I can’t take care of your guys.”

“No one is asking you to, babe,” Laurens said. He moved to sit on Hamilton’s other side. “Hammy, look at me.”

Hamilton shook his head and folded himself in half, forehead against his knees.

Laurens rubbed his back and met Burr’s eyes. “What do we do?”

“We actually stay and help him for once,” Burr said. “Let’s push the beds together. I’ll stay with you guys tonight.”

Laurens agreed. He lifted a trembling Hamilton into his arms and set him on one bed. He and Burr pushed the other next to it. Burr left for a minute to get his pajamas and pillow. Together they managed to get Hamilton undressed and tucked in and they lay down on either side of him.

Hamilton lay on his stomach and let Laurens rub the back of his head while he clung to Burr’s hand. The scream that wanted to burst free slowly burned away but he couldn’t yet fight the terror of the unknown and his body continued to tremble.

“Do you need your rescue meds?” Burr asked.

Hamilton shook his head.

“What do you want us to do?”

“Closer,” Hamilton whispered.

Obliging, his friends moved in nearer to press him tight between them. The warmth and pressure eased some of the pain in Hamilton’s scattered mind. He focused on Laurens’ hand against his hair and Burr’s on his hand and arm. He counted his breaths, counted how many seconds he held it and released it. He fell asleep without further panic.

 

Burr woke to a kick in the knee and stared around the room in hazy confusion as his eyes and brain made it to the same page.

“Sorry,” Laurens grunted. He rolled on his back and stared at the ceiling.

They both sat up at the same time. “Where’s Alex?” Burr panicked.

The door opened and Hamilton popped in. “Good morning.” He set coffee cups and a paper bag on his desk. “I brought breakfast. I got you hot chocolate, Aaron.”

“You must be feeling better,” Laurens said. His eyes lingered on Burr next to him. How long ago had Hamilton gotten up and left them snuggling together?

“Yes.” Hamilton handed out drinks. “Thank you, guys. It meant a lot to me that you both stayed. How’s your mouth?”

Laurens shrugged. He sipped his coffee.

Burr took his drink. “No more fear?”

“Until the next time,” Hamilton said. He sat down next to Burr’s feet.

It would have been a nice, cozy morning, but Laurens phone soon rang.

“I have to go,” he said after the quick call. He got off the bed and kissed Hamilton’s cheek. “Don’t worry about me, babe. Take care of yourself today, okay?”

“I love you,” Hamilton whispered.

Laurens kissed his cheek again. He gathered his things and hurried out of the room.

Burr watched Hamilton’s face for any signs of distress. While he looked tired and a little sad, no alarm bells rang in Burr’s head of any immediate danger. “He will be okay,” he said half to himself. “John’s scrappy.”

“John’s going to get himself killed,” Hamilton replied. He met Burr’s eyes. “That wasn’t a strip club injury and you know it. He’s on the streets, Aaron. He’s a prostitute. Like my mom.”


	40. Chapter 40

A pounding on the wall startled Hamilton awake. 

“Shut up already!” his dorm neighbor shouted.

Hamilton curled into a ball and realized he must have been screaming. The pain from the nightmare remained and squeezed his organs tight.

“John?” he whispered and pulled out his phone from under his pillow. The glow from the screen was enough to see that Laurens’ bed remained empty.

He tried to fall back asleep but the horror was too vivid. With a hand shielding his eyes, he headed into the bright hallway and ran to the end. He knocked on Burr’s door and heard a thump as he rolled out of bed.

Burr opened the door with a mumbled, “Alexander, it’s the middle of the night.”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Nightmares?” Burr closed the door behind him.

“Yeah.” Hamilton got on the bed.

“Storms, snakes—”

“My mom,” Hamilton interrupted. 

Burr joined him in bed. “I thought everything was good when your mom was alive?”

“It was.” Hamilton moved as close as possible. “But I’m now remembering some repressed memories from when I was a kid.”

“Maybe they aren’t true,” Burr suggested. He wrapped his arms tight around his friend.

“I know they are. Did your uncle ever do anything bad in order to protect you and your sister?”

Burr’s chest heaved with a deep sigh. “No. He did drugs, though.”

Hamilton patted his stomach. “Sorry.”

“Is this about what your mom did? The… prostitution?”

Hamilton buried his face into Burr’s side. “In the memories I hadn’t blocked I remember walking through the village with her and people shunning us, calling her names. We weren’t allowed in some of the stores that sold food. There was a lot of misinformation and superstition there. Mom was seen as tainted. And me, a bastard, just as much.”

“I’m sorry, Alex.” Burr kissed his hair.

“It gets worse.” Hamilton’s voice was muffled against Burr. “Most of the men weren’t complete jerks. They got what they wanted and paid but there was one who...” He ground his teeth at the resurfaced memory. “He’d throw Mom around and hit her. I was around ten and there was no way I was going to stand my mom being hurt even thought I was supposed to stay outside. The man grabbed me—”

“Alex,” Burr whispered.

“—and tied me to the bed post and made me watch him rape my mom.”

“Alex.” Burr cradled him close. “I’m so sorry.”

“I couldn’t help her.” Hot tears leaked down his cheeks and dampened Burr’s shirt. “I just wanted to help her.”

“I know,” Burr soothed.

Hamilton choked out another sob. “It’s going to happen to John sooner or later, Aaron.” He rolled himself into a ball and tugged at his hair. “I have to protect him.”

“Have you told Washington about these memories or about John?”

“He can’t fix everything, Aaron.”

Burr didn’t argue. As much as he respected Washington, he knew the truth too well.

***

Washington assessed his team and found them in no better shape than last time.

Madison still sniffled from a cold and huddled under Jefferson’s coat. Despite it being after six in the evening, Jefferson nursed a coffee cup. Hamilton and Burr looked no more awake and leaned against each other.

“We go on stage tomorrow,” Washington said. “Are you ready?”

“We’ll be fine,” Jefferson said. “We know how to work together now.”

Madison sneezed.

Jefferson found him a tissue.

“Is John debating?” Hamilton asked.

“As far as I know,” Washington said. He watched his foster son. “Do you need to tell me something about him?”

Hamilton shook his head and ignored Burr’s eyes boring into him.

***

He woke himself with a scream that night. He fell off his bed and scrambled under Laurens’ bed as his heart pounded and images continued to flash in his mind. He could see his mom fighting off the man in the alley, hear her screams, see the blood running down her legs.

“No!” he shrieked and tore out of the room. He pounded on Burr’s door and then against Burr’s chest once he answered.

“Alex, Alex, calm down,” Burr held him tight while his head throbbed from the hallway light. “I got you. Everything is okay.” He pushed the door closed with his foot.

Hamilton cried and his energy drained away. He forced Burr to the floor as his legs gave out and he buried himself in his friend.

Burr leaned against his desk and rubbed Hamilton’s head and back. “Deep breathes.” His own eyes closed.

“I want Daddy,” Hamilton whispered and a howl of terror escaped his lips.

Burr cringed at the sound patted Hamilton’s back harder than he meant to.

Hamilton jerked away. “Don’t hurt me!”

“Sorry.” Burr hid a yawn and grabbed his phone. He lacked patience on the best of nights and dealing with Hamilton while hungover and half-asleep was not his forte.

Washington gave a grunting, “Yes?”

“Alexander needs you,” Burr said through a yawn and his eyes closed again.

“Put him on.”

Burr handed Hamilton his phone.

“Daddy!” Hamilton cried. “Come get me. I’m scared.”

“I’m on my way.” Washington kept him talking while he drove to the college at one in the morning. He talked Hamilton through his fear, and about the repressed memories of his mom and what she had to do to keep him safe and fed. By the time he got to the dorm, Burr had fallen asleep and Hamilton’s tears were at least quieter.

By morning, _he_ was okay and ready to debate. Burr remained hungover and words made little sense to him. Yet the team advanced.

Despite his own exhaustion, Washington celebrated enthusiastically as his team.


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for Debate, again.

The team settled into their hotel room, the usual two queen-size beds.

“Are we prepared enough, do you think?” Hamilton asked as he cornered Jefferson outside the bathroom door. “We barely qualified this time.”

“We’re decent under pressure,” Jefferson said.

“Yeah, but…” He indicated to their researchers crashed on separate beds, one sick and one depressed. “They don’t function under pressure. They’re barely functioning right now.”

Jefferson sighed. “We’ll manage.”

They joined their friends and watched TV until ten. No one got a good sleep as Madison coughed and got up to use the bathroom often.

As the boys dressed the next morning, Madison stared in despair at his dress pants.

“I hate pants,” he moaned.

“You wear jeans all the time,” Jefferson said as he put on his tie, “how is that any different?”

“Different aesthetic.” Madison wadded up the slacks and tossed them on the bed. “I don’t like the feel. I don’t like how they make me feel.”

“Which is?” Jefferson folded up the pants.

Madison glanced at him, tentative to answer knowing how his boyfriend would react. “Like a boy,” he murmured. 

Jefferson sighed. “I thought that’s how you identified?”

“Yeah, but certain things I don’t like. I like skinny jeans and boy’s t-shirts but I’d rather wear a skirt if I dress up. It feels better. Do you think I can?”

“No, I don’t think you can, Jem.” 

Madison’s shoulders drooped and tears gathered in his eyes. “I don’t want to wear them.”

Hamilton and Burr came out of the bathroom. “What’s the problem?” Hamilton asked.

Madison pointed to his pants. “I’m not wearing them.”

“You didn’t have a problem last fall,” Jefferson tried to reason.

“I wasn’t sick,” Madison said. “Pants will make me feel worse.”

“Let him wear a skirt,” Burr said. He slipped on his suit jacket. “Who’s going to care?”

“There is a dress code, Aaron,” Jefferson said. “Suits and ties.”

“But does it specify trousers?” Burr stopped a yawn. “The girls teams wear skirts and jackets.”

Hamilton grabbed his phone to check.

Jefferson looked at his watch and grimaced at the time. They had fifteen minutes to get downstairs. At least other than Madison wearing no bottoms, they were ready.

“I dunno,” Hamilton said. “It says formal attire. You kind of have to assume for a guy it would be pants. But I don’t see that it says he can’t wear a skirt.”

“I’m wearing a skirt then,” Madison said and opened his suitcase.

“But you could get us disqualified,” Jefferson said.

Madison glared at him. “So my comfort is less important?”

“Yes. Sorry.” Jefferson gave an apologetic shrug. “I need a good showing here to skip some classes in law school.”

Madison shook his head. “I’m wearing a skirt.” He pulled out a black skirt. He slipped it on and zipped up the side.

“Get your shoes and let’s go,” Jefferson said and headed for the door.

Madison quickly put on black no-show socks and loafers and hurried after his boyfriend.

Washington didn’t have a chance to say anything as the boys met him right on time and they headed into the convention hall.

Breakfast at this debate wasn’t as fancy as the one last fall but none of the boys had much of an appetite anyway.

The half-hour prep time came too soon and the boys huddled together and attempted a plan.

“Think you can strip on stage?” Jefferson asked Hamilton. “We need all the tricks we can pull.”

Hamilton rolled his eyes. “Well, if you can think of a way to fit that into the topic of energy conservation, I’ll gladly do it for you.”

He was second to speak and made a decent effort—not quite his usual standard but still better than average.

Jefferson was seventh and took their first buzzer when he looked to Madison to supply his number card but Madison wasn’t paying attention. After an agonizing twenty seconds of silence, the buzzer jarred Madison into focus and he held up his cue card.

They weren’t disqualified for Madison wearing a skirt, at least, but during the morning break, the team next to them couldn’t keep silent.

“You know the debate is boy’s only, right?” asked the team leader. He leaned forward in his chair to see around Jefferson. “How’d you get a girl on your team?’

“James is a boy,” Jefferson snarled. “Leave us alone.”

The boy rolled his eyes. “So is he like trans or something? What’s he got under the skirt?”

“Not your business,” Hamilton told him.

Madison stared at his feet and Burr kept quiet.

The team leader smirked. “You said his name was James, right? James Madison?”

Jefferson’s eyes narrowed. “What’s it to you?”

“Well, if he is, then I do know what he’s got under that skirt. Not sure if it qualifies as a penis.”

Jefferson and Hamilton stood. “What are you talking about?” Hamilton demanded while Jefferson used his bulk to intimidate.

“I have a picture.” The boy grabbed his researcher’s laptop and typed and clicked a few things. He turned the device around to show them the nude picture of Madison.

Jefferson slammed the screen closed. “Where did you get that?”

“A friend.” He grinned. “Like I said, he’s barely a boy. I can see why he’d want to wear a skirt.”

“Delete the picture,” Hamilton growled at him.

“No.”

Jefferson reached for the laptop.

“No sharing devices,” a moderator called out. “Places, gentleman.”

Hamilton and Jefferson didn’t budge until Washington pushed them toward their chairs.

“We have a crisis, Dad,” Hamilton murmured.

“Focus,” Washington chided.

“I can’t.”

Jefferson ground his teeth and took Madison’s hand. “Did you see?”

Madison nodded, head bowed with his long hair hiding his face.

“What do I do?”

Madison shrugged.

“How would he get that?” Jefferson fumed. He picked at his lip. “Did your phone get hacked?”

“Just shut up,” Madison said. He covered his face with his hands.

Hamilton managed to make it through the rest of his speeches that day but Jefferson sputtered out lackluster sentences and received multiple buzzes. They finished fifth for the day.

“What happened?” Washington asked as he followed his team out of the convention hall.

“Me,” Madison said as he dragged himself behind the others. “If I hadn’t worn a skirt that boy wouldn’t have had reason to make fun of me.”

“He already knew who you were,” Jefferson said. “He had the picture. He would have found a way.”

“What is this picture of?” Washington asked. He glanced around sensing he was missing a child and spotted Burr lingering at the entrance to the bar. “Aaron, get over here.”

“Me,” Madison repeated as they got in the elevator. “It was a picture I had sent to Thomas.”

Washington sighed.

“This pisses me off,” Jefferson snapped. “I never shared it. How would someone else have gotten it? Are you sure you weren’t hacked, Jemmy?”

“Dunno.” Madison hunched his shoulders. “Probably got uploaded to my cloud or something.”

The elevator dinged and the group got out. Madison dragged behind slower and slower until Washington was obliged to pick him up.

Madison wrapped his arms around Washington’s neck, head pressed against his shoulder. He held on tighter when Jefferson tried to take him.

“Get me his stuff,” Washington said. “He can stay in my room tonight.”

Jefferson didn’t argue and gathered the stuffed animals and blanket off the bed and his toiletry bag from the bathroom. He locked the door behind them and closed himself in the bathroom.

Hamilton and Burr changed out of their suits and lounged on their bed.

“Have you ever sexted?” Burr asked.

“Sort of,” Hamilton said. “Usually through video chats.”

“No pictures of you out there then?” Burr unlocked his phone and went on Tumblr.

“Oh, there is stuff out there of me,” Hamilton said. He leaned against Burr to look at his phone. “I had some shit foster families.”

“Seriously?” Burr tried to meet his eyes but Hamilton kept his on the phone.

He didn’t answer and scrolled through several posts.

Jefferson left the bathroom and stood at the foot of their bed. “What am I supposed to do?” he asked them.

“Not sext your boyfriend,” Burr said.

“There’s nothing you can do, T,” Hamilton said. “No one will care after a few days if it even gets shared around. No one remained interested in your picture for very long.”

Jefferson grumbled in his throat. “Don’t remind me. I still hate you for that but it was just my ass. This is Jem’s front.”

“Yeah, and you probably shouldn’t let him,” Hamilton said, “because, no offense, but it looked like child porn.”

Jefferson cuffed Hamilton across the head. “Shut up!”

Hamilton covered his head with his arms. “I wasn’t insinuating anything! Just saying it’ll get flagged somewhere and taken off the internet or something. Don’t hit me.”

Jefferson dropped on the bed. “Sorry. I feel like Jemmy blames me.”

“He’s humiliated,” Burr said. “Give him some space.”

Jefferson nodded.

 

At least it was a king-size bed, Washington thought as he watched Madison situate his collection of stuffed animals. He didn’t kick as much as Hamilton did either but Madison had a habit of talking in his sleep when he was overly stressed. All nonsense but it startled Washington awake many times throughout the night and every time he rolled over, he squashed a different stuffed animal and all of them had horns.

His alarm went off at six and Washington tried to untangle himself from the mess of toys, blankets, and Madison’s clinging limbs.

Madison whimpered and rolled over. He hit Washington in the face with a stuffed narwhal.

“Jemmy, I need to get up,” he murmured.

Madison pressed his face into Washington’s stomach.

Washington rubbed his back for a few minutes until Madison returned to slumber. He carefully extricated himself and sent up a grateful prayer that Hamilton wasn’t as toy obsessed.

He woke Madison before seven and headed downstairs to get his team checked in for the next day.

As he got out of the shower, Madison heard a knock on the door.

“Jemmy?” Jefferson called.

Madison wrapped a towel around his waist and unlocked the room door.

“How’re you feeling?” Jefferson asked. He closed the door behind him.

Madison shrugged. “Humiliated.”

“I understand. It won’t last long, I promise.”

Madison set his clothes out on the bed. “What if it was Adams?”

“I thought that, too,” Jefferson admitted. “I did some research last night on that kid who had the picture and he and Adams did go to summer camp together. They could still be friends.”

Madison closed his eyes and his small body collapsed against Jefferson. “I can’t do this, T!” Tears streamed down his cheeks. “It’s even worse if he’s Adams’ friend. It’s not an isolated incident then. He’s still harassing me. When’s it going to stop?” He sobs peaked and he beat his fists into Jefferson’s chest.

Jefferson cradled him and kissed his wet hair. He was still trying to soothe his boyfriend when Washington returned.

“Well, I have some good news,” he said.

Madison turned his tear-streaked face from Jefferson. “We lost and can go home?” He hiccupped.

“No, but that other team was disqualified for having inappropriate content on their computers.”

“Serves them right,” Jefferson spat. He squeezed Madison tight. “Everything will be okay. Let’s get you dressed.”

While Madison dressed, Washington picked up the unicorn, narwhal, and some rainbow-colored creature that looked like an alpaca but with a horn. “You do a good job taking care of him, Thomas,” he said. “I know it’s not always easy.”

“I could literally kill him at least once a week,” Jefferson said. “He’s cute, though.” He folded up Madison’s baby blanket and held it against his nose. Madison was very particular about the detergent his mom used and the scent was ingrained in Jefferson’s mind to remind him of his boyfriend. “And if he comes out wearing a skirt again today, I will kill him.”

Madison came out of the bathroom a few minutes later in his black skirt and held out his tie to Jefferson.

“Cute skirt, Jemmy,” Jefferson said while he gave Washington a strained smile over his boyfriend’s head.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys go camping. It goes about as well as you'd think.

The four boys came inside after swimming in the Madison’s heated pool to find the Washington’s, Mrs. Jefferson, and the Madison’s sitting at the kitchen table. Each boy cussed under his breath. Except Burr who felt a pang of sadness that no parent would ever give a crap about him. He hung back by the door and wrapped his towel tighter around his shoulders.

“What’d we do?” Hamilton asked.

Mr. Madison looked at his son. “Jemmy, did you think you could go camping without telling us?”

Madison looked at his friends before meeting his father’s eyes. “Yes?”

“How did you find out we planned to go camping?” Jefferson asked. They had only decided on a camping trip over spring break a few days ago. Nothing was even fully planned yet.

Hamilton raised his hand. “I may have accidentally mentioned something to Dad.”

“And I thought Jem was the blabbermouth.”

“Hey!” Madison exclaimed. 

Jefferson soothed him with a caress against his cheek. 

“Are we not allowed to go?” Hamilton asked.

The parents looked at each other.

“We can’t allow Jemmy to go,” Mr. Madison said.

“No!” Madison wailed. “I never get to do anything.”

Mr. Madison held up a hand to shush him. “But if you’ll allow George to go with you, we’ll let you go.”

The boys shared silent communication the way their parents had. 

“Okay,” Madison said. 

“You won’t even know I’m there,” Washington said. 

Hamilton rolled his eyes. “Yeah, right.” He took a seat on Washington's knee. “We still need a tent and sleeping bags.”

“And that’s now my responsibility?” Washington asked. He wrapped Hamilton’s towel back around his shoulders. “Go change, you’re getting my pants all wet.”

“Nope.” Hamilton leaned back against him and rubbed his wet hair against Washington’s face.

Washington pushed him off. “Change and make a list of what you need.”

The boys headed out of the kitchen as Madison asked, “Can we just rent a camper?”

Jefferson swung Madison into his arms. “You can survive a few nights in a tent, I promise.”

“But there won’t be a shower.” Madison used his flexibility to dig his bare toes into the waistband of Jefferson’s swim shorts.

“If you’re going to act like that, we’ll leave you here,” Jefferson said and kissed Madison’s nose.

“Get a room,” Hamilton moaned. “If you guys are going to act like that, we’ll leave both of you here.” He held his hands out to Jefferson. “My turn, though.”

“He’ll try to take your shorts off,” Jefferson warned and pried his boyfriend loose to give to Hamilton.

Hamilton clasped his hands against Madison’s legs but struggled to carry him.

“I love being the baby,” Madison said with a giggle. He went dead weight in Hamilton’s arms, let himself slide to the floor and took Hamilton’s shorts with him.

“Told you,” Jefferson said with a smirk.

Hamilton pulled his shorts up. “You know I have no shame.” He turned to Burr. “You’re awful quiet, buddy.”

“Huh?” Burr snapped his eyes back in focus. “Um, just thinking about what we need for the trip.”

“Good,” Jefferson said. He rubbed a hand against Burr’s short hair. “Someone ought to be responsible. What do we need?”

After changing, the boys sat on the floor in Madison’s room and made a list.

 “Marshmallow, chocolate, and graham crackers,” Madison said typing on his phone as he sat between Jefferson’s legs.

Jefferson kissed his head.

“Let’s get hotdogs,” Hamilton said.

Madison made a face. “Can’t we have real food?”

“Hotdogs are as real as marshmallows,” Hamilton insisted. “I won’t get the super cheap kind.”

“I suppose.”

Jefferson cuddled him tighter. “What would you prefer?” he whispered.

Madison shrugged. “You know I’ll just eat marshmallows anyway.”

The door opened and everyone looked up as Nelly and William poked their heads in.

“We’re making milkshakes,” William said. “Do you want—?”

“Yes.” Madison jumped up. “You guys want some?”

There was a chorus of “yeah” and “sure.” They followed the younger Madison children to the upstairs kitchen.

Madison grabbed out a carton of vanilla ice cream and six tall glasses. William pulled out chocolate milk and chocolate syrup.

“It’s a ‘Madison Milkshake’,” Jefferson intoned to Burr and Hamilton. “It’s chocolate overkill.”

“I can see,” Burr said as he watched Madison fill half the glass with chocolate milk and squeeze in at least a tablespoon of syrup. “Can we make is a ‘Burr shake’ and add vodka?”

Hamilton smacked him. “You need to lay off that stuff.”

“Cool it,” Jefferson said.

“Just saying.” Burr shrugged.

Once all the milkshakes were created, the boys went back to making their camping list with the helpful suggestions of “steak” and “oatmeal” from the little kids.

***

Washington procured them a tent and sleeping bags. He drove them up in a friend’s jeep.

“Do we need rules?” Washington asked as he turned off the highway and headed into the mountains. “I want to be able to enjoy myself, too. You boys were trouble on your last trip.”

“We didn’t bring any alcohol,” Hamilton said. “Don’t take away all our fun.”

“Fine.”

An hour later, Washington pulled into their campsite. Jefferson, Burr, and Hamilton set up their tent and a smaller one for Washington out of sight from theirs. Madison and Washington made a campfire.

“All done, Dad!” Hamilton shouted and ran toward the flickering fire. “What else do you want me to do?”

“You can grab my chair out of the jeep,” Washington said, “and find something for yourselves to sit on.”

Hamilton ran to the jeep and grabbed Washington’s folding camp chair. Burr and Jefferson dragged some large logs near the fire to sit on.

Jefferson watched Madison standing still near the fire and wrapped an arm around him. “Okay?”

“A little cold,” Madison said.

Jefferson unzipped his hoodie and draped it over his boyfriend’s shoulders. He put the hood up and Madison disappeared under the fabric.

“I swear you keep getting shorter, James,” Hamilton teased.

“You’re not much taller,” Madison retorted.

“Three inches is quite a lot.”

Jefferson wrapped his arms around Madison and bent down to rest his chin on Madison’s head. “I like you tiny. It makes you bitter and spiteful.”

Madison elbowed him in the stomach. “I’ll give you bitter and spiteful.”

“Try. I can move you anywhere I want.”

Madison leaned against him. “Maybe later.”

Jefferson pulled the hood back and kissed his head.

Burr dragged the cooler over. “I’m starving. Can we eat?”

They all looked to Washington. He chuckled. “You boys can do as you please. Just save me at least one hotdog.” He sat in his camp chair and opened a book.

“Lame,” Hamilton muttered. He opened the cooler and pulled out a package of hotdogs. Burr handed around the skewers.

“You going try one, Jemmy?” Jefferson asked. He took a seat on the logs and pulled Madison in his lap. Burr handed him a hotdog and stick.

“Yeah, I guess.” Madison took the next skewered hotdog Burr held out.

It only took thirty seconds for Hamilton to catch his hotdog on fire.

“Don’t wave it around,” Burr scolded. “It’ll go flying and start a forest fire.”

“Yes, please, don’t,” agreed Washington not looking up from his book.

As promised, the boys saved one hotdog and moved onto making s’mores.

Madison stood before the fire dwarfed in Jefferson’s hoodie and looked like a little kid roasting his marshmallow. He was the best at getting them perfectly toasted. Most of Hamilton’s caught on fire.

Night fell long before everyone was satisfied. Washington stared at the sky now that it was too dark to read. He retired to his tent soon after.

Jefferson hid a yawn. “Want to go for a walk, Jem?”

Madison stood and Jefferson found his hand beneath the long sleeves. He grabbed a flashlight and blanket from the jeep.

“Should we wait up?” Burr asked.

“I wouldn’t,” Jefferson said.

They headed away from the campsite.

“Where’re we going?” Madison asked.

“I saw this spot earlier. It looked nice and soft.

Madison slipped his hand in Jefferson’s pocket. Jefferson groaned. “Damn, Jem, cool it.”

They walked a little further to a small clearing. Jefferson threw the blanket down. “I know it’s kind of cold out…”

Madison stood on his toes and reached his arms around Jefferson’s neck. Jefferson lifted him up and their lips pressed together. Madison’s legs wrapped around his waist and Jefferson gripped his backside.

“I’m good,” Madison murmured, “as long as I’m against you.”

Jefferson moved toward the ground never letting go of his boyfriend. He pulled off the oversized hoodie and kissed Madison’s neck.

Madison’s hands moved under Jefferson’s shirt and traced his nipples.

“Take it,” Jefferson murmured and Madison pulled off his shirt. Jefferson did the same to him and lowered his body over Madison’s to keep him warm.

“How far do you want to go?” Jefferson asked as he trailed his lips down Madison’s chest.

“Keep going,” Madison said. He shivered as Jefferson moved further down and he lost some of the warmth. But new heat flooded in him as Jefferson unbuttoned his jeans and tugged them down.

Madison could feel Jefferson’s eyes on his face searching in the dark for reassurance. “Keep going.”

Jefferson pulled down Madison’s boxers and lowered his head.

Madison gasped as his body reacted and throbbed in Jefferson’s mouth.

Clothes would be hard to find later in the dark, Madison dimly thought, as things grew hotter. The blanket rumpled beneath them but neither cared or noticed the discomfort of the ground.

“I have condoms if we can find my jeans,” Madison panted as Jefferson knelt over him and trailed kisses down his neck.

“Not tonight,” Jefferson replied. He ducked away from Madison’s kiss and grabbed his face. His own chest heaved as he struggled to catch his breath. “I’m exhausted.”

Madison traced his fingers against Jefferson’s lips. “I love you.”

Jefferson smiled. “I love you, too.”

They stayed warm in each other’s body heat for a few more minutes. Then Jefferson found the flashlight and searched for their clothes. Madison found the hoodie first and wrapped himself in it. Jefferson found their jeans and his own shoes.

“I remember throwing something,” he said. “It may have been your shoe.”

“We’ll find it tomorrow,” Madison said. “I have your shirt and a sock.”

“I kind of want underwear,” Jefferson said, “but I’m also beginning to freeze.”

“Me, too.”

They dressed in what they found and Jefferson picked up Madison.

The campfire was long cold. Jefferson slowly unzipped the tent and set Madison inside. They found their sleeping bags laid out side by side. They didn’t want to risk waking their friends and skipped changing into their pajamas.

“I’m freezing,” whispered Madison ten minutes after getting in his sleeping bag.

“Share mine,” Jefferson whispered back and unzipped it. He heard Madison fumbling around for a minute before his tiny, naked body slipped in next to him.

Jefferson groaned. “Did you forget I was tired?”

“I just want to be close to you,” Madison replied. He pulled Jefferson’s shirt up until he obliged and maneuvered if off. Madison nestled his head into Jefferson’s chest and tucked his legs in between Jefferson’s.

Madison’s body relaxed and he was asleep in minutes.


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madison gets poison ivy.

“Wake up, sleepy heads!” Burr said.

“Yo, fuckers!” Hamilton shouted. “Wake up.”

Jefferson squinted at the sunlight soaking into the tent. Madison groaned in his arms.

“It’s way too early,” Jefferson mumbled.

“Yeah, well tell the sun to turn off,” Hamilton said. “It’s almost seven. Washington’s making breakfast.” He glanced at Burr. “You wanna tell ‘em?”

“What?” Jefferson muttered.

“Washington went for a walk this morning,” Burr said. “That stuff yours?” He pointed near the entrance of the tent where some clothes and Madison’s shoes lay.

“Ah, fuck,” said Jefferson.

“I don’t want to know,” replied Madison as he kept himself snug against his boyfriend.

“No, you don’t.”

“Anyway,” Hamilton said with a grin. “You might want to get up and dressed.”

Burr unzipped the tent. Hamilton followed him out.

“Come on, Jemmy,” Jefferson said. He unzipped the sleeping bag and rolled over Madison. He grabbed his backpack and changed into clean clothes.

Madison scratched his back as he sat up. Then his stomach, and legs, and butt. “Thomas?”

Jefferson looked quick at the panic in Madison’s voice. “Oh, shit.”

Red bumps and splotches covered most of Madison’s back and butt and splotched over his legs and stomach.

Jefferson checked himself but didn’t see any similar rash.

“I think it’s poison ivy,” Madison moaned and scratched his legs. “You know how susceptible I am to everything.”

Jefferson rubbed his forehead. “Shit, I’m sorry Jem.”

“It itches.” He scratched at his shoulder blades. “Thomas,” he whined.

“I know, babe. Where’s your first aid kit? You have every kind of ointment in there.”

Madison pointed to the red bag in the right corner of the tent. He struggled to reach the itch in the center of his back.

“Don’t scratch,” Jefferson said. He dug through the first aid bag and found a bottle of calamine lotion.

Burr stuck his head in the tent. “Hey, what’s—oh, shit.”

“What’s going on?” Hamilton asked.

Burr bumped him out of the way. “Keep Washington busy,” he hissed. He slipped into the tent and zipped his closed. “What’d you do to him, T?”

Jefferson gritted his teeth as he smoothed the lotion over Madison’s back. “He rolled in poison ivy.”

“You let him be on the bottom? Didn’t you crush him?”

“Shut up, Burr.”

“It itches,” Madison whined.

Jefferson slapped his hands as he tried to scratch his legs. “You’re already getting blisters on your back; don’t make it worse.”

“You have to tell Washington,” Burr said.

“It’ll be fine,” Jefferson said. “I don’t want to get in trouble.” He capped the lotion bottle and handed Madison clean clothes. “Don’t scratch.”

Tears glistened in Madison’s eyes as he nodded.

Washington watched them as they came out of the tent. “I’ve heard Alexander’s life story twice,” he said, “what took so long? Breakfast is nearly cold now.”

“Sorry, sir,” Jefferson said. His mind blanked on any plausible lie and he fell silent.

They ate the fried potatoes Washington made. Hamilton and Burr struggled to keep a conversation going to hide Madison’s discomfort and Jefferson’s worry.

Washington didn’t pester with questions. After breakfast dishes were cleaned, he suggested a hike to a nice fishing hole. The boys had to agree.

“We can find a creek for you to soak in,” Jefferson whispered to Madison. He packed the calamine lotion in his backpack along with their water and snacks.

Madison nodded and rubbed at his stomach.

Jefferson watched him with pitiful eyes. He wasn’t surprised only Madison had a rash. Jefferson couldn’t remember himself coming in contact with the ground other than his hands, knees, and toes. He should have been more careful to make sure Madison stayed on the blanket.

“I’m sorry, Jemmy.”

Madison shrugged.

Jefferson shouldered his backpack and they met the others outside the tent.

The group wasn’t far from camp when Madison began to lag. Jefferson tried to urge him on, but Madison only dragged more and tugged at his clothes.

Washington glanced back and deep wrinkles creased his brow. “Jemmy? What’s wrong?”

“It itches!” Madison blurted and lifted his shirt.

Washington strode back to him at once. “How did you get poison ivy…?” He looked at Jefferson.

Jefferson ducked his head. “It’s how you’re imaging it,” he mumbled.

Washington sighed and shook his head. “Let’s get you in a creek to soak.” He picked up Madison and carried him off the trail to a shallow, easy-moving creek.

The others followed them.

“Why didn’t you say anything earlier?” Washington asked. He set Madison down on a boulder near the water. He knelt down and untied Madison’s boots.

“I don’t know,” Madison mumbled. “Thomas is supposed to take care of me. I don’t want him in trouble.”

Washington glared at Jefferson.

Jefferson stared at the ground.

“Strip to your underwear,” Washington told Madison.

Madison pulled off his shirt and cried out as the fabric rubbed against his back. “It hurts.” His eyes glistened and a tear spilled down his cheek.

Burr cringed at the blisters covering Madison’s back. He glanced at Hamilton and saw his squeamish look.

Jefferson set Madison in the cool water. The concern in his face deepened at the heat coming off Madison’s red skin. “Washington, he’s really warm.”

Washington moved closer and touched Madison’s forehead. “We’re taking him to the hospital.”

Jefferson pinched his bottom lip and cussed when Madison began to seize.

Washington moved fast and got Madison out of the water as Jefferson froze in panic.

“Clear a space,” Washington commanded Jefferson. “Don’t bail on me, boy.”

Burr and Hamilton helped move some rocks out of the way, as Washington lay Madison on his side.

Madison jerked and thrashed. Spit ran from his mouth and his eyes rolled back.

Burr turned away, a shiver running through his body. Hamilton grabbed his hand.

“What can we do, sir?” Hamilton whispered.

“Run back to camp and get the jeep ready to go,” Washington directed.

The seizure was over in a minute and Madison lay limp and clammy.

Jefferson grabbed a hoodie from his backpack and wrapped Madison in it. He picked up his boyfriend and avoided looking at Washington.

They hurried back to camp.

Burr and Hamilton had packed up the food and had the jeep turned around ready to go. Washington got in the driver’s seat, Jefferson with Madison in the passenger. Burr and Hamilton got in back.

Washington tossed his cell at Burr. “Tell me when I have service.”

Burr clutched the phone and stared at it.

They were almost down the mountain before Burr, announced, “You have bars.”

“Dial the hospital,” Washington said. “It’s in my contact list.”

Burr found the number and handed Washington the phone. He gave the emergency and their ETA. The hospital knew Madison well. He called Mr. Madison next.

Tears pooled in Jefferson’s eyes as he listened to the one-sided conversation of Washington explaining what happened. The Madison’s always had such fear of something happening to their Jemmy. Their fears always seemed to be right.

 _They were wrong to trust me;_ Jefferson thought and wished he could hold Madison tighter without hurting him.

Mr. and Mrs. Madison waited at the emergency entrance of the hospital. A nurse had a gurney ready.

Jefferson hesitated to lay Madison down. He was so fragile, swallowed once again in Jefferson’s hoodie.

He managed to keep the tears from spilling as he set Madison on the gurney. He couldn’t look at Mr. or Mrs. Madison. Couldn’t bear to see their mistrust of him, their disappointment.

The Madison’s followed their son into the hospital.

Washington handed the keys to Hamilton. “Go back and dismantle our campsite,” he said. “Thomas, come inside and wait with me.”

Jefferson turned away as the tears finally spilled. “I need to be alone,” he murmured.

“Don’t go far.” Washington headed inside the hospital.

“Hey, man, he’ll be fine,” said Hamilton.

“It’s still my fault!” Jefferson’s voice cracked. “I know how fragile his health is and I still put him in danger. I’m so stupid.”

“Dude…” Hamilton muttered.

“James doesn’t want you to coddle him and hold him back,” Burr said. “You’re the best thing for him. You protect him and still let him have fun and live life. Don’t beat yourself up.”

“I’m still going to.” Jefferson wiped at his cheeks. “His parents aren’t going to trust me again.”

“You’re being arrogant,” Burr insisted. “James is an adult. He’ll make his own choice. And, yeah, maybe he’ll choose his family over you, but you’re going to respect whatever he decides. And you know he’s going to choose you.”

Jefferson rubbed his eyes.  “You guys better go.”

Burr sighed. “We won’t have service, but text us, okay?”

Jefferson nodded.

“Don’t get all broody on us, bro,” Hamilton said.

Jefferson waved them off and took to the path that went around the hospital.

After walking around twice, he headed inside and found the Madison’s and Washington.

“I was about to call you,” Mr. Madison said. “Jemmy is going to be fine.”

Jefferson sank into the nearest chair and let his head fall in his hands. He squeezed his eyes shut as a sob wracked through his body.

Mrs. Madison moved to the seat next to him and patted his back. She was a small lady herself and her delicate hand looked even punier against Jefferson’s back.

The gesture made Jefferson’s sob harder. They didn’t hate him, at least not enough to send him away right then.

“We know Jemmy is high maintenance,” she said. “You do an amazing job with him. You always have.” She pulled Jefferson’s hands away from his face and drew him toward her.

She could barely cradle Jefferson but Mrs. Madison felt like the world’s strongest woman to him. “I love Jem,” Jefferson whispered. “He means everything to me.”

“I know, dear.” Mrs. Madison eased him away. She dabbed a handkerchief against his face. “We love you both very much.”

Mr. Madison moved toward them and patted Jefferson’s shoulder. “You should be able to see him in a few minutes.”

“You guys should see him first,” Jefferson said. “You can’t imagine how much he loves you both.”

Mrs. Madison hugged him.

The doctor soon announced they could see Madison. Jefferson stayed behind with Washington and texted Hamilton.

“You were still foolish,” Washington scolded. “Rolling around out there in the dark. What if you smacked your heads into a rock?”

“I know, sir,” Jefferson mumbled.

“I hope you used protection.”

Jefferson cringed. “Give Alex the speech, he needs it more.”

A faint smile touched Washington’s lip. He returned his attention to an outdated National Geographic magazine.

Jefferson saw Madison ten minutes later.

Madison was drowsy and wrapped in gauze. Yet he reached out for Jefferson and clutched his hand.

Jefferson sat in the chair next to the bed and stared at his boyfriend and tears gathered in his eyes. “You know how much I hate crying,” he said. “Don’t make me lose it like this all the time.” 

Madison reached for his face and brushed his cheeks. “I won’t. One of us ought to hold it together more often and we know that won’t be me.”

Jefferson kissed his fingertips. “You’re okay?”

“Yeah.” Madison yawned. “My fever is down and I have painkillers and ointment for the rash. The doctor suggested you get checked, too. You know your hands and knees.” Madison grinned. “You lazy ass.”

Jefferson pinched Madison’s nose. “I wanted to keep you warm. Nothing would dare poison me. I haven’t seen a rash yet. But I’ll do whatever you want me to do.”

“You can put the ointment on me when I go home. It goes everywhere, literally.”

Jefferson brushed his lips against Madison’s. “My pleasure.”

Madison yawned again. “Where’s Alex and Aaron?”

“Getting all our shit from camp,” Jefferson said. “Do we know how to have fun, or what?”

Madison smiled. “I kinda like it.” He yawned a third time and his eyes fluttered closed.

“Sleep, babe.” Jefferson kissed his forehead. “I won’t be far.”

Madison linked his fingers with Jefferson’s and closed his eyes.


	44. Chapter 44

Jefferson dozed off a little himself as he sat by Madison’s bed. A text from Hamilton woke him and he stared around in hazy confusion for several seconds.

Mrs. Madison looked up from the other side of the bed where she sat crocheting. “You slept through it ringing twice, dear,” she said.

Jefferson yawned and leaned back against the chair. He called Hamilton back, although he spoke to Burr since Hamilton was driving.

“Yeah, everything’s good,” he said. “They want to keep Jem overnight to make sure his fever stays down.”

“That’s a relief. We’re almost back. Do you think we can visit?”

“Lemme ask.” Jefferson lowered his phone and asked Mrs. Madison, “Can Alex and Aaron visit for a minute when Jem wakes?”

“That should be fine, dear,” Mrs. Madison said.

Jefferson raised his phone back up. “Yeah, but don’t let Alexander talk too much, or at all.”

“Got it.”

Jefferson listened to Burr tell Hamilton he had to keep his “whore mouth shut.” Hamilton cussed him out in response.

“You guys are a treat,” Jefferson said. “See you in a bit.”

Burr said goodbye and hung up.

Jefferson pocketed his phone and stretched. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Mrs. Madison smiled and nodded.

Jefferson wandered around until he found a bathroom, then some coffee. He headed for the entrance when Burr texted their arrival.

“Like, what do they think happened?” Hamilton asked at once. “Do the doctors suspect you were rubbing him in the ground?”

“You’re a prick, you know that?” Jefferson teased in a grumble. “I don’t know. I just hope his parents haven’t asked him.”

“But for real, T.” Hamilton grinned. “How do you get a rash down your entire backside if you’re not naked? Everyone knows, bro.”

“Fuck you.”

Madison was awake and eating cherry jello when they arrived at his room.

“Yay, you’re alive!” Hamilton said.

Burr rolled his eyes. “You were told to stay quiet,” he hissed.

“Fu—” Hamilton stopped himself and gave an innocent smile to Mrs. Madison.

She raised an eyebrow at him.

“So you’re good?” Burr asked. “The seizure wasn’t anything too serious?”

“I get them when I have a high fever,” Madison said. “I’m good except this jello sucks.” He handed the half-eaten cup to Jefferson.

“What would you prefer?” Jefferson asked. Food was food to him and he scooped up a spoonful of jello.

“Milkshake and fries.”

“Are you supposed to eat crap like that?”

“Yes,” Madison said at the same time Mrs. Madison said, “No.”

Jefferson grinned. “I’m not disobeying your mother.” He tossed the empty jello container and a plastic spoon in the trash.

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t die,” Hamilton said. He patted Madison’s head. “Would’ve been a hell of a way to go, though, right?” He winked.

Jefferson bared his teeth at him and Burr kicked him. Madison rolled his eyes.

“We’ll see you later,” Burr said. He dragged Hamilton out of the room.

“Chocolate shake, please?” Madison begged Jefferson and clutched his arm.

“Dude, I’m not going to get on your mother’s bad side,” Jefferson said.

“Mom, please?”

Mrs. Madison sighed. “Fine.”

Madison grinned at Jefferson. “Take me with you.”

“Jemmy,” Mrs. Madison scolded. “You’re not moving from this bed until tomorrow morning.”

Madison huffed.

Jefferson touched Madison’s chin and tilted his head up. “I’ll be back in a few minutes, okay?” He pecked Madison’s lips.

Madison nodded and gripped the front of Jefferson’s shirt. He pulled him closer and smashed his lips into Jefferson’s.

Jefferson braced himself against the bed with his knuckles and tried to pull away as his face and neck burned. He finally managed to get his lips free. “Jem! Seriously,” he mumbled.

Madison licked his lips and gestured with his fingers.

Jefferson sent a hasty look at Mrs. Madison but she seemed absorbed in her crocheting, although she could surely hear them.

“Are you high?” Jefferson whispered.

Madison winked.

“Oh, dear, God.” Jefferson backed away from the bed. “I’ll get your milkshake.” He hurried out of the room.

When Jefferson returned, Mr. Madison had taken his wife’s place so she could go home and put their other children to bed.

Jefferson handed the milkshake to Madison. “I don’t mind staying the night, sir,” he told Madison’s father. “You could go home and get some rest.”

“That’s kind, Thomas,” Mr. Madison said, “but I will stay.”

“It really is fine, Dad,” Madison said. “Mom needs your help more than I do right now.”

Mr. Madison smiled at his son. “I’m still staying close by. But I will let you boys eat your dinner. I’ll be back in about an hour before you go to sleep.”

Jefferson watched Mr. Madison leave before he took his seat. He opened the fast food bag and set a large fries on the bed against Madison’s leg. He unwrapped a double cheeseburger for himself. “You could compel him to go home, Jem,” he said. “You’re nineteen.”

“No,” Madison said. He sucked on his milkshake. “I really don’t mind him staying. I only told him he could go in case he did want to.”

Jefferson let the topic drop.

Mr. Madison returned not long after Madison had fallen asleep. “Are you staying, Thomas?”

“Yes, sir.” Jefferson set his phone down and stared at the smudges on the dark screen. It had been a long time since he and Mr. Madison had been alone together, not since he blew up at Madison’s father and stormed out of the courthouse, he was certain.

“My wife has always insisted I was blind,” Mr. Madison said as he took a seat on the other side of Madison’s bed. “I realize now that she was right. How long have you and Jemmy been together?”

Jefferson’s cleared his throat. “Almost a year,” he mumbled.

Mr. Madison sighed. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Jefferson tugged at his shirt collar as heat enveloped his face. “We weren’t sure…”

“How I would take it,” Mr. Madison finished and sighed again. “I’m learning to adjust to his skirts and I’ll do the same with this. Jem is my boy and I want him to be happy. I would ask if you were being safe but after this mess…”

Jefferson cringed. “Um, we’re not having sex,” he choked and scratched his neck. “Um, that was from, um…”

“Good grief, boy,” Mr. Madison said and managed a dry chuckle. “I’m getting more of a picture then I wish. Just be careful; Jemmy is fragile.”

“Jem is tough,” contradicted Jefferson, as his whole head seemed to be on fire. “He always knows what he wants.”

“I never doubted that. I know you make a good companion to Jemmy.”

“I don’t like the term companion,” Jefferson mumbled. “He’s my boyfriend.”

Mr. Madison gave a faint smile. “Pardon. I’ll admit I’m still a little old fashion but Eleanor and I always want whatever makes Jem happy.”

“I know Jem appreciates that.”


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madison... just Madison.

It was a long, uncomfortable night. Jefferson was glad when a nurse came to wake Madison. He stretched out of the hard chair and every bone in his body seemed to crack back into place. Mr. Madison hadn’t fared any better and aggressively rubbed at his aching neck.

“The doctor will check on him within the hour,” the nurse said. “He will be discharged then.”

Mr. Madison thanked her and kissed his son’s forehead. “How are you feeling?”

“Everything hurts,” Madison said. He reached a hand toward Jefferson and locked their fingers together. “But I want to go home.”

“Soon.”

It was a little after an hour before the doctor showed up. He checked Madison over and prescribed him medication for the pain. “This might make him a bit loopy,” he told Mr. Madison. “He’ll need a dose every three hours. We’ll give him the first dose now. An oatmeal bath will help with the itching as well.”

A nurse handed Madison a paper cup with two pills in it and a cup of water.

Madison quickly downed the medicine. “Let’s go.”

“Easy,” Jefferson said and pushed Madison back in bed by the forehead—the only spot he was certain didn’t hurt. “You need to get dressed.”

“I’ll finish the paperwork,” Mr. Madison said. “Meet me in the front.”

Mr. Madison left and Jefferson pulled the curtain around the bed. He untied Madison’s dressing gown.

“You look like hell,” he said.

“Fuck off,” Madison said. He pulled on his boxers and winced.

Jefferson helped him with his sweatpants and t-shirt, then socks and shoes.

Madison walked slowly and everything seemed to chafe together. His lips tightened in pain and his chin wrinkled.

“We’ll get you home soon and in an oatmeal bath,” Jefferson soothed. He tried to walk beside Madison but his long strides were too fast for Madison’s shuffle. He had to stop and wait every other step for Madison to catch up.

By the time they were halfway home, Madison’s medication kicked in and did indeed make him loopy. He unbuckled his seatbelt and untied his shoes.

“What’re you doing, son?” Mr. Madison asked glancing in the rearview mirror. “Buckle up.”

Jefferson turned around. “Jem, hey, keep your clothes on. What the fu—heck?”

Madison pulled off his t-shirt. “Everything itches!” he cried.

“We’re almost home,” Mr. Madison soothed.

Madison fell silent for the rest of the ride but he suddenly started crying when he got out of the car.

“Jemmy, what’s wrong?” Jefferson asked panic seizing his chest.

“My sock’s crooked!” Madison screamed.

Jefferson glanced at Mr. Madison. “Is this Jemmy ‘loopy’?” he asked.

Mr. Madison sighed. “Will you be able to watch him? Hopefully, this won’t last. I have to check in at the office.”

“Yeah,” Jefferson said. He coaxed Madison into the house and made him sit in the kitchen so he could fix his sock.

Mrs. Madison came in with the youngest children in tow. “Jemmy, how’re you feeling?”

“Hungry,” Madison said.

“He’s also out of it,” Jefferson added. He explained about the medication.

“We’ll see how he does in the next hour,” Mrs. Madison said. “I can call his doctor and see if we can switch medication if this makes him too agitated.” She poured Madison a glass of milk.

Madison looked in the cup and howled again. The little siblings looked startled.

“Jemmy, what wrong?” asked Sarah. “Mama, why he cry?”

“Bubbles!” Madison shrieked.

Jefferson couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry himself. “I’ll take him upstairs,” he told Mrs. Madison. “I can keep an eye on him so he doesn’t upset the little ones.”

“Thank you, Thomas. I’ll check on you soon.”

“Jemmy, come upstairs.” Jefferson picked up the glass of milk and a package of Oreo’s.

Madison followed him with tears running down his cheeks. Once in his room, he started fussing about his sock again and dropped to the floor.

Jefferson set the milk and cookies down and pulled Madison’s socks off. “See? Problem solved.”

“Cold feet!” Madison complained and fresh tears spilled down his face.

“Have your snack, okay?” He moved the milk and cookies to the floor rather than attempt to move him. “No bubbles now, see?”

Madison took the cup and stared at the liquid. “It’s not chocolate.”

“Dunk your cookie in it.”

Madison opened the package and pulled out a cookie. He twisted the cookie apart and the tantrum returned. He cried nonsense and threw the cookie on the floor.

“What the fuck, Jemmy?” Jefferson said.

“There was frosting on both sides!”

Jefferson ran a hand down his face. Just then, his phone rang and he was glad of the distraction. “What’s up, Alexander?”

“How’s James?” Hamilton asked on the other line.

“Well…”

Madison screamed.

“What was that?” Hamilton asked.

“That was Jem.”

“The fuck?”

“Yeah, his medication is making him act like a three-year-old. I don’t know what to do.”

“Where’s his mom?” Hamilton asked.

“She’s got the other kids to take care of and—Do not put that in your mouth, James—Mr. Madison had to go into work. I agreed— _James_ —to babysit, which it literally has become. God dammit. Help me?”

Hamilton chuckled. “Yeah, Aaron and I’ll be there in a bit. How do we get in?”

“Just a sec—James, what the fuck are you doing?” He dropped his phone to stop Madison from crushing a handful of Oreo’s. He picked up his phone again. “Sorry. I’ll tell Nelly to watch for you. Thanks, man.”

“I just want to see James acting like a baby.”

Jefferson rolled his eyes and said goodbye. He found Madison’s phone and used it to text Nelly to let Hamilton and Aaron in the front gate while Madison screamed.

“What now, Jem?” Jefferson asked in a strained voice.

Madison looked at him with a tear-streaked red face. “Itchy.”

Jefferson sucked in a deep breath and eased Madison’s t-shirt off. “Does that help?”

Madison nodded.

Jefferson sighed and hoped that was it. But a minute later, Madison spilled his milk and broke into fresh sobs as the liquid got on his pants and bare feet.

He grabbed a towel from the bathroom and sopped up the liquid and wiped Madison’s feet. “Just take off your sweatpants.”

Madison pulled at the drawstring and managed to get it in a knot.

While he let out frustrated howls and fresh tears ran down his face, Hamilton and Burr arrived. They could hear the chaos from the top of the stairs.

“I’m having second thoughts,” Burr said but Hamilton dragged him toward Madison’s room. He opened the door to Jefferson attempting to undo the knot while Madison kicked him in the stomach.

“Help me,” he pleaded when he heard the door close.

Hamilton knelt down next to them. “Hey, James.”

Madison smiled and stopped kicking. His eyes had a glassed over look and couldn’t focus on Hamilton’s face.

“He is so out of it,” Burr commented. “How long is this going to last?”

“He’s supposed to take a dose every three hours,” Jefferson said. “His mom was going to call the doctor if he got worse so we can switch medication.”

“Not sure what you’re getting at,” Hamilton said. “I think he’s acting normal.” He pet Madison on the head. “You’s just a widdle baby.”

Madison grinned.

“Shut up, Alex,” Jefferson said. He managed to get the knot out of the drawstring but by then he realized Madison had forgotten the small spot was even wet from the milk. He let Madison decide and Madison promptly stripped off his sweatpants. He scampered away from his friends and crawled under his bed.

“He doesn’t seem to be in pain,” Burr commented.

“This is hilarious,” Hamilton said. “Can we video this?”

“No,” Jefferson growled. He lay down on his stomach and peered under the bed. “What’cha doing?”

Madison crawled toward him and bopped him on the nose before retreating.

“I’m never having kids,” Jefferson muttered.

“He’s probably fine under there,” Hamilton said.

But a few seconds later they heard a thunk and Madison howled having hit his head.

Jefferson managed to pull him out, although that only made him cry harder as one of his blisters popped.

“How about your bath?” Jefferson suggested as he tried to figure out where he could touch Madison to console him.

Madison screamed.

Mrs. Madison poked her head in the room. “Jemmy?”

“Mom!” Madison ran toward her.

Mrs. Madison wiped the tears off his cheeks. “Thomas, what happened?”

“What hasn’t happened would be shorter,” Jefferson said more irritable than he meant. “Have you called the doctor?”

“You think he’s getting worse?”

“Well, he’s not getting calmer.”

“Thomas,” warned Mrs. Madison, as his tone remained snippy.

Jefferson bowed his head. “Sorry. I don’t know how you do it. It’s been what, an hour? I’m frazzled and exhausted.”

Mrs. Madison managed a smile. “Let him soak in the tub. Use the tub in the guest bathroom—it’s smaller. I’ll see what the doctor says to do.” She kissed Madison’s head and closed the door.

Madison whimpered.

“Hey, hey, Jemmy,” Jefferson distracted him. “Bath time, okay? No tears.” He turned to his other friends. “You guys can watch a movie if you want. I think you’ve seen enough.”

“Hell, no,” Hamilton said.

Burr elbowed him in the stomach. “We’ll stay in here.”

Jefferson guided a whimpering Madison out of the room and down the hall to the guest bathroom. Mrs. Madison had already put the oatmeal in there for him. He read the directions and filled the tub. Madison sat on the floor and sucked his thumb.

“Hop in,” Jefferson said once the tub was filled.

Madison stood and started to put one foot in the water.

“Take your underwear off, dude.” Jefferson rubbed at his eyes. “You’re killing me.”

Madison pulled his boxers off and got in the tub. At once, tears rose in his eyes and spilled down his cheeks.

“What, Jem?” Jefferson asked. He sat on the closed toilet seat and dropped his head in his hands.

“There’s stuff in the water!” Madison sobbed.

“It’s oatmeal. It’ll help the itching.”

“It’s touching me!”

“That’s the point. Deal with it.”

Tears poured down Madison’s puffy, red cheeks. He hiccupped but didn’t scream.

“God, I hope this starts wearing off,” Jefferson muttered. He let Madison soak for the longest half hour of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my favorite chapters!
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	46. Chapter 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hamilton and Burr...

Staying in Madison’s bedroom while Jefferson took care of his boyfriend, Burr and Hamilton found a movie on Netflix. Burr propped up a backrest at the head of the bed while Hamilton stretched out on his stomach. “You think T will break up with James after this?” Burr asked. He reached for Hamilton’s foot thinking he’d flinch away.

“I’m not ticklish,” Hamilton said. “Why?”

“Because they were fucking, like, a day ago, and now T’s giving James a bath.”

Hamilton shrugged. “James is sick. You take care of the people you love when they’re sick.”

“I suppose.”

They fell silent for a few minutes and became reabsorbed in the movie.

Within a few minutes, though, Burr’s mind wandered and his eyes trailed up Hamilton’s body from the foot in his hand to his messy red hair. His interest in Madison was certainly gone now but Hamilton’s offer always remained in the back of his mind. “Do you wanna make out?”

“Huh?” Hamilton glanced back at him with a confused look.

“Make out,” Burr repeated.

“Maybe if we weren’t at our friend’s house.” Hamilton rolled over and sat up. “What’s going on with you? You’ve seemed out of sorts for a while.”

Burr looked away and shrugged. “Lonely, I guess.”

Hamilton moved up beside him. “Let’s wait until James is more himself and we’ll go. If you still want to make out, we’ll get some liquor, okay?”

Burr kept his gaze away. “Why are you even contemplating this?”

“Dude, it’s me. I’m always game with anyone, especially with alcohol. It’s not as if we haven’t kissed before. I was pretty game to fuck you not that long ago.”

“True.”

Back in the bathroom, Jefferson decided it had been long enough. “Time to get out.” He pulled the plug and made Madison stand. He grabbed the first towel in reach and draped it over his boyfriend. A smile cracked his face when he realized the towel was a child’s hooded duck one. He pulled up the hood and lifted Madison out.

“So, I’m sorry, but…” He reached for his phone and snapped a picture.

Madison watched him blankly and slipped his thumb in his mouth.

Jefferson picked him up and headed back to his room.

Hamilton snorted when he saw Madison wrapped up. “Dude—”

“I already took a pic,” Jefferson admitted. “I couldn’t help myself.” He set Madison down and searched for clean clothes.

Hamilton nudged Burr. “Take another.”

Burr was already reaching for his phone. “James.” He snapped the picture when Madison looked up.

“No more,” Jefferson scolded. “I know he’s adorable, but let’s not humiliate him too much.”

“He doesn’t know what’s going on right now,” Hamilton said. “We already have a shit ton of stories to blackmail him with.”

Jefferson shook his head. He handed Madison a pair of boxers and received a blank look. He glanced at Burr who still had his phone out. “Don’t.” He guided Madison into his bathroom to help him dress.

They returned and Jefferson had hope that Madison would fall asleep and wake normal. But Madison had other ideas and ran to his dresser and started pulling drawers open and tossing the contents out.

“James!” Jefferson moved him away. “Here, let’s find you something to do.” He guided Madison toward his bay window and opened the window seat. He pulled out a basket of toy animals Madison had kept from childhood.

Madison plopped down on the floor and dumped the toys out. “Horse!” he shouted holding up a cow.

“You have a dumb child, T,” Hamilton commented.

Jefferson glanced over. He scrambled up at once when he saw Burr holding up his phone. “You, guys, I told you not to!” He grabbed Burr’s phone but Burr managed to lock it. “Come on, Aaron.”

“Who would I even show?” Burr reasoned. “James should know how dumb he really is and know what he put us through.”

“You guys haven’t even helped,” Jefferson complained.

“Moral support,” Hamilton said.

“Yeah, right. Delete the video, Aaron.”

“Fine,” Burr said.

Jefferson handed the phone over.

“Sucker.” Burr pocketed his phone.

Jefferson sighed. “Go to Hell.” He turned around when he felt Madison tug his pant leg. “What?”

“I have to pee,” Madison said.

“Go then.”

Madison squeezed his eyes shut.

“Is he seriously…” Hamilton began.

“James, no!” Jefferson shouted. Did you really—? I am so not having kids. Get up, James. Aaron, grab a towel.”

“The duck one?” Burr asked.

“I don’t give a fuck.”

Burr handed him the duck one and Jefferson wrapped it around Madison. “Grab another and clean the floor.”

“I am not cleaning up your boyfriend’s pee,” Burr said with a disgusted look.

“I’m game for that drink,” Hamilton whispered to him.

Burr nodded. “Do you want us to leave, Thomas?”

“Yes,” Jefferson called from the bathroom. He stripped Madison and put him in the shower. “Just clean the floor, please!”

Burr sighed and retrieved a towel from the bathroom. He tossed it over the small puddle. “Yeah, that’s all I’m doing. Ready, Ham?”

“Yup. We’ll call you tomorrow, T.”

“Fuck you!”

Burr and Hamilton hurried downstairs and headed outside to Hamilton’s beat-up truck. At the liquor store, Hamilton waited outside since he didn’t have his fake ID with him. Burr grabbed vodka and beer.

“Where do you want to go?” Hamilton asked.

“Park somewhere near campus?” Burr suggested. “We can’t bring this in our dorm. Not that I haven’t, but…”

“I know a spot.” Hamilton headed for the college and parked a quarter of a mile away in a secluded area. He turned off the truck.

“I wish it was darker out,” Burr said. It was at least another hour until sunset.

“We still have to get drunk,” Hamilton said.

Burr handed him a beer and popped one open himself.

Hamilton took several gulps. “Wanna talk?”

“No.”

They drank in silence as the sun sank down and only a red glow remained.

Burr finished his third beer and glanced at the quarter-empty bottle of vodka. He didn’t feel drunk until he moved toward Hamilton and everything blurred and moved with him.

“So, we’re doing this,” Hamilton mumbled as Burr pressed his lips into Hamilton’s. He set his drink on the dash and pushed Burr against the seat. The truck only had a front bench seat, somewhat idea since it had no console and they were both short enough to fit with minimal discomfort.

 Burr brushed his lips against Hamilton’s neck. Hamilton shivered and moved his hands down Burr’s chest.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Burr whispered and sucked on Hamilton’s neck.

“I can lead,” Hamilton said. “May I take off your shirt?”

Burr propped himself up enough for Hamilton to do so. He lay back and the friction and unfamiliar texture of the rough seat heightened his senses as Hamilton kissed him.

Within a few minutes, Hamilton popped open the button on Burr’s jeans. Burr’s hand stopped him from going further.

Hamilton leaned down and kissed him. “No?”

“Yes.” Burr shivered with adrenaline. “How?”

“I don’t like oral.”

“Oh…”

Hamilton could feel Burr trembling and his own adrenaline made his heart pound. He slipped his hands back down and unzipped Burr’s jeans.

Burr grabbed him and pulled him close. “You’re still dressed,” he murmured. He reached for the back of Hamilton’s shirt and pulled it over his head.

Hamilton kissed him and dragged his lips down Burr’s throat. He paused to reach for the vodka bottle. Burr took another drink, too.

“Ready?” Hamilton asked.

“Yes.” Burr shivered

Hamilton maneuvered with experience to push his own shoes and jeans off in the small space. He sat near Burr’s knees and tugged down Burr’s clothes.

Burr raised his body up enough to let his clothes move down. A shudder and jolt of pleasure ran through his body as his bare skin brushed the seat of the car. He whimpered, then moaned as Hamilton’s cool hand brushed against his organ.

“Roll over,” Hamilton said and braced himself out of the way in the tight quarters.

Burr’s breath came in gasps as Hamilton lay against him, his hard organ brushing against Burr’s buttocks.

Hamilton reached forward and opened the glove box near Burr’s head. “Do you know how to use a condom?” he asked.

“Um…” Burr couldn’t think how to do anything at that moment. He heard Hamilton open the package and his warmth fell away as he put it on and lubed himself. “Alex?”

Hamilton lay back across Burr. “Hmm?”

“I—I’ve—I’ve.”

“That’s okay.” Hamilton slipped his hands under Burr’s stomach. “Prop up a bit. There’s not a lot of room.” He fondled Burr as he shifted. “Relax.”

Burr trembled and his body peaked with anticipation more than pleasure. He felt Hamilton pressing against him and his hands holding his hips.

Burr gasped at the sudden pressure and his breath turned to short gasps. “Alex.”

“I won’t go deeper,” Hamilton said. “Try to relax. I’ll do whatever you want.”

Burr shuddered and sucked in a deep breath. Hamilton’s hand caressed his thighs.

“Aaron?”

“Okay.”

The pressure grew worse and Burr wasn’t sure if there was any pleasure in it. He moved his hips in hopes of something and felt more pain. “Alex!”

Hamilton eased off. “You want me out?”

“No.”

“You gotta relax.”

Burr closed his eyes as tears rolled down his cheeks. He tried to concentrate on Hamilton’s movements and go with it. The pressure, though, he couldn’t get past it.

“Stop.”

Hamilton pulled out and moved back. His chest heaved and his flushed face matched his red hair. “You, okay?”

Burr reached down and pulled up his clothes. Tears spilled down his cheeks.

“Aaron?” Hamilton scooted his naked body across the seat.

Burr reached for the door handle. A faint breeze blew through the truck as he grabbed his shoes and shirt.

“Aaron, please!”

Burr slammed the truck door closed and ran for campus, his shoes half on his feet.

As he approached his dorm hall, he searched for his keys and realized they had fallen somewhere in Hamilton’s truck. He pressed his back against the wall of the building away from the lights and tried to get his mind to think. No solution came and a sob shook his body.

“Aaron Burr?”

He glanced up in panic.

Angelica walked toward him, keys in hand. “You okay?”

“I-I-I lost my key,” Burr stammered.

Angelica peered at him in the shadows. “But are you okay?”

“I-I-I don’t know.” _Please just let me die._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This sequence of events from the camping trip through the next few chapters are my favorites. I think the importance of each as it flows into the next is my best of the entire series. Let me know what you think!


	47. Chapter 47

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Burr tells his story.

“Let’s go inside.” Angelica unlocked the door and waited for Burr to go first. “We’ll go to my room.” She led the way to the girl’s hall and unlocked her dorm. She was an RA and had a full-size room to herself. She pointed to the futon that replaced the second bed.

Burr sat and buried his face in his hands.

Angelica took in his disheveled state—messy hair, shirt on backward, shoes only half on. “Hon, you don’t look good.” She sat next to him. “What happened?”

“Alex,” Burr said.

Angelica’s eyes widened. “Hamilton? Did he—”

“No, no,” Burr said quickly and took a breath. “Consensual. I just—I don’t—I haven’t—it hurt.” Tears blurred his vision.

Angelica patted his back. “Well, I’m not sure if I want my sister interested in him anymore.”

Burr looked up. “Sorry.” He wiped his nose with the back of his hand.

“Not your fault, hon.” Angelica reached for a nearby tissue box and handed it to him “Is he bi?”

Burr grabbed a tissue and wiped his nose. “Yeah.” He leaned back against the futon and tried to focus himself. The room spun and reminded him of how much he’d drank.

“Yourself?”

“Questioning.”

“I see.” Angelica patted Burr’s leg. “Do you want to talk? You still look freaked out.”

Burr shivered and the tears continued to threaten to spill. “I dunno. I should talk to Alex. I left him hanging.”

“Just send him a text. I think you need a breather first.”

Burr nodded. His phone had managed to stay in his pocket. He typed, _Sorry I freaked. Not your fault._ “Thanks, Angelica.”

“Anytime, hon. You’re okay?”

“Yeah.” Burr got off the futon, stumbled, and left the room.

As the door clicked behind him, tears burned in his eyes and he ran for his dorm. The remembrance that his keys were still missing hit him and anger boiled through his body. Why did everything in his life lead to failure? He smashed his fist into the door and his mind raced with where to run. Where to hide. Where to die. This had to end.

“Aaron!” Angelica hurried down the hall. “I forgot you didn’t have your keys.” A key ring jingled as she neared. “I can let you in.” She stopped dead a few feet from Burr. “Aaron, what’s wrong?” She unlocked the door, her eyes never leaving Burr’s white face.

Burr slipped in his room, Angelica on his heels.

“Sit,” Angelica said. “You look about to faint.

Burr sat on his bed and a shudder wracked his body and noisy sobs slipped out. Tears leaked down his cheeks.

Angelica gave him some space and sat at his desk. “Can you talk to me?” She looked around for a tissue box but didn’t see one.

“No,” he choked.

“I can’t leave you like this.” Angelica moved the chair closer. “You’ve been having a rough year, haven’t you?” Her voice was soft and gentle. “I know you’ve been drinking a lot.”

“I want to die,” said Burr voice low, emotionless.

Angelica remained calm. “How come?”

“I don’t have anyone.” Tears thickened his voice again and shimmered in his eyes. “I’m alone.”

“You have friends.”

“No.”

“Aaron…”

“They all have someone.” Burr turned away as the tears spilled free. “They have families. I’m just me. I want to die.”

Angelica met his eyes and held his teary gaze. “You’re not alone, Aaron. I’m here. Will you talk to me?”

Burr stared at his hands.

“Tell me your story.” She moved to sit on the bed next to him. “Your parents passed away when you were little, didn’t they? Who raised you?”

“My-my uncle.” Burr stammered.

“Tell me about it.” Angelica’s eyes watched him with concern.

Burr looked away and felt the hot wetness in his eyes again. He didn’t know how he could have this many tears. His voice was a whisper as he spoke an almost rehearsed sounding statement. “My sister Sadie was four and I was almost two. Our uncle had just graduated from community college and had a job as a mechanic. He had a one bedroom apartment and barely made enough money to feed himself.”

“You had no other relatives?” Angelica asked. She cupped Burr’s hands in her own.

Burr shook his head. “My grandparents had passed recently at that point as well.” He fell silent certain Angelica had to be bored already.

“Go on,” she prompted.

“It was hell. My uncle resented us. We had a bunkbed in this tiny alcove by the bathroom. That was all the space there was for us. Everything we had was donated by Uncle Timthoy’s church. He wouldn’t accept welfare. We didn’t have much food.”

Burr studied his hands trembling beneath Angelica’s. “When I was six, Uncle Timothy lost his job—the company went under. He was unemployed for two months. Unemployment checks only went so far and he couldn’t risk losing the apartment. He knew we’d never get back on our feet after that.”

Angelica watched him and nodded for him to continue.

Burr squeezed his eyes shut. “Uncle Timothy was able to get another job but by then he’d started using drugs. Sadie’s friends helped her out a lot but no one cared about me.”

“I imagine high school was rough,” Angelica murmured.

Burr shrugged. “Actually, it was okay. I flew under the radar. Plus I was older and able to be out on my own. I did odd jobs for neighbors and made some money.”

“What’d you buy?” Angelica squeezed his hands as some of the trembling subsided.

“I went to Goodwill and got some clothes and shoes,” Burr said. “If I had anything left, I’d get some stuffed animals and give them to the kids at church.”

“That’s very sweet, Aaron.” She paused and tried to keep him talking. “How did you decide you wanted to be a lawyer?”

Burr pulled his hands free from hers and chewed on his nails. “When I was about fourteen, I got picked up by the cops with this other group of kids. They were causing trouble and I didn’t have anything to do with them, just wrong place wrong time. No one listened to me. The cops wouldn’t believe I wasn’t with the other boys. The boys wouldn’t admit I wasn’t in their gang. I was in a holding cell for two days before a lawyer came to talk to me. He listened and got me out of there. Got me before a judge who understood and wiped my record clean. I want to do the same and give a voice to someone who doesn’t have one.”

Angelica touched Burr’s knee. “You’re going to be amazing. Why this college?”

“Close to home,” Burr said. “And when I was brought before the judge, I saw his diploma and he graduated from here. His son goes here, too.”

Angelica watched him. “Really?”

“Thomas.” A faint smile flickered across his face.

Angelica smiled. “Does Thomas know his father helped you?”

“No.” Burr stared back at his hands. “They don’t know about my history. Thomas’ father died that same year. I was one of the last people he helped.”

Angelica squeezed his knee. “May I ask how you afford this school?”

“Trust fund.” Burr looked out the window. A tremor ran through his knee. “My parent’s will put all their money in separate trust funds for Sadie and me to be used only for college. That’s why I stayed close, so I’d get the cheaper local rate and not have to pay much to relocate.”

“I see. Your trust fund will cover the four years?”

“No.” Burr closed his eyes.

“Is this your last year then?” Angelica reached for his trembling hand.

“No.”

“Aaron?”

Burr refused to look at her and tears gathered in his eyes once more. “Sadie didn’t want to go to college. Books weren’t her thing.”

“She transferred her fund—”

“No.” The tears ran down Burr’s cheeks. “Sadie was all I ever had. I didn’t have friends. My teachers never cared about me. I had Sadie and sometimes I didn’t even have her either. She had friends. She stayed with them.” He bit hard on his lip as his words grew rushed, panicked. “She got in trouble with them. She didn’t always think.” He squeezed his eyes closed but tears leaked under. His voice trembled and broke when he spoke. “She died. She’s dead.” He sucked in a shallow breath, then another.

Angelica’s hand tightened against his hand. “Aaron…” Her own eyes shimmered. “I didn’t know.”

“No one knows,” Burr said as his whole body shook. “I can’t say it. It hurts too much. I can’t talk about it.”

“You’re telling me.” She wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “It’s good to talk about these things.”

“No, it doesn’t!” Burr pulled away and banged his head against the back wall. “Now it’s real. I don’t have anyone! Sadie died and I got her fucking trust fund. I’d rather have Sadie!”

“I know, I know,” Angelica soothed and drew him away from the wall. “That’s all I would want, too.”

Burr looked at her with his shiny, red eyes. “It will be a year ago the day after tomorrow.”

Angelica’s body slumped down in the defeat of realization. She clutched Burr’s clammy fingers. “That’s what’s been going on, isn’t it? That date coming up. You’re trying to fill the void. That’s why you left school last year.”

Burr nodded and tasted the salty tears on his lips.

“We’re going to help you, hon, okay? She squeezed his hands. “First things first. Your shirt is on backward and it’s driving me nuts.”

Burr still trembled but she managed to get a faint smile out of him. He slipped his arms out of the sleeves and twisted the shirt the right way.

“Good.” Angelica took his hands again. “Text Alex and tell him that we’re going out for ice cream tomorrow. He needs to know, Aaron. You can tell your friends.”

Burr nodded. He retrieved his phone and noted that Alex had replied to him immediately after he had sent the earlier text, _Just talk to me, okay? Please?_

 Burr stared at his phone unable to think what to say.

“Tell him you talked to me,” Angelica said.

He typed, _I talked to Angelica. She wants to take us out for ice cream. I have to tell you something._ Burr looked at Angelica.

She nodded.

He hit send and sighed.

“Now, you’re going to get some sleep,” she said. “I don’t want you to be alone so you’ll sleep on my futon, okay?”

Burr nodded.

Angelica got up and grabbed his pillow and an extra blanket. Burr found his pajamas on the floor and followed Angelica back to her dorm. He stumbled as he walked as if the vodka wanted to send a reminder of how much he’d drank. He suddenly had to pee really badly, too. He stopped in front of the girl’s bathroom.

Angelica sensed he’d stop and glanced back. “Let me check first,” she said. She poked her head in and held the door open for him. “You might as well change while you’re in there,” she said as he closed the stall door.

She waited for him and they headed the last few feet to her dorm.

Angelica made up the futon and fought back a yawn.

Burr’s eyes felt gritty and heavy. Crying and telling his story had zapped away every ounce of energy.

“Don’t look,” Angelica said as she laid out her pajamas.

Burr closed his eyes and felt himself already start to drift away. “Thanks, Angelica,” he murmured.

“You’re very welcome, hon.” She didn’t add how thankful she was that he had forgotten his key and that she had remembered he’d forgotten his key. “Goodnight, Aaron.”

Burr didn’t respond, already asleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think of Burr's heartbreak?


	48. Chapter 48

The numerous texts and calls didn’t wake either but the pounding on the door jerked Angelica and Burr from slumber.

Sunlight filled the room and made Burr’s head throb. He closed his eyes and pulled the blanket over his head.

Angelica quickly got up and opened the door.

“Answer your phone!” Eliza complained. “What were you doing?”

“Sleeping,” said Angelica. “It was a long night. What did you need?”

“Answer my texts,” she said. “I have questions.”

Angelica sighed. “Fine. We’ll catch up later, okay?”

“Definitely.”

Angelica closed the door. She picked up her phone and responded to her sister’s messages.

Burr found his own phone and cringed at the missed call, voicemail, and text from Hamilton. There were two texts from Jefferson as well.

He listened to the voicemail first.

“Please call me, Aaron,” Hamilton said, his voice distressed. “I’m worried about you.”

The text was similar. Burr responded with, _I didn’t mean to scare you. I was going through some shit. I’ll tell you about it today when we get ice cream._

“What time are we getting ice cream?” he asked Angelica.

She smiled at him. “I’m game for ice cream anytime, but the best place nearby doesn’t open until eleven-thirty.”

Burr nodded and sent a second message. _Meet us outside the hall at 11:30?_

Hamilton soon sent a reply, _I’m glad you’re okay. You weren’t in your room this morning._

Burr thought about explaining more but the thought drained him knowing he’d tell Hamilton everything again in person. He moved to Jefferson’s message.

_Jem’s better now, thank God. I showed him the pic of himself in the duck towel. This was his response._

The second message was a picture of Madison’s pouty, irritated face.

Angelica glanced up from her phone. “How’s James doing?”

“Thomas says he’s fine, why?” Burr kept his eyes on his phone.

“Alex just sent me a picture and I need an explanation.” She got off her bed and joined Burr. She showed him her phone and a picture Hamilton had snuck of Madison playing with his toys in his underwear.

Burr grinned. “Long story. He was on some medication that made him act like a toddler.” He showed her the duck towel picture.

Angelica laughed. “He’s never going to live that down.”

“Nope.”

Angelica watched him scroll through the pictures on his phone. “What was that one?”

Burr swiped back. “The debate convention.” He shrugged at the picture of him and his teammates with their trophy. “That seems so long ago.”

“You guys look proud of each other.”

Burr didn’t respond. He locked his phone and stared at the black screen.

Angelica patted his back. “Why don’t you take a shower? Sometimes that helps.”

“I hate the boy’s bathroom,” Burr said.

“Does it still have the circle shower?”

“Yes.”

“Shit. Ours finally got renovated during the summer. You can shower in there.”

Angelica stood and gathered what she needed. Burr followed her to the bathroom. Once she checked that no one was inside, she ushered him in and into the shower room. She pointed to the far shower stall and took the one next to him. She slid a bottle of body wash under the divider to him.

“Send it back when you’re done,” she said, “and I’ll give you the shampoo.”

“Okay,” Burr said. He turned on the shower and undressed.

Burr finished showering before Angelica but stayed under the warm spray and let it wash away countless tears. Once Angelica turned off the water, he did the same.

Angelica checked again and they hurried back to her room.

Burr put on his clothes from yesterday and caught a faint whiff that reminded him of Hamilton. “Can I ask a stupid question?”

“Not as good as my sister, Peggy, I’m sure,” answered Angelica.

Burr rolled his eyes as he kept his back turned while Angelica dressed. “May I?”

“Go for it.”

He froze and chewed on his gums trying to organize the words to sound grown up and not like an idiot. “When Alex… Is…There was…”

“Dude, I haven’t got all day,” Angelica said. She finished dressing, grabbed Burr’s shoulders, and turned him around. “What?”

“Sex. So much pressure,” he blurted.

Angelica chuckled. “Yeah, that’s normal, especially if you’re tense and it’s your first time. It gets better.”

“It’s just—it sucked,” Burr admitted. “I hear what I’m saying, but…Like, there wasn’t anything. It didn’t feel…”

“Don’t worry about it.” Angelica patted his cheek. “First times suck. Anyone who says otherwise is lying and romanticizing it. Did Alex respect you?”

Burr nodded.

“Good. Because my sister was asking me about sex and I don’t want her sleeping with someone who is a jerk. Although, I am concerned with how much he sleeps around. No offense.”

“None taken.”

“Did he use protection?”

Burr dipped his chin. “Yeah.”

“Oh, God, you’re adorable. Not as cute as James, but who could top that duck towel?”

Burr grinned.

“I’m glad to see you smile, Aaron.”

Burr bowed his head. “I didn’t think anyone would care if I told.”

Angelica wrapped her arms around him as her heart broke for him all over again. To think so low of yourself that you didn’t think anyone would care if you told them your sister died…

By then it was almost eleven-thirty and they soon headed outside.

Hamilton waited and he hurried over to Burr. “What’s been going on, Aaron?”

Burr looked to Angelica.

Angelica stepped toward them and put her arms around their shoulders. “Aaron’s been dealing with some personal things,” she said. “He’s been holding a lot inside.” She let go of them and started walking. “Keep up.”

Burr moved forward and stared at the sidewalk. He could feel Hamilton’s eyes on him. “It’s my sister,” he said at last. He swallowed and struggled to hold back the tears. “The anniversary of her death is tomorrow.”

Hamilton stopped and sucked in his breath. “Aaron…I didn’t know she had passed. Why didn’t you ever say anything? That’s…that’s why you left last year, isn’t it?” He didn’t know what to think. How to process finally knowing what had caused them both such pain. He didn’t know what he had expected.

Burr kept walking and stared at the ground.

Hamilton caught back up.

“It hurts,” Burr mumbled.

Hamilton took his hand. “I know. I’m here for you. You can always talk to me. You know I’m willing to do anything for you.” He stopped himself from saying he wished Burr had told him last year but that was done and now he knew why Burr had pulled away from everything. He’d had a similar reaction when his mom died.

“Except oral,” Burr murmured.

Hamilton squeezed his hand. “Yeah.” They moved to catch up with Angelica.

“Is that what this has been about?” Hamilton asked. “The drinking and feeling alone?”

Burr nodded. He glanced at Angelica, then Hamilton. “I’m beginning to understand that I’m not.”

“You better believe that,” Hamilton said.

Angelica held the door open waiting at the ice cream shop. The boys hurried inside.

They soon chose their ice cream and toppings and sat at a table in the corner.

“Did you like the picture of James?” Hamilton asked Angelica.

Angelica grinned. “I feel bad, but it was hilarious. He’s so tiny. Thomas is what, a foot taller than him?”

“Nearly so,” Hamilton said.

“You’re kind of short, too, Hammy,” Burr reminded him.

Hamilton kicked him under the table. “But in all seriousness, Aaron, have you thought about talking to someone?”

Burr shrugged.

“The campus counselors are really good and free. I’ve talked to one a few times.”

“Alexander Hamilton has seen a therapist?” Angelica said in astonishment. “Wonders never cease, but good for you, Alexander.”

“I try,” Hamilton said. “Aaron? I can set it up for you. You only have to go once if you don’t like it.”

“Okay,” Burr said.

They talked about the upcoming finals as they finished their ice cream. Angelica went her separate way to meet up with her sister. The boys returned to their dorm.

Hamilton pulled out Burr’s keys and handed them over. “I thought you thought I raped you,” he mumbled.

Burr twisted his fingers together. “I got overwhelmed. I was trying so hard to keep everything buried. I shouldn’t have left you hanging like that. I shouldn’t have left you hanging last summer either.”

“I get it, Aaron. As long as we’re okay and you’re okay, that’s all that matters.”

Burr nodded. He unlocked the front door. Hamilton followed him to his dorm.

“Can you tell Thomas and James?” Hamilton asked. “I think we should all be together tomorrow.”

Burr nodded again and felt moisture gather in his eyes. They sat on Burr’s bed and Hamilton called Jefferson.

“What’s up?” Jefferson asked.

“Hey,” Hamilton said putting the call on speaker. “Is James with you?”

“Yeah.”

“Put us on speaker, Aaron’s with me.”

“Okay. What’s going on?”

“I have to tell you guys something,” Burr said. He swallowed back the lump that continued to grow. “My sister—she—” He licked his lips and sighed. “She passed away a year ago tomorrow. I couldn’t tell you guys because I didn’t think you’d care. And last year—it was…” He swallowed. “Bad. That’s why I’ve been out of sorts. I’ve been trying to fill a void.”

“Dang, man,” Jefferson said. “I’m sorry. I wish we’d known.”

“Is James crying?” Hamilton asked.

“What do you think?” Jefferson replied.

“This is worth crying about!” Madison squeaked.

Hamilton slipped an arm around Burr’s shoulder. “You okay?” he whispered.

Burr nodded.

“So,” Hamilton said to the phone, “we’re going to do whatever Aaron wants to do tomorrow.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Jefferson said.

“What do you want to do, Aaron?” Madison asked.

Burr rested his head against Hamilton’s chest. “There’s this place in the mountains. Button Lake? I don’t know how far away it is.”

“It’s not that far,” Jefferson said. “An hour, maybe.”

“I want to go there.”

“Done,” said Hamilton. “T, can you and James get some sandwiches, drinks, and stuff? And drive?”

“Yeah, no problem,” Jefferson said. “Any special requests, Aaron?”

Burr closed his eyes and clutched at Hamilton’s shirt. Tears spilled over the bridge of his nose.

Hamilton stroked his hair. “Give him a minute,” he murmured to Jefferson and Madison.

“Jem’s going again now,” Jefferson said.

Burr managed a faint smile. “I just want us together. I don’t care what we eat.”

“We’ll pick you up bright and early,” Jefferson said.

They said their goodbyes and ended the call.

Burr sucked in a deep breath. “I’m exhausted.”

“I’m game for a nap,” Hamilton said. He shifted and sank down against the bed. Burr remained close and pressed his face into Hamilton’s back.

“I tolerate you, Hammy,” Burr mumbled.

Hamilton smiled. “Yeah, although I love you. But tolerance is good.”

Burr wrapped his arms around Hamilton’s stomach and squeezed him tight.


	49. Chapter 49

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short and sweet.

Jefferson and Madison arrived before eight. Burr and Hamilton got in the backseat where the cooler and several shopping bags of junk food were stashed.

“I see James did the shopping,” Hamilton commented as he tried to make room for his feet. “Little duck.”

Madison scowled. “Can you not?”

“Nope.”

Burr leaned into the front seat. “I would never tease you, James.”

“You took a fucking video,” Jefferson objected.

“What?” Color flooded Madison’s cheeks.

Burr unlocked his phone and handed it to Madison. “You’re free to delete as you wish.”

“Watch it first,” Hamilton insisted. “You’re not as smart as you think.”

The color deepened in Madison’s cheeks. “T?”

“Just delete it,” Jefferson said.

Madison did and the other pictures, too, and deleted them again from the trash.

“Jokes on you because we sent them out already,” Hamilton intoned to himself.

“What’d you say, Alexander?” Jefferson said glancing back.

“It was a good joke,” Hamilton said loudly. “And now we’re all done making fun of James until the next stupid thing he does.”

“Guys,” Madison whined.

Jefferson reached over the console and patted him. “I got your back.”

“You took the first picture!” Madison yelled.

“You were so fucking cute!” Jefferson insisted.

“You were,” Burr agreed.

“Yeah, I know,” said Madison. “I’m always fucking adorable.”

“Damn straight,” Jefferson said.

“I’m gay.”

After some more arguing, Hamilton noticed Burr had fallen silent. “Doing okay?”

Burr shrugged.

Madison glanced around his seat. “Can I ask why Button Lake?”

“You’ll see when we get there.” Burr looked out the window.

Jefferson parked at the trailhead for Button Lake. He and Hamilton packed up food and drinks into two backpacks. Burr stared at the mountains and pine trees around them. He jumped when Madison’s hand slipped into his.

“Sorry,” Madison said.

Burr squeezed his hand.

Jefferson closed the truck doors. “We ready? Jemmy, did you put on sunscreen?”

“Yeah,” Madison said. “And I have my hat.”

“Little duck,” Hamilton mumbled.

Madison’s eyes narrowed at him, but he grinned.

They headed out along the trail. The day was warm and the sun beat down whenever they escaped the cover of the trees. No one spoke as they moved along single file as the trail narrowed. Hamilton walked behind Burr and watched him glance up from time to time before his gaze returned to his feet.

They took a break after an hour when Madison began to complain. Burr took Jefferson’s backpack to allow Madison to ride on his back.

“Button Lake is ahead,” Jefferson announced. He set Madison down and let him and Hamilton walk ahead. He fell into step beside Burr.

“How did you know?” he asked.

Burr looked up at Jefferson. “Your father listened to me. I listened back.”

Jefferson rested his hand on Burr’s shoulder. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“I didn’t know how.”

Jefferson let his hand drop. “Mom didn’t want to tell us kids he was sick. I don’t blame her, although more time to process it might have helped. But he had always told us Button Lake was Heaven. That’s where he’d be, even before he was dying.”

Burr nodded. “Your father told me he had a son near my age. Said he was going to have to tell him the hardest thing a father ever has to say. Said he knew you were strong but he would never be ready to leave you.”

Jefferson looked away, eyes glistening.

Burr swallowed. “Told me he knew this place that it was where he’d go so he’d never have to leave you forever.”

Tears rolled down Jefferson’s cheeks.

“I know that’s where Sadie is, too.” A tremor ran through Burr’s body as tears coated his lips.

Twenty feet ahead, Hamilton and Madison stopped at the edge of the trees.

“That’s amazing,” Hamilton murmured.

Madison could only nod, awestruck.

Burr and Jefferson joined them and led the way down to the crystal clear water surrounded by thousands of flowers.

“What’s wrong, Thomas?” Madison asked grabbing his hand.

“This—” Jefferson gestured to the lake “—is where my dad is. Where Sadie is.”

Burr nodded. “My parents, too. Alex’s as well.”

Hamilton looked at Burr and gave a slow nod as the words sank in. “This is a good place, Aaron.”

Burr smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	50. Chapter 50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Washington learns an unfortunate truth.

Hamilton and Burr waited in Washington’s classroom for the rest of their debate team. They whispered together and made plans to see a movie that weekend.

Hamilton let his hand stray up Burr’s arm and his eyes fixed on his friend’s lips.

“What?” Burr asked. He shivered at Hamilton’s delicate touch and the eyes on him. His heartrate sped up and he licked his lips.

Hamilton glanced at the open door, then at the clock. “We have at least five minutes.”

“Alex…” Burr panted and pulled his friend onto his lap. He had forgotten just how bony Hamilton was until his body was on his own. But, oh, how good it felt! He closed his eyes as Hamilton’s lips touched his and he melted to the sweet surrender of what he’d craved for months—fuck, a year.

Hamilton pushed his tongue in Burr’s mouth and swirled it around. He sucked on his friend’s bottom lip while his hands moved under his shirt and rubbed his nipples.

Burr slipped a hand in between them and cupped Hamilton’s crotch and felt the heat and twitches. “Let’s skip debate.”

“Like I could focus,” Hamilton breathed and nibbled Burr’s ear.

They ran out of the room and passed Jefferson and Madison on the way out of the building.

“Where’re you going?” Jefferson shouted after them.

The door slammed without a response.

Burr fumbled for his keys as they neared the dormitory. Inside, they tore down the hall, threw open the door to Burr’s room and let it slam behind them.

Clothes were tossed willy-nilly and Burr covered Hamilton’s body with kisses as they lay on his bed. “I love you.” He pressed his lips to Hamilton’s stopping a response. “But I don’t have condoms.”

Hamilton tilted his head back to free his lips. “My wallet.”

Burr grinned. He slipped off Hamilton and found his jeans and wallet. He returned and resumed his reacquainting of every inch of Hamilton’s body. They may have tried to fuck in Hamilton’s truck but they both knew that hadn’t meant anything. But now… But this…

“You ready?” Hamilton breathed in his ear.

“Yes.”

Hamilton slender body slipped out from under him and moved on top. Already he knew Burr was a lot more relaxed even though they both still trembled with adrenaline. He fumbled with the condom as his mind crashed through everything that had happened during the past few days. Each piece fitted perfectly. A smile tugged at his lips as he grasped Burr’s hips. “Ready?” he repeated.

Burr sucked in a deep breath. “Yeah.”

He grunted as Hamilton thrust in but his breath soon turned to gasps of pleasure. His fingers clenched around his pillow and he let out a long stream of sputtered words.

“Good?” Hamilton asked as he panted on the verge of coming.

“Yes!”

***

“I’d give him twenty minutes before you call,” Jefferson told Washington as the teacher grumbled about missing half his team.

“What could be more important than debate?” Washington insisted.

Madison smirked and made a gesture with his fingers.

Jefferson snorted.

Washington looked at them. “What?”

“You should be glad, sir,” Jefferson said, “Alexander and Aaron have repaired their relationship.”

“Hmph,” Washington grunted before he caught Madison’s continued grin. “Oh, shit.”

***

Hamilton ignored his ringing phone and kept his hand going between Burr’s legs. “I know it’s Dad,” he said as he brushed his nose against Burr’s cheek. “I’m sure Thomas has already informed him.”

“Stop talking.” Burr closed his eyes and moved his hips forward. “Right there.”

“My hand’s cramping.”

“Shh.” Burr found Hamilton’s mouth. He was soon on top, their legs tangled together and bodies pressed close. He caressed a hand down Hamilton’s bony hips. “Do me a favor.”

“Anything.” Hamilton breathed in Burr’s sweaty scent and stroked his arm.

“Next debate, don’t wear underwear.” Burr kissed him. “I want to take you as soon as you’re off stage.”

“Done.” Hamilton wrapped his arms tight around him. “Are you game for round two?”

Burr pushed himself up and found Hamilton’s dilated gaze in the dim light. “For real?”

“I could fuck you a thousand times tonight, Aaron.” He traced Burr’s lips with a gentle finger. “I want you as close as possible for as long as possible. I’m not letting you go.”

Burr rested his forehead against Hamilton’s. He opened his mouth but couldn’t find the words to express the torrent in his mind. This was what he wanted but at the back of his mind was a ticking bomb that instead this could not last. That Hamilton could not be satisfied.


	51. Chapter 51

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A hurricane and a huge question.

As the rest of the class filed out, Hamilton headed toward Washington’s desk. “Did you see the weather report?”

Washington removed his reading glasses. “I did. It’s only a very small chance the hurricane will come this far north, Alexander. Don’t fret about it, okay?”

Hamilton gripped the straps of his backpack. “Can’t we go away?”

“I can’t leave on such short notice.” Washington cupped Hamilton’s cheek. “If there are any evacuations, we will go. But if you’d feel better further inland, Mom can go with you.”

Hamilton shook his head. “Not without you.”

“I understand.” Washington kissed his head. “We’ll keep an eye on the weather. We’ll stay safe.”

Somewhat reassured, Hamilton headed to his next class. During lunch, he made sure everyone was aware of the storm and soon found that no one else cared.

“Why aren’t you worried?” he asked Jefferson. He pushed his plate away, unable to eat. 

“It’s not going to hit the city,” Jefferson said and picked up a chicken nugget. “We’re too far north and west to begin with.”

“But it could.”

“Then we’ll leave,” Burr assured. He eyed Hamilton’s plate. “Are you going to eat your garlic bread?”

Hamilton handed his plate over. “Hurricane Sandy, Hurricane Irene,” he rushed out. “We could get hit. You guys—”

“Alex, hush,” Burr interrupted. “The prediction of it hitting New York is really low. We’ll get some rain but that will be it.”

“But—” Hamilton tugged at his hair.

“We understand your fears.” Jefferson moved Hamilton’s hand away from his hair. “But we’ll be safe.”

The wind picked up and a light drizzle fell that afternoon strengthening Hamilton’s fears. He paced Washington’s office after class. “Can I go home with you?”

“Mom and I are teaching a foster parenting class,” Washington said. “We won’t be home until late. Stay here with your friends.”

“Daddy—”

“Alexander.” Washington squeezed his shoulder. “The worst of the storm is already moving away. I’ll call you when we get home after the class.” He picked up his briefcase and jacket. “Thomas and Aaron will take care of you, I promise.” He kissed Hamilton’s head and ushered him out to lock the door.

Hamilton returned to his dorm and a tightness seized his chest to find it empty. Sleeping with Burr had heightened his awareness of his relationship with Laurens and the fact that he hadn’t seen or heard from Laurens in three days. His mind kept trying to tell him it was Burr’s leaving all over again but taking his medication and talking to Washington and Burr helped put the fears in their place. But still…

He called Laurens’ cell and left a message to remind him to keep an eye on the weather. He called Burr next and frowned when he heard the ringing outside his door.

Burr grinned when he answered the door and held up a pizza box. “I know you’re anxious so we’re going to have a party.”

“Cool,” Hamilton said and moved to look out the window at the cloudy sky certain it had an odd cast to it.

Burr set the pizza and breadsticks on Hamilton’s desk. “Thomas is bringing pop. He’ll be here in a few minutes.”

Hamilton could only nod as he listened to the wind.

Jefferson soon arrived and he and Burr made quick work of the food. Hamilton managed to eat one piece as he watched out the window. The wind blew dust across campus and made the skinniest trees bend.

Jefferson had his own things to do and tried to leave after eating.

“You have to walk across campus,” Hamilton fretted to him. “You should stay.”

“It’s wind, Alexander.” Jefferson patted his head. “I’m not as scrawny as you, I won’t blow away.”

Hamilton twisted his hands together and returned to the window. He checked his phone for the radar and shoved it at his friends. “That’s a lot of red near us.” 

“Just rain,” Burr assured. “Plus we’re not that close to the coast.”

“Why hasn’t Dad called?” 

“It’s only seven.” Burr pulled Hamilton away from the window. “It’ll be later before he gets home. Do you want to watch a movie?”

“No.” Hamilton checked his phone again. 

Burr and Jefferson shared a defeated glance. 

“You have to stay,” Burr whispered to Jefferson. “At least until Washington calls.”

Jefferson agreed. He and Burr found a movie to watch while Hamilton gave them frequent updates on the weather. Washington called a little after nine to say they were home.

“Do you want me to come get you?”

“I don’t want you driving in this,” Hamilton said. It was too dark to see outside now but he could hear the rain pounding the roof.

“The storm is moving fast,” Washington said. “It’ll be over soon. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Okay.” Hamilton chewed on his lip. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Alexander.”

Jefferson stood and stretched. “May I go?”

“No.” Hamilton moved in front of him.

Jefferson folded Hamilton’s hands in his and kissed them. “I’m leaving. I have homework. Aaron will stay with you.”

“Thomas!” Hamilton latched onto his shirt as he opened the door.

“I understand why Lafayette calls you little lion.” Jefferson pried his fingers loose. “Good night, Alexander.”

Hamilton let him go and resumed checking the weather on his phone.

Burr put up with the updates until ten-thirty and insisted they go to bed. “There haven’t been any warnings that we’re in the path of anything major,” Burr reminded him. “Everything will be fine in the morning.” He got in Hamilton’s bed.

Hamilton fell into an uneasy sleep, woken at the first faint rumble of thunder. “Aaron!”

            “It’s just noise,” Burr muttered and pulled Hamilton close. Lightning lit up the small room and Hamilton whimpered.

Thunder shook the building and Hamilton reached for his phone. “I’m calling Dad. Make sure he’s okay.”

Burr didn’t bother to inform him Washington was fifteen miles even further inland and fine.

Washington answered by the second ring. “We’re all fine here,” he assured. “I can come get you.”

“I don’t want you driving in this,” Hamilton said. “I’ll come to you.”

“No, Alex. You’re too upset. I will come—”

“No! If you die it would be my fault.” Hamilton wiped at the tears that suddenly spilled down his cheeks. 

Burr pried the phone away. “I’ll get Thomas to drive him, sir,” he told Washington. “Would that be okay?”

“Yes, Aaron, thank you.”

Burr hung up and turned on the light. He found Hamilton’s jacket and boots.

Hamilton picked up his stuffed bear and zipped it in his jacket. He called Jefferson. The call rang through and Hamilton tried again.

“What?” Jefferson snapped. 

“You’re driving us to Dad’s,” Hamilton said, ignorant of his tone. “It’s raining really hard.” He cringed as thunder cracked in the distance.

“Don’t argue,” Burr said.

“I’m not going out in the rain,” Jefferson said. “Goodnight.”

“No!” Hamilton exclaimed. “Thomas, what if you died? James would be alone.”

“I’m more likely to die driving to the Estates in this downpour,” he said. “The hurricane isn’t hitting us. The rain will be over in an hour.”

“That’s what Dad said, like, five hours ago. You’re coming with us.”

“Just agree,” muttered Burr half to himself. He rubbed his eyes and yawned.

“Fine,” Jefferson grumbled.

“You’ll thank me later,” Hamilton said.

They were all thoroughly soaked by the time they piled into Jefferson’s truck. 

Jefferson and Burr bemoaned their likelihood of dying as Jefferson drove through the wet streets, windshield wipers flying. Only Hamilton didn’t see it that way and could only focus on getting home and knowing his family was safe.

“We should stop and pick up Lafayette,” he said.

His companions vetoed that at once. 

The rain let up a little as they drove toward the Estates but the wind was worse and buffeted the truck.

Washington watched for them and opened the garage when he saw headlights turn into the driveway.

The soggy boys piled into the house from the connected garage.

“I see you brought the whole gang,” Washington mused as Hamilton buried himself in his arms. “You boys can get settled in any of the rooms upstairs. Be quiet, Martha is asleep.”

Jefferson headed upstairs at once to claim the middle bedroom. 

Hamilton let go of his dad and turned on the TV. The radar showed more rain and wind but assured the hurricane force would miss New York. 

“All good,” Washington said and hid a yawn. He tried to leave the room.

“Where’re you going?” Hamilton asked. He took off his jacket and shoes and sat on the couch prepared to watch the weather channel all night.

“Nowhere.” Washington unfolded a throw blanket and made himself comfortable in his recliner. 

Burr peeled off his damp sweatshirt and joined Hamilton on the couch. He dozed in and out, wakened by the TV or thunder.

Hamilton’s scream woke him and Washington after a booming clap of thunder. Hamilton made himself into a tiny ball on the couch and hid under a blanket. 

“Alex,” Washington said, “do you need your rescue meds? You have some upstairs.”

Hamilton’s head nodded under the blanket.

Washington went upstairs to get Hamilton’s stronger anxiety medication. 

Hamilton took the pill without a fuss and rehid under the blanket. 

Burr picked up the stuffed bear where it had fallen to the floor. He glanced at Washington. “Is...this what he was like last spring after...?”

Washington nodded. “He knows he’s safe now.” He kept his voice low. “He can express his emotions. It’s why he’s more vulnerable. But this is better than him keeping everything inside as he did for many years. He’ll be stronger. He’s getting stronger.”

Burr dozed back off and was awakened by Washington’s alarm on his phone a half hour later.

Washington silenced it and stood, rubbing his eyes. “It’s only five,” he told Burr when he saw him awake. “You can get another hour or so of sleep.” He draped his blanket over Burr and patted the lump of his son.

Potato growled when he entered the master bedroom. 

Mrs. Washington shushed her and sat half up in bed. “Dear?”

Washington moved to her side of the bed and kissed her. “Everything’s fine.”

“How many strays did we pick up?”

“Two.” Washington yawned. “Thomas is upstairs. Alexander and Aaron are downstairs.”

“How did Alexander do?” Mrs. Washington sat up fully and grabbed Potato before she launched herself at Washington.

Washington shook his head. “The rescue meds helped. I think he’s asleep now. If he wants to stay home today that’s fine.” He sighed. “But there’s a good chance he’s not going to function if I’m not close by. I’m a little worried about that. Something is scaring him.”

“I’ll do what I can,” Mrs. Washington said. “He’s been able to open up to me about his mom and the hurricane. Maybe it’s time to ask him what we talked about.”

Washington kissed her again. “I think so.” He showered and got ready for work. Downstairs, he tried to be as quiet as possible in the kitchen as he made coffee and a bagel. But when he turned away from the toaster, Hamilton was in the doorway, blanket around his shoulders.

“I’m sorry you didn’t get any sleep last night,” Hamilton said. His voice was raspy and his eyes had a faint glaze from the medication. He moved to look out the kitchen window but the sun was only starting to rise.

“I don’t mind,” Washington said. “It’s what I’m here for.” He stood behind Hamilton and wrapped his arms around the scrawny youth and tucked him close. “Do you need to stay home today?” He rested his chin on Hamilton’s head.

“I want to be with you.” Unshed tears thickened his voice.

“I know, love. Mom will be here with you.” He could feel Hamilton’s body slump in disappointment. He wished Hamilton were younger that he could be babied the way he needed and deserved. Although he could pick Hamilton up and set him on the counter, the boy wouldn’t believe that everything was fine, that the world was safe and good, that he was safe. He’d seen too much, felt too much. 

Washington let go of him and turned him around. He patted the counter. “Sit.”

Hamilton pulled himself up and watched Washington with mild confusion. 

Washington adjusted the blanket around his shoulders and realized Hamilton had left the dorm in his boxers and t-shirt, his usual pajamas. He rested his hands on Hamilton’s knees. “I want to ask you something.”

Hamilton’s unique eyes watched him, groggy, worried. He was starting to grow into his nose, his cheeks filling out, although his bone structure prevented much of a masculine look. He no longer looked quite so underfed.

“What is it?” Hamilton asked. He moved his heavy head against Washington’s chest.

Washington stroked his back. “Would you like to be adopted?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think!


	52. Chapter 52

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hamilton makes a decision.

Hamilton sat up and met Washington’s eyes. “By you?” His voice quivered.

“Mom and me, yes.” Washington moved his hands to Hamilton’s face. “Think about it.”

“What about Laf?” Hamilton rested his hands over Washington’s. “You had him longer. He deserves to be adopted first.”

“Baby...” Washington kissed his head. “Lafayette never wanted us to adopt him. We tried to adopt him several years ago and he declined. He liked the way things were and it suited him. But you might want something different.”

Hamilton dropped his gaze. “I’ll think about it.”

Washington kissed him again and kept still his disappointment that Hamilton hadn’t screamed ‘yes’ and hugged him. “Take your time.” He lifted Hamilton off the counter. “Why don’t you get some rest? I’ll get carry-outs for dinner tonight; you can let me know what you want.”

Hamilton nodded but didn’t move from Washington’s grasp.

Washington kept him close and hated that he could sense the clock ticking. His bagel and coffee were cold by now. But would anyone notice if he was late? His first class didn’t start until eight but he preferred to be on campus by seven at the latest to read emails and talk to any student who had questions. But that would all keep. 

“I wish I had been able to meet your mom,” Washington murmured. “She did an amazing job with you. I hope Martha and I are a credit to her.”

Tears spilled down Hamilton’s cheeks. He nodded.

Washington pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped Hamilton’s face. “I didn’t mean to upset you. Why don’t we have breakfast?”

Hamilton let Washington step away. “Dad?”

“Yes, Alexander?” Washington fished his now cold bagel out of the toaster and put in another. He glanced over when he heard no response but Hamilton plucked at his lip as if he’d forgotten what he wanted to say.

Washington spread cream cheese on the bagels and poured coffee. He glanced at the time on the microwave: almost seven. He hoped Jefferson and Burr had set alarms and would get themselves up. He almost chuckled to himself. How long had it been since they had this many kids to look after? He missed it but at the same time held a sense of satisfaction for how the boys he and his wife had raised had turned out and how many others stuck around. But he had always enjoyed the chaos of several teen boys in the house.

Hamilton joined him at the kitchen table and they ate in silence. 

The quiet was broken by the clicking of nails and the excited barks of the dogs rushing downstairs for breakfast. The dogs ran through the kitchen and into the family room to the back door. Mrs. Washington hurried behind them.

“You’re still here, George?” She touched his husband’s shoulder as she hastened to let out the pack. “Potomac, leave Aaron alone. Sorry, dear.”

Burr gave a mumbled response.

While the pack was outside, Mrs. Washington filled their food bowls. Some got all dry food, some all wet, and some a mix. When she let them inside, each dog knew where his or her spot was and waited as she put down the food bowls.

As the dogs chowed down, Burr dragged himself into the kitchen, Hamilton’s bear in his arms. He handed the toy over and ruffled Hamilton’s hair.

Hamilton gripped his arm and Burr squeezed him in a half hug.

Jefferson pounded down the stairs and Potato ran at him yapping. Mrs. Washington hastened to grab her. Once safe, Jefferson came into the kitchen. “What’s the plan?” he asked. “Who am I taking back with me?”

Burr looked at Hamilton who mouthed, “stay” and he nodded.

Washington saw the exchange and told Jefferson, “Just yourself. I’ll be right behind you.”

“Yes, sir.” Jefferson found his jacket and shoes.

Washington stood and put his dishes in the sink with an apology to his wife for the mess. “I told Alex I’d bring dinner home.” He kissed Mrs. Washington and grabbed his briefcase. He gave kisses to both boys and followed Jefferson out.

Mrs. Washington cleaned up the kitchen and let the dogs outside again while Burr made himself a bagel and Hamilton drank another cup of coffee. 

Afterward, Hamilton pulled Burr upstairs to his room. 

“You’re quiet,” Burr said. “What’s wrong?”

“Dad asked if I wanted to be adopted.” Hamilton picked at his cuticles.

Burr frowned. “Why didn’t you say yes? At least your posture is telling me you didn’t.”

“I told him I wanted to think about it.” Hamilton sat on his bed, legs tucked beneath him. “Why do I deserve to be adopted?” He massaged his forehead. “You only have an uncle who doesn’t care about you. John’s folks don’t love him. Jefferson only has a mom. Why do I get the Washington’s? I don’t deserve that.” 

Burr rubbed Hamilton’s back. “Yes, you do. Sure, all of us—except James—have shit families but you had the shittiest life, Alex. You deserve stability so much.”

“But what about Laf?” Hamilton met Burr’s gaze. “I don’t want him to hate me or be jealous. He told Dad he didn’t want to be adopted but...”

“I doubt Washington would ask you if he hadn’t already talked to Lafayette,” Burr reasoned. “He would never do anything to estrange one of his boys. Laf’s feelings aren’t going to be hurt.”

“I dunno.” Hamilton hugged himself. “If I was a kid, I’d say yes but I just don’t—I don’t deserve what’s he’s already given me. I can’t make him deal with me forever.”

“Alexander Hamilton.” Burr shifted around to face Hamilton. “What devil has been talking to you? George Washington asked to adopt you—you—no one else and you’re going to say no? You love him more than anyone else, Alex. It’s clear every time you look at him and there is no doubt the feeling is mutual. If you have a valid reason, let me hear it because you not deserving it is shit.”

“I’m twenty,” Hamilton mumbled.

“Still a stupid reason.” Burr touched Hamilton’s cheek. “What scares you?”

Hamilton picked at his blanket. “What if I don’t live up to his expectations? If I’m his actual son, I have to—”

“Nope.” Burr tweaked his nose. “Still stupid. You have to stop sabotaging yourself. Washington wants you to be his son. He knows the disaster he is getting into and he doesn’t care. He loves you. Mrs. Washington loves you. That fat, angry rat dog loves you. Tell them yes, Alex.” He squeezed Hamilton’s hand. “You deserve this more than anyone in the world. Please, understand that.”

Hamilton gave a slow nod. “Maybe.”

Burr groaned and pushed him over against the bed. “I can’t love you if you tell them no.”

Hamilton struggled to get out from under him. “I see, if I don’t have any money, I’m not worth it.”

“Nope.” Burr kissed him. “You’re too high maintenance.” 

 

Mrs. Washington headed upstairs an hour later to check on the boys. She paused to listen and make sure she wasn’t interrupting anything too intimate before she knocked. With no response, she cracked the door open an inch. The boys were sound asleep. She let them be and went about her usual weekday activities: laundry, letting the dogs out every forty-five minutes, online shopping. As noon neared, she returned upstairs to wake the boys so they would be able to sleep that night.

“Alexander, Aaron,” she called from the doorway. “Time to get up, loves. It’s almost noon.”

Hamilton groaned and rubbed his eyes. He sat up, the sheet falling away from his bare chest. “Already?”

“Sorry, dear.” She smiled. “Does grilled cheese sound good for lunch?”

“Yes,” Burr said at once as he stretched.

Hamilton agreed as well.

Mrs. Washington returned downstairs to make the sandwiches and tomato soup.

Hamilton dressed in clean clothes. He didn’t have any pants that would fit Burr but he found him a t-shirt and they headed downstairs.

After lunch, Hamilton and Burr spent the afternoon watching TV while Mrs. Washington worked on her sewing—making doll clothes and quilts—, which she sold online on the Etsy shop Lafayette had helped her create.

Hamilton texted Washington what he wanted for dinner—Olive Garden—and assured him that he was feeling better.

Time seemed to move slower as Washington’s expected arrival drew near. Hamilton paced around the family room. When he heard the garage door open, he waited at the door along with the dogs.

Washington smiled at him as he came in. “Good boy, Alex,” he said. “I picked up some more strays.”

Lafayette and his girlfriend Adrienne followed behind, food bag in hand.

Hamilton greeted them but quickly followed Washington to his office where he put away his briefcase. Hamilton closed the door and leaned on it. 

Washington had his back turned as he searched for his phone lost among his papers.

“Yes,” Hamilton said. 

A smile cracked across Washington’s face, wider than his lips had ever managed before. He turned around and scooped Hamilton his arms, almost swinging him around. “Thank you.”

Hamilton wrapped his arms around Washington’s neck. A smile claimed his face as well. “Why are you thanking me?”

“You’re not the only one who needed saving, my dear boy.” He clasped his hand under Hamilton’s bottom, supporting him better. “I couldn’t ask for a better son.”

Hamilton rested his head close to Washington’s, noting that his dad’s hair was thickly flecked with gray, although he still had no problem picking up twenty-year-old Hamilton. “You can put me down.”

“Nope.” Washington squeezed him. “I’m never setting you down.”

Hamilton smiled. “Okay.”

To prove his point, Washington managed to carry Hamilton back to the kitchen, though he panted after he set Hamilton down and had to take a moment to catch his breath before he could make the announcement. “We’re adopting Alexander,” he said.

Mrs. Washington pulled her son tight in her arms, at a loss for words. 

Hamilton hugged her back, each squeezing tight enough to push the air out of their lungs. “I love you,” Hamilton said as he let go.

Mrs. Washington kissed his cheek. “I love you, too, son.”

Lafayette pushed his way closer and lifted Hamilton up to eye level. “I’m so happy for you, little lion.” He, too, kissed Hamilton’s cheek and set him down to fold into a tight embrace.

Hamilton pressed his face into Lafayette’s chest. “You will always be my brother.”

Lafayette didn’t answer but tightened his hold.

Burr and Adrienne hugged Hamilton, too, and the family sat down for dinner. Everyone chattered happily, telling stories, sharing memories. Afterward, they retired to the family room to watch TV. 

Hamilton snuggled close to Burr, fingers entwined as Lafayette did with Adrienne.

At eight o’clock, Washington got up to serve the chocolate cake his wife had baked. Hamilton and Burr followed him into the kitchen to help. 

Washington couldn’t stop smiling at Hamilton. “We’ll start the paperwork this weekend,” he said. 

Hamilton’s eyes glowed with love and excitement.

“Once it’s all done, we’ll go out to dinner or have a party, whatever you want, and with whomever you want.” Washington sliced the cake but had to stop after one piece to hug Hamilton to him. “It’s stupid how much I love you,” he mumbled. 

“It’s not,” Hamilton whispered. He breathed in Washington’s cologne, a rich mix of cedar and vanilla. He never paid much attention to it before but realized how much he associated it with security. It was the scent of Mount Vernon along with the sweetness of cookies Mrs. Washington liked to bake. It was warm, inviting. It was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nice and happy but you know I can't end the story here!


	53. Chapter 53

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final debate.  
> Jefferson and Madison make an important decision.

There was one final debate before term ended.

“I expect better behavior this time,” Washington said as he drove. “You’re the only team representing your school.”

“Because we’re the best,” Madison said.

Jefferson and Burr pet him on the head in the backseat.

Hamilton stared out the window of the passenger seat. They hadn’t had any competition to qualify for this debate since Team Mulligan dropped out. No one had heard from Laurens in over a week. While he had been known to slip in and out of campus for classes, this time he was MIA. 

Washington pulled into the hotel and got them checked in. He sent the boys up to their room since it was getting late. “It starts at eight in the morning,” he reminded them.

“Yes, sir,” Madison said. He handed Jefferson his suitcase.

The room was as they expected: two queen-size beds.

“Dude wants us all to hook up,” Hamilton muttered. He left his suitcase in the middle of the floor and dropped on the nearest bed.

Burr moved his suitcase out of the way and sat on the edge of the bed to untie his shoes.

Madison pulled the curtains back and stared out at the city lights. Jefferson stood behind him and wrapped his arms around him.

“Think we can win?” Hamilton asked. “We only came in third the last time.”

“I like our odds,” Jefferson said. “I’m not worried.”

“This is the best of the best.”

“So are we.”

Burr patted Hamilton’s stomach. “Nervous?”

“I just wish this debate wasn’t right before finals, you know? Got enough to study.”

“I’ve never seen you study,” Burr said.

“True.”

They settled in for the night and watched TV for an hour. Madison set multiple alarms and turned off the lights.

Burr stared into the dark and listened to the whispers of Madison and Jefferson. Hamilton sprawled out and kicked him. To keep him still, Burr spooned him and kissed the back of his neck. “Remember what I asked you?” he whispered.

“I’ll do it,” Hamilton mumbled drowsily.

Cello music woke them too soon the next morning and Madison shut off the alarm. He headed into the bathroom.

Burr listened to the shower for a half hour. Once the water stopped, he got up and joined Madison in the bathroom.

Madison cleared the condensation off the mirror. “How’d you sleep?”

“Eh,” Burr said. He sat on the edge of the tub. “I don’t want to shower.”

“It might wake you up.” Madison used a towel to squeeze the water out of his long hair. He ran a comb through and applied leave-in conditioner.

“How do you have the energy for so much self-care?” Burr asked.

“It relaxes me,” Madison said. “It’s something I can control. Well, to an extent. Sometimes my face breaks out and my hair frizzes and I give up. But I know what I have to do each morning when I get up. I don’t have to stress about it.”

“I’d get bored doing it every day.”

“I’m laxer on the weekends and I don’t always do this much for normal school days.”

The bathroom door opened. “Are you going to shower or not, Burr?” Jefferson asked.

Burr looked at Madison. “Yeah, sorry.”

Jefferson closed the door.

Burr turned on the shower and undressed.

“Use the stuff I left in there,” Madison said. “It smells nice.”

“Thanks.”

Madison had finished his hair and moved onto his face when Burr finished showering.

Jefferson poked his head back in. “Mine?”

“All yours,” Burr said. He left the bathroom to dress.

“You’ll like this,” Hamilton said and crawled across the bed to show Burr his phone.

Burr grinned at the meme.

In the bathroom, Jefferson plucked the towel from Madison’s waist and watched it fall. “We should request two bathrooms next time.”

Madison let the towel lay at his feet as he rubbed lotion on his face. “I don’t think that’s possible.”

Jefferson ran a hand against Madison’s side.

“Don’t make me sweaty,” Madison complained.

Jefferson smiled and let him be.

“Did you pack your suit properly this time,” Burr asked Hamilton.

“Possibly,” Hamilton said. “What is considered proper?”

“Not wadded in a ball would be a start.”

Hamilton unzipped his suitcase to reveal his clothes neatly folded.

“Dear, God, it’s a miracle,” Burr teased.

“Dad packed it for me,” Hamilton admitted. He set his suit on the bed and picked up Burr’s suit jacket. He held it up for Burr to slip in his arms.

Jefferson came out of the bathroom. “Jem says you have ten minutes, Ham.”

“Only need five,” Hamilton replied. He winked at Burr.

They left the hotel room a quarter to eight and met Washington in the lobby. He nodded in satisfaction and showed them to their table.

Hamilton fidgeted and adjusted his pants several times, as they waited for breakfast.

“Sit still,” scolded Washington. “You’re being improper.”

Hamilton met Burr’s eyes and smiled.

“No, none of that,” Washington insisted and broke their lovesick gaze. “Focus, both of you.”

The first round of speeches went well with Hamilton and Jefferson at their peak and their researchers attentive.

At noon, Hamilton laced his fingers through Burr’s. “Well?”

Burr nodded.

They slipped out of the convention hall and ran to the elevator. Once the door closed, Hamilton pushed Burr against the wall and they made out until they reached the right floor.

In the hotel room, Burr unbuckled Hamilton’s belt, undid his pants and watched the fabric pool at his feet, his body ready to go.

“You’re such a whore.” Burr kissed Hamilton’s neck while his hands explored lower.

Hamilton tilted his head back. “No name calling. You want on top?”

“No.” Burr pushed him on the bed. “But you’ll have to work fast. We have, like, five minutes.”

Hamilton pulled at Burr’s belt. “Roll over then.”

The headboard thumped against the wall as Hamilton used most of his five minutes. Halfway through, the picture on the wall above the bed crashed to the floor but neither lost momentum.

Burr rolled to his back, heaving. “Shit, how am I supposed to walk after that?”

Hamilton grinned. “With pride.”

They cleaned up and hurried back downstairs.

Washington checked his watch as he saw them come in. “A minute to spare.” He shook his head. “You need to focus, Alexander.”

“I’m way focused, Daddy.” Hamilton gave a wide grin.

Washington ran a hand through his thinning hair.

Team Jemmy plowed through the afternoon debates and had a clear edge for the following and final day.

By noon that next day, the win was in the boy’s sights. Hamilton and Burr celebrated early to Washington’s annoyance who, again, demanded they focus.

“Did you have sex?” Madison whispered to Burr as they waited for Jefferson to give his final speech.

“Yeah,” Burr said and couldn’t fight the smile attacking his face.

Madison let out a long, low groan. “You’re so lucky.”

“You and Thomas haven’t?”

“No.” Madison glanced at his boyfriend sitting next to Hamilton, eyes on the current speaker.

“Have you asked him?” Burr said.

Madison shook his head. “We haven’t really had time.”

Burr squeezed Madison’s knee. “It doesn’t take that long. Ask him.”

The announcer called Jefferson’s name.

Jefferson stood and met Madison’s gaze. He held his fingers up in a heart.

Madison mouthed ‘I love you.’

“Trust me, you’re both ready,” Burr whispered in his ear.

***

“We won, we won, we won!” Hamilton chanted as Team Jemmy got on stage to accept their trophy.

Washington beamed up at them and snapped pictures to show his wife. It had been an ordeal to get the boys—well mostly Hamilton and Jefferson—to work together but now, many months later, he could barely recall the struggle and could only see the friendship that had grown between all of them. He wiped his eyes as Hamilton called down to him to join them.

“You got your win, Dad,” he said.

Washington stood between him and Madison, an arm around each. “Because of my boys. I couldn’t be prouder of each of you.” He kissed Hamilton’s cheek and squeezed Madison tighter. He met Jefferson’s steady, calming gaze and nodded to him.

Jefferson tried to rein back a smile but a boyish grin escaped and he grabbed Washington’s hand where it rested against Madison.

Not about to ignore his most wayward boy, Washington let go of Hamilton and pulled Burr close and whispered. “I’m proud of you, Aaron. You’re doing amazing.”

Burr ducked his head, a flush touching his cheeks and his lips turning up in a crooked smile.

Cameras continued to flash but it was that scene that ended up on the school website. The boys and their mentor, grinning, happy, supportive.

***

“I’m exhausted,” Jefferson said as they finally got away from the convention hall. “The pictures were more draining than the entire debate.”

“I thought it was exhilarating!” Hamilton said and punched the air. “I’m so psyched!”

“Hyper,” Burr said. “I think the word you want is ‘hyper’.”

Hamilton bounced around the hallway. “Nah. Daddy, are we going to celebrate? What’re we doing to do?”

“Whatever you want,” Washington said, still beaming.

While Hamilton sprouted off a million ideas, Madison slipped his hand into Jefferson’s. “Think we can get some alone time?” he whispered.

“Not likely,” Jefferson said as Hamilton bumped into him while evading Washington’s attempt to stop him running.

“Can we get our own room then?” Madison looked up with his perfect blue eyes.

Jefferson sucked in his bottom lip as he looked away. The win had given him a high he hadn’t felt in a while. Maybe… “Okay.”

Madison smiled and shivered.

Jefferson squeezed his hand and let go. “Give some excuse to the others and get our stuff. I’ll get a room.”

Madison skipped ahead down the hall to the elevator where the rest waited.

“Where’s Thomas going?” Washington asked.

“To check the restaurant,” Madison lied. “Is it okay if we have some time to ourselves?” He picked at his thumbnail and willed his cheeks not to blush. He could sense Burr’s eyes on him and heat crept up his neck.

“That’s fine,” Washington said. “Alexander, Aaron, decide what you want to do.”

“I want to swim,” Hamilton said. He pressed multiple buttons in the elevator.

“You definitely need to get some energy out,” Washington said. “Aaron?”

“I’m good with that.” Burr touched Madison’s sleeve and whispered in his ear, “Check Alex’s suitcase. You can take what you need.”

Madison bit down on his lip as heat engulfed his face.

In the hotel room, Burr hasted Hamilton through getting ready and within minutes, dragged him and Washington out of the room.

Madison stared at his and Jefferson’s suitcases and wondered how his boyfriend expected him to lug everything to a different room. Instead, he unzipped Hamilton’s luggage and rifled through his clothes. He found lube and condoms while his heart pounded and his legs trembled. He jumped when his phone rang.

“I got our room,” Jefferson said as soon as Madison answered. “One floor down. Meet me there? Room 51.”

“Okay,” Madison whispered. He threw the things in his suitcase and dragged it out. Jefferson would have to deal without his stuff.

One floor down, Madison paused in front of the door. He took a deep breath and pushed it open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will they or won't they?


	54. Chapter 54

The hotel clerk had looked bemused when Jefferson asked if he could get a room for one night. Jefferson had purposely made sure Madison wasn’t with him since the implication would be too obvious then. He willed his hand not to shake as he handed over his credit card. His signature on the receipt ended up much sloppier than usual.

“Have a nice night.”

Jefferson mumbled a thanks, grabbed the key, and hurried away.

The hotel room had a single king-size bed. Jefferson sat on the edge of it as he fumbled for his phone. His chilled fingers paused before he punched in his password and he closed his eyes.

Was he ready? Possibly. Did he want to? Sort of. Would it make Madison happy? Definitely.

He typed in the password and dialed Madison’s cell.

After Madison said ‘okay,’ Jefferson headed into the bathroom and stared at his dilated pupils and willed his body to stop shivering. He heard the door open and took a deep breath.

Madison’s smile was more uncertain now as he let go of his suitcase and mumbled about leaving Jefferson’s behind.

“It’s fine,” Jefferson said. He stayed in the doorway of the bathroom and fiddled with his tie. He jumped when Madison touched his hand.

“I’m scared, too,” he whispered.

Jefferson could only nod and kiss Madison’s fingers.

They moved toward the bed and set aside their shoes and blazers.

Madison bounced a little on the bed. “Kind of…” He stopped himself from finishing but Jefferson knew what he’d been about to say and smirked. He touched Madison’s chin, his fingers cold but no longer shaking. “I love you.”

Wide blue eyes met his. “I love you, too.” He met Jefferson’s lips and closed his eyes.

They kissed, undoing ties and lowering themselves on the bed. Madison unbuttoned Jefferson’s shirt and Jefferson flinched at his chilled fingers.

“Sorry.”

Jefferson cupped his boyfriend’s hands between his own. “I’ll warm them.” He moved them against his crotch.

A shiver ran through Madison as he rubbed at the bulge.

Jefferson lay back and let his boyfriend undo the button and zipper. He tensed at the intimate touch through his underwear and his breathing accelerated.

“Good?” Madison asked meeting Jefferson’s eyes.

“Yeah.” Jefferson took a deep breath. “Turn off the light.”

Madison obliged. “What do you want me to do?” he whispered.

Jefferson removed the hair tie he always wore around his wrist and pulled Madison’s hair back in a ponytail. He kissed his partner’s neck and undid the buttons on his shirt. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes.” Madison stroked his stomach.

Jefferson kissed at his chest while struggling to get the cuffs off Madison’s wrists. “What am I stuck on?”

“Probably the cufflinks,” Madison said with a giggle. They stopped touching each other and figured it out. Madison lay back against the bed and moved Jefferson’s hand between his legs. “You can have it all, T.”

Jefferson stripped off his pants but hesitated to take his underwear and returned to kiss his neck and chest.

“Do we know what we’re doing?” Madison asked. He dug his nails into Jefferson’s back and suppressed a moan at whatever his boyfriend’s tongue was doing to his nipples.

“No.” Jefferson returned his mouth to his boyfriend’s body.

“I have condoms.”

Jefferson paused.

“I didn’t mean…” Madison gnawed on his lip. “I thought…”

Jefferson brushed his nose against Madison’s cheek. “I didn’t mean to scare you,” he reassured. “I—I wasn’t sure if we need them?” He sat up and pulled Madison close to keep warm. “Since we’re virgins and, like, um, not sleeping around.” He trembled again.

“Oh.” Madison shivered as well and snuggled closer. He stroked Jefferson’s chest. “Are we not ready?”

“I don’t know.”

***

Tuckered out after swimming, Hamilton dropped onto the bed with Burr. “Think they’re going to go through with it?”

“James and Thomas?” Burr questioned.

“Uh huh.”

“Yeah.”

“Really?” Hamilton sat up. “They’re not exactly spontaneous. I would have thought them too…” He trailed off.

“What?” Burr asked. He tugged at Hamilton’s shirt collar and kissed his neck.

“Well, I was going to say ‘anal’.” He squirmed and moaned. “But that didn’t sound right for the situation so I was going to go with ‘straight-laced.’ See my conundrum?”

Burr giggled. “Yeah.” He pushed the back of Hamilton’s shirt up and rubbed at his warm skin. “I think they will. They’ve been dating for a year.”

“Different strokes for…” Hamilton shook his head. “Is every saying sexual?”

“Mmmhmm.” Burr nipped his ear. “Stop ignoring me and get naked.”

***

Madison stretched out on the bed. His eyes flew open and he sat up when he didn’t meet resistance. “Thomas?”

Jefferson poked his head out of the bathroom. “Everything okay?”

He dropped back against his pillow. “Yeah. Didn’t know where you were.”

“I’ll always be here.” Jefferson joined him on the bed. “It’s already seven-thirty. We should head back to the other hotel room.”

Madison nodded.

“You’re not disappointed, are you?” Jefferson stroked his cheek.

“No.” Madison caught one of his fingers. “We weren’t ready. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Jefferson squeezed his close. “Was what we did okay? Like was it enough for you?” He chewed his lip and watched Madison’s face.

“It was perfect, T.” Madison ran a finger along his boyfriend’s face and down his nose and lips.

Jefferson gave a soft smile.

They dressed and headed up one floor and let themselves in the shared hotel room.

“Was just about to text you,” Hamilton said. He turned off the TV. “Have fun?”

The couple looked at each other, faces mirroring the gentle expression of love.

“Yeah,” Madison said eyes still on Jefferson. “We’re well suited for each other.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think of Madison and Jefferson's decision?


	55. Chapter 55

Finals week started after the boys returned from their victory. Following a tiring first day Burr, Hamilton, and Jefferson lingered in the cafeteria after finishing dinner.

“What’re your plans for the summer?” Burr asked them.

“Internship upstate,” Hamilton said.

“All summer?” Burr questioned.

“Eight weeks.” Hamilton sipped his coke. “I start mid-June.”

Burr frowned at his empty plate. “T?”

“I have an internship, too,” Jefferson said. “My uncle in Virginia got me in a prestigious law firm for six weeks. You, Aaron?”

“Guess I’m stuck here by myself,” Burr mumbled.

“Don’t you have an internship?” Jefferson asked.

“Yeah, but it’s local and not until the end of July.” He picked up his fork and squeaked it across his plate.

“You can get a job,” Hamilton suggested. He plucked the fork out of Burr’s hand. “You’re staying with Dad, aren’t you?”

“I dunno.” Burr took a drink and crunched on an ice cube. “I need to find my own place.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Hamilton said. “I’ll have most weekends off and come back often to visit. It’ll go by fast.”

“For you.” Burr pushed his chair back. He picked up his plate and cup and headed toward the dish bins.

Jefferson and Hamilton looked at each other.

“What’re we supposed to do?” Hamilton asked in a low voice. “We can’t abandon our plans but I know he’s still having a rough time. He’s going to make himself miserable.”

“Talk to your dad,” Jefferson suggested. “If you can at least get Aaron to stay at your house, we’ll know someone will look after him.”

They left the cafeteria and parted ways. Hamilton headed across campus to Washington’s office since he knew his soon-to-be-dad had been trying to catch up on paperwork. He knocked on the door marked _G. Washington._

“Enter,” Washington said.

Hamilton slipped in. “Dad?”

“Alexander, what did you do this time?” Washington pointed to the chair in front of his desk. He minimized the eBay auction he was watching.

“Nothing, sir. It’s Aaron.”

“Ah, my second guess.” Washington folded his hands on his desktop. “Go on, son.”

“His internship doesn’t start until the end of July,” Hamilton explained. “Thomas and I will be gone. I don’t want him to feel abandoned. He got pretty upset just now when we told him our plans.”

“I see,” Washington said. “I’ve talked to him about staying with Mom and me but couldn’t get a definite answer. I can certainly keep him busy if he’ll stay with us but he doesn’t seem keen on the idea.”

“He doesn’t like charity,” Hamilton said. “Do you think Senator Schuyler would take him on, too? We could be together then.”

Washington rubbed his chin. “That’s a lot to ask of Senator Schuyler. It took a lot of convincing to get him to take you.”

Hamilton rolled his eyes. “No, it didn’t. He picked me because of my essay.”

“Yes, but unfortunately, Aaron doesn’t have your gift for words. He might not be qualified.”

“Can you ask?” Hamilton made his face sad and pleading.

“I suppose.” Washington stood to retrieve his phone from across the room where he plugged it in. “I have done him many favors without reciprocation.”

Hamilton leaned across Washington’s desk and turned the computer screen his way. He pulled up the eBay window. “Can I bid for you?”

“Don’t touch that, Alexander,” Washington scrolled through his contacts.

“Did you find that glass chess set you wanted?”

Washington raised an eyebrow at him.

“I know your password,” Hamilton said. “I’ve seen your watch list. I’ve purposely bid against you a few times.”

Washington shook his head as he hit call. After a few seconds, he said, “Senator Schuyler, I hope I’m not intruding on your evening.”

Hamilton sat back in his chair, ears tuned to the conversation.

“Yes, I need a favor. I have a sophomore in need of something to do this summer. I know you’re already taking one of my boy’s in and I hoped I could entice you with another.”

A pause.

“Aaron Burr.”

Another longer pause.

“Yes, thank you,” Washington said goodbye and hung up. “Alexander, touch that keyboard and I’ll kill you.”

Hamilton turned away from the computer. “So?”

“Senator Schuyler thinks he can find some work for Aaron. I guess Angelica has already talked to her father about him.”

“Good.” Hamilton looked back at the computer. “Can I use your Prime account? I need some stuff.”

Washington sighed. “Whose credit card do you plan on using?”

“Yours?”

Washington returned to his desk and opened a new window. “What do you need, Alexander?”

“I already put it in your cart.” Hamilton smiled.

“You’ll be the death of me.”

“I know.”

Washington placed the order. “Anything else, Alex?”

“Well…”

Washington pulled out his wallet and handed Alexander a few twenty’s. “Thank God you’re going away for the summer.”

“Thank you, Dad.” Hamilton grinned. “I have all your classes next semester.”

Washington rubbed his forehead. “I’m aware. Good luck on your finals, son.”

“Thanks.” Hamilton headed for the door but paused. “Dad? Have you heard from John at all?”

“No, Alexander, I’m sorry.”

***

Burr looked up from his phone at the knock on his dorm door. He slipped off his bed and opened the door. “Angelica?”

Angelica smiled. “Thought you might need some candy to get you through finals,” she said. She let herself in and set the shopping bag on his desk. “I wasn’t sure what you liked so I got a variety.”

“You didn’t have to—”

“A ‘thank you’ would be nice.”

Burr stared at his feet. “Thank you.”

“So, what’s your summer plans?” Angelica asked.

“Eh, nothing worthwhile.” Burr twisted his fingers together.

“My father decided he’ll need another intern when we go upstate. Would you be interested?”

Burr looked up. “With Alex?”

“Yup.”

“Huh.”

Angelica leaned toward him. “So?”

“What would I be doing?” Burr chewed on his lip. “Better yet, why would he want me? Alexander won the internship because of his essay. I got a C on that paper. I’m not gifted enough to work for your father.”

“Well, you’d be working under Alexander,” Angelica explained. “It probably won’t be super exciting but you can learn some skills that pertain to your degree. You’d both stay at our house upstate.”

Burr sat in his desk chair and hooked an arm against the back. “I dunno. I’d rather not do anything.”

Angelica rubbed his short, dense curls. “Still hating life, hon?”

Burr nodded.

“Then it’ll be better to keep yourself busy. I’ll be upstate, too, and you’ll have Alexander. It’ll be fun, Aaron. You deserve this chance.”

Burr sucked his bottom lip in as he thought. “Okay. I accept.”


	56. Chapter 56

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Trigger warning for assault*
> 
> To quote Madison in this chapter, "Nononononono!"

Hamilton and Burr waited for Madison at his usual drop-off spot. Jefferson had to go to class early to get set up for a presentation and Madison said he’d be fine if their other friends walked to class with him.

Mrs. Madison waved to them as Madison shut the car door. 

“Good morning, James,” Hamilton said. He held out his hand to take Madison’s backpack since he knew Jefferson always carried it.

“I can manage,” Madison assured. He took Hamilton’s hand.

Burr trailed behind as they headed to the main building for their last final.

As they neared the bathroom, Madison stopped. “I have to pee really bad.”

“We’ll wait,” Hamilton said.

Madison waved his hand toward their classroom door fifteen feet down the hall. “I can manage, Alexander.”

“If you’re sure,” Hamilton said. He and Burr continued down the hall and took their usual seats on the right side near the front. They chatted to each other across the aisle until the classroom door closed and they realized almost ten minutes had past and Madison had never arrived. They stood at the same time.

“Take your seats,” the teacher told them as she made her way to the front.

“James isn’t here,” Burr said while Hamilton ran out of the classroom.

Burr caught up with him at the bathroom and they went in apprehensively.

“James?” Hamilton said.

***

Madison was convinced Hamilton was even more overprotective of him than Jefferson was. He headed into the first stall since using the urinals made him too anxious to pee. He set his backpack on the floor and unzipped his jeans.

Mid-stream he heard his backpack move behind him. He froze, breath stopped as he saw a hand yank at his backpack.

_Nononononono!_

Madison pulled his phone out of his back pocket and climbed on top of the toilet. His shaking hands struggled to tap buttons and the phone slipped and fell into the toilet with a splash.

At that moment, shoes became visible under the stall door and the door rattled aggressively. 

Madison’s heart thundered in his chest and his eyes darted about for an exit. Could he get over the side of the stall?

The door swung open and clattered into the stall wall. Jonathan Adams grabbed Madison from atop the toilet. “Scream and I will kill you.”

Madison trembled, tears flooding down his face. He couldn’t have screamed if he wanted to.

Adams plump fingers dug into his arm and dragged him out of the bathroom. “Make a scene, I dare you,” he hissed in Madison’s ear as they walked through the crowded hallway.

If it was anyone else, the tears probably would have gotten someone’s attention even without Madison screaming or fighting, but everyone that traversed that hallway at that time was used to seeing him upset about one thing or another and no one knew his tortured past with Adams to raise an alarm.

Adams got Madison out of the building.

***

Burr picked up Madison’s backpack while Hamilton cussed and pleaded with no one in particular to find their friend. He fished Madison’s phone out of the toilet and dried it off.

“Maybe he called Thomas and went with him?” Burr suggested while a knot tightened in his stomach.

“And leave his things?” Hamilton tugged at his hair. “Shit!”

“Call Thomas?”

Hamilton shook his head. “He really needs to do well on his presentation. I’ll call Dad.” He pulled out his phone and dialed Washington’s number. Since he was teaching, Hamilton wasn’t sure if he’d picked up and he motioned for Burr to follow him to Washington’s classroom.

Since he got no answer, Hamilton pushed the classroom door open and received his foster father’s glare from the front of the room. 

“Alexander—”

“Dad, we can’t find, James,” Hamilton said and bit down on his quivering lip.

Washington closed his eyes briefly and cussed under his breath. He picked up a stack of papers off his desk and gave them to the nearest student. “Pass these out. Take the test, put it on my desk, and you can go,” he instructed. “No cheating.” He grabbed his phone and followed his boys out.

“Have you told Thomas?” he asked.

“No,” Hamilton whispered. “It’s Adams, isn’t it?”

Washington didn’t answer and called the police. He led them across campus toward the administrative building and into the security room. He was quick to make his demands to see the recent footage from the hallway outside Madison’s classroom.

The security guard didn’t question him and found the desired feed. The group watched in horror to see Adams pulling Madison out of the bathroom and through the crowd of students.

“Can you follow them?” Washington asked as he pointed to the petite Madison dragged along by the short but overweight Adams.

The security guard picked them up on two other cameras as they exited the building but lost them outside. “I can keep looking,” he said, “but it’ll take some time.”

Washington tightened his jaw. “I’ve called the police. Keep searching.” He turned to the boys. “Stay here. I’ll go get Thomas.”

Tightness made his chest ache as he hurried back to the main campus building. He pressed a hand against his heart as his left arm tingled. He took the stairs two at a time and knocked, panting, on the classroom door of Jefferson’s speech class.

A minute later, the instructor opened it.

“Has Thomas presented?” Washington asked, wincing at the pain flaring through his body.

“Yes,” he said with a wrinkled brow, “What...”

“He needs to come with me.

The man nodded and called to Jefferson.

Jefferson gathered his books and met Washington in the hall. His breathing escalated at the grave look on his mentor’s face. He opened his mouth to ask what happened but no words made it out.

“We can’t find Jemmy,” Washington murmured. “Adams—”

“NO!” Jefferson dropped his books to the floor with an echoing thump. 

“Easy,” Washington grabbed Jefferson’s arm. “The police are probably already here. We’ll find him.”

Jefferson’s legs gave out and he hit the floor hard on his knees.

“Thomas, come on.” Washington tried to hoist him up but the strain made the discomfort in his chest worse and he grunted while wishing this boy was as small as his Alexander and he could scoop him up.

Jefferson struggled to catch his breath as he hyperventilated but it was Washington’s pain that forced him to gain control. “Sir?”

“I’m fine.” Washington’s voice remained labored. “Come with me.” He staggered as he led Jefferson to the security room. 

A police officer talked to Hamilton and Burr.

Jefferson rushed in. “Has he been found?”

“Not yet,” the cop said. “We have the perimeter blocked and officers sweeping the campus.”

Jefferson sank onto a plastic chair and buried his face in his hands.

Washington sat next to him with a groan, one hand pressed back against his chest while he rubbed at his neck.

“Dad?” Hamilton moved toward him. “Are you okay?”

“You look like you’re having a heart attack,” the officer said. “I’ll call you an ambulance.”

Washington shook his head. “I’ll be fine.”

Hamilton clutched Washington’s hand. “No, you need to go to the hospital.” He touched his forehead. “You’re cold. Where does it hurt?”

Washington shook his head again.

“Call that ambulance,” Hamilton told the officer. “Has anyone talked to Mr. Madison?”

No one had and Hamilton took charge and contacted Madison’s father while he made sure Washington’s breathed normally and stayed still. He called Mrs. Washington next and texted Lafayette.

Lafayette arrived as the ambulance did. “The whole school is freaking out,” he told Hamilton. “Someone said James di—” He stopped himself when he noticed Jefferson listening. “Is Dad having a heart attack?”

Hamilton nodded as he hugged himself. They got out of the way, as the EMTs brought in a stretcher. 

“I’ll go with Dad and meet Mom at the hospital,” Lafayette said and rested a hand on Hamilton’s shoulder. “Or do you want to come with, too?”

Hamilton looked between him, Washington, and Jefferson. Tears welled in his eyes.

“No, little lion.” Lafayette pulled him close. “Everything is going to be okay.” He pressed Hamilton’s head against his chest.

Washington heard his cries and made the EMTs stop moving him. “Alexander, I’m going to be okay. Come here.”

Hamilton pulled from Lafayette and grabbed Washington’s hand. He pressed it against his damp cheeks.

Lafayette nodded to the EMTs to continue and they pushed Washington outside, Hamilton following.

***

“What do you want with me?” Madison pleaded. His fingers were numb from Adam’s grip on his wrist.

Adams shoved him against a chain-link fence. “What you deserve.” He pulled a small piece of rope out of his pocket and used it to tie Madison’s long hair to the fence. His captive’s jeans were still unbuttoned and he tugged them down or tried to but they were rather tight.

As he struggled and Madison remained frozen with fear, someone shot toward them and walloped Adams’ in the head with his backpack.

Adams stumbled back and received a sharp kick to the crotch and another to the back of his knees. He tumbled to the ground and a shoe pressed into his neck.

“You don’t hurt my family,” Laurens growled and dug the heel of his shoe deeper into Adam’s fleshy neck.

Adams clawed at the foot as his face turned red then purple.

“John!” Madison squeaked. “Don’t kill him.”

Laurens drew back his foot and kicked it hard into Adam’s throat.

Adams wailed, vomited, and passed out.

Laurens stepped away, chest-heaving, face red. He untied Madison’s hair from the fence. “Are you okay, James?”

Madison fixed his jeans and buried his face in Laurens’ chest. Hysterical sobs escaped and his whole body quaked. 

Laurens stroked his hair and held the small body close. “You’re safe; I got you.” He retrieved his phone with one hand and clumsily found Jefferson’s number and hit call.

Jefferson answered with a confused, “John?”

“James is safe. I have him,” Laurens said. “I knocked Adams out.” He told Jefferson where they were but had to repeat himself three times before Jefferson heard over his own cries.

The cops, Jefferson, Burr, and Lafayette soon found them. 

Jefferson sank to the ground and Madison curled in his lap.

“How...” Burr trailed off as he looked at Laurens.

Adams gasped for air, crying in pain as a cop handcuffed him.

Laurens indicated to the sheltered corner. “No security cameras, lots of privacy. I... I’ve been back here.” He stared at the ground. “The self-defense class I took came in handy, though.” 

Burr touched his arm. “You did good, John.”

Laurens nodded as one of the officers stepped forward. “I’ll need to take your statement.”

Laurens followed him away from the group. Another officer knelt next to Jefferson and Madison and asked Madison some questions.

Once the questions were over and the boys were free to go, Laurens glanced around. “Where’s Alex?”

“Washington had a heart attack,” Burr explained. He rested a hand against Laurens’ arm, watching him, studying him. How was this the same jerkass John Laurens who had bullied Hamilton last year?

“Oh, shit.” Laurens bit down on his lip. “Is he okay? Is Alex okay?”

Before Burr could answer, Lafayette’s phone rang and they all stared at him, as they knew the call was an update.

Lafayette nodded to himself a few times, said “good” and hung up. “Dad’s fine,” he told his friends. “Alexander is more of a mess as expected.”

Burr and Laurens sighed with relief. 

“I’m going to head to the hospital,” Lafayette said. “Anyone want to come? I can borrow Lee’s van.”

“I’ll go with you,” Laurens said and Burr nodded.

Jefferson struggled to get to his feet with Madison in his arms. “We’re going to go home. I know Washington will understand.”

“Of course,” Lafayette said.

“Are you going to be okay, James?” Laurens asked. He stepped closer to them.

Madison didn’t answer, face tucked against Jefferson’s neck.

“It’ll take time,” Jefferson said. He held out his hand to Laurens. “Thank you, John.”

Laurens shook it but couldn’t find any words as his eyes dampened. 

Lafayette touched his shoulder as Jefferson carried Madison away to his truck. “I’m glad you’re back, John.” He looked at Burr. “Ready?”

He called Lee as they walked to the parking lot and got the okay to take the van. Lee never locked it and Lafayette knew where he hid the spare key.

It was a quiet drive to the hospital. Once inside, Lafayette asked what room Washington was in.

“You must be some of his boys,” she said with a smile.

“Yes,” Lafayette said. “How’d you know?”

“Oh, he’s been talking non-stop about you guys and knew you’d visit soon.” She told him the room number and the three headed for the elevator. 

Mrs. Washington and Hamilton sat on either side of the hospital bed where Washington lay looking bored and ready for discharge. His tired face lit up when he saw more of his boys but the first thing he asked was, “Is Jemmy safe?”

“Yes,” Burr said. He pulled Laurens in front of him. “John saved him.”

Hamilton jumped to his feet. “Jack.”

“Hey, Hammy,” Laurens murmured. He stepped closer and took Hamilton’s hand and reached for Washington. “I’m sorry. I know you guys were right. I’m done with all that shit. I don’t want to live like that.”

Washington pulled Laurens to him and touched his face with the hand not hooked up to an IV. “We’re glad to have you back, John. Whatever we can do to help you get back on your feet, we will.”

“Thank you, sir.” He turned to Hamilton with a pathetic gaze. “Can you forgive me?”

Hamilton nodded. “I’ll never stop loving you, Jack.”

A soft smile played on Laurens’ lips. 

Washington cleared his throat. “How did you save Jemmy?”

Laurens explained everything while Hamilton sat on his lap. 

Lafayette and Burr stood on the other side of the room next to Mrs. Washington’s chair. 

Burr’s gaze remained on the floor. Hamilton was _his_. He shouldn’t allow him to cuddle up to Laurens especially knowing how easily Hamilton could be persuaded back. But now was not the time to make a scene. Nor could he ignore his new realization on just how fucking hot John Laurens was.

“Good job, John,” Washington praised. “I’m proud of you.”

Color darkened Laurens’ freckled cheeks and he ducked his head behind Hamilton’s.

“What’s going to happen now?” Lafayette asked. “Do you think Adams will go to jail? He’s not a minor this time.”

“I don’t know, son,” Washington said. He shifted restlessly in the bed. “I only hope a judge or someone will listen this time that he is a danger to Jemmy.”

The conversation ended as a nurse came in with an amused smile and asked, “Are these all your boys?”

“In one way or another,” Washington said. He smiled at his wife.

The nurse checked his vitals and asked some questions. Finished, she declared him able to go home. “I’m sure you’ll have plenty of help getting out to your car.”

As soon as she left, Washington tossed back his blankets. “Hand me my shirt, Alexander.”

Hamilton got off Laurens and picked up the shirt and shoes on the tray next to the bed.

“Don’t hurt yourself, George,” Mrs. Washington said as he tugged off the hospital gown.

“It was a very mild heart attack, dear,” Washington reminded her. He was soon dressed and stood. “Let’s go.”

Lafayette nudged Hamilton aside and took their dad’s arm as he knew Hamilton would be crushed to the ground and could offer little support if Washington stumbled.

But the nurse returned with a wheelchair and insisted Washington sit. 

Washington grumbled about it but was glad he didn’t have to walk. His body was a lot achier and weaker than he thought and he didn’t want Hamilton to fret if he faltered at all. 

Lafayette wheeled him out but soon turned the chair over to Burr and ran ahead to pull up the car.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Dad?” Hamilton asked as he walked beside the wheelchair and tugged at his earlobe. “What if you have another heart attack?”

“I’ll be fine, Alexander,” Washington said. He took Hamilton’s hand. “Assuming our Jemmy is never hurt again.”

Hamilton nodded but refused to let go of his hand.

Lafayette had the car waiting out front. “Riding with us, Alex?”

“Yeah,” Hamilton said. He glanced at his friends and wondered how bad it would be to ask both of them to stay over.

Lafayette helped Washington in the passenger seat.

“Are you going to be okay, Alex?” Burr asked in a low voice. “I can stay with you.”

Hamilton’s gaze flickered toward Laurens before snapping to Burr’s face and then to his feet. “I don’t want to be alone,” he murmured, “but I don’t want John alone either.”

Burr patted his shoulder. “No drama at home would probably be best. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Hamilton nodded. “Thanks, Aaron.” 

Burr waited, hoping for a kiss but not willing to lean in for one and be rejected.

But Hamilton only waved to him and Laurens and got in the backseat with his mom.

Laurens headed for Lee’s van. “Coming, Aaron?”

Burr followed and got in the passenger seat. He buckled and stared out the window.

Laurens turned the key and pulled out of the parking lot. “I’m not going to try to take Alex from you,” he said. “But you know Alex is the biggest fuck boy and you’re going to have to constantly fight to keep him. If it’s not me, it’ll be someone else who catches his eye.”

Burr continued to stare out the window.

“I’m not trying to be mean. I think you and Alex are good for each other.”

“You’re entirely too handsome for your own good, John,” Burr said.

“So it truly would have been better for you if I had stayed away.”

Burr fell silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know.


	57. Chapter 57

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hamilton gets adopted!
> 
> Forewarning: The Washington's have sex. You have been warned.

Adoption was a new process for the Washington’s but their court date finally arrived a few weeks before Hamilton left on his internship. He and Burr had been able to make up the final they missed during Madison’s abduction and both ended the year with laudable grades.

Hamilton’s heart pounded as he sat with his almost-parents in the courtroom. He knew without a doubt his mom would approve. His father had long ago given up his rights. 

When asked if he consented to the adoption, Hamilton gave a confident, “Yes.” He sighed the papers. He would be issued a new birth certificate but he opted to keep his surname. 

The judge gave the new family her congrats and Washington lifted Hamilton into his arms. “You never have to worry again, Alexander,” he promised. “You will always have a home. You will always be safe.”

The judge stepped toward them, a gift bag in hand. “We always give the adopted child a toy...”

Washington set down his son and Hamilton reached for the bag with a smile. “Thank you.” He peeked into the bag at the brown teddy bear.

The judge smiled back. “Good luck.”

Washington wrapped an arm around Hamilton and took his wife’s hand. They headed out to the car to return home and get ready for Hamilton’s party.

He’d never had a birthday party. In Nevis, his family had been too poor for anything more than, maybe, a small toy and some cupcakes. Once his father left, he never asked for anything but looked forward to pancakes for breakfast and a cookie for dessert that night. None of his foster families had cared and he’d always declined the Washington’s doing anything special. But today he was somebody’s child and had something worth celebrating. It was all his birthdays at once.

All his friends came: Burr, Laurens, Jefferson, Madison. Lafayette and Adrienne arrived along with his best friend Mulligan, who was one of Washington’s boys. Even Lee arrived at Laurens request since he was part of Team Mulligan.

Washington beamed with pride to see all of them together. 

Mrs. Washington was in her prime serving drinks and snacks. She didn’t get to see the boys often but to all of them if felt like they talked to her daily. 

Madison hugged Hamilton. “This is so exciting!” He pecked Hamilton on the lips. “You’re so lucky.”

Hamilton kept Madison tight to him relieved that their precious Jemmy, their little duck, was okay. He was back in therapy but hadn’t let the second almost-assault rob him of who he was. “Thanks, James.” He grinned up at Jefferson. “Do I get a kiss from you?”

“Yeah, right,” Jefferson said.

“It’s the only present I’d want from you,” Hamilton wheedled. “After John, you’re the hottest one here.”

Jefferson looked away and rubbed at his neck. “You’re so annoying, Alexander.”

Hamilton let go of Madison, whispering, “You’re the cutest by far” and stepped in front of Jefferson.

“I’m not good at kissing,” Jefferson said.

“I’m aware,” Hamilton replied and rose up on his toes.

Jefferson gave him a dry kiss and stepped back. “Happy?”

“Hardly.” Hamilton grinned and wrapped an arm around Madison. “Let’s get you some punch.”

“Is it alcoholic?” Madison asked an eagerness in his voice.

“No, I don’t know if Dad wants us drinking.” Hamilton poured him a glass. “A drop of alcohol would do you in, little duck.”

“Oh, are we drinking?” Lee joined them at the counter. “I could use a drink.”

“No one is drinking,” Hamilton said.

Laurens came over and wrapped an arm around Hamilton. “We should, though.” He kissed his friend’s cheek. “Congrats, babe.”

“Thanks.”

Laurens let go of Hamilton and turned toward Madison. “Cute skirt.”

Madison smiled and smoothed down the short, velvet, A-line skirt.

Lee walked passed him and flipped it up in back.

“Hey.” Jefferson was on him in a second.

Lee stepped back. “Sorry. Was just curious what he wore under it.”

“Not your business.” Jefferson crossed his arms.

Laurens yanked Lee along and they went outside.

Jefferson turned to his boyfriend. “What _are_ you wearing under that?”

“Maybe you’ll find out tonight.” Madison grinned at him.

“Get a room.” Hamilton nudged between them and went outside. 

Washington was grilling hamburgers and chatting with Mulligan and Lafayette. Mrs. Washington and Adrienne sat on the covered swing drinking iced tea and talking. Hamilton joined Burr in the grass where he was playing with Potomac. 

Burr nudged his shoulder against him. “Happy?”

A wide smile stretched across Hamilton’s lips and he could only nod.

The late lunch was soon ready and everyone found a place to sit.

Lee kept glancing toward Madison, which put Jefferson on edge. He wasn’t about to say anything, though, not wanting to ruin Hamilton’s party. He made sure Madison stayed near him or Hamilton, yet promptly lost sight of him.

“Lose something?” Hamilton asked as he watched Jefferson’s eyes search around the yard.

“Where’s Jemmy?”

“Bathroom.”

Jefferson got up from the picnic table and hurried inside. He knocked on the door of the downstairs powder room. “Jem?”

“Yeah, what?” Madison asked.

“Making sure you’re okay,” Jefferson said. He heard the toilet flush and the sink turn on. 

Madison came out a minute later. “What?” His brow creased. 

Not wanting to worry him, Jefferson forced a smile. “I feel lost when you’re not in my arms.”

Madison lifted his arms to be picked up and Jefferson complied. They returned to the kitchen where Hamilton was getting more punch. 

He set his cup down and held out his hands. “My turn.”

“You can’t carry Jemmy,” Jefferson said. “You’re just as tiny.”

Hamilton rolled his eyes.

Madison wiggled from his boyfriend’s grasp and bopped Hamilton’s nose. “You can try if you can catch me.” He darted off and Hamilton ran after him into the front room.

They crashed on the love seat under the front window, tickling each other and squealing with laughter.

Jefferson watched bemused from the kitchen doorway as Madison’s skirt flipped up and revealed his silky, black undergarments. 

Hamilton rolled off the couch and Madison landed on top and pinned his arms down. Hamilton could have easily pushed him off but knew he needed to catch his breath and lay still, grinning at Madison’s bright eyes and flushed cheeks.

“Alexander,” Washington called. “It’s time for cake.”

Jefferson crossed the hall into the room and picked Madison off Hamilton and helped his friend to his feet. 

They raced back into the kitchen.

Mrs. Washington had baked a giant chocolate chip cookie cake decorated with chocolate frosting. At Hamilton’s request, she wrote _Mom, Dad, and Alexander_ in the middle.

“I want the piece with the A,” Hamilton said.

Washington indulged him and cut out that piece.

“Thank you.”

Washington kissed his forehead. “Always, my dear boy.”

Everyone else soon had a piece and returned outside. Madison sat on Jefferson’s lap, and not to be outdone, Hamilton sat on Washington.

The friends sat around talking for a while after dessert then began to head out. Lee and Mulligan left first, followed by Lafayette and Adrienne—both showering Hamilton with kisses. Madison started yawning and Jefferson took him home, prying his boyfriend off Hamilton as he hugged and congratulated him.

Laurens, Burr, and Hamilton stood in the foyer after seeing their friends out.

“I’m really happy for you, Hammy,” Laurens said. “Try not to forget about us lowlifes.”

Hamilton squeezed his hand. “Not gonna happen, Jack.”

Laurens kissed him and gave his goodbyes. 

Hamilton closed the door behind him and turned to Burr. “Are you staying?”

“If you don’t mind,” Burr said. “You deserved to get laid tonight.”

A goofy grin claimed Hamilton’s face.

They helped clean up from the party and pretended to watch TV until the Washington’s went up to bed. As soon as they heard the bedroom door close, they raced up to Hamilton’s room. 

Hamilton shoved Burr toward the bed and fell on top of him. They kissed and yanked off clothes. Grunts and curses flew as they roughed each other up.

Across the hall, Washington looked up from his book as squeaks and thumps broke the quiet. “Well, I suppose he deserves it tonight.”

A faint smile tugged at Mrs. Washington’s lips. “Yes, dear.”

Washington reached over and covered her book with his hand. Maybe...” He gave her a coy smile.

Mrs. Washington met his lips. She unbuttoned his pajama top and brushed it off. She rubbed her hands over his shoulders and back as he kissed her neck.

They had to stop, though, and move the pack of old dogs to the floor. Then, Washington helped his wife out of her cotton nightgown and covered her with kisses. He found some lube—hoping it didn’t expire—as age had made them dry.

A few minutes later, he lay back and gasped for air. Mrs. Washington stroked his chest and cuddled close.

But the dogs whined and jumped at the bed. The couple got up and dressed. Mrs. Washington headed to the bathroom while Washington lifted the pack back on the bed, except Potato.

Once everyone was resettled, the couple snuggled together and realized the thumps and squeaks continued from across the hall.

Mrs. Washington pressed a hand against her mouth but a giggle still escaped.

Washington nudged her but he couldn’t stop the grin on his face. They couldn’t ignore the sounds nor help their laughter. The dogs climbed on them and licked their faces, wondering what the excitement was

“We’re horrible,” gasped Washington. “But good for him.”

Mrs. Washington stifled a chuckle. “Maybe turn the fan up, dear.”

Washington got out of bed. They both liked the white noise of a small fan and it helped keep the crowd of dogs cool. He turned it up to full speed, which made it annoyingly loud but did block the other sounds. Except for one passionate shout of “Fuck you, Alexander!” which sent the couple back into muffled laughter.

In the morning, Hamilton half-skipped into the kitchen. “Good morning!”

Washington hid his smirk behind his coffee mug. “Morning, Alexander. Sleep well?”

Mrs. Washington turned a chuckle into a cough and turned away toward the sink and turned it on.

“Yup.” Hamilton sat and grabbed the carton of orange juice on the table. He poured a glass and smirked at his dad. “What about you?”

Washington raised an eyebrow. “Huh?”

“Oh, you weren’t any quieter.” Hamilton grinned. “I’m not even your son officially for a day and I’m already scarred for life by you two.”

Washington rolled his eyes. “Whatever, boy.” He reached over and tapped Hamilton on the nose. “We have a present for you.”

Mrs. Washington grabbed an envelope off the counter and handed it to Hamilton.

He pulled out the card but was distracted by the money that spilled out. “Holy shit!”

Mrs. Washington rested her hands on his shoulders. “We thought you’d enjoy going on vacation to the city this summer. You could take one of your friends.”

Hamilton stared at the money. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“There should be enough for a hotel, a show, and some sightseeing,” Washington said. He reached over and touched Hamilton’s chin. “You’re responsible enough to handle yourself.”

“Thank you,” Hamilton repeated.

“We’ll do a family trip this summer, too,” Mrs. Washington said. “Wherever you want to go.”

“Shit, how much money do you guys have?” Hamilton said.

Washington stood and kissed his head. “You’ll always be taken care of.” He rinsed his cup and put it in the dishwasher while his wife went back to straightening up the kitchen.

Hamilton moved the money aside and read the card. His eyes welled with tears and he scrambled out of his chair and buried himself in Washington’s chest. “I love you so much,” he sobbed.

Washington clutched him tight. “I know, son.” He closed his eyes against his own tears. “I love you, too.”

They parted and Hamilton wrapped his arms around Mrs. Washington. “I love you, Mom.” He nestled his head against her neck.

“I love you, too, Alexander.” She stroked his back and kept him close.

Burr came downstairs a few minutes later and Hamilton pounced on him.

“Want to go to New York City with me this summer?”

Burr grinned. “Totally.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry! Yes, I scarred myself for life, too.


	58. Chapter 58

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hamilton meets someone from his past.

Hamilton booked the hotel for three nights for him and Burr to stay in New York City. He had only visited once and Burr had never been despite not living very far away. They agreed on a Broadway show to see and a few tourist attractions and other places they wanted to visit.

“I’m already overwhelmed,” Hamilton murmured as they got off the subway and stood under the expanse of towering buildings while hundreds of people flooded the sidewalks. Cars honked, brakes squealed. A siren rang out in the distance.

“Right?” Burr took his hand. “I like to think our city is big, then…”

Using their phones, they found the hotel and checked in. The show was that night but they still had time to get some sightseeing in and get pizza for dinner.

The next day they visited a huge bookstore that Hamilton giddily dragged Burr to.

“How many times have you worked at a library?” he teased his friend. “You can admit you like books.”

Burr rolled his eyes. “Fine, Alexander.”

They wandered through the bookstore together but soon separated as things caught their eyes in opposite direction.

Ten minutes later, Burr searched out Hamilton and spotted him a few rows down. “Hey Alex, look—” He stopped when he noticed the person wore a button-down shirt, not the royal blue t-shirt Hamilton put on that morning. “Sorry, you look remarkably like my friend.”

The young man smiled. “No problem.”

Burr couldn’t stop staring at him. Same long nose, same tapered feminine jawline and narrows cheeks. The stranger didn’t have the blue-violet eyes and his hair was more auburn. But... “Do you want to meet him? Sorry, I don’t mean to intrude. But you really could be twins.”

“Sure.” The young man grinned and followed Burr as he searched out Hamilton. “My father and I just moved here so I ought to know who my doppelganger is.”

“Where’re you from?”

“Florida. Well, Nevis originally, that’s in—”

“The Caribbean near Puerto Rico,” Burr finished wide-eyed. “Alexander!” He waved down his friend. “Come here.”

Hamilton hurried over. “Wha— Ned?” He dropped the book he held. “Shit. Edward Stevens?”

A wide smile cracked the young man’s face. “Should have known. Alexander Hamilton. Everyone always said we looked alike.”

They embraced.

Hamilton pulled back slightly. “The fuck, Ned? When did you move to New York? Is your dad here?”

“Yeah. We moved up from Florida, like, two months ago.” Ned gripped Hamilton’s arm. “We don’t live far. Can...can you visit?”

“Yes!” Hamilton moved away to look at Burr. “Ned I and grew up together. Do you mind if we make a detour, Aaron?” He turned back to Ned. “We’re just visiting the city. We live up north.”

“I’m game,” Burr said.

Ned wrapped an arm around Hamilton’s shoulders. “I’m pretty sure you haven’t grown any, Lexi.”

“You’re one to talk, shrimp,” Hamilton teased back.

They followed Ned a few blocks away to a towering apartment building and to the tenth floor.

They entered the small, but tidy front room of the two-bedroom apartment.

“Dad!” Ned shouted. “You’ll never guess who I found.”

Mr. Stevens came out of one of the adjoining rooms and stopped. He pressed a hand to his chest. “Alexander Hamilton?”

Hamilton nodded a shy smile on his lips. “Hi.”

Mr. Stevens crossed the room in a few long steps and embraced him. “We didn’t think we’d see you again, boy. You went through so many foster homes we couldn’t keep in touch. How are you? Where you able to finish school?”

Hamilton held tight to the gray-haired man, not much taller than himself. “I’m really good. I’m going to college to be a lawyer.” He drew back enough to meet the man’s eyes. “My last foster family just adopted me.” Joy claimed his face at the words and brightened his beautiful eyes.

“Oh, Lexi!” Mr. Stevens squeezed him tight again. “That’s so good to hear. Come, sit down, and tell me everything.” He directed Hamilton to the kitchen table. “Do you want something to drink?”

“Water would be nice,” Hamilton said. “This is my friend, Aaron Burr.” He pointed to Burr awkwardly hovering nearby.

Mr. Stevens smiled. “Nice to meet you, Aaron.” He handed Hamilton a bottle of water. “Anything to drink?”

Burr gestured toward Hamilton and mumbled, “We can share.”

Everyone took a seat. Ned and Mr. Stevens stared at Hamilton as he spilled out his journey from the countless foster homes to the finality of adoption just a few weeks ago.

While Hamilton talked, Burr studied the Stevens. Hamilton knew he looked just like them, right? Ned was nearly a copy of his father, just thinner. The biggest difference between all was Hamilton’s redder hair. Burr was certain Mr. Stevens had the same indigo eyes but it was hard to tell from a distance and Hamilton’s eyes often looked bluer and less purple in certain lights, and Mr. Stevens eyes might be playing the same trick.

“When did you move to Florida?” Hamilton asked. He sipped his water and handed the bottle to Burr.

“Three years after the hurricane,” Mr. Stevens said. “The island wasn’t recovering and we were just wasting time and money staying there. Plus Ned needed an education and wasn’t going to get one there.”

“I’m going to be a dentist,” Ned said with a grin.

Hamilton returned it.

Burr choked on his water. The smiles were identical.

“What brought you to New York then?” Hamilton asked.

“Got tired of Florida,” Mr. Stevens explained. “Thought we’d live somewhere where we can experience seasons.”

“They suck.” Hamilton shook his head. “Winter is the worst.”

Mr. Stevens chuckled. “We’re bracing for it.”

“Dad was able to get transferred here to work on a shipping contract,” Ned said.

Hamilton smiled. “You’ll have to come visit me and meet my parents. I know my dad would love to meet the person who got me off the island.”

Mr. Stevens patted Hamilton’s hand. “We’ll do that for sure, Lexi.” He handed his phone over to him and Hamilton put in his number and address and Washington’s number.

“How many of my letters did you get?” he asked.

Mr. Stevens looked at his son. “What, maybe a dozen?”

Ned nodded in agreement.

Hamilton pursed his lips. “So for, maybe, a year after I left?”

Mr. Stevens squeezed his hand. “I don’t know how many times I called the foster agency to try and get a current address. I’d get the runaround and then by the time I got an address you’d be moved again. If I had known it was going to be that hard for you…”

“It’s okay,” Hamilton assured. “Anything was better than being the bastard dock boy of Nevis. You gave me the chance to have a future.”

“We could have done more.”

“No.” Hamilton met Mr. Stevens’ eyes. “I know you guys weren’t much better off, especially not after the hurricane. I’m glad you got off the island, too.” He grinned at Ned. “I can’t believe you’re going to be a dentist.”

“That shouldn’t be a surprise,” Ned teased. “How many of your teeth did I pull?”

Hamilton laughed. “True.”

“Loose ones I hope,” Burr murmured.

“Yeah.” Hamilton sighed in contentment. “I never expected this to be what I discovered in NYC. This is so perfect.”

Mr. Stevens touched Hamilton’s cheek. “It’s a huge relief to know you’re safe and happy.”

Ned nodded. “Do you have a girlfriend, Lexi?”

“Nah.” He glanced at Burr. “Haven’t really dated a whole lot.”

“You’re still young,” Mr. Stevens said. “We won’t keep you boys from your trip. I’m sure you have plenty to see.” He stood and ruffled Hamilton’s hair.

Hamilton got up. “You’ll visit, right? Soon?”

Mr. Stevens gripped his shoulders. “Very soon.” He kissed Hamilton’s cheek.

Hamilton and Ned embraced and goodbyes were said.

Once they were back on the street, Burr took Hamilton’s hand and kissed it. “Lexi, huh?”

“Oh, shut up.” Hamilton nudged him. “We have enough time for a museum before we need to get ready for our dinner reservations.”

“Alex…” Burr trailed off not sure how to mention how much the Stevens’ looked like him.

“Hmm?” Hamilton cocked his head.

“I love you,” he said instead.

Hamilton smiled. “Same.”

They spent the rest of the afternoon in a history museum, then returned to the hotel to change and freshen up before dinner. The restaurant was formal and darkly lit.

Hamilton and Burr grinned at each other as they took their seats at a candlelit table amongst fancy couples.

“Try not to order the most expensive thing,” Hamilton said.

“Okay, but there aren’t prices on the menu,” Burr replied.

“Don’t order the lobster then.”

“Well, I’ve never had it,” he teased.

Hamilton rolled his eyes. “No, Aaron.”

They talked non-stop until their food arrived, quieting down to enjoy the pricey meal and share with each other. Afterward, they took advantage of the long summer night and walked around the city.

“Did you ever go to prom?” Burr asked as they walked hand in hand.

“No,” Hamilton said. “I never felt comfortable asking anyone. Did you?”

“Same.” Burr stopped and faced Hamilton. “The whole dancing part never appealed to me but I always wanted the after part.”

“Sex?” Hamilton clarified.

“Yeah.” Burr glanced away for a moment. “We’re both dressed up. Can we pretend?”

Hamilton smiled. “I’d like that.”

They returned to the hotel and made out in the elevator and raced to their room. There, they shed suit jackets and ties, kicked off shoes and crashed on the bed.

Burr unbuttoned his partner’s shirt and sucked on his chest. He pushed the collar off Hamilton’s thin shoulders and marked him with bruises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Comments? This book is almost over :(


	59. Chapter 59

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Washington has doubts.

Hamilton announced their return with a passionate, “Where’re home!”

Washington came out of his office and Mrs. Washington from the kitchen with the dogs.

Hamilton ran toward his dad and launched himself in his arms, legs hooked around his waist.

Washington stumbled back before he stopped the momentum and squeezed his son tight and kissed him. “Did you have fun?”

“Yes!” Hamilton let his feet touch the floor and pulled back. He hugged Mrs. Washington while Burr gave the dogs attention. “You’ll never guess who we found.”

Washington glanced at Burr and saw his faint grimace.

“Mr. Stevens and Ned!” Hamilton exclaimed. “They’re the ones who got me off the island and into foster care.”

“Wow,” Washington murmured and rubbed his chin. The name rang a bell in his head as if he’d read it recently. “What’re the odds?”

“Right?” Hamilton spun around. “I told them to visit soon. You’d like Mr. Stevens, Dad.”

“Well, we do have both extra bedrooms ready again,” said Mrs. Washington.

“Sweet!” Hamilton dropped to the floor to coo over Potato. A minute later, he jumped up. “I’ll put my stuff away and call Ned.” He grabbed his bag and raced upstairs.

Washington let out a sigh. “Exhausted, Aaron?”

“A bit,” Burr agreed. “He ate a lot of candy on the train ride home.”

“I could tell.”

“Would you like something to drink?” Mrs. Washington asked.

Burr followed her into the kitchen.

Washington returned to his office and got out the key to a file cabinet by his desk. He unlocked the bottom drawer and pulled out the stack of papers that pertained to Hamilton’s life as a foster child. His file was at least three times thicker than any other child they’d fostered.

He knew Mr. Thomas Stevens had been the one that signed Hamilton’s paperwork to surrender him over to the foster agency after no other family member came forward to claim the boy after his cousin committed suicide mere months after his mother died. But he was certain he’d seen the name on other papers, too.

Mrs. Washington and Burr joined him in the office.

“What’re you looking for, dear?” she asked.

“Stevens,” he said shuffling through a stack of papers.

“Ned looks just like Alexander,” Burr said. “Mr. Stevens…”

“Uncanny resemblance?” Washington finished.

Burr nodded.

“It wouldn’t make a difference,” Mrs. Washington said. “Alexander has you, dear, you’re his father. It would hurt him to—”

“It would hurt him less to know his father wasn’t garbage,” Washington interrupted.

“I’m not sure what you’re hoping to find, George.” Mrs. Washington picked up the journal where her husband had kept his logs on Hamilton while he was in their care as a foster child. They took turns on who wrote the daily details on how the foster children settled in and on their behavior. “You’ve seen his birth certificate. James Hamilton is listed as his father; otherwise, his surname would be Stevens or Faucette.”

“It’s not that.” Washington dug into a different stack and pulled out a packet of papers stapled together.

Mrs. Washington flipped through the journal surprised how full it was considering Hamilton had only been a true foster for a few months before he aged out of the system. She noted the dates and realized her husband had never stopped his log, recording how his son did in college, his continued fears, the abandonment issues, when he went on anxiety medication, and finally his adoption.

“Here,” Washington said and handed over the papers.

Mrs. Washington glanced at the signature on the bottom of several pages: Thomas Stevens. “What am I looking at?”

“These are the school records from Nevis. James Hamilton and Rachel signed a few but, look—” He pointed to the dates. “After James Hamilton left, Stevens started signing them along with Rachel. Why would she ask him to sign Alexander’s report cards if he wasn’t, possibly, the father?”

Burr stepped closer and looked at the forms in Mrs. Washington’s hands. “Maybe two parents were required to sign and he didn’t want Rachel shamed? It sounds like the island was rather conservative.”

“But why Stevens?” Washington shook his head. “The coincidences are too strong. You said they look alike, Aaron. I find it hard to believe on an island that small that two unrelated people would happen to look that much alike.”

“Why would Stevens send him away then?” Mrs. Washington asked. She returned the papers to the stack.

“A better chance at a decent future?” Washington rubbed his forehead. “I’m sure he saw how bright Alexander was. He would know there was little hope of him becoming anything on the island.”

“Alex said he was known as the bastard dock boy,” Burr injected.

Washington nodded. “That would have stifled him for life there. Stevens probably didn’t have the means to move after the hurricane but knew he could, at least, save Alexander.”

“He didn’t try very hard to find him again,” Mrs. Washington said. “James Hamilton I understand not bothering to try, but Mr. Stevens seems cut from a different cloth.”

“Maybe he assumed Alexander was doing okay,” Washington said. “If he visits, you can bet I’m going to ask him.”

“George,” Mrs. Washington cautioned. “Let’s try not to meddle too much.”

“Alexander should never have been subjected to the life he was.” Washington seethed. “How could anyone—” He stopped at the approaching footsteps in the hall. He quickly gathered the mountain of paperwork and returned it to the filing cabinet as Hamilton pushed the door open.

“What’s going on?” Hamilton looked at Burr.

Burr managed a quick grin. “We were _trying_ to plan a surprise dinner for the Stevens.” He led Hamilton out of the room.

Mrs. Washington studied her husband. “I know it still hurts you that God or whoever didn’t put Alexander in our path when he was thirteen or given to us as our own child as an infant.” She took his hands. “But he wouldn’t be the dear boy you love today if he hadn’t gone through the life he had. He’d be an obnoxious, spoiled brat and you know it if we had raised him any younger.” She let go and handed him the journal that hadn’t made it back in the drawer. “Alexander made it through hell. He’s our son. No one will take him from us and you can bet that he will never think any different.”

Washington sighed. “I know you’re right.”

“Good.” Mrs. Washington left the office and closed the door.

Washington opened the journal to the first page.

_Abandoned for the last time. Eleanor Madison brought him to us after his foster family couldn’t be bothered to drop him off. Didn’t eat much for dinner; seemed afraid to take too much food. Overwhelmed, but that’s expected. He’ll settle in soon. Lafayette is doing his best to help him. He’s not the jealous type for which I’m grateful, as I know Alexander is going to require a lot more attention and love than our Laf._

He returned the journal to the bottom drawer and locked the filing cabinet. He sat at his computer, lost in thought.

“Dad?” Hamilton poked his head in the office.

Washington blinked to refocus his eyes and snap out of his daydream. “Yes?”

Hamilton came in and closed the door behind him. He fiddled with the doorknob. “I’ve always wondered…” He chewed on his lip.

“Come here, Alexander.”

Hamilton headed toward him and sat on his lap.

Washington stroked back his messy hair. “Do you remember when you first came here?”

“I was a brat,” Hamilton murmured.

A faint smile touched Washington’s lips. “No, you were scared and unsure. No one had ever taken care of you before. Your foster families let you run wild and labeled you as troublesome and led you to think you were a bad kid. No one understood you. Mr. Stevens understood you when you were a child and tried to make things right for you by sending you to the US. You understand that he tried, right?”

Hamilton nodded. “Do you think he’s my biological father?”

“I would like to try and find out if that’s okay with you.”

“I don’t know.”

“I understand.” Washington stroked Hamilton’s arm. “Whatever you want in life, Alex, I’ll make it happen, I promise.”

Hamilton rested his head against Washington’s chest. “You already did. You adopted me.”


	60. Chapter 60

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Stevens arrives.

Mr. Stevens and Ned arrived for a visit a few weeks later.

Hamilton sat on the front porch waiting and jumped up the second a car pulled into the long driveway.

The Stevens men got out and embraced Hamilton.

“Quite the place,” Mr. Stevens said and ruffled Hamilton’s hair. “You did good, boy.”

His parents met them on the porch and introductions were made.

“I always prayed Alexander would end up somewhere like this,” Mr. Stevens told the Washington’s. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for him.”

“It’s our pleasure,” said Mrs. Washington as her husband seemed more likely to shoo them off the property. “You’re just in time for lunch.”

Mrs. Washington had already put Potato away upstairs and the rest of the pack investigated the newcomers with interest.

Hamilton rattled off their names, bouncing on his toes and getting in the way. “I’ll show you your rooms.” He grabbed Mr. Stevens bag.

Washington watched them go upstairs and murmured to his wife, “The boys could be twins.”

Mrs. Washington nodded at a loss for words.

After a lunch where Hamilton gave no one else a chance to get in many words, he took his friends for a drive around the Estates and to his college.

During dinner, Washington managed to get a word in and ask Mr. Stevens about his job.

He had owned a shipping company in Nevis but after the hurricane destroyed the docks and all his equipment and business, he’d been forced into odd jobs to get by until he could get his affairs in order and move himself and Ned to the States. In Florida, he worked his way up in a similar job until he was the manager of the shipping plant and offered the position in New York City. The pay was relatively the same but both were ready for a change. Ned hadn’t cared for his college and was eager to transfer.

“I’m taking classes in the fall myself,” Mr. Stevens said. “I’m ready to get out of shipping and eventually help Ned start his own dentistry business.”

“Then you could move closer,” said Hamilton.

“We would enjoy being in a smaller city,” Mr. Stevens agreed.

“George would definitely keep you in business,” Mrs. Washington said.

Washington groaned. “My teeth are fine, dear.”

“Keep telling yourself that.” She patted his leg.

After dinner, Hamilton and Ned went upstairs to catch up alone. Downstairs, Washington didn’t hesitate to ask, “Are you Alexander’s father?”

Mrs. Washington tsked at his bluntness and murmured an apology as she poured wine.

Mr. Stevens sighed. “I didn’t know it at the time I sent Alexander into foster care. I’d always wondered but Rachel had never said anything to me. After James took off, I offered her as much help as I could and hoped she might tell me but she was a proud woman and determined to take care of herself and sons.”

“How long did the older brother remain with Rachel?” Washington asked.

“A few years.” Mr. Stevens sipped his wine. “He was an odd kid, aggressive, disobedient. I was rather relieved when he ran away so that he didn’t corrupt Alexander.”

“How did you find out then?” Washington kept his eyes on the man.

“When Ned and I were packing up to move to Florida, he found a photo album in a closet. We had just assumed all our pictures had been destroyed in the hurricane but that had somehow made it into a box of stuff we recovered and then got stashed away and forgotten. There were some pictures of the boys in there and Ned started asking questions. He’d never realized how much he and Alexander looked alike. By then, Rachel was dead and Alexander was in New York. I told Ned what I knew, that there was a possibility but I didn’t know for sure.”

He paused to take another drink and avoided Washington’s intense stare.

“Once we were settled in Florida, Ned asked me if we could do a DNA test. I thought he was crazy because where were we going to get Alexander’s DNA? By then we hadn’t had any letters from him in two years and couldn’t figure out where he was. Ned gave me this little box with Alexander’s baby teeth in it from when they’d played dentist and well…” Mr. Stevens scratched his head and glanced at Washington.

“Did you bother to try and find him?” asked Washington, a faint growl in his voice.

Mrs. Washington squeezed his leg.

“Yes.” Mr. Stevens studied his wine. “I went to the original foster agency I had dealt with but, apparently, that one had shut down and the new one didn’t have all the records. They could tell me that, yes, Alexander was in the system, but they didn’t have the paperwork with my signature on it and couldn’t legally give me any information. They wouldn’t accept my DNA paperwork unless I wanted to jump through a million legal hoops and court fees. I was barely putting food on the table for Ned at that point. I couldn’t have taken care of Alexander anyway.”

“You just let him sit in foster care then?” Washington snapped.

“George!” Mrs. Washington glared at her husband before turning to Mr. Stevens. “I’m sorry. Alexander had a rough time in foster care and was, well, abused by many. We understand why you did what you did. That’s why the foster system is available, even if it can be unfortunate. It’s why we’re foster parents.” She squeezed her husband’s hand. “Right, George?”

Washington sighed. “Yes, dear.” He stood and wandered around the kitchen. “Ned knows then?”

“Yes,” Mr. Stevens said.

“Who was Ned’s mother?”

“My wife. She passed away shortly after Ned’s birth. We weren’t married very long. Alexander was conceived before I married.” He grimaced. “Barely. Alexander deserves to know.”

“ _If_ he wants to,” Washington stressed. “Your intentions may have been good as a temporary guardian to him but as his biological father, you are another in a long list of adults who have abandoned and let him down. He doesn’t deserve another heartbreak.”

“I understand.” Mr. Stevens stared at his wine. “You’re his parents; the decision is yours to make. I will respect that.”

Washington nodded. “Thank you.”

 

Upstairs, the boys lounged on Hamilton’s bed, quiet after talking for nearly two hours.

“I brought something you might like to see,” Ned said. “Some pictures that survived the hurricane.”

Hamilton nodded as his heart pounded. Was there a chance some of the pictures might be of his mom? He only had one picture of her and himself when he was eight.

Ned got the album out of his suitcase and set it on the bed. “Dad and I had some of the pictures restored and we have digital copies now, too.” He let Hamilton open the album and look through slowly, his fingers trembling.

Ned leaned close to him. “That’s my parents on their wedding.”

Hamilton turned the page.

“Do you remember my house?” Ned pointed to the picture. “No shock that it didn’t stand up to the hurricane.”

Hamilton nodded and turned another page. His mind reeled with images of home. The Stevens’ house had always remained clear in his mind but he had forgotten just how green and vegetative the island had been, of all the flowers and trees, of the heavy undergrowth in the yard where he and Ned had crawled around for hours finding bugs and snakes—before he feared them.

“There’s baby Lexi.” Ned grinned at Hamilton.

Hamilton’s eyes widened as he stared at the picture of a baby in a wicker basket wearing a onesie. “That—that’s me?” He pinched his lip to stop the quivering.

“Yeah.” Ned pointed to the baby’s bald head. “I have a mole on the side. It’s really the only way to tell us apart. That’s you.”

“I…” Hamilton stared at the baby, at himself. “I’ve never…”

Ned squeezed him close. “I didn’t know you’d never seen your baby pictures. We’ll make sure you get the digital copies and you can have the originals, too.”

Hamilton nodded. He couldn’t stop staring at the picture.

Ned rubbed his back. “There are more of you, too.” He turned the page. “There’s you and your mom and there we are together. Look how dumb we’re dressed.” He chuckled at their sunsuits and floppy hats.

Hamilton leaned closer to the picture and studied his mom. She had a wider nose, rounder jaw than he did. He glanced at the picture of him and Ned as toddlers and closed his eyes. “Your hair used to be as red as mine.”

“Yeah. I got lucky it darkened.” Ned ruffled Hamilton’s red hair.

“Your dad’s did the same, didn’t it?”

“I think so.”

“We’re brothers, aren’t we?”

Ned rubbed Hamilton’s back. “Yes.”

Hamilton kept his eyes closed. It was bad enough to think his father had abandoned him at seven but to have his actual father ship him off to a foster agency at thirteen? “Why?”

Ned didn’t need any clarification and explained everything, about their dad not being sure, about the teeth and DNA test, about foster agency’s records. “We just—we had to hope you were okay. By the time we knew, you were almost eighteen.”

Hamilton pushed Ned away. “Then why didn’t you search fucking social media? You would have found me in two seconds!”

“Lexi,” Ned reached toward him. “Would you have wanted us to dump this on you before now? Could you have handled it? It’s better that things happened the way they did. You wouldn’t have ended up with your parents if we invaded your life sooner.”

Hamilton broke down sobbing and within moments, Washington pushed the door open and had his son in his arms. He took Hamilton across the hall to his room and cradled him on the bed.

“I know it hurts, love,” Washington said. “It hurts me, too. But if not all that had happened, you wouldn’t be here with Mom and me. You wouldn’t have Lafayette or your friends.” He kissed Hamilton’s forehead. “I know life has not been fair to you but trust me that it will only get better.”

Hamilton sucked in a shaky breath and drew back. “What am I supposed to do?”

A twinge of pain settled in Washington’s chest and he hoped it wasn’t another heart attack. Although, he’d take that over actual heartbreak. “What do you want to do?”

Hamilton sucked in another breath. “I want to show you my baby pictures.”

“I would love nothing more.”

Ned had gone downstairs and left the album on the bed. Hamilton showed Washington his baby picture, his mom, himself as a toddler. He continued through the album and found more of his mom and him, more of him and Ned, even one of his other half-brother.

Washington chuckled at the picture of scrawny pre-teen Hamilton with a fishing pole in hand, shaggy red hair pulled back in a ponytail. “You’ve been a disaster from the start, my boy.”

“Ugh, I look horrible,” bemoaned Hamilton. “Am I only wearing underwear? Shit, I don’t think I knew how poor we were.”

The picture grew less amusing the longer they looked at it and noted the bruises on Hamilton’s knees and blisters on his hand from working the docks. His was only wearing worn underwear, feet bare and dirt stained. He was painfully thin, all knobby knees, bony elbows, and ribs.

Washington turned the page unable to bear it any longer. That was the last picture of Hamilton, though. The hurricane would hit soon, his mother would die, he’d be sent away to a continent he’d never set foot on, into a life completely opposite from anything he’d ever known. He’d been a wild child on the island, working, playing, doing as he pleased and thrown at such a hard age into a life of forced obedience, sitting still, obeying rules. And no one understood that. The grown-ups saw his energy and intelligence and did everything to crush it, conform him into a stressed, anxious boy that listened.

Hamilton closed the album and traced the word ‘family’ written across the front. “He’s my biological father.”

Washington remained quiet and watched Hamilton’s creased forehead and puckered chin. The pain remained in his chest but he was certain it wasn’t another heart attack.

“But that doesn’t really matter.” Hamilton opened up the album again. He stared at the one picture of his actual, biological parents together. A man stood further in the background whom he was certain was James Hamilton, although he couldn’t recall much of what he looked like. “But they’re also my past.” He swallowed and looked at Washington. “I never called Mr. Stevens ‘dad.’ But he did try I know that. He deserves a chance, doesn’t he?”

Washington touched Hamilton’s shoulder. He wanted to say _No, he does not._ But the decision had to be Hamilton’s.

Hamilton had grown up thinking his father was a jerk who abandoned his wife and children, left them in poverty and his mom desperate to keep them fed. But was his real father any better? He hadn’t kept Rachel off the streets or gave his son a home. True, he hadn’t known at that time, but… There were too many pieces Hamilton didn’t know. He didn’t know anything about his mom’s relationship with Mr. Stevens. He didn’t know anything about Mr. Stevens marriage with Ned’s mom. He didn’t know what brought Rachel and Mr. Stevens together, what tore them apart. He couldn’t judge on what little he knew.

He wanted to know.

“Do you want to go downstairs?” Washington asked.

“I should,” Hamilton said but he remained staring at the photo album.

Washington stood and kissed the top of Hamilton’s head. “Give yourself a few minutes.”

Hamilton closed his eyes as he heard the door shut. How long had he lived with the Washington’s? Was it really almost three years? It was by far the most stable home he’d ever lived in. He had parents and friends, why would he want to leave any of that? But he had another family, too. A biological father, a man who knew his mother. He had a half-brother that hadn’t run away like the man he thought was their dad. Wouldn’t it be nice to know family?

But they weren’t family.

Mr. Stevens hadn’t been there during countless tortured nights of sleep. Mr. Stevens hadn’t consoled him and held him. Mr. Stevens hadn’t given him clothes, books, electronics, paid for a year of private high school nor for college. Mr. Stevens had done his part to create him but also destroy him.

Hamilton went downstairs on quiet feet.

The Washington’s, Mr. Stevens, and Ned sat around the kitchen table in uncomfortable silence.

Potomac barked and gave the scrawny redhead away.

Washington stood at once and reached out to him.

Hamilton sat on his knee and held tight to his hand.

“I know this is where you belong, Lexi,” Mr. Stevens said. “I never wanted to bring you any pain. I hope knowing your past doesn’t damage your future.”

“It won’t.” Hamilton closed his eyes against the tears that wanted to spill. “I do want to know about my mom.”

“Anything, Lexi.”

“It’s Alexander.”

Mr. Stevens nodded. “Of course.”

Silence fell back around the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to hear thoughts on this new revelation!


	61. Chapter 61

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of Sophomore Year.

The Stevens’ left the next morning with the promise to Hamilton to visit again before school started and he had some time to process all he learned.

In the meantime, Hamilton packed for his internship at the Schuyler’s upstate home and fretted about leaving his parents. Especially when Washington started to have frequent chest pains.

“Of course he says he fine,” Hamilton griped to Burr on the phone. Burr had gotten permission to remain in the dorms for the weeks before his internship and work around campus. “But what if it’s serious? I don’t want to leave if he’s sick.”

“You’ll have to trust him, Alex,” Burr said. “I’m sure if something was dire, he’d ask you to stay home. He just needs some stress free months and he’ll be good.”

“I suppose. You’re coming over Friday night, right? We leave Monday.”

“Yup.”

They chatted a little longer about the internship before Burr had to get back to work.

Hamilton tossed his phone on his bed and picked up the photo album the Stevens’ had left for him. He paged through the pictures again and ground his teeth. He put it aside and walked across the hall and knocked on his parents’ bedroom door. “Dad?”

“I’m in the tub, Alexander,” Washington replied.

“It’s an emergency.”

Washington sighed to himself. “You’ve been forewarned. Come in.”

Hamilton entered and crossed the room. He stood in the open doorway of the bathroom.

“Yes?” Washington asked as he thanked the homebuilder for including such a large tub that he could actually fit and remain somewhat decent.

“I keep thinking about Mr. Stevens.” Hamilton fiddled with the hem of his shirt.

Washington closed his eyes briefly and his heartbeat sped up. This was it. This was when it would crack, when he’d have the fatal heart attack. “And?” the word escaped through pinched lips.

“I don’t think I want to see him again.” Hamilton glanced up. “Is that okay? Shouldn’t I want to see him?”

Washington’s body sank deep into the water in relief. “No, Alexander, that’s perfectly fine. It’s okay to let go of people, even family. You’ve been through enough and it’s okay to take care of yourself.” He looked at his boy. “You do what you need to do.”

Hamilton nodded. “Thank you.”

“May I finish my bath?”

A smile tugged at Hamilton’s lips. “Yeah, sorry.”

He left but barely five minutes later the bedroom door opened again. “Now what?”

“It’s me, dear,” Mrs. Washington said. She held a basket of laundry on her hip. “You can always lock the door, you know.”

“I don’t believe anything would stop Alexander and I don’t feel like buying a new door every week.”

Mrs. Washington chuckled. She folded the laundry and put the towels away in the bathroom.

Washington watched her work. “Martha?”

“Hmm?”

“You look very lovely.”

Mrs. Washington looked down at her comfortable but hardly flattering pink muumuu. “It’s ten o’clock in the morning, George.” She returned to the bedroom with the empty laundry basket.

Washington popped the drain open on the tub and grabbed the towel on the platform that surrounded the inset tub. “So? We’re grown-ups; we can do what we want.” He dried off and put on his robe. He joined her and lay back on the bed, feet resting on the footboard. “You can lock the door.”

Mrs. Washington shook her head, a bemused smirk on her face. “You’ll be the death of me, George Washington. I have another load of laundry to do. You shouldn’t be exerting yourself anyway.”

“Don’t you dare try and pamper me,” Washington teased and sat up. “That’ll always be my job to do to you.”

Mrs. Washington kissed his lips. “Good. Go spend time with your son. It’ll be a long eight weeks for you.”

“Indeed.” Washington dressed and found Hamilton in the backyard checking out the small garden Mrs. Washington kept. “We might have some raspberries and a few tomatoes by the time you’re back,” he said.

Hamilton stepped toward him. “I don’t want to go.”

Washington hugged him tight. “I’ll be here when you get back, I promise.” He held his son by the shoulders and met those vibrant blue-violet eyes. “You don’t have to be afraid anymore, remember?”

Moisture gathered in Hamilton’s eyes. “I know,” he whispered.

“Good.” Washington kissed his forehead. “Never forget how much I love you.”

Hamilton tucked his head against Washington’s neck. “I won’t.”

***

Washington saw Hamilton and Burr off at the train station. “Remember to work hard and mind your manners,” he instructed as he parked the car along the curb. “You’re to be professional and not make a nuisance of yourselves.”

“We’ll be good,” Hamilton said.

Burr got out and unloaded their suitcases from the trunk.

Hamilton stared out the car window, fingers on the door handle.

“You’ll do fine, Alexander,” Washington reassured. He got out of the car and grabbed Hamilton’s backpack from the backseat.

Hamilton followed suit and took the bag. “Thanks, Dad.”

Washington wrapped an arm around Hamilton and squeezed. “Call, alright? Mom will want to hear from you.”

“Yes, sir.”

Washington let go and handed Hamilton some cash. “And this—” he took out a credit card “—is for emergencies only. Understood?”

“Yes, sir.” Hamilton secured the card and cash in his wallet. “Thank you.” He licked his lips. “For everything.”

Washington kissed his forehead. “Alright, Alexander.” He ran a hand through his son’s messy red hair. “You’re all set.”

Hamilton sucked in a deep breath and followed Burr into the train station. He paused at the door to look back and wave.

Washington waved back and the pain in his heart returned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, share your thoughts on the story! 
> 
> The adventure will continue with Junior Year!


End file.
